r/dadjokes • u/ilikesidehugs • 6h ago
I told my wife a dad joke every day of her pregnancy.
Unfortunately, our son was born with severe sigh defects.
r/dadjokes • u/recXion_ • 13h ago
Which country has the largest number of parks in the world?
Korea. As a matter of fact, I’m good friends with five of them.
r/dadjokes • u/berkleysquare • 5h ago
What do you call a line of guys waiting for a haircut?
A barber-queue
r/dadjokes • u/Realistic-Twist-3112 • 14h ago
It's a five minute walk from my house to the bar, but a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house.
The difference is staggering.
r/dadjokes • u/Danwd40 • 9h ago
A couple of days ago I called opticians for an appointment. She said "wednesday 2:30?"
I said "No, eye hurty". She didn't find it as funny as I did. True story unfortunately.
r/dadjokes • u/bourbonpens • 8h ago
Secret Service Will no longer yell “get down!”
Now the will shout “Donald, duck!”
r/dadjokes • u/dickcheney600 • 6h ago
My friend tried to sync his smart phone to his Kia that he rented. It didn't work. He was about to contact tech support, but realized it would be pointless.
Because his phone was a NoKia
r/dadjokes • u/66Spintax • 10h ago
What do you call someone selling eyeglasses in the furthest reaches of Alaska?
An optical Aleutian.
r/dadjokes • u/lonely_island2974 • 9h ago
I said to the lifeguard, “I almost drowned and you did nothing to save me. What did I ever do to you?”
He replied, "Bro, it's not that deep."
r/dadjokes • u/Exercise-Radiant • 4h ago
Did you hear they made an Italian version of “It” the Clown?
They call him Penne-Wise.
r/dadjokes • u/ilikesidehugs • 4h ago
I was worried running over a troop of Girl Scouts would ruin my driving record.
Luckily, I just got a few Brownie points.
r/dadjokes • u/thisDiff • 18h ago
My son picked up a thick book and asked why does this have so many pages?
I replied “Well, that’s a long story…”
My best work!
r/dadjokes • u/Azmaniacle • 2h ago
Why did the onion go to therapy?
It had too many layers of issues to peel back
r/dadjokes • u/scottdog33 • 17h ago
Some one asked me what the ninth letter of the alphabet was....
It was a complete guess but I was right!
r/dadjokes • u/MrHawkeye69 • 4h ago
What do you call Mickey Mouse's unknown grandmother?
A Nana Mouse.
r/dadjokes • u/MyGlitteris • 1h ago
Why do farmers let horses sleep in the field?
Because it's pasture bed time
r/dadjokes • u/lilmrynn • 11h ago
Some people wake up feeling like a million bucks
I wake up feeling like insufficient funds
r/dadjokes • u/saveme777 • 1d ago
I got a vasectomy, but my girlfriend still got pregnant.
Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the colour of the baby.
r/dadjokes • u/Gogglespaisan0 • 5h ago
Why was the pasta locked out of the house???
Because he had gnocchi
r/dadjokes • u/Realistic-Twist-3112 • 44m ago
I hate spelling errors.
You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.
r/dadjokes • u/drigana • 10h ago
Boy, I must have really ticked off the optometrist today. He said if I ever come back, I should have adult supervision.
But If I had adult super vision, why would I need an eye doctor?
r/dadjokes • u/awcmonrly • 4h ago
Since the city was founded in 1873, citizens of Yuma, Arizona have reported feelings of restlessness and malaise - a nagging sense that the true meaning of life has passed them by
Philosophers call it the Yuman Condition.
r/dadjokes • u/XROOR • 9h ago
META What do you call an Inuit’s house if it doesn’t have a bathroom?
Ig
r/dadjokes • u/staring_at_keyboard • 37m ago
What do you call a line of criminals waiting for fruit juice?
A bad punch line
r/dadjokes • u/Garrod_Ran • 23h ago
My son started talking to his pet rooster so I prohibited him to do so.
I don't want him to learn fowl language.