r/asktransgender • u/JustAvaXP • 1d ago
So is this the female experience?
So I'm 21f I've recently moved and I've started going on walks and two separate times within the few times I've gone walking the first time this guy honks at me as I'm going on the opposite side then turns around asks if I want a ride I tell him no and he asks again and I say no and walk away and then he leaves and comes back to ask for my number the second time the guy in a pickup truck drives past me honks and I keep walking and he kept going past but I noticed he stopped a little bit away and honked more and I keep walking having a creeping suspicion he's going to come back and sure enough he drives past me pulls into a driveway in reverse and stares at me for a second and I'm kinda just like walking and I feel like REALLY uncomfortable at this point but luckily he just drove past me again so is this how the average female experience?
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u/rapt2right 1d ago
Yep. That checks out as depressingly normal. Crap like that started for me when I was 11 and peaked in frequency in my late teens (now, in my 50s, it's rare but STILL happens now & then). I'm sorry you're experiencing it. It's scary and gross and it can be really hard to not wonder "what did I do to invite that?". If you are having thoughts like that, the answer is nothing. You simply had the audacity to exist in a public place and for some assholes, that's all a girl or woman needs to do to be seen as available.
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u/Regular_Rip_7984 MtF 🏳️⚧️ 5/13/24 1d ago edited 21h ago
geez that's awful, sounds about right though (im mtf too but just speaking off friends' experiences). I had my first experience like that recently since I'm only 8 months in and had some creepy ass old dudes staring me down while I walked in to pick up a DoorDash order, I just kept my head down and thank god they didn't say anything to me, instead they just stopped talking amongst themselves to check me out.. in a sense, it was validating seeing as it was my first time being misogynised, but I can see how that would get very old and uncomfortable quick. that sounds awful and if that happens again to you I'd seriously threaten to call the police and/or buy self defense tools like mace. best of luck out there girl 🩷
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u/SiteRelEnby she/they, pansexual nonbinary transfemme engiqueer 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yeah, it does happen. /r/ewphoria
If someone is in a vehicle, take a photo of their number plate and send it to someone you trust.
Also, get a pepper spray, and a practice canister. Practice how you would draw and use it with the practice canister and a friend. If you are in a mental, emotional, and financial situation where it makes sense for you, consider getting armed (/r/transguns).
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u/ah_burning_passsion 19h ago
Better yet get a gun a gun will deter any man
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u/SiteRelEnby she/they, pansexual nonbinary transfemme engiqueer 18h ago
So, what I just recommended?
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u/ah_burning_passsion 18h ago
I mean bigger the gun the bigger the man you can take down think like a bear you need a 454 no more man
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u/StudyDelicious9090 1d ago
Yeah. I (mtf) don't even wear makeup or dress femininely outside of work, and this crap still happens despite being in my mid-30's. It's so gross. Like no, I'm not going to have sex with you just because you, a random stranger, propositioned me for it. The gall, I swear.
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u/Prestigious-Day759 1d ago
Something similar happened to me around my neighborhood that I've lived at all my life. I was walking my dog and this guy on a bike was riding on the sidewalk in the opposite direction. I decided to move out of his way and onto the street to let him pass. Less than 10 seconds later, he came up from behind me and I yielded way again to let him pass. Again, seconds later he turned around where I couldn't see him and passed by again. As I kept walking, 10-15 seconds, he came up from behind me again. At this point, I obviously knew something was up, he was looking at me but never said anything. I turned the corner and now I'm on a main street. He passes by me again and now I was thinking about saying something to him but I didn't want to confront him if I didn't have to. Seconds later, he passes by again. Once he was out of sight, I decided to run back into the neighborhood turning down random streets and checking to make sure that he didn't see me. I ran for about 5 mins to lose him, which I did. It's crazy because I'm able to see 1-2 sex offenders in my immediate neighborhood on the Crime app but I was walking right next to an elementary school where I thought would be a safe place at 10:30am and the school was in session. Guess not...About a week or so after this incident, I was walking on the same main street at night and there's an area of the street where the sidewalk narrows and there's a railing in front of a small business, maybe another school or something?. As I was walking, I noticed the silhouette of a man standing in the middle of that railing facing me and not moving to let me pass. He wasn't a pedestrian, it was 8:30pm and the business was closed, nobody else was around. I had to walk into the street with cars passing by only a few feet away to pass him. I didn't make eye contact, but as I glanced over, he was staring at me and only moved out of the way right when I passed him. Clearly, this was intentional but fortunately nothing happened. I've never walked in that part of my neighborhood again. You're not alone, I'm thinking this is more common that you think. I'm sorry you had to go through this!
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u/CW5353 1d ago
yes, this is a female experience. They can’t help themselves get used to it summer chasers and sandwiches being men. We don’t need them. They need us except if you wanna have a baby, but you can always get sperm from sperm donation place if you actually have the ability to do that. Good luck on your journey.
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u/Upper_Pie_6097 1d ago
Welcome to the misogynistic world of self-entitled men being dicks. All women have experienced this to on degree or another.
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u/Artistic-Wrangler955 22h ago
Yes this is what happens to attractive young females. I am a cis woman, now 68 and gray, but the misogyny began when I was a young adolescent. In addition to cat calls, some guy exposed himself, and, in Italy, I got groped at age 11. ( just as Trump brags). My advice is don’t make eye contact, try to walk away. Pepper spray is a good idea, but the poster who mentioned weapon made me nervous. I guess that depends on where you live. All this stops when you get older, then you miss your pretty young self. Good luck
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u/dr3am_assassin 1d ago
This is reminding me I need to be careful these days. We’re in Trump era and the last thing I want to do is embarrass a man with an ego in front of his buddy because he thought a “man” was sexy enough to pick up. Things could go a lot more sour than this story. Sorry you had to deal with this at all though, OP 😔
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u/TropicalFish-8662 trans woman, HRT 05/2023 1d ago
I guess it's the "young, attractive female" experience. I haven't experienced anything like that, but I'm plus-sized and almost 50.
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u/michstevious 20h ago
Unfortunately it is. It's definitely scary when you are alone. You never know what some of these men will do. I'm sorry you experienced it, but be aware it will happen again. Always carry some sort of protection that's legal where ever you are from (ie pepper spray, taser)
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u/ResortMore 26 he/him 💉oct 18 2022 🔪dec 19 2024 1d ago
This is what folks call “Ewwphoria” unfortunately it’s a common experience for female/femme folks I’m sorry you had to experience that, it can be scary.