r/funny • u/vernetroyer • Aug 13 '14
Got a little too excited about Shark Week last night
http://imgur.com/gEseeGo1.4k
u/Curtoph Aug 13 '14
Where are the frickin' laser beams attached to your head? Damnit mini-me.
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u/motionglitch Aug 13 '14
Scott probably took it with him
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u/WeaponsHot Aug 13 '14
Scooooooooooooott!
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u/motionglitch Aug 13 '14
ZIP IT
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u/Booblays Aug 13 '14
Zip it... ziiiiiiiiiiiiip... ladies and gentlemen of the jur--ex zip it.. eh.
Look, Number 2 would you please back me up!
Oh look it's Zippy Long Stockings!
Uhhh i can't.....
WHEN A PROBLEM COMES ALONG, YOU MUST SPIT...spshhhh... ZIP IT GOOOD..
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u/mpls_hotdish Aug 13 '14
The rarely seen 'Mini-lodon'
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Aug 13 '14
[deleted]
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u/PintoTheBurninator Aug 13 '14
this is what made me sick about shark week last year. I guess they have run out of interesting facts to fill an entire week so it turned into bullshit giant shark 'reality' shows.
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u/beernerd Aug 13 '14
An endangered species, often hunted for its adorableness.
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u/Marcurial Aug 13 '14
If you try to stuff it in an oven it will punch your balls, so watch out
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u/conradical30 Aug 13 '14
I was tripping at a festival in Asheville a few years ago and went to the bathroom which had those trough-style urinals. I eventually made my way to where you pee, but looked to my right and lost my fucking mind. There was a tiny little asian dude dressed as a shark, looking at me through the teeth but the reflection in his glasses made it look like he had rows and rows and rows of real teeth (just like real ones) and I couldn't handle it so I ran out of the bathroom dribbling pee all over my pants.
I forgot it was halloween.
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u/Carukia-barnesi Aug 13 '14
Tripping on Halloween at a festival with an Asian midget in a shark suit. Yep. Sounds like Asheville.
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u/australiancriminals Aug 13 '14
I was one night night in Asheville..... never again.
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u/stuckonthissite Aug 13 '14
OP turns around to see a tear running down the poor sharks face in the form of a candy kernel.
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Aug 13 '14
raddiccalllll bra
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u/Donald_Keyman Aug 13 '14
I began to search google in the interest of finding a radical bra to post, only to realize that I am at work and don't want to be fired.
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u/horse_you_rode_in_on Aug 13 '14
I was about to comment "you look a lot like Verne Troyer" only to realize that you are, in fact, Verne Troyer.
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Aug 13 '14
I thought "No way this isn't a repost." Then I saw the username.
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Aug 13 '14 edited Apr 15 '19
[deleted]
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Aug 13 '14
I was wondering why the small child had a beard. And then bam I'm a moron.
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u/goodnightspoon Aug 13 '14
Man, Reddit has the coolest celebrity posters (celebritors?). Verne, Zach, Molly, Arnold..the best.
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u/ThumbtacksArePointy Aug 13 '14
Molly?
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u/KongRahbek Aug 13 '14
Yeah, which Molly?... Ringwald?
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u/brickmack Aug 13 '14
Zach?
Seriously, am I the only one here not on a first name basis with every celebrity to ever post on Reddit?
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u/Kyolbot Aug 13 '14
But you forgot /u/wil - shame on you. Shame on you.
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Aug 13 '14
[deleted]
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u/ZomBStrawberry Aug 13 '14
Stop trying to summon /u/wil by saying his name three times. It only works on a full moon.
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u/redditor3000 Aug 13 '14
Don't you know we hate shark week now?
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u/masterbard1 Aug 13 '14
I had already lost most respect for Discovery Channel. this just pushed them down a bit more.
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Aug 13 '14
[deleted]
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u/AXP878 Aug 13 '14
I have to give Sigourney Weaver some credit. Although I preferred Attenborough she did a good job. I have no defense for Oprah.
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u/SirDigbyChknCaesar Aug 13 '14
Oprah did a terrible job. Her cadence and inflections were totally off. Sigourney Weaver did a good job though.
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u/HideousNomo Aug 13 '14
As an American I think it's safe to say that most everyone agrees. Except maybe my mom
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u/Diiiiirty Aug 13 '14
American here. I bought the Planet Earth blu-ray from Amazon, advertised as the British version. I got it and it was the Oprah version (I refuse to call it the American version because 99% of Americans hate the Oprah dub).
Anyways, I contacted Amazon and told them about the mistake, and they replied saying something to the order of, "Wow, I can't believe we'd do something so...terrible. Keep the Oprah version and we'll send you the Attenborough version. Consider it an apology for subjecting you to that travesty." They ended up sending me the proper version and I gave the Oprah version to my brother, who immediately said, "Dude...the Oprah version? Really?"
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u/Sha-WING Aug 13 '14
You must hate your brother something fierce.
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u/Diiiiirty Aug 13 '14
It wasn't like a christmas gift or anything. It was a situation where he was at my apartment, we were talking about it, and I said, "Hey Amazon sent me two of these. You want this?"
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u/swank_sinatra Aug 13 '14
"Hey bro, want some dumb bullshit that you'll hate cuz I definitely do?"
"......yes."
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u/ernie1850 Aug 13 '14
Because whenever Oprah speaks, children around the world can understand, and be rid of their famine. When Oprah walks, the she leaves a path of gold in her wake. When Oprah smiles, the world smiles.
- quote from Oprah.
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u/grogleberry Aug 13 '14
It's not as if he has some weird regional accent or anything.
If we had to pick a voice to represent the English language it would be David Attenborough (with Morgan Freeman as a close second, of course).
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Aug 13 '14
attenborough is definitely up there, but i think the top "best english language voice" spot is a three-way tie.
i mean, if you made a tape of morgan freeman, jeremy irons, and alan rickman reading the phone book, it would be the number one best-selling therapeutic sleep aid ever.
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u/Lord_ThunderCunt Aug 13 '14
Seriously. Somebody message me when I can learn something from shark week again.
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u/cd1310 Aug 13 '14
but, but we love verne troyer right?
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u/joshclay Aug 13 '14
What if Verne Troyer came out and endorsed Comcast? Reddit would implode with mass confusion.
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Aug 13 '14
"Comcast has great customer service and Weird Al is overrated." - Verne Troyer
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u/joshclay Aug 13 '14
"Chris Pratt isn't very funny or handsome and I do all my shopping at Walmart while listening to Chris Brown on my Zune." - Verne Troyer
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u/TinyNuggins Aug 13 '14
Eh, we'd probably throw him under the bus immediately. As good as Reddit is at loving people, we're wayyy better at hating them.
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u/HebrewHamm3r Aug 13 '14
This is one of the best pictures on the internet since this one: http://i.imgur.com/xFrfTwK.jpg
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u/ratcranberries Aug 13 '14
Crab people.
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u/Cantripping Aug 13 '14
More like Jean Lobster Picard.
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u/IBoris Aug 13 '14
Jean-Luc Homard. He's french FFS.
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u/Cantripping Aug 13 '14
MAYBE IF I SPOKE FRENCH THAT WOULD HAVE OCCURRED TO ME BUT IT DIDN'T SO ENJOY YOUR UPVOTE FOR YOUR SUPERIOR COMMENT YOU SONOFABITCH.
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u/NothingISayIsReal Aug 13 '14
I always forget you're a regular poster! I need that costume for my nephew.
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u/beernerd Aug 13 '14
With Verne in it?
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u/NothingISayIsReal Aug 13 '14
Will it cost extra?
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u/beernerd Aug 13 '14
Yeah, he drinks all your Mountain Dew.
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Aug 13 '14
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u/BlindlyWatching Aug 13 '14
I was going to ask if OP was a little people... then I saw the user name... and I was like "vernnnnnnnne!"
Edit: forgot the last 'e' in Verne.
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u/n_reineke Aug 13 '14
_________ . .
(.. _ , | /|
0 /| / /
______ / | /
vvvv | / |
^^^^ == _/ |
`_ === . |
/ /_ / |
|/ _ | /
________/
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u/Shiftgood Aug 13 '14
Ah yes, bringing me back to my Digg.com days.
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u/JoeRuinsEverything Aug 13 '14 edited Aug 13 '14
Reddit before the big Digg.com redesign: Digg users and their Ascii art are so stupid.
Reddit now: Oh look, the same damn gifs in every thread.
How far we've come...
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u/FranktheShark Aug 13 '14
If you are a huge fan of Sharks we should go swimming sometime. I can show you around.
I promise not to eat you.
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Aug 13 '14
Any relation to Bob the shark? If you see him, punch him in the balls for me please thanks.
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u/pokethedeadkid Aug 13 '14
if discovery isn't paying you for this, they should be.
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Aug 13 '14
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u/rodrigogua Aug 13 '14
What happened yesterday?
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u/CockMeatSandwich Aug 13 '14
It was exposed that discovery was making shit up on their shows
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u/PolyComForYou Aug 13 '14
I got a little too excited about this picture
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u/StickleyMan Aug 13 '14
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u/conradical30 Aug 13 '14
always has something for everything
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u/chibolamoo Aug 13 '14
This is how I imagine /u/StickleyMan's brain but with gifs
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u/BrianDawkins Aug 13 '14
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u/accdodson Aug 13 '14
HEY EVERYONE, /U/BRIANDAWKINS IS A BRONY
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u/brickmack Aug 13 '14
Said the person who identified a non-pony character from the show. I bet you've got a room full of spike plushies
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u/mcholliwood Aug 13 '14
Verne, I really have to say it's extremely refreshing to see a very well-known, and highly successful celebrity like yourself being active on here. I can't speak for the Reddit community as a whole but I sure as hell appreciate your posts.
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u/Kennie_B Aug 13 '14
Can someone please explain to me everyone's fascination with Shark Week. To me it seems to be a herd mentality type of well, everyone else is doing it so it must be cool.
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u/malaihi Aug 13 '14
Haha. You always surprise me Vern! The only reddit celebrity that regularly drops buy to kick it with the regular folk... :) haha. You da man!
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Aug 14 '14
I really don't mean to be an insensitive prick or anything, but...
Verne Troyer.
Warwick Davis.
Peter Dinklage.
Do these names not sound vaguely Gnomish naturally to anyone else? It's uncanny to me. Again, I really don't mean to be a dick at all.
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u/ketchuppacket Aug 13 '14
Sometimes I wish I was a little person so I could wear childrens costumes.
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u/hillbillygoat Aug 13 '14
Do you have that costume specifically for shark week? Do you have any others?
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u/bruce656 Aug 13 '14
The post went from 10350 upvotes to 6300 upvotes. What happened.
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u/C0SMIC_PLAGU3 Aug 13 '14
Every fucking time you post I get so confused until I look at your username.
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u/Klimu Aug 13 '14
why do you enjoy shark week? it's sensationalized anti-scientific junk
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u/sonickarma Aug 13 '14
I keep forgetting that Vern is a redditor.
Every one of his posts is a pleasant surprise.
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u/Jahuteskye Aug 13 '14
It looks like you're surprisingly happy about being eaten by a shark.