r/dadjokes • u/Secure-Improvement35 • 1h ago
Dad bod
I don’t have a dad bod. It’s a father figure
r/dadjokes • u/everybodyspapa • 18m ago
You can drown the girl ants but not the boy ants
They float.
That's how they got out of Antarctica and took over the world.
r/dadjokes • u/ridgeback506413 • 57m ago
Where does a tree live?
1) Oak-la-homa 2) A Tree-house
Ben (7 yrs)
r/dadjokes • u/ilikesidehugs • 10h ago
I told my wife a dad joke every day of her pregnancy.
Unfortunately, our son was born with severe sigh defects.
r/dadjokes • u/recXion_ • 17h ago
Which country has the largest number of parks in the world?
Korea. As a matter of fact, I’m good friends with five of them.
r/dadjokes • u/berkleysquare • 8h ago
What do you call a line of guys waiting for a haircut?
A barber-queue
r/dadjokes • u/Danwd40 • 13h ago
A couple of days ago I called opticians for an appointment. She said "wednesday 2:30?"
I said "No, eye hurty". She didn't find it as funny as I did. True story unfortunately.
r/dadjokes • u/Realistic-Twist-3112 • 18h ago
It's a five minute walk from my house to the bar, but a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house.
The difference is staggering.
r/dadjokes • u/bourbonpens • 11h ago
Secret Service Will no longer yell “get down!”
Now the will shout “Donald, duck!”
r/dadjokes • u/dickcheney600 • 10h ago
My friend tried to sync his smart phone to his Kia that he rented. It didn't work. He was about to contact tech support, but realized it would be pointless.
Because his phone was a NoKia
r/dadjokes • u/66Spintax • 13h ago
What do you call someone selling eyeglasses in the furthest reaches of Alaska?
An optical Aleutian.
r/dadjokes • u/Exercise-Radiant • 8h ago
Did you hear they made an Italian version of “It” the Clown?
They call him Penne-Wise.
r/dadjokes • u/ilikesidehugs • 7h ago
I was worried running over a troop of Girl Scouts would ruin my driving record.
Luckily, I just got a few Brownie points.
r/dadjokes • u/lonely_island2974 • 12h ago
I said to the lifeguard, “I almost drowned and you did nothing to save me. What did I ever do to you?”
He replied, "Bro, it's not that deep."
r/dadjokes • u/MyGlitteris • 4h ago
Why do farmers let horses sleep in the field?
Because it's pasture bed time
r/dadjokes • u/Azmaniacle • 6h ago
Why did the onion go to therapy?
It had too many layers of issues to peel back
r/dadjokes • u/Realistic-Twist-3112 • 4h ago
I hate spelling errors.
You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.
r/dadjokes • u/Masselein • 3h ago
When it comes to telling dad jokes, taller people do it best.
They have a sighs advantage.
r/dadjokes • u/thisDiff • 22h ago
My son picked up a thick book and asked why does this have so many pages?
I replied “Well, that’s a long story…”
My best work!
r/dadjokes • u/MrHawkeye69 • 8h ago
What do you call Mickey Mouse's unknown grandmother?
A Nana Mouse.
r/dadjokes • u/scottdog33 • 21h ago
Some one asked me what the ninth letter of the alphabet was....
It was a complete guess but I was right!
r/dadjokes • u/Gogglespaisan0 • 9h ago
Why was the pasta locked out of the house???
Because he had gnocchi
r/dadjokes • u/yongrii • 3h ago
French fries aren’t made in France
They’re made in Greece