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u/MundaneKiwiPerson 18h ago
They are saying they are doing the big thing i.e. risk their life, but will they do the little things i.e clean up after themselves will they do basic chores.
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u/posthuman04 17h ago
They’re saying it’s not important enough to them that you have or will or would risk their life etc if you aren’t a useful roommate. Honestly I’d just leave her right there.
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u/veganbikepunk 17h ago
Well I have different needs out of a partner vs. a bodyguard. Needing basic assistance with minor shared responsibilities is a lot more likely to come up than a need for one of us to sacrifice our life.
And if someone wouldn't share basic daily responsibilities I strongly doubt their claim that they'd die for me, and there's no way to put that claim to the test in a way where both of us are alive to see if it is true.
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u/posthuman04 17h ago
My problem is that it is their reaction to the moment, that it wasn’t enough. Wouldn’t matter what you are doing or have done if you don’t do the thing they had in mind, you didn’t do enough. Go find a dishwasher I will find someone that appreciates me
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u/carrie_m730 17h ago
Super convenient that you'll catch a grenade for somebody but not do the dishes because one of those things she's actually likely to need.
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u/posthuman04 17h ago
The very short verbiage leaves a large question as to what is happening in the moment. The song itself indicates the woman he’s singing to doesn’t have the same commitment to him as he does to her. Using that as a starting point, if her reaction is to ask him to do the dishes, there’s still no commitment on her part.
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u/ProperWhore 17h ago
Maybe she has no commitment to him because she doesnt need a man to catch a grenade. She just needs one that cleans up after himself. 🤣
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u/carrie_m730 17h ago
Pro tip: "Id take a bullet for you" "id rope the moon for you" "I'd crawl across hot coals for you" and similar sentiments long outdate Bruno Mars.
The meme uses a line from his song, I guess, but the sentiment is much broader and my guess is that the person who originally posted doesn't only mean this one singy guy.
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u/posthuman04 17h ago
Is it really a pro tip?
Fellas, if she’s more worried about the dishes than you, gtfo
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u/carrie_m730 17h ago
Fellas, if you can't clean up after yourself, do her a favor and gtfo
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u/posthuman04 17h ago
Exactly, she even said it’s about the dishes and no it’s never going to end there’s never going to be enough you can do
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u/annabananaberry 16h ago
I mean I don’t get grenades lobbed at me daily but I definitely use dishes every day. I care a lot more about whether my life partner is willing to help with mundane chores than I do about them proclaiming that they’ll lay down their life for mine. If they’re not willing to help with the dishes why would I want to send my life or even an extended period of time with them?
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u/posthuman04 16h ago
“Without asking”. One person expressed their love and commitment and the other cuts them off to say they don’t anticipate her needs quickly enough. He needs to let her find that domestic servant.
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u/Colminius 18h ago
My guess is that this woman criticizes that some men tend to show their love by saying things like, big deeds they're open to do for their loved one, but don't show it as easilly in the small things of daily life.
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u/posthuman04 17h ago
Right but life is both big and small and the dishes or other small sweet little tasks you did without asking are the focus of the main character, not someone that cares about you.
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u/GiantSweetTV 17h ago
Starts doing the dishes joyfully
"Can you do the dishes?"
does the dishes, but now begrudgingly
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u/Syzygy___ 7h ago
"Can you do [the thing you're currently doing]?" is so infuriating to hear.
Like, there are plenty of other things I could and should be doing, but not only have you chosen a time to complain about me not doing things, where I am doing things, you've also chosen to complain about me not doing the activity that I'm currently doing.
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u/Quirky_Advantage_470 18h ago
I remember the first time we heard that sound and I turned to her and said I would not catch a grenade for you but I will help with the dishes. She thought about it and said I will take it.
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u/Mogster2K 17h ago
Really? Bruno Mars is too old for the kids now?
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u/fatDaddy21 14h ago
I've never heard a Bruno mars song in my life and this makes sense. I don't think ESL would even be an excuse not to get it...
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u/gavinjobtitle 18h ago
Men like to make big dramatic promises of what they would do for women. Usually something like dying or killing for them, but won't actually do any actual practical help of any sort in the real world.
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u/TheCaffeineMonster 9h ago
The most annoying part is how women ‘do the housework’ and men ‘help with the housework’. Insinuating that it’s not their job
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u/Whole_Acanthaceae385 17h ago
And those dramatic promises are usually just hypotheticals that will never happen.
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u/gamerdudeNYC 17h ago
How could someone not get this joke or is this just karma farming?
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u/starlight_collector 17h ago
I truly don't get it. English is not my first language, and I have never heard of this analogy.
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u/biffbobfred 13h ago
It’s a metaphor for how much you would do for someone. That you’d take a bullet for them.
The immediate reference is a song:
https://youtu.be/SR6iYWJxHqsCatch a grenade. Put hand on a blade. Jump in front of a train. Take a bullet (to the brain, in this song, need to rhyme). Die for you.
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u/-Yehoria- 17h ago
This is an infamous stereotype, largely based in reality, of men not noticing housework to be done, like dirty dishes, and expecting to be asked to do it.
I am myself guilty of this, despite identifying as a woman.
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u/SandalsResort 15h ago
It’s super common for men to have these fantastic about doing the toughest tasks for their partners, like punching a home invader or getting her out of a house fire (“slaying the dragon”), but not be interested in the smaller things like daily chores.
The joke is the song lyric Id catch a grenade for you would be met with, can you do the dishes
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u/unnamedUserAccount 17h ago
The unrealistic thing here is the continual expectation of your partner to do every thing you expect them to do with no communication effort on your end. (People don’t read minds and sometimes it’s good to just be straight forward with your needs and expectations)
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u/ProperWhore 17h ago
I think if your partner has to tell you to clean up after yourself, or if they're cleaning up most of the shared messes, you dont need to be mind reader to see that that's exhausting and unfair.
If you need to be told by your partner to do basic domestic tasks to keep YOUR SHARED living space clean, you have bigger issues.
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u/ObviousDoctor9726 7h ago
All domestic partners: do 100 things w/o needing to be asked
All domestic partners: need to be asked 1 or 2 things a week bc I dunno, brains are perfect
The internet: OH HELL NO GIRL
stfu internet
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u/ButterRolla 17h ago
Key of Awesome made a parody song about this ages ago. Bruno Mars Grenade PARODY! Key of Awesome #35!
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u/Important-Wrap-4004 17h ago
If they truly love me they wouldnt ask me to do the dishes. Ill do them when they need done
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u/Itsanukelife 17h ago
It's easy to die for someone.
What's harder is living every day, always bettering yourself and accomplishing your goals for someone.
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u/Crazy-Crazy-3593 16h ago
I never do hear the people who died for someone saying it was easy, but then again, I guess they wouldn't be inclined to admit it.
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u/Dimirinaxxx 17h ago
Catching grenades is easy, now, if only doing dishes required the same heroics!
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u/biffbobfred 13h ago
When this song came out me and my wife kinda had this discussion.
“I’ll catch a grenade for ya” wait you just want your arms blown off so you don’t need to take out the trash….
Snark aside, people underestimate how much work the day in day out grind is. Every day just try to be happy, try not to take what your partner says personally, try to make your day and their day a little better. That takes a tremendous amount of effort. And unless you live in like 3 or 4 active war zones in the world, that “hey check out this drama” grenade catching ain’t all that necessary. Can you do the grind?
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u/hilvon1984 12h ago
If you ask a man to "do the dishes" he will naturally get confused - dishes tend to not have a hole.
So try to be more specific. Like "wash the dishes" or "put the dishes into a dishwasher".
And in case of a dishwasher - if the dishwasher is filled with previous dishes but you didn't specify the expectation to empty out the dishwasher first a man might consider the dishwasher to already be at capacity and stop putting the dishes in.
And sure - some men do this as "weapon used incompetence". But majority are actually incompetent when it comes to housekeeping, and they need learning how things are done. It is absolutely not your obligation to teach them, but if you do want them to learn - remember the importance of feedback. If all they hear is negative feedback, they only learn to avoid those things. If you want them to actually learn something - accept there will be mistakes. A lot of mistakes at first. And you have to show patience.
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u/talhahtaco 10h ago
People tend to not do dishes when they should
Source : me, I am the person who doesn't do the dishes they should
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u/LargeHardonCollider_ 9h ago
Well, I mean, doing the dishes is a completely different story. I'm sure you understand that.
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u/AdBeautiful9489 7h ago
Feminists of reddit call it "weaponized incompetence" I think. It's a made up term reffering to their worldview where men should be housewives and wash the dishes, vacuum etc. If he can't or doesn't know how to - boom. Weaponized incompetence. If he knows how to but you need to tell him to do it/He doesn't do it on his own - boom. Weaponized incompetence
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u/AhmedAbuGhadeer 7h ago
I am a protector, not a handmaid. Responsible for your safety, not your comfort.
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u/SalamandersRreal 6h ago
“I’d die for you” that’s easy to say - We have a list of people that we would take - A bullet for them, a bullet for you - A bullet for everybody in this room - But I don’t seem to see many bullets coming through - See many bullets coming through - Metaphorically, I’m the man - But literally, I don’t know what I’d do”
Ride by Twenty One Pilots
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u/Vogelsucht 6h ago
this reminds me of something I heard last week.
When people say "i'd die for you"
I always ask myself. wouldnt it be more valuable to say "i'd live for you"? because dying is easy but to stop smoking/drinking and to get in shape is much more valuable than just "die" for someone. the speaking doesnt make sense in today's settings
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u/mungosDoo 6h ago
There was a pop song in serbia in the 90 that basically reverses this.
In the song the female singers go on about romantic ideas of walking through fire barefoot or moving mountains to prove their love with guys just interrupting with "But would you wash our underpants."
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u/N3onDr1v3 5h ago
Yep i was planning on it after my show finished. But now you've said that i'm not going to.
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u/Elrecoal19-0 5h ago
Nope, but that's because the idea wouldn't come to mind even if it was my own dishes and I was alone.
Oh, the explanation is people like to talk about hypotetical life-or-death scenarios, meanwhile most don't even act for small daily life scenarios
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u/Key-Software4390 5h ago
What i would give to hear, "let me do that for you" instead of, "oh uh do you need any help with that?" Mid way through...
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u/captainspacetraveler 17h ago
I go out of my way to do household chores for my partner. And was actually broken up with because of HOW I did dishes… think I dodged bullet on that one
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u/Mission-Storm-4375 18h ago
Would she wait for you to finish eating before getting impatient about it though
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u/pleesugmie 16h ago
The joke is that Husbands love displaying their affection in grand gestures, but stubbornly refuse to complete simple requests like menial chores, despite them being much easier and straight forward than the grand displays of affection they love to engage in.
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u/Sinphony_of_the_nite 18h ago
It's from a Bruno Mars song where one lyric is "I'll catch a grenade for you"
The joke is that if a person seriously means that about someone, then they should do minor chores around the house without being prompted by their significant other.