r/wallstreetbets • u/OperationSuch5054 • Dec 04 '24
"CEO gets gunned down in the street outside an investor conference. Wow, I bet that's going to really destroy the stock price" Meme
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Dec 04 '24
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u/Small-Manner6588 Dec 04 '24
Employees kill the bottom line :4640:
Kill employees :12787:
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u/Softspokenclark I moan "Guuuuh" for Daddy Dec 04 '24
ah yes, the boeing playboook
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u/gizmostuff Dec 04 '24
Boeing's playbook is more snitches get stitches...
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u/mpoozd Dec 04 '24 edited Dec 04 '24
Boeing has 2 CEOs particularly for that
Chief Executive Officer
and
Chief Execution Officer335
u/bmeisler Dec 04 '24
“I’m in M&E - murders and executions.”
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u/Dr_Jabroski Dec 04 '24
Have you seen the cost of stitches? That's why they just kill them.
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u/Boson347 Dec 04 '24
Damn, all this is starting to sound a lot like the crap corpos pull on each other in Cyberpunk
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u/Traditional-Dingo604 Dec 04 '24
Given the way it was done, i agree, it does feel like an orchestrated hit.
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u/Joeness84 Dec 04 '24
A man with a mask
A gun with a silencer
This wasnt some Jason Statham movie event. This could very easily have been a father whos daughter died from denial of care. Masks and guns are not hard to come by.
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u/N3rdScool Dec 04 '24
I mean isn't that the movie event? Insurance didn't cover my daughter and she died NOW THEY MUST PAY.
Unfortunately that makes a ton of suspects lol
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u/Empty-Win-5381 Dec 04 '24
Musk just did that with tesla. 20% reduction of delivery 20% reduction of employees
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u/hiricinee Dec 04 '24
They'll deny coverage for his ambulance and ER visit.
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u/HardlyAnyGravitas Dec 04 '24
"Being a target for assassins is a pre-existing condition."
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u/WIlf_Brim Dec 04 '24
More like:
"This was an act of terrorism. Terrorism and acts of war are specifically excluded in your policy coverage guide."
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u/-ghostinthemachine- Dec 04 '24
Just goes to show that the real money is going to be in replacing the CEO's with AI.
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u/Every_Independent136 Dec 04 '24
Replacing insurance companies with automated risk pools. No need for employees
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u/thelimeisgreen Dec 04 '24
Nah, they’ll just promote someone else and pay them the same. Probably have to pay them more, now that the job has verified risk.
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u/MoveableType1992 Dec 04 '24
Assassination was priced in
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u/guy244 Dec 04 '24
“According to The New York Times, the gunman was armed with a 9MM pistol with silencer, and dressed in a black hoodie. He apparently knew which door Thompson was going to enter and waited there. The gunman shot Thompson several times from a few feet away. Thompson was shot in the back and back of the leg. The gunmen fled the scene on an electric Citi Bike.”
So much to unpack here. Definitely targeted so I’m guessing a lot more to the story will come out
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u/misterpickles69 Dec 04 '24
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u/Devincc Dec 04 '24
Not the Fagio!
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u/chadhindsley Dec 04 '24
Always loved the monotone sound it made and how you can make it even more high-pitched by standing up on it
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u/Scroteet Dec 04 '24
The fagio was the goat for driving into oncoming traffic.
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u/NearlyExtinct45 Dec 04 '24
Longest wheelies, too. Get it to about 12 o'clock and it would just stay there.
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u/I_do_drugs-yo Dec 04 '24
That’s some mob hit type shit. I don’t even think modern Italian mafia would have the balls to do that these days. But i’ve been wrong before
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u/Fifteen_inches Dec 04 '24
Much like the Shinzo Abe assassination, a lone wolf is harder to stop than a conspiracy, especially when you are objectively the bad guy.
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u/zenerat Dec 04 '24
Lone gunmen are almost impossible to stop unless you live in a gilded cage.
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Dec 04 '24 edited Dec 04 '24
He probably lived in a gilded cage, but sometimes you gotta attend public-facing investor events.
I'm not going to say I would do this, but GTA 5 taught me if you buy enough stock you get updated about where the CEO is going to be.
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u/Normal_Package_641 Dec 04 '24
That's why Cuckerberg is building an island compound
https://www.wired.com/story/mark-zuckerberg-inside-hawaii-compound/
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u/DocPhilMcGraw Dec 04 '24 edited Dec 04 '24
They've already taken down the UnitedHealth Group and UHC Leadership pages. I am assuming so that nobody else will be targeted.
Edit: before anyone else comments underneath me, just know that what you are about to say has been said by just about every other comment ahead of you. You're not contributing anything new by posting a link to the wayback machine or saying "oh yeah like that will stop them".
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u/Naskr Dec 04 '24
Hiding their pre-existing condition of being prime targets for revenge killings.
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u/atheistunicycle Dec 04 '24
What a timeline we live in that this joke even makes sense.
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u/unevenvenue Dec 04 '24
Not sure it's a joke. My first thought of this murder was that it was perhaps the significant other of/a scorned Insured.
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u/StealthWanderer_2516 Dec 04 '24
Treatment (covered by UNH of course!) requires a prescription of bodyguards, armored transportation, and chartered flights only. Domestic commercial flights could cause complications of this condition.
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u/KeyboardGrunt Dec 04 '24
Now they're gonna lobby for executive anonymity which I'm sure won't be used to commit fraud in any way.
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u/Genneth_Kriffin Dec 04 '24
Now we're talking.
Unknown corporate leadership and board members including CEO,
Unknown majority shareholders,
and most importantly no requirements to actually document any of this in any way so that when shit goes crazy you can't even put the blame or prosecute anyone because no one knows who runs it in the first place.Also enables us to have purely AI ran corporations, so that they can eventually own everything, evict humanity fully legal and tell us to get of their property (everything), and this shithole planet might actually be a decent place some day.
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u/GordoPepe Likes big Butts. Does not Lie. Dec 04 '24
Good thing nothing on the Internet stays forever, would be a shame if it was cached somewhere
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u/UnNumbFool Dec 04 '24
It would be an even bigger shame if people took this as some sort of whistle call and started targeting other high profile ceos
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u/johndsmits Dec 04 '24 edited Dec 04 '24
wayback machine time. Can't stop the signal, Mal.
Puts on event venues.
Calls on private security services...
and Citi ebikes.
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u/DeliriousHippie Dec 04 '24
Obviously it wasn't since stock went up. This could definitely be a new way for corporations to raise stock price. If CEO is performing poorly them board hires a hitman and stock goes up. It's also great incentive for CEO. Win-win situation for all.
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u/naazzttyy Dec 04 '24
Only requires a healthy supply of expendable CEOs for infinite stock price growth!
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u/dirkdiggler403 Dec 04 '24
A CEOs job is basically to lay people off every couple of years. Very few of them are actually good at anything. The founders build an amazing company, just for some dipshit accountant to come in, look at a couple of financial statements, and say we need to cut 5% of the company. No direction, no risk to try and grow the company, just shave a couple dollars here and there. Look, we are becoming more profitable! No, you're not, you are just nickel and diming your employees.
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u/dwinps Dec 04 '24
Bullish because they probably had a key man life insurance policy on him and his stock options that hadn't vested disappear.
I'm going long on Citi stock, shooter rode off on a Citibike, showing how effective bicycles are in getting around NYC. Whether commuting or making a quick get away, Citibike has you covered
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u/Swissstuff Dec 04 '24
Now this is the type of thinking were looking for in wsb, calls on this dude
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u/allumeusend Dec 04 '24
Citibike is actually owned by Lyft if you are really looking for that play.
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u/Myers112 Dec 04 '24
But he knows dumbasses on WSB won't know that and will instead all in on CITI Bank
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u/kerrykingzgo-T Dec 04 '24
Bullish sentiment. It's what he would have wanted :4276:
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u/internetonsetadd Dec 04 '24
He died doing what he loved. Creating value for shareholders.
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u/Dickies138 Dec 04 '24
I'm going to hell, lmao
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u/SwapandPop Dec 05 '24
Any God who doesn't chuckle at stuff like that aint a God worth following.
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u/magistratemagic Dec 04 '24
They're gonna have a hell of a time finding an impartial jury
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u/3BlindMice1 Dec 04 '24
The jury selection questions are going to be like "do you believe that it's moral to murder the CEO of a company responsible for your loved one's death?"
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u/Snortingthathopium Dec 04 '24
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u/DonutsOnTheWall Dec 04 '24
it's nice they have their priorities on when to announce that right.
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u/ZarkingFrood42 Dec 04 '24
I would care more about a single bulb on that tree burning out than any lowlife scumbag insurance CEO.
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u/Boobsnbutt Dec 04 '24
It's just targeted gang activity. The shooter probably has no beef with normal citizens.
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u/hereforthefeast Dec 04 '24
The leaked footage shows a random woman at an atm almost point blank range from the shooter who runs away. The killer had zero interest shooting anyone else.
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u/Here4theshit_sho Dec 04 '24
Bullish
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u/bibbydiyaaaak Dec 04 '24
Now they get a new CEO who's more prepared for the unexpected.
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u/jsmooth7 Dec 04 '24
If a company can drive its customer base into so much debt they resort to assassinating the CEO, that's an indication of a very strong business model.
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u/FarrisAT Dec 04 '24
Yeah that’s why I invested in UNH back at $450
I got fucked over by them so I know they are making huge dollars. Love American insurance!
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u/redditadminzRdumb Dec 04 '24
Damn are gun shot wounds preexisting conditions?
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u/Meldanorama Dec 04 '24
Adjudged self inflicted via risky behaviour probably.
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u/KingOfTheWolves4 Dec 04 '24
Believe it or not, being a CEO for a company that denies people life saving care bc it’ll be too expensive for the company, means you’re predisposed to 9mm gunshot wounds.
YMMV
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u/Chivalrousllama Dec 04 '24
My bet is someone was angry their loved one was denied lifesaving care
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u/Snoo-60254 Dec 04 '24
Working with insurance they are one of the top deniers
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Dec 04 '24
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u/zeratul-on-crack Dec 04 '24
I am in Chile and these motherfuckers fucked me over hahaha. Fucking global reach of shithousery
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u/ariesdrifter77 PAPER TRADING COMPETITION WINNER Dec 04 '24
He’s in Chile, he’s innocent
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u/redditdoggnight Dec 04 '24
We were all in Chile when this happened. Ask any of us.
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u/soareyousaying 🎲🎲 Dec 04 '24
Not only you get fucked over getting your insurance denied, now they think you are masterminded the assassination.
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u/bentreflection Dec 04 '24
Nearly every single month they deny my daughter's already approved expensive medicine due to "clerical errors". My wife has to regularly spend hours on the phone dealing with layers and layers of BS bureaucracy until finally reaching someone who just says "whoops that was an administrative mistake again. our bad!" I don't know how it's legal to continually deny claims "accidentally" on purpose. It's insane that it's even legal for insurance to deny care prescribed by a doctor at all. Why is my employer health insurance company getting to decide what medical care my family gets over an actual doctor who examined the patient?
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u/BurninNuts Dec 05 '24
It is illegal, but they are banking on you not know what kind of resources you can use to fuck them over. If you have all the instances documented correctly, often all it takes is for the right government agency to know.
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u/TheShadow2024 Dec 05 '24
as a lawyer friend often tells me: "There's having your rights, and there's enforcing your rights. And those are two very different things."
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u/TennesseeTater Dec 05 '24
Sometimes the easiest way to enforce your rights is by waiting outside a hotel for a bit!
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u/BurninNuts Dec 05 '24
Depending on your state, there could very likely be a department that gets the hardest boner for giving out what are known as CAPS and penalties to plans. The plans hate them and costs them millions to get of caps and millions in penalties. It won't end them, but that doesn't mean it wont hurt them. You will be surprised how consumer friendly healthcare can be in the US. Sometimes the hardest part is mustering up the courage to let them know.
Your rights will be enforced, but it won't be handed to you on a silver platter. Hell sometimes all you need to do is notify the plan's compliance dept that you know you can hurt them and they will back off.
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u/softwarebuyer2015 Dec 04 '24
we've narrowed it down to 3,765,221 people with a strong motive
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u/rackmountme Dec 04 '24
Totally plausible. That was actually my first thought because I had surgery on Monday. Still recovering.
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u/Flimsy-Perception407 Dec 04 '24
Ah, plausible deniability, alibi just may check out that it wasn’t you ay….
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u/rackmountme Dec 04 '24
I’m on the opposite coast, thank god cause I need some fucking weed!
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u/TomatoSpecialist6879 Paper Trading Competition Winner Dec 04 '24
All the top evil companies executives spend a lot on security for a good reason, no idea why he thought it was a good idea walking around walking around when lots of people lost their loved ones to denied insurance across the fucking globe
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u/Mysterious-Job-469 Dec 04 '24
It's arrogance. When the government basically lets you walk all over anyone with less money than you, you start to think you're truly bulletproof and that everyone you've destroyed and stepped on will never retaliate.
H'whoopsie-daisy!
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u/Phatferd Dec 04 '24
My wife has cancer and they decline every god damned thing the doctors say she needs. It's beyond frustrating and I would be lying if I didn't want to find someone in charge and punch them in the face.
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u/NyCWalker76 Dec 04 '24
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u/DisAccount4SRStuff Dec 04 '24
$10k reward, lmao. What does that buy you? A used 2010 Toyota Camry? Not even a semesters college credits? A single stock option? Lmao.
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u/kellyk311 Dec 04 '24 edited Dec 04 '24
2024 and we still have potato quality cameras out there.
Eta: video of this happening https://www.reddit.com/r/the_everything_bubble/s/Y0G2eEjTqd
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u/BionPure Dec 04 '24
Dogshit $10,000 reward too. Wouldn’t even cover a semester of tuition + housing at most college campuses
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u/kellyk311 Dec 04 '24
Or any medical treatment that ceo would deny coverage for...
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u/fortestingprpsses Dec 04 '24
It would probably cover your yearly out of pocket though!
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u/fvck_u_spez Dec 04 '24
Wouldn't even cover the copay for a major operation for somebody with United Health insurance
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u/Mysterious-Job-469 Dec 04 '24
I mean, yeah. All of those cameras have to have their footage stored. It's not cheap. Cut the framerate and resolution down and you can store more for less.
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u/magneticyields Dec 04 '24
10k reward? that’s less than 1% of ceo’s salary
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u/matt82swe Dec 04 '24
1%? His total compensation was about $10m så make that 0.1%
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u/ashishvp Dec 04 '24
Only 10k for info on a murdered CEO worth millions.
Lmfao I think even the NYPD doesn’t give a fuck. I hope they never find him…
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u/TheDocFam Dec 04 '24
If they find him, I feel like in a criminal trial for his murder case they're going to have a really hard time finding a jury that will be impartial
If I'm selected for that case I'm going jury nullification all the way, I know he's guilty but I'm voting not guilty on my verdict
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u/Joe_Early_MD Dec 04 '24
Looks like his Chinese food delivery guy. Maybe a bad tipper?
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u/Agloe_Dreams Dec 04 '24
Thats a $300 peak design camera backpack, bit of a giveaway. That said, the guy clearly was betting on looking like a delivery person. It probably is somewhat reasonably well planned but there are just so many cameras in NYC.
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u/AbsorbingTax Dec 04 '24
I have United through work and was considering investing because they deny everything the first time. They also jack up the copay for services that are covered, like physical therapy, with no notice. Definitely one of the most greedy insurers.
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u/worldspawn00 Dec 04 '24 edited Dec 04 '24
Had a gold plan with them and they wouldn't cover my generic meds ($150 for a scrip with insurance when it's $40 through the local pharmacy discount program without insurance), then they raised my rates 30% for next year, I dropped that BS and switched to a local provider for less than half the cost and they actually cover my meds.
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u/worldspawn00 Dec 04 '24
It's a real shitshow, and there's zero political appetite to do anything about it, even though probably more than half the country is suffering from the cost or lack of access to care. (I'm sure the millions in campaign funding coming from the insurance companies has NOTHING to do with this... /s)
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u/strugglebusses Dec 04 '24
As someone who follows these companies specifically, wait until unh trades at 18x fpe. Better buys out there right now
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u/Limp-Might7181 Dec 04 '24
Gotta respect a company who’s willing to kill their own to protect their stock price
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u/waterhammer14 Dec 04 '24
Had he been injured, his insurance probably wouldn't have covered his hospital bills
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u/Whoopziedaisy Dec 04 '24
Dear dying customer,
Your assisination was preauthorized, and payment to us will be made in the form of higher copays, charges, deductibles, legalized monopolies masquareding as a free market, wanton medication price increases, consolidstion of health service options, and c-suite bonus compensation.
- united health
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u/brwonmagikk Dec 04 '24
Any health care company that’s has a gunman assassination their CEO has to have incredible financial fundamentals to generate that much hate among the common person. Great buy!
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u/retupmocomputer had sex once Dec 04 '24
What a legacy. The CEO of an enormous company gets murdered in broad daylight and the stock is flat to slightly green.
All quiet on the western front.
Vey allegorical. The sacred and the propane.
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u/Traditional_Sir6306 Dec 04 '24 edited Dec 04 '24
Some people really give everything up for money. Like imagine if this guy could see what's happening now, I wonder if he'd change anything if given the chance.
The only people who mourn you publicly are empty suit politicians who you've probably bribed before, everyone across the Internet is commenting what a scam your business model is and how you deserved assassination, your years of trying to keep a low profile have been for naught now and everyone is going to examine every facet of your life to find a possible motive, and the stock price actually went up because everyone knows you were never necessary in the first place to the business. I guess his family might miss him but that's the most basic achievment in life. My family would miss me and I'm a douchebag.
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u/Ber-r-fk69420 Dec 04 '24
Damn, maybe if his insurance company approved the bulletproof vest that his doctor prescribed we’d still have one more parasite inflicting suffering on millions.
Oh well.
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u/MortemInferri Dec 04 '24
Why would some useless soft skills CEO affect the price? They can get anyone else from the ruling class to step in and sell slop to the masses.
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u/No-Name7841 Dec 04 '24
I’m not even mad, my premiums went up 700$ a month from this company.
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u/Extreme-Guitar-9274 Dec 04 '24
My wife worked for UHC during the covid era. My son got diagnosed with autism, and her company coverage would cover his evaluation but NOT his services. She quit that day. Had to do with some crazy loophole in Michigan. My wife could explain it better, but something having to do with their headquarters being located out of state. I still don't totally grasp it. A kid in my sons class with Autism also had UHC, but because his Dad worked for the Government ( a federally backed plan?), his son was fully covered. When my wife quit, they acted so surprised (I overheard that call. They seemed legit shocked).
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u/Maki85 Dec 04 '24
It’s insane isn’t it? Gov plans generally have a lot more exceptions and additional options available compared to private sector. Healthcare companies ironically don’t care what so ever about their employees health.
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u/TorontoYossarian Dec 04 '24
So.... calls on SPY and then we fire up the guillotines.
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u/TheFoxsWeddingTarot Dec 04 '24
As far as stock price… the CEO hid a government inquiry into UHG while he and his friends unloaded millions of their shares. It is in fact good for the company that this was brought to light and now everyone knows what was and is going on there.
I feel very sad for his family and don’t agree with assassination as a business strategy but he was not doing UHG any favors.
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u/Irrelevantitis Dec 04 '24
So what private bodyguard/security provider do I put $100k on? Hurry up, shit closes in an hour.
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u/meteorprime Dec 04 '24
Yeah, it sounds like they just save a ton of money
Entire company still functions without him right?
maybe his position doesn’t need to be filled then
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Dec 04 '24 edited Dec 04 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Maumau93 Dec 04 '24
Steady... That's how you get investigated by the fbi
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u/mikemanray Dec 04 '24 edited Dec 04 '24
I think it will be straight to Gitmo for an online threat to the DOGE czar.
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u/tulipshakur Dec 04 '24
Not really, they are dismantalling the FBI in a few weeks.
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u/AfternoonBears Dec 04 '24
FBI? I thought Trump had submitted an all Kash offer to take it private?
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u/HeheDzNutz Dec 04 '24
The money don't care about his life, just like all the lives he's ruined for money. Enjoy Hell asshole
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u/VisualMod GPT-REEEE Dec 04 '24
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