r/LeopardsAteMyFace • u/DaFunkJunkie • Apr 27 '22
Desantis gets a taste of his own medicine
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Apr 27 '22
Lot more where this came from:
“How blessed will be the one who seizes and dashes your little ones against the rocks.”
Psalms 137:9
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u/arbitrageME Apr 27 '22
wait what? is that a thing?
I thought the infanticide was when Abraham almost sacrificed his son to God, then god was like .. wtf you were going to actually do it, you twisted fuck.
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Apr 27 '22
He was OK with Jephthah sacrificing his daughter, though.
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u/Cute_little_person Apr 27 '22
"Weeping for her virginity"
Yeah, cause keeping her vagina dickless is much more important than her personality. /s
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Apr 27 '22
I mean, considering that they had no idea about penicillin and STD’s it’s pretty easy to see how keeping your junk pure would have more emphasis than being a swell person.
It’s kinda how pork was deemed sinful at a time when people had no idea about proper cooking and storing temperatures of pork (or any food.) Also, why blended linens were forbidden, because they had no idea that God wasn’t cursing them, they just used a toxic plant fiber and got rashes.
Just saying, the lack of knowledge leaves a lot of room for the imagination. Just look at QAnon.
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u/ConfessSomeMeow Apr 27 '22
Isn't there some big church whose women's youth group is called the Daughters of Jephthah?
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u/darewin Apr 27 '22 edited Apr 27 '22
Reminds me of when God annihilated (or explicitly allowed the Devil to annihilate) Job's children and grandchildren to test his faith and made up for it by giving him more wives than before so he ends up with more children and grandchildren compared to before. And all the while, God and the Devil were spectating his suffering like they were watching the Truman Show. When I first read the Book of Job in my early teens, I was like, "Damn, God didn't give a fuck about Job's original descendants."
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u/arbitrageME Apr 27 '22
yeah, that story has a TINY bit of redemption if you were Job, the protagonist, and if you were anyone else, you just died
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u/TheUnknownDane Apr 27 '22
Even for Job with our modern view it would be weird that your family is so replaceable.
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u/Candid-Topic9914 Apr 27 '22
This is from the book lol:
9 “Does Job fear God for nothing?”(Y) Satan replied. 10 “Have you not put a hedge(Z) around him and his household and everything he has?(AA) You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land.(AB) 11 But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he has,(AC) and he will surely curse you to your face.”(AD)
12 The Lord said to Satan, “Very well, then, everything he has(AE) is in your power, but on the man himself do not lay a finger.”(AF)
Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord.
Like my guy, you just got played by the devil. It’s the oldest trick in the book
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u/Confident_Feline Apr 27 '22
It's best if you read Job as a rock opera that for some reason got included in the holy book
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u/ForfeitFPV Apr 27 '22
I mean, there's that whole story with the plagues and Carlton Heston that includes marking your door with sheeps blood so that God knows not to kill your firstborn... as he then proceeds to kill the firstborn of everyone else.
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Apr 27 '22
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u/Cryhavok101 Apr 27 '22
Oh that had nothing to do with knowledge and everything to do with power and obedience, because god is the biggest, most narcissistic megalomaniac ever written. They had to mark the doors solely to prove that they were obedient to his word, or he'd kill their firstborn too. Just take a look at his idea of eternal paradise: eternally singing praises to him. He's a psycho.
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u/Sometimes_gullible Apr 27 '22
It's weird really. We can look at all the other mythologies and see the crazy stuff people told themselves to warrant the existence of their gods, but not this one. No, this one is totally legit and not a myth despite having the same inconsistencies and homicidal tendencies the others did!
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u/light_to_shaddow Apr 27 '22
Wouldn't he already know who was obedient without the theatrics?
If all outcomes are known before an event, is there even any free will at all?
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u/Deetwentyforlife Apr 27 '22
The point wasn't to show God you were obedient. The point was to show yourself you were obedient to God, to make sure you knew you were his feckless slave. The point was your hands shaking in fear, covered in the congealing blood of livestock you couldn't afford to lose, as you defaced your home in a desperate attempt to appease the Wrath of a loving, gentle God, and knowing you would do even this in your terrified subservience to him.
The true moral of most human action in biblical stories isn't proving subservience to God, it is proving subservience to God to oneself by one's own horrible actions.
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u/Raestloz Apr 27 '22
You forgot the part where the Pharaoh surrendered and tried to release the Jews multiple punishments ago but God decided to harden his heart to justify the punishments
And for some reason, the Pharaoh is the bad guy?
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u/DirtyRedytor Apr 27 '22
Don't forget the book of Kings 2 where two she bears tear 42 kids to shreds.
2 Kings 2:22-24
21st Century King James Version
22 So the waters were healed unto this day, according to the saying of Elisha which he spoke.
23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel. And as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him and said unto him, “Go up, thou bald head! Go up, thou bald head!”
24 And he turned back and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two shebears out of the wood and tore forty and two children of them.
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u/j0j0-m0j0 Apr 27 '22
Imagining siching two shebears at a bunch of kids because they were roasting you for being bald. It's such a sudden and over the top story it's just straight up hilarious
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u/Joliet_Jake_Blues Apr 27 '22
King James Version
Wait, I thought it was the Ving Rhames version?!
Just when Christianity was starting to make sense...
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u/StalinDNW Apr 27 '22
There is so much stuff in the Bible you would never believe is from the holy book of a major religion. Reading the Bible is the fastest way to become an atheist. If they're still devout after reading it, well, you'll know who to avoid.
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u/JuniorSeniorTrainee Apr 27 '22
Reading the Bible is the fastest way to become an atheist.
100% what happened to me. Right around my confirmation (16) I decided to get serious about my Catholic upbringing. They even gave me my own bible.
I feel asleep for a few nights reading it, and right around where Noah got off the boat and was immediately instructed to start building altars to sacrifice animals to, I was starting to wonder wtf I was reading.
Then I got to a bit where Noah cursed and entire bloodline because he got drunk and caught in a compromising position. The whole parable read like a complete miscarriage of what I consider moral.
Within a few weeks I had lost religion like a baby tooth. Good riddance.
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u/Elriuhilu Apr 27 '22
It's worse than that. God explicitly told Abraham to sacrifice his son by stabbing him to death. Just as Abraham was about to do it, god said "uh, I changed my mind."
But yeah, god ordered soldiers to smash babies against rocks. Also, God had an an angel murder every firstborn son in Egypt.
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u/stopdroprollablunt Apr 27 '22
Only a Florida Man can take out Florida Man
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u/samwichse Apr 27 '22
Like the infinity stones
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u/BossRedRanger Apr 27 '22
Back in the day, you just needed an Adam Warlock to defeat the infinity gems.
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u/northwesthonkey Apr 27 '22
To beat a scumbag you gotta think like a scumbag. Big ups to Florida Man
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u/notafakepatriot Apr 27 '22
I agree, but there is nothing "scumbag" about requesting the Bible be removed from schools. It's a violent, hypocritical, abusive, misogynistic book.
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u/gibbon_dejarlais Apr 27 '22
Pulling for Florida Man for the first time. I expect to be let down.
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Apr 27 '22 edited May 02 '22
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u/Sobuhutch Apr 27 '22
Yeah, but Republicans like slavery.
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u/Spacefreak Apr 27 '22
No, no, no. They just want people to have the freedom to sell themselves into slavery.
They're just courageously fighting for our freedoms, guys.
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u/achillymoose Apr 27 '22
No no no, they just want to put bullshit laws on the books so they can arrest black people and actually use them as slave labor in the prison system
I don't know why they teach in schools that we ended slavery. It never ended, it just looks a little different now. They even still have the slave catchers, and they still wear badges
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u/Mortwight Apr 27 '22
It used to be worse. But yes prison labor is still slave labor
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u/emdave Apr 27 '22
Great video on this topic by Knowing Better on YouTube - https://youtu.be/j4kI2h3iotA
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u/Madhighlander1 Apr 27 '22
The relevant constitutional amendment explicitly states that slavery is still allowed 'as punishment for a crime'.
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u/Theungry Apr 27 '22
Slavery is allowed as punishment for a crime. Make drug use a crime. Make sure drug addiction is fostered in black communities. Codify different penalties for drugs rich people do vs poor people. Use your newfound slave labor to make more money for rich people.
This is not even controversial. This is just a list of things the US has done in my life time.
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u/zombie_girraffe Apr 27 '22 edited Apr 27 '22
Yes, but mentioning slavery violates Floridas other ban on discussing Critical Race Theory, and the parts in the bible about being a "steward of the earth" or whatever violates Floridas ban on discussing climate change.
Florida Republicans have basically made it illegal to teach anything that might make a wealthy old racist uncomfortable in public schools.
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u/Grantoid Apr 27 '22
B-b-but it was the DEMOCRATS who did slavery!! We're the party of Lincoln!
Pay no attention to the history of the parties or state voting records...
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u/Fig1024 Apr 27 '22
if they like it so much, can I enslave one?
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u/SupaSlide Apr 27 '22
I'm sure they'd be willing to betray their Black conservative friends if it meant they could have slaves too.
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Apr 27 '22
And sooooo much prostitution.
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u/BellabongXC Apr 27 '22
Prostitution is in the Bible, but what the OP of what you're replying to is referring to is that Deuteronomy literally has advice on how to treat/abuse/manipulate your slaves.
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u/bdiggity18 Apr 27 '22
“Thou shalt beat thine slave 3 times per diem, nay 4, nay 2 except on in the process of counting to three…”
I forgot what verse it is but I’m pretty sure that’s accurate
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u/meglon978 Apr 27 '22
The Book of Armaments, Chapter 2, verses 9 to 21. I bet you're one of those guys that counts to 5.
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Apr 27 '22
Incoming Christian responding by saying something about context and time period as if it makes it moral
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u/IppeZiepe Apr 27 '22
Ah yes, the cherry pick Bible!
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u/toth42 Apr 27 '22
The bible cherry picked edition, about 15 pages long for most. And OT is only valid when it suits you, the rest was apparently cancelled by NT.
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u/Marmalade_Shaws Apr 27 '22
This is my favourite argument to pick up when people try to attack me with that wretched book. They don't expect that I've read any of it so when they quote at me any part of the new testament I get to pull the John from Galatians card. This pretty little number goes thusly:
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. -Paul, Galatians 5:1
Basically Jesus dying on the cross was to absolve the world of its sins to grant access to the Gates of Heaven. Therefore he broke the "yoke of slavery" holding us in the old ways.
So quoting Old Testament is basically a slap in the face and them saying "well his death wasn't good enough. We are not amused." They tend to either get incoherently mad or brush me off and walk away.
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u/toth42 Apr 27 '22
Therefore he broke the "yoke of slavery" holding us in the old ways.
Didn't he also say something like "I have not come to cancel the law, rather to uphold it" though? I feel like there's a direct contradiction for every bible passage, in the bible.
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u/Marmalade_Shaws Apr 27 '22
Lots of contradictions. A book thousands of years old, translated and retranslated, pages missing, certain books banned/not considered canonical (Gospel of Mary and Judas).
Yes, Paul says in Romans that their duty is to uphold the law and not overthrow it. I can only assume he meant the New Testament but who knows. I don't even believe in this stuff. I just read the book out of defense.
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u/Grindelbart Apr 27 '22
I have read somewhere that when he said I have to come to fulfill the law/prophets he literally means the old testament. But as you said, contradictory book, orally transmitted for hundreds of years before being written down, by a group of people that didn't know where the sun goes at night.
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u/Synthwoven Apr 27 '22
If it is a female trying to teach me about the Bible, I refer her to 1 Timothy 2:12 and tell that chattel to shut her pie hole.
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u/Marmalade_Shaws Apr 27 '22
Oh absolutely. If you're going to use a book to insult me or a group of people and declare that group has no right to exist anything you hold dear is fair game.
Shit in the bible you can rape a woman and pay $315.52 to her dad and own her. I don't think the Bible is a book women want to defend.
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u/endthe_suffering Apr 27 '22
"it's a product of its time!"
ok... then why aren't we treating it like a 2000 year book written by a bunch of weirdos?
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u/machinery-of-night Apr 27 '22
It's not like we don't love those; fucking wish something from Diogenes had survived.
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Apr 27 '22
This kills me because it shows that God is a fallible jackass that got a case of remorse and decided to give peace a chance. Who the hell believes this shit?
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u/selfrespectra Apr 27 '22
But then the same people will say the bible is authentic and relevant in our day.
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u/RunsWithApes Apr 27 '22
Yes because an omnipotent/omniscient deity couldn’t morally rationalize how wrong slavery is or foresee the changing attitudes towards the practice. It’s almost as if (gasp!) The Bible was written by people who were a product of their time.
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u/ianmerry Apr 27 '22
You mean the Bible was constructed specifically to control Roman citizens? Heresy! /s
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u/Different_Papaya_413 Apr 27 '22
It’s ok, omniscient and infallible God (jesus) changed his mind and said he was wrong and that all those old laws were actually bad!
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u/QuestionableSarcasm Apr 27 '22
I would respect them quite a bit more if they straight up removed at least the blatantly obscene shit out of their books
but that would force them to admit it's just a normal book, instead of the "word of god"
which means it will never happen (nevermind it is absolutely impossible for them to coordinate such an effort in the first place)
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u/windypalmtree Apr 27 '22
Deut 23:13 is also about how to take a shit and bury it away from your village.
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u/Meruror Apr 27 '22
And the best part is, you’re not even doing it out of consideration for other people. No, the reason you need to bury it is because god hates seeing shit on the ground.
Well if he hates seeing it so much, why did he design living beings to produce it then?!
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u/cionn Apr 27 '22
And numbers has instructions on how to perform an abortion!
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u/gigabored Apr 27 '22
The only time abortion is mentioned in the Bible is when it's instructed or suggested. You'd think it's be explicitly forbidden in the ten commandments the way it's fought against by modern Christians though.
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Apr 27 '22 edited Jun 27 '22
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u/evemeatay Apr 27 '22
The problem is that any sane person knows their arguments are not genuine so going by their logic won’t work. They’ll just say “yeah, that’s not what we meant” without any further explanation because they’re just making shit up anyway.
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u/SlightlyAngyKitty Apr 27 '22
And global genocide, which apparently makes for a cute bible story for children as it has animals in a boat.
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u/Remarkable_Gain6430 Apr 27 '22
Ah but according to conservative Christian tossers, it was nice slavery.
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u/stomponator Apr 27 '22
"I don't think it was slavery-slavery. I think it was something else, but I don't believe it was slavery-slavery."
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u/PostCool Apr 27 '22
If it was legitimate slavery, well the body has a way to shut that whole thing down - Todd Akin …probably
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u/speculatrix Apr 27 '22
Indentured servitude.
Much as the Republicans are doing to people today by getting them into huge debts from education or healthcare costs.
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u/epigenie_986 Apr 27 '22
I often feel like the Public service loan forgiveness program for student loan repayment is like that.
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u/SaltyBarDog Apr 27 '22
And stoning.
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u/NfamousKaye Apr 27 '22
Tells you you can do everything but have sex with them if you’re both male. Cause that’s somehow worse than beating them?
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u/NoiseTherapy Apr 27 '22
This is where you cite the Bible to put it in their faces. I’m a fan of Ezekiel 23:19-20 which reads:
Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
I mean, who doesn’t want to cite the donkey cock and horse cum slut verses? Lol
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u/ManyFacedGodxxx Apr 27 '22
Agreed!
And I look forward to the Satanic Temple requesting equal access to school and public facilities…
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u/Zero-Milk Apr 27 '22
I immediately thought of TST as well. Right now they're probably looking at this story like why didn't we think of that?!
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u/babybopp Apr 27 '22
Forget satanists...
Mormons will seek this shit
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u/hamsterhueys1 Apr 27 '22
Mormons use the Bible I’m kinda lost
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u/amoliski Apr 27 '22
But they have Bible Part III, and most Christians say they only made two.
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u/OliveOilBaron Apr 27 '22
Wow! So the Bible is actually a trilogy, and the Book of Mormon is Return of the Jedi?
I'm convinced!
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u/killeronthecorner Apr 27 '22
They also use the Book of Mormon and a couple of others. I'm not certain but I doubt they're widely available in schools (outside of Utah at least).
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Apr 27 '22
I mean, that's great and all, but desantis knows none of this will hold up. It's all a show to generate outrage to help with his chances in 2024. He has to out trump trump, which is going to be impossible when you're as dull as desantis. It's probably why he's going really hard on the crazy as of late.
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Apr 27 '22
God fucking dammit your right, fighting fascism in its own playing field is a fruitless endeavor
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u/lefty_sockpuppet Apr 27 '22
In their flaccid attempts to craft the legislation in a way that it might stand up to accusations of being partisan, the FL Legislature have left the "anti-woke" laws vulnerable to exploitation.
DeSantis does not give a single fuck that these laws will almost certainly be overturned - they are being passed for political theater, and he hopes that they will lead to him getting the GOP nomination for the presidency in 2024.
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u/mike_b_nimble Apr 27 '22
It amazes me how often Republican Governors (especially in FL) pass unconstitutional laws and the use tax payer money to defend them, all just for political theatre to get their names in the news ahead of Presidential election campaigns.
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Apr 27 '22
Remember when those damn democrats tried to give us....health care!?!?!?
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u/thelastevergreen Apr 27 '22
Remember when the last governor of Florida was literally a ball python wearing a human skin suit...and was TERRIBLE at his job...and then instead of kicking him to the curb, Florida made him a fucking US Senator?
Florida is weird.
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u/fragbert66 Apr 27 '22
Comparing Rick Scott to a ball python is a grave insult to ball pythons.
We call him Skeletor.
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u/Laxziy Apr 27 '22
That is an insult to Skeletor as Skeletor had great comedic timing and brilliant insults
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u/I_am_not_JohnLeClair Apr 27 '22
Don’t forget, with the Boofer and the Handmaid’s Tale lady on the supreme court, these batshit laws may not ever be overturned
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u/TheKrakIan Apr 27 '22
Since republicans no longer want to debate, they should be put in a ring and made to fight it out. I'd pay to see Abbot and Desantis go at it.
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u/pizza_engineer Apr 27 '22
🦈 vs. 🤡
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Apr 27 '22
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u/FifthHorizon Apr 27 '22
Somewhere a SyFy exec just woke up with a raging hard on
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Apr 27 '22 edited Apr 27 '22
Not gonna lie, I'd watch it.
... I mean the movie. Not the erection.
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u/MagnarOfWinterfell Apr 27 '22
DeSantis does not give a single fuck that these laws will almost certainly be overturned
It's better for him they they're overturned, so that they're not weaponized by the "woke".
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u/kaenneth Apr 27 '22
GOP is so much theater, when they had power they did nothing about abortions because they were saving it for blaming dems in elections.
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u/donewityoshit759 Apr 27 '22
And incest, but I'm guessing Florida is OK with that part.
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u/jocax188723 Apr 27 '22
Rape and incest in the same story, too.
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u/destin325 Apr 27 '22
Ezekiel 23:20
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
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u/LonePaladin Apr 27 '22
This is my go-to response to anyone who sees a scripture reference and automatically assumes it's something positive and uplifting. I just drop the reference, let them look it up.
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u/EarthIsInOuterSpace Apr 27 '22
I went on a date with my husband and brother. Both of us had the special.
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u/Arcades_Samnoth Apr 27 '22
Well, they've been trying to push for really close family's
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u/donewityoshit759 Apr 27 '22
To be fair they're really good frothers to their brons.
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u/greed-man Apr 27 '22
Unless, of course, they get some message in their head that they believe is from some outer space diety, and kill their son.
Oh wait....that's in the Bible too. But probably not in the Republican Bible.
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u/lolzimacat1234 Apr 27 '22
When I said the bible was inappropriate in my Canadian Catholic elementary school I was sent into the hall to "think about my choices"...
I chose to transfer to a public school.
I like this guy.
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Apr 27 '22
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u/Sometimes_gullible Apr 27 '22
Gottem'!
They never do like when they get called out as the hypocrites they are.
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u/Moon_Atomizer Apr 27 '22
I said "what about gay sex?" and got sent to the principal's
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u/Confident_Feline Apr 27 '22
It also depends on whether you're comparing the perfect use case or the typical use. Often they'll cite the typical use stat for condoms and then the perfect use stat for abstinence
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u/zEdgarHoover Apr 27 '22
My brother-in-law got kicked out of Sunday school for pointing out inconsistencies in the Bible. He has a PhD in philosophy now.
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u/PawzUK Apr 27 '22
Any institution that punishes critical thought in children is evil.
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u/WillingAnalyst Apr 27 '22
Right. Oh God! Did he accidentally forget to turn off his brain on that specific Sunday? Did he ask how Noah brought in 2 of every species, especially the ones indigenous to Australia, the Galapagos and other exotic locations to a single ship? Cause questions like that automatically mean you burn in hell forever. Never question the story!
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u/cowvin Apr 27 '22
Nobody talks about what happened to aquatic life! If the world were flooded by rain water, then all the water around was freshwater, right? So did all the species in the ocean that rely on saltwater die? Or was it all saltwater and the freshwater species died?
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u/WillingAnalyst Apr 27 '22
They're also very careful to avoid talking about the number of species being approximately 2 million. Food space just to feed the elephant for however long they were on the ship would take up 40% of the ship space. What did they feed the big cats?!! Crocodiles?!!!!
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u/cowvin Apr 27 '22
I mean they also avoid talking about the non animal species. Think about all the plants that would have been wiped out by a massive flood.
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u/Cryhavok101 Apr 27 '22
Noah was just using the same spell the guy from Fantastic Beasts used for his bag.
Can you imagine if god sent out tweets all the time to retcon stuff in the bible, like JK Rowling did with Harry Potter?
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u/librariansforMCR Apr 27 '22
Damn straight. I transferred my kids out too, and got crap for it from parents and parishoners. My only regret is not doing it sooner. So much lasting psychological damage, just because of a fantasy book. It's insane.
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u/bent42 Apr 27 '22
Canadian Catholic elementary school
Good thing you aren't First Nations...
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u/Speculawyer Apr 27 '22
This kind of thing needs to happen more often.
These clowns never realize how hypocritical they are.
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u/Elriuhilu Apr 27 '22
Like that bit when the angels visited Lot in Sodom and Gomorrah to let him know he's the only one there who won't be killed by god. Rioters bang on the door demanding Lot open the door so they can rape the angels, but Lot heroically suggests they should rape his daughters instead.
Or the bit when the guy walks past a group of children who laugh and call him bald, so he prays to God who summons two bears to maul the children to death.
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u/Sometimes_gullible Apr 27 '22
Wait, are those two parts actually true?!
I swear to god that 'holy book' of theirs is nothing but really disturbing fan fiction...
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u/mrducky78 Apr 27 '22
I can't remember the specific passage for lots story but Ezekiel and the bears is 2 kings 2:23-24
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u/MustardWendigo Apr 27 '22
Go ahead and ban Bible from school until the same age as they're saying it'll be acceptable to teach alternative lifestyle stuff. It's fair, frankly.
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u/lifeson106 Apr 27 '22
Unfortunately, this probably won't work. Turns out there are no limits when you don't give a fuck about the law or the constitution and nobody has the balls to hold you accountable. He'll just say no and that's that. That's how fascism works.
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u/theholyevil Apr 27 '22
He kind of took it out of his hands. He was trying to give power to parents and basically made a law that said,
"Any use of racial or sexual before pre-k to 3rd grade is sueable by the parent."
It is open to interpretation. So long as parents agree this could very well happen.
Meanwhile at the Supreme court: ZZZZZZZzzzzzzz
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u/NightwingDragon Apr 27 '22
It is open to interpretation. So long as parents agree this could very well happen.
A parent from an increasingly red state, suing a school board in a red district, arguing in front of a conservative judge that a Christian book should be banned.
Yeah, I don't see any realistic chance of one of those cases being successful. And we'll likely never see one either, as no parent is going to want to throw away money fighting a steep uphill battle that they have almost no chance of winning, even if they are 100% in the right. No conservative judge is going to rule against the Bible, even if the ruling is correct. Especially not in this political climate.
Meanwhile at the Supreme court: ZZZZZZZzzzzzzz
THIS Supreme Court? You REALLY want THIS court making a ruling on that? With Trump's 3 stooges and Clarence Thomas leading the charge, they're more likely to say that the Bible is somehow now required reading for kindergarten students than they would be to give the correct ruling on the subject.
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u/deathclawslayer21 Apr 27 '22
Also it has a DYI section for abortion.
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u/Elriuhilu Apr 27 '22
I don't remember that part, but I remember god instructing his guys to kill the enemy's men and then rip the tiny babies from their mothers' arms and smash them against rocks.
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u/deathclawslayer21 Apr 27 '22
That's more if a really late term abortion but here
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Numbers%205%3A11-31&version=NIV
While it's method doesn't really work it's more medically sound than anything you will find in a Florida sex ed book
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u/MultifactorialAge Apr 27 '22
Wow! Florida man is now a hero. This is definitely the worst timeline.
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u/GoatBnB Apr 27 '22
Good. Separate church and state with extreme prejudice.
Here's a catchy gospel song for Atheists for anyone interested:
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u/Darzin Apr 27 '22
See, the problem is they use religion to throw a fit when it suits them, but they have never once read the actual bible.
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u/Skripka Apr 27 '22
Sadly, I'm guessing this is going to end up like all the Satanic Temple efforts. The Bible is 'different' with annoyingly intentional finger quotes and exempt from reproach with that crowd.
Hell, in court rooms you still are sworn in hand on a Bible...like that actually gives anyone pause before lying
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u/z9nine Apr 27 '22
Hell, in court rooms you still are sworn in hand on a Bible.
It's not required. You can and should opt out of that.
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u/Sobuhutch Apr 27 '22
Not in my state. You don't swear on the Bible here.
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u/deathclawslayer21 Apr 27 '22
I dotneven think we swear ON anything anymore in my state it's like raise your hand alright swear time
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u/Weird_Candle_1855 Apr 27 '22
The satanic temple efforts are also still ongoing, so it's still too early to say.
After all, making Republicans violate the first amendment often enough will cause the party itself to fracture violently, making it incredibly easy to get them voted out of office and replaced with (hopefully) more reasonable people. Honestly, they could still be Republican for all I care as long as it's not the Qrowd.
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u/iVirtue Apr 27 '22
This is hopeful thinking. I'm tired of hearing this. If we have learned anything is that no matter what, the republican party falls in line every time. Regardless of disapproval or whatever as long as it pisses off dems they'll fall in line.
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u/Powasam5000 Apr 27 '22
I was raised as a Christian, but shouldn't the Bible be technically soft banned because of separation of church and state?
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u/PM_FEMININE_PENIS Apr 27 '22
I hope they remove it from the school curriculum. That'll get it right in line with the bill, and show those theocrats what it's like.
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u/elphin Apr 27 '22
Not to mention that the Bible has a lot of incest that’s presented positively. For example, Lot’s two virgin daughters get him drunk (on different nights) and have sex with him. They each get pregnant and have sons. Frankly I find this disturbing.
There are also many stories involving slaves. Students descended from both slaves and from slave owners could find these sections of the Bible very disturbing and ask uncomfortable questions.
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u/parkedr Apr 27 '22
This would be great if Republicans cared about applying their laws equally. This is exactly why they focus on judges.
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