r/dadjokes 5m ago

Where do conquering herons buy sexy underwear?

Upvotes

Victorious egret


r/dadjokes 36m ago

Where does a tree live?

Upvotes

1) Oak-la-homa 2) A Tree-house

Ben (7 yrs)


r/dadjokes 1h ago

Dad bod

Upvotes

I don’t have a dad bod. It’s a father figure


r/dadjokes 1h ago

What follows holy shit?

Upvotes

Royal flush.


r/dadjokes 2h ago

Well, to be frank..

5 Upvotes

i'll have to change my name


r/dadjokes 2h ago

French fries aren’t made in France

9 Upvotes

They’re made in Greece


r/dadjokes 3h ago

When it comes to telling dad jokes, taller people do it best.

13 Upvotes

They have a sighs advantage.


r/dadjokes 3h ago

What do you call a terrorist selling ice?

3 Upvotes

An iceist!


r/dadjokes 3h ago

It’s hard to explain how I know when I’m about to have diarrhea.

4 Upvotes

I just get a gut feeling about it.


r/dadjokes 3h ago

What do you call a line of criminals waiting for fruit juice?

7 Upvotes

A bad punch line


r/dadjokes 4h ago

I hate spelling errors.

16 Upvotes

You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.


r/dadjokes 4h ago

My wife showed me an incredible book

0 Upvotes

It's a book of Dad jokes in haiku format. I thought you all might appreciate this

DADKUS: Dad Jokes in Haiku Form https://a.co/d/5il9ThE


r/dadjokes 4h ago

Someone in this sub asked me what my favorite type of lunch meat is.

9 Upvotes

According to rule 9, I can't answer honestly.


r/dadjokes 4h ago

What's the difference between Iron Man and his father?

8 Upvotes

It's a pretty Stark contrast if you ask me.


r/dadjokes 4h ago

Why do farmers let horses sleep in the field?

28 Upvotes

Because it's pasture bed time


r/dadjokes 4h ago

Why do Icebears and Penguins not get along?

2 Upvotes

Because they're polar opposites


r/dadjokes 4h ago

someone told me "make yourself comfy!"

0 Upvotes

...so i comfy made a replica of myself


r/dadjokes 5h ago

Let's discuss about Titanic's wreck records

0 Upvotes

¿Do you mean the Wreckords?


r/dadjokes 5h ago

What’s a pole vaulter’s favorite type of music?

0 Upvotes

Rock ‘n Pole!!!


r/dadjokes 5h ago

Why did 69 hate golfing with 70?

15 Upvotes

70 won 70 to 73


r/dadjokes 6h ago

Why do farmers plant onions on the perimeter of their cornfields?

0 Upvotes

To keep elephants out and it works! Have you ever seen an elephant in a cornfield?


r/dadjokes 6h ago

Why did the onion go to therapy?

28 Upvotes

It had too many layers of issues to peel back


r/dadjokes 7h ago

How do alligators adjust the central heating?

0 Upvotes

By using the crocodile.!


r/dadjokes 7h ago

Since the city was founded in 1873, citizens of Yuma, Arizona have reported feelings of restlessness and malaise - a nagging sense that the true meaning of life has passed them by

13 Upvotes

Philosophers call it the Yuman Condition.


r/dadjokes 7h ago

I was worried running over a troop of Girl Scouts would ruin my driving record.

51 Upvotes

Luckily, I just got a few Brownie points.