r/AskReddit Jul 13 '15

What socially unacceptable things are you OK with?

8.4k Upvotes

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2.7k

u/dinosaurwithatophat_ Jul 13 '15 edited Jul 13 '15

Not sure if it's unacceptable but striking up a conversation with a stranger. This happend to me last week on campus and it was very nice. It seems to me that many people rather stay in their own bubble and prefer to be on their phone if they don't know anyone.

(Edit: I never said that I approach people, just that I think it's nice. Also 'hating' a person you don't know is a bit over the top for having an opinion you don't share)

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u/Crown4King Jul 13 '15

It really depends where the person is from I think. I met a cute Ukrainian girl at my train station last week, she accidentally bought the wrong ticket and asked me a question. We then spent the next 45 minutes talking and sitting next to each other, traded information and the hugged when we hard to go our ways... It's nice to meet people.

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u/orange_blanket Jul 13 '15

Did u have a Freudian slip by saying "hard" instead of "had"

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u/Crown4King Jul 13 '15

Probably

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u/Harbltron Jul 14 '15

"I hope she doesn't feel my boner... or do I? Shit. What is the procedure here"

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u/JohnnyBratwurst Jul 14 '15

Stranger Boners: A Memoir

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u/OldTimeyPugilist Jul 14 '15

Invading her like Putin probably isn't the way to go.

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u/kjata Jul 13 '15

Ah, Freudian slips. When you say one thing but mean your mother.

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u/MrStigglesworth Jul 14 '15

This works better when spoken, but well played.

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u/Bot12391 Jul 13 '15

How do people even notice things like this?

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u/orange_blanket Jul 13 '15

I'm really tired so I can't read as fast as I usually do. He also said "the" hugged instead of "then" hugged

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u/weirdoone Jul 14 '15

What do you mean? It strikes my eyes when I read it. I saw that word "hard" the moment I read it, and my first thought was "this is some freudian slip irony shit". Then saw the comment and giggled as someone is thinking just like me.

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u/freudian_nipple_slip Jul 14 '15

It could be another kind of slip

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u/Piece_Maker Jul 14 '15

Just the tip.

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u/Nix-geek Jul 13 '15

...and where you live. People in different areas have different levels of acceptance when it comes to random public talking. It is much more acceptable where I'm at now, and it took me a bit to get used to the random person behind me in line just blurting something out loud and expecting me to be paying attention.

It makes me smile, now.

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u/Crown4King Jul 13 '15

I'm from New York, it's totally a mixed bag. People will be total dick heads when something is a problem in the slightest to them, but then there's a sense of bonding at certain points. Like, there was a small fire in a building down the road from where I work in the City, and at least 100 people were just standing by, watching and talking with each other as if watching the fire department work is just another form of entertainment.

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u/Alagane Jul 13 '15

Based on what I've heard from tourists and travelers, people from the US generally are more open to striking up a conversation than a lot of other places. And people from the south are more likely than northerners.

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u/TheseMenArePrawns Jul 13 '15

Size of an area matters a lot as well. The smallest towns I've lived in or near were pretty much gossip mills no matter where they were located. Unfamiliar faces got chatted up pretty quick.

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u/Crown4King Jul 13 '15

Good old southern hospitality

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

[deleted]

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u/Crown4King Jul 13 '15

Agreed, once the ice is broken it's so much easier...

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u/bobthejeffmonkey Jul 14 '15

Or if you can properly segway.

"Hey you know when the next train to wherever is?"

"Nah but I got a segway if you want a ride there"

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

So when's the wedding?

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u/my_cat_joe Jul 14 '15

Long distance train travel is great for this. I'm an insomniac, so overnight on a train would be hell, but I just head to the dining car with a deck of cards. It only takes a few hands of solitaire before you're playing poker or rummy with some stranger. I've met some great people that way. No regrets.

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u/Jay_Bonk Jul 13 '15

hard to go our own ways I am sure you were hard

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u/SpacePirate003 Jul 14 '15

Ukrainian girls. The only female strangers that have ever talked to me like we were best pals have been Ukrainian girls. How do I know? Because we became good friends afterwards. Is Ukraine like European Canada?

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Meeting people on planes and trains is my absolute favorite

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

I feel like you have a chance with her.

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u/Finsternis Jul 14 '15

Europe is very different in this way. It's far more common for strangers to interact. Especially in situations such as trains and restaurants.

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u/Crown4King Jul 14 '15

Funny thing is that she was all smiley, but during out conversation she mentioned how Russians and Ukrainians don't smile very much unless they're actually happy. (Good sign?)

She ask that they'd rather not use those facial muscles for no reason haha.

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

This is an every day occurrence in Alabama.

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

That sounds fantastically pleasant.

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

How was the sex?

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

North Americans tend to have much more of a shield up about that sort of thing than people in other countries.

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u/Ridry Jul 14 '15

I'm from NY and I'll talk to lost tourists all the time on the train. If another NYer tries to talk to me they must be nuts though...

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u/_crackling Jul 13 '15

I have zero problems striking up conversation with strangers if it's clear you or your group of friends are just chillin. Otherwise I respect the fact that you're probably busy and don't need the interupption.

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u/Crown4King Jul 13 '15

Strength in numbers!

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

On the contrary though, I know lots of people and don't want to talk to any of them most of the time or any strangers for that matter. And no I'm not real selfish or cynical, I just don't wanna talk about nothing for a few minutes.

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u/GRCA Jul 14 '15

Yeah, I'll accept strangers talking to me on the condition that they accept me trying to get out of the conversation as soon as possible.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

As long as you aren't asking about my charitable contributions or relationship with Jesus Christ I'm totally fine with it.

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u/Zukuni Jul 13 '15

Aperantly this isn't something that happens a whole lot outside of the US.

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u/Srirachafarian Jul 13 '15

Or even a lot of places in the US. When I moved from Texas to DC, I swear people thought I was trying to mug them all the time. In Texas it's perfectly normal to say hi to someone who's standing on the corner waiting for the light to change with you.

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u/joegrizzyII Jul 14 '15

Oklahoman checking in.

If you are driving in a small town, and you don't give a wave to every passing car, you are basically an asshole.

You have to even address the strangers you can't even talk to.

Like, seriously, every. single. driver. waves.

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u/losnalgenes Jul 13 '15

I live in NC and its similar to Texas here. If your standing next to someone on the corner your going to be asked "How's it goin?"

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Moved from CT to AZ. I'm sure at first I gave plenty of weird looks to people who were just trying to be friendly, and I thought they were trying to get something from me. Most people in CT mind their own business (at least in my experience).

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u/eskaza Jul 14 '15

I miss Texas. I moved to a small island in the Caribbean and everyone knows each other. They all say "Good Day" or "Good Night" when you pass them. I've decided I'm going to do that everywhere I go. Except maybe like New York City. It's kind of hard to acknowledge every passerby when there are thousands of them.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

In the UK it's considered a bit weird, maybe even rude. I do it on occasion, though usually only when I'm drunk.

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u/markfitzfritzel Jul 13 '15

May I ask where you live? Because up in the north I wouldn't say it was considered weird or rude at all

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

I commute to and from London, the least friendly place in the UK.

I used to be a village lad from Hampshire that'd say "Good mornin'" every day. Now I'm more likely to push people over to get off of the tube in the morning. London really has an unpleasant effect on people. Not that I care, if my time in London has taught me anything, they'd all do it back to me without hesitation. I can't tell if I dislike commuters or tourists more.

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u/markfitzfritzel Jul 13 '15

I assumed you were going to mention London or at least the south.

I am from and live in Liverpool and I've seen numerous articles,1 quite recently, in the Echo (local city newspaper ) that Liverpool was voted the 3rd most friendly city in Europe (or something to that effect).

The few times I've visited the capital I've found a lot of people to be quite unfriendly.

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u/mexispain Jul 13 '15

Pretty sure it's a southern thing. I'm from Bath and it'd be weird for me too, although I am a bit of a hermit.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

Definitely, London isn't friendly at all. I don't think I've been to a worse place in terms of that yet. But, one upside of London is that nobody cares about you.

I grew up near a town in Hampshire in a small village. Whenever I went to the town it felt unfriendly, but unlike London, people did care. They cared enough to start trouble over it for no reason. Working in London is lovely in that regard. Nobody cares. Nobody cares if you look different, act different, or generally don't give a fuck. In smaller places they do, probably because the town is a much tighter community in comparison (80k people means you're barely 3 degrees of separation from everyone else from my experience).

I have heard good things about Liverpool though!

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u/TheHardWorkingIngo Jul 13 '15

It's normal up here? Thank God I never go outside.

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u/JimmyT91 Jul 13 '15

Yeah with you on that one. I'll do it sometimes sitting on a train home after a beer or two and people are just like 'dafuqs wrong with this guy?' And if its a girl, first thing they do is drop their boyfriend into the conversation because clearly you're only making conversation to try and get into their pants. British people just wanna be left alone I guess.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

That's pretty much my experience too. I usually back off if people aren't interested. I'm only talking because commuting home is dull and now I'm probably too drunk to operate my phone, DS, or laptop.

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u/icanteatoxtailsoup Jul 13 '15

I usually back off if people aren't interested

This is the only thing I ask for. I quite often enjoy having someone initiate conversation with me, as long as people respect a polite "no" when I don't feel like talking. I've had people pick up on the fact that I didn't want to talk before I even spoke up about it, and I've had people go in a huff with me when I politely said I wanted to be alone (although that could have been because I was wearing my retail uniform in public before my shift. Hate to break it to you dude, but when I'm off the clock, I don't owe you shit.) I have no beef whatsoever with people like you because you don't act like you're entitled to my time.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

It's just common decency really. I generally love it if someone wants to talk, and if they don't I'll probably come here (never text friends when drunk...) When sober I usually don't want to talk since I'm busy working on the train, though it has happened.

This does lead me to think that the whole "Brits don't like to talk to strangers thing" is a bit manufactured. It doesn't seem that way most of the time.

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u/AnthonyG23 Jul 13 '15

... How do people meet potential GF's of BF's?

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

From my own life and lives of those i know;

  • internet
  • work
  • university
  • friends of friends

Those are the most common, only my grandad meets women on public transport. Though... He has had about 20 girlfriends and two fiancees in the last 5 years, most much younger than him, so he is doing well for himself.

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u/Endur Jul 13 '15

I was at a bar and had a 30 min conversation with an acquaintance, bought him a drink too. I realized an hour later that he wasn't the person I thought he was and I didn't know him at all

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u/JohnDsk Jul 13 '15

Yup, in Sweden that would make most people uncomfortable. Unless alcohol is involved.

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u/losnalgenes Jul 13 '15

It's weird not to talk to strangers in the US.

Also, how the hell do bars and clubs work in the rest of the world then? People go to them to talk to strangers. . .

Well not a bar always, I'll go and chill with my friends, but we'll strike up a conversation with anyone who sits by us. Doubly so when people take smoke breaks, its a free for all then.

Its more unusual in somewhere like supermarkets, but by no means socially unacceptable in my opinion. (USA)

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u/que_pedo_wey Jul 14 '15

Probably it is, but limited to high-context cultures.

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u/twinnedcalcite Jul 14 '15

Extremely common to talk to random people in Canada.

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u/Babyelephantstampy Jul 14 '15

From Mexico City here, it would be weird as hell and, depending on the circumstances (time, place, what have you) it can even make people grow alert. This doesn't seem to be the case in smaller cities though.

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u/LaskaBear Jul 13 '15

I'm from the south. It is perfectly acceptable to approach someone and just start talking. Like standing in line? Fuck it talk to the person next to you.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

I love it. Makes running errands more fun if you can chat with someone while in line at the grocery store.

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u/jollyoriface Jul 13 '15

I love talking to strangers, all they are is friends you haven't made yet!

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u/wen_but Jul 13 '15 edited Jul 13 '15

See, I'd prefer people not to speak to me if I'm alone, because I get really awkward. But if somebody strikes up a conversation, I'll be happy to talk Edit: not, not bot

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u/QUiXiLVER25 Jul 13 '15

I'm from an area where almost everybody is willing to stike up some talk. I've traveled places not too far from here where people want absolutely nothing to do with you. Won't even acknowledge a comment. Just glares.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

I live in Baltimore. White people here keep their heads down and never talk to strangers unless they have some reason to. Black people, on the other hand, will say "good morning", offer comments on the situation, and talk about (your and their) life to random strangers at any time. It's lovely and I wish everyone did it.

It would also be cool if there were some little accessory you could wear around as a universal signal of "I like talking to strangers", so we could find each other without bothering the antisocial people. Then everyone wins!

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u/joegrizzyII Jul 14 '15

I used to notice the black guys around OKC, no matter where I was, would always give each other the "What's up, brother?" followed by a cool handshake.

I just thought "Wow, like every single black person knows every other single black person."

It honestly took me a while to realize they didn't know each other, they were honestly just being nice to strangers.

People talk about white people hating other races and shit.

Nah, white people just generally don't like anyone. We don't do that shit with each other. Even fucking country club members talk shit about one another. The worst thing I hear about "white privilege" is the idea that if you are white you are magically in this club where everyone else who is white just welcomes you with open arms.

Ya, that's just not the way it is. We hate each other, we just ignore minorities.

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u/tonycomputerguy Jul 13 '15

Man, I don't wanna get racist here, but I wonder if all white parents have that same talk with their kids... "If you're in a bad neighborhood, keep your head down, don't look anyone in the eye, and walk with purpose... otherwise you'll get mugged."

At least, that's what I was told by my racist white father who was born and raised in downtown Detroit.

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u/Roast_A_Botch Jul 14 '15

Your father gave you horrible advice. Looking at the ground is a sign of weakness and submission and makes you an easy target if someone had those intentions. Avoiding eye contact is the same, don't stare people down(it's seen as a challenge), but acknowledge that you're aware of them. It's pretty rare for a random white person to get mugged in the city. They're much more likely to hit dope dealers, pimps, or rival gang members.

I grew up in a very rough neighborhood and been to prison so this is just based on what I've learned from those situations.

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u/AutonomyForbidden Jul 13 '15

I do this on a fairly regular basis. In line at the store..Maybe im out for a good walk and someone is walking the same way I am. Maybe im talking to random parents at the park while my daughter plays. It is fun. My S/O thinks its weird. I tell her, Hey whats wrong with being a friendly guy?

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

I agree, on a 2 hour plane ride up to Boston I talked to the guy the next to me the whole time. We talked about everything and it was great to talk to a stranger and hear there opinions and experiences.

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u/The_Number_None Jul 13 '15

My friends look at me like I'm crazy because I'll talk to any old lady walking down the street. Making an old lady laugh with some corny witty joke is the highlight of my day. It's nice to see those wrinkly frowns turn upside down.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

In Canada, well at least in my province, it's awkward when you DON'T strike up a random conversation while standing next to somebody. I'm always making some sort of small talk, even if it's just about the weather, lol.

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u/hegartymorgan Jul 13 '15

Here in Ireland, you could pretty much chat to anyone

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u/owenmpowell Jul 13 '15

I do that pretty often. It usually goes pretty well, and I feel a little better for the rest of the day!

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u/BEALLOJO Jul 13 '15

The problem with this comes along when people just don't take social cues. I've had many a quality conversation with friendly strangers, but some people that try to do this really don't know how to shut up when a stranger inevitably just doesn't want to talk to them.

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u/ATCaver Jul 13 '15

During my short stint at my local community college I decided I wasn't going to be a loner like I am normally.

I dressed nice (khakisslacks, waistcoat, tie) every day and always smiled at people. I would sit out in the quad or in the life center reading a book, watching games of chess or Smash or ping pong, and generally making myself known.

It was incredible the response I got. People would ask what I was reading (usually All Quiet On The Western Front or a sci-fi book), invite me to join their game, or just strike up a conversation.

I really do regret dropping out sometimes.

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u/BrendenOTK Jul 13 '15

My only issue is that you never know who you're talking to and if you like talking with strangers, you should be able to recognize whether or not a person wants to have a conversation.

I was at a cafe the other day and the barista had a friend by the counter and they were chatting between customers. While the barista was making my drink her friend started some small talk with me. I managed to get out some short responses, but I wasn't returning much conversation and internally I got pretty anxious. I had planned on staying at the cafe to have my coffee, but I ended up just leaving.

I admit I do use my phone as a barrier to avoid situation like that, but I just haven't reached a point where unexpected interactions like that aren't difficult.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

Come to Texas, partner!

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

german here. i went on a 2 months vacation to travel australia and was surprised because of their mentality. they're really open towards others (even strangers) and often start a conversation. it's heartwarming to speak with those nice people. a few times i parked my car, got out, and was promptly invited to a bbq by a neighbor camper - it was my first day on that campspot and i have never met those people before. truly amazing, i miss that kind of interactions in germany

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u/Jtennan Jul 13 '15

I do this all the time. I certainly understand people want their own space or want to keep to themselves, but you can tell by their response (or lack thereof) if they want to talk.

I'm in sales so I'd talk to a wall if it would speak back. However, I meet so many cool people by just shooting the shit or chit chatting with random strangers.

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u/TheRealBeakerboy Jul 13 '15

Totally agree. My wife complains that I'm a "talker" though. However, I was recently on a flight, seated next to a student from Iran and spoke the entire flight about his experiences in the U.S. and Americans perceptions about Iran. I thought it was a great conversation, and much better than playing Nethack on my phone, or reading the Peter Hook memoir for two hours, as I otherwise would have done.

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u/BoomerKeith Jul 14 '15

I'm surprised at how many people go out of their way to not have to speak to strangers (looking at the ground, stopping in mid walk to change direction...I've even seen someone act like they were on the phone...that was a friend of mine).

I've always said "hello" to anyone I pass, and if I'm on an airplane (or anywhere that you're together with strangers for more than 20 seconds) I make an effort to talk to the people around me. I don't try to have in depth, hour long conversations, but I do try to at least acknowledge the other people. It's still amazing to me that some feel so 'offended' by the idea of doing it.

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u/red_sky33 Jul 14 '15

Come to the Midwest/South. If you're in the right place, you can have a party just with people who happen to be sitting near you.

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u/DoctorOfCoconuts Jul 14 '15

ABSOLUTELY! I would be more into doing this if I knew people weren't going to "freak" out or think I'm trying to hit on them. Sometimes I just want to meet people and make friends, why is that an issue? It makes me very cynical and just makes me not want to talk to anybody. Most of my experiences have been, "why are you talking to me?" Then again that's probably for the best because then they're most likely people I wouldn't want to be friends with. But again who knows cause they don't want to talk. Crazy cycle, really.

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u/mattsprofile Jul 14 '15

I love when people come up and talk to me. I'm a really lonely person and I have no social skills whatsoever, so I can't approach anyone. But it's nice when someone notices you exist every once in a while.

It almost never happens, though.

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u/mariataytay Jul 14 '15

I'm currently in Disney and one of the things I love is talking to new people. It's super easy because a lot of people have pins that say they're celebrating, or are wearing something I can compliment. I love to give advice to people who are visiting for the first time, and hear advice from seasoned veterans.

The other day I met a couple who were celebrating their 62nd anniversary. They were adorable, holding hands and the like.

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u/electromage Jul 14 '15

Actually I wish I could do this. I'm introverted, and a freelance IT consultant/PC fixer, so it's hard for me to find new customers. I had a mentor years ago who was a great salesman, everywhere he went he found a new client, and he was in a very niche market.

Just today I was at a gas station and a stranger complimented my car, and I was just sort of caught off guard, mumbled at his remarks, and answered a couple questions very quiet and with as few words as possible. I don't know why it's so hard for me to interact with people I don't know. I'm afraid I come across as rude.

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u/hewhoreddits6 Jul 14 '15

I went to a small town in Virginia a few weeks and and was shocked to find out people actually do this. I'm from the city, so unless I'm at a bar or club I keep my distance from others and they keep it from me. Imagine my shock when an old women sees me at the farmers market and just goes "man, you're tall" and we start talking. Nice experience. 10/10 would talk to a random stranger again.

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u/Falkjaer Jul 13 '15

as long as you back off when I make it clear I don't wanna talk to you.

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u/Endur Jul 13 '15

Depends how tired I am. I will desperately try to avoid conversation in the mornings because it takes way more mental effort than I'm able to put forth

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u/iguessimaperson Jul 13 '15

Most people in the US generally greet each other. I grew up in CA and almost everybody is willing to have a conversation

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u/Unique_Cyclist Jul 13 '15

saw a cute girl on the bus today. Was really eager to strike up a conversation, and was looking for simple ice-breakers/convo-starters... I've come to realize (by the time the bus reached my stop) that I've not striked up a conversation with a complete stranger in such a long time that I don't actually even remember how to do that.

Any other time I've met people we've both either been introduced by a mutual friend or were forced to communicate for whatever work/school related reason..

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u/hughe2mj Jul 13 '15

I can't go on long enough about how much this has benefitted my life. I'm a very talkative and outgoing person and work in a customer service industry. I'm really good at finding something to strike up a conversation (e.g. clothing they are wearing) and have never been shy about doing it in any scenario. It's also helped me greatly with networking and getting things I need (or don't know I need yet). For example: In 2007 I was at Rock The Bells in NYC (RATM reunion tour) and missed the last train from NYC back into a town in NJ. Ended up talking with a guy that was in the same situation and had friends that were going to pick him up in Newark and were driving the direction I needed to go. I told him a bit about myself so he felt I was trustworthy and offered cash for the ride. I was very grateful for the ride as I would have been in a tough situation.

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u/No11223456 Jul 13 '15

I'm a very social person, but I'll sit and read articles on my phone when I'm in a place because I love knowledge and learning things. If you strike up conversation with me however, I'll stop what I'm doing and converse because I genuinely like talking to people more.

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u/dayblow Jul 13 '15

It depends on the context really. Usually just bringing up a random conversation can be strange, especially if you're a man approaching a woman in a public place. She'll likely assume that you're trying to flirt with her which may be somewhat annoying to deal with. Unless you're attractive.(this trumps most social etiquette)

If something interesting or out of the ordinary occurs in front of us, then I'll usually talk to a stranger or comment on it. Or if there's an obvious shared interest, like someone's wearing a shirt with a band I like on it.

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u/TurtleSayuri Jul 13 '15

I love randomly making conversation with someone. Whether it's at school, in line when ordering food, or waiting somewhere. I like it. It helps me have some kind of social interaction.

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u/Mr_Rippe Jul 13 '15

I've had great conversations with people I've been sitting next to at a bar. Didn't bother picking up a name, but I really enjoy watching major games on the TVs and talking to the other people who showed up by themselves to watch the game.

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u/goldishblue Jul 13 '15

That's not acceptable?

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u/Boush117 Jul 13 '15

I am so jealous that you people are able to pull this one off.

I am not the most social person ever, so this is really hard for me. Since I live in a small community, meeting people who know me via my mother or something like that is very common. The annoying part is that they usually want to chatter with me. I appreciate that they want to talk to me and I will do my best to talk back, but it just feels uncomfortable since I hardly know these people.

I have stricken conversations with strangers at times (usually I don't start them) and it feels wonderful. However, I am too anxious to pull it off usually.

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u/bcollett Jul 13 '15

It kind of depends where you are. In the U.S. it's common in small cities; especially in the Midwest. Larger cities on the coast are a hit or miss. Other countries are the same way - hit or miss - I spoke to a German exchange student who told me the largest difference she experienced between the U.S. and Germany was that strangers would converse with one another - something she said is taboo in Germany.

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u/dinosaurwithatophat_ Jul 13 '15

I am from germany actually and while it's not taboo per se it definately doesn't really happen. That's why I'm really happy when it does! I also heard from relatives that people in the US greet you casually and stuff like that. But the biggest difference is waiters, they're rude as fuck here (at least at the restaurants I go to) totally different in the uk as well

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u/bass_n_treble Jul 13 '15

Nah, fuck that. I don't want to talk to strangers in public. I talk to strangers at social events like going out to dinner with friends and they bring someone I don't know. I don't want to talk to some guy named Chad while I'm ordering a bagel and coffee. Fuck you, leave me alone.

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u/drede_knig Jul 13 '15

In Norway people would be weirded out were you to try to talk to them out of nowhere. However, if the two of you have something in common (both are mothers (fathers give silent viking nods, no chatter), their dog runs into you and they start apologizing, you're in a class/work together), then chit-chat is allowed to an extent depending on the situation.

Norway can probably be classified as one of the top ten countries with polite citizens. We might seem very cold (technically, we are), but when there's a reason for communication, you bet we'll be kind as hell (especially citizens of Hell, a town in Norway). A smile on the face, polite answers to all questions, and extremely friendly are traits which can describe a talking Norwegian. Heck, even the jocks and popular girls in school are friendly and including.

So when a situation warrants chatter, by all do means, begin talking. But god have mercy on your soul if you start talking out of the blue, to us, that's like taking the urinal next to yours when all the others are open, awkward and weird.

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u/sunjay140 Jul 13 '15

Get out normie. Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

1

u/Decyde Jul 13 '15

I find this acceptable as long as you're not circle jerking yourself or your family.

If you are, I don't give 2 fucking shits about your nephew Olly or how he's smart for his age.

Fuck Olly.

1

u/Riggybee Jul 13 '15

I do this sometimes, especially if it feels awkward to me. Example: the food court or something, and people keep glancing at me. "hi, I'm riggybee, how are you?" "um, I'm alright, thank you." etc. Just to kind of let them know I see them and also to be polite I guess.

1

u/tramplemousse Jul 13 '15

Depends on how it comes across. I'm very flirty and charming, so if I have the impulse to strike up a convo or say something then I will. Depending on the context of course - going with the flow isn't a license to be a creep.

1

u/mbuff Jul 13 '15

I usually try to give off signs that I don't want people to talk to me when I am in public (headphones in, avoiding eye contact, arm crossed, etc.), so I get even more irritated when random people try to initiate conversations with me. I am not on my phone in public very often, but I also want to be left alone in my bubble.

In regards to it being socially unacceptable to talking to a stranger, I don't think it is. People generally want to interact with other people to different degrees, so I would say it can be a good thing.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

You're not British, are you?

1

u/OutlierJoe Jul 13 '15

I don't think that is unacceptable, but I do think it can be unacceptable if the person isn't interested.

I'm not anti-social, but I am introverted, and it can take a lot of effort for me to maintain a conversation with a stranger. A 10 minute conversation with a stranger can be just as draining for me as a 12 hour party with friends.

1

u/serosis Jul 13 '15

I fucking hate this.

Even with people I know, small talk is damned annoying.

There is no way to put this without making myself look like the asshole, but I hate talking about mundane shit like the weather or how hot your coffee was this morning. I just do not give a fuck and would rather enjoy what solitude I have left before I die.

1

u/sparks1990 Jul 13 '15

Where I live in Alabama it's socially unacceptable to not talk to people around you. Don't want to have a conversation in line at the grocery store? You're a rude motherfucker.

So I went to London. Wasn't aware those people don't like to talk to each other. The "tube" is supposed to be a silent place apparently.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

Striking up a conversation with a stranger is a good way to pass the time.

There have been many occasions where I'm waiting a taxi/bus and just try to converse with anyone within a certain vicinity of me, a cigarette usually helps.

1

u/Chuchoter Jul 13 '15

I used to do this on campus at the bus stop too. Even profs took the bus, so it felt like... it felt like as if they took off their prof-ness and became normal people equal to us commuter students. Sort of like how after actors finish filming a scene and take a break, they revert back to their regular personalities and chat up with each other even if they were archnemeses when shooting the film.

1

u/bingletons Jul 13 '15

I don't mind having a conversation with a stranger but it seems like the only ones that actually start conversations with me can't read social cues.

I mean, five minutes of small talk about the weather is fine, but why do I look like I'm the guy to confirm all your ill-informed reactionary and racist opinions.

1

u/johnghanks Jul 14 '15

Where I am from, and places I've been, (mostly North America) it's/very/ common.

1

u/dragonbringerx Jul 14 '15

From the south here. It's not only NOT socially unacceptable it's actually considered good manners to be able to talk to total strangers. There really is such a thing as southern hospitality.

1

u/flogmorton Jul 14 '15

I found this out when I moved from New Jersey to Texas. In NJ talikng to somebody was "get away from me potential murderer." And in Texas "stop by the house for dinner some time"

1

u/Bacon_Bitz Jul 14 '15

I like this too and it used to be the socially correct thing to do. It would s rude to not acknowledge someone. Now you see people deliberately playing with their phone to avoid it.

1

u/FuckingTexas Jul 14 '15

In Texas it's pretty much a requirement to talk to strangers. I always do.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

My general rule is that if your going to be spending more than 5 minutes in close proximity to someone, you should get to know them. It's a safety and a health thing. Safety in terms of if you get in trouble or accidentally do something stupid, or just want to know whats good on the menu you got someone back you up. Health thing in the fact that there's a sense of security from knowing people around you and, on top of that, its healthy to socialize whether your extroverted or introverted.

I even reverse it and say to myself if someone near me needs help, I can help them and feel good. It's a part of the whole human being thing we have going for us, we work together, we build together.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

I tend to stay in my bubble because I'm shy, I'd love to talk to people but I just can't. I'm sure I could if I tried long enough but a lot of the time I just miss the oppertunity because they leave before I can get the courage up to say hello.

1

u/ioweyou90 Jul 14 '15

They say a college freshmen is the most friendly person you'll ever met. Take advantage of that :)

1

u/ryewheats2 Jul 14 '15

SoCal this is weird to most people, but back east it was far more common and I miss it.

1

u/jamesholden Jul 14 '15

Come to Alabama.

seriously.

1

u/the_omega99 Jul 14 '15

Regarding the social unacceptability, I think it's largely about circumstances and area. As others mentioned, area matters a lot. Some places are good places for strangers to talk, others are not. I'm not even necessarily talking about things like countries (although those matter, too), but stuff like classrooms vs buses.

Regarding circumstances, it'd be rude to try and start a conversation with someone who seems to be busy with anything (and you shouldn't make presumptions about how important what they're doing is). Eg, if someone is playing a video game or reading a book, there's a good chance they don't want to talk.

1

u/Oysta_Cracka Jul 14 '15

As a Texan, I strike up conversations on the Metro railway all the time.

1

u/pUnqfUr5 Jul 14 '15

Seattle is notorious for this. Google the Seattle Freeze.

1

u/cerebralshrike Jul 14 '15

I'm from Texas. Talking to strangers is not only acceptable, it's expected. My friend came here from New York to live, and she was so disturbed at the amount of people that would just talk to her out of the blue.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

I'm in Kentucky and although I rarely do it (just because I suck at talking to people) it's perfectly normal. My english teacher said that it must be a southern thing because up north they'll "look at you like you just called their mother a whore", he said.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Nope unless there is a specific purpose

1

u/incorrectreality Jul 14 '15

I agree I always do this usually in gaming stores taking to people about what we thought about games it's always very pleasant

1

u/CrazyLeader Jul 14 '15

This can be annoying sometimes.

1

u/ma2016 Jul 14 '15

Welcome to the south. If the person is nice they'll chat you up all day given the opportunity.

1

u/FeelTheWrath79 Jul 14 '15

Apparently in Europe, it seems frowned upon.

1

u/SixFeetDeepPete Jul 14 '15

I once talked to a guy at 1 in the morning in my campus about the universe, paradoxes, time travel, and existence, all in a 10 minute walk to the same place. Great guy, wont ever see him again.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

I hate people that just start talking to me without a reason, pointlessly wasting my time.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

As a car enthusiast I get this all the time. Pull into the mall and a similar car comes beside me? Shit we might just hang out at the mall together. Easy way to make friends, you already have a strong common ground.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

One of my best friends always talks to strangers on elevators. When I'm with him, he incorporates me in the conversation. I've met a lot of cool people thanks to that.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

I normally feel pretty cool about speaking to strangers but this one time in a department/grocery store I was browsing the book section and some dude I'd never met before comes up out of nowhere and starts talking to me. He wanted to know what I did for a living and mentioned something about networking. It set off alarm bells in my mind I didn't even know I had. It was just really off.

1

u/gl1tterpr1nce3369 Jul 14 '15

Sometimes I really love this, but if I'm very obviously occupied (headphones on, reading a book, etc.) then it really bothers me when people force a conversation onto me.

1

u/civilian11214 Jul 14 '15

Your best friend(s) were strangers to you once.

1

u/petit_cochon Jul 14 '15

I'm from the south. It's normal to do that here. Other places, you'll be considered very strange.

1

u/jhp58 Jul 14 '15

You must not be from the Midwest. It's a very regular thing here.

Source: I'm a Midwesterner. I strike up conversations with strangers a lot.

1

u/frozenGrizzly Jul 14 '15

It's not socially unacceptable at all. That's pretty much the definition of being social.

1

u/Sunslant Jul 14 '15

I randomly made a comment to a guy in college that I had seen a few times around campus about a book he was reading. We became good friends. He introduced me to his friend, who is now my husband.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Texan here. This happens multiple times a day. Some I begin, some I don't.

1

u/bigblackcouch Jul 14 '15

Nothing wrong with that. Hell, a couple months ago I was waiting to be seated for lunch at a restaurant and there was an older gentleman waiting behind me, a table opened up and I invited him to share the table. I drive all over the city for work so I eat alone 99% of the time.

We had a nice conversation about all sorts of stuff, had a good meal. I paid for both of us at the end, just cause it was nice to chat with someone for a bit. Hope the business is good in Virginia, Charles!

1

u/_pandamonium Jul 14 '15

I get lonely at school sometimes but I'm too shy to start a conversation. Sometimes I'm too busy but usually I love if someone talks to me. I'm actually not too bad at chatting but I have no idea how to turn that into a friend or even just someone I talk to if I see them.

1

u/Oisann Jul 14 '15

Oh you would love Northern Europe.

1

u/TheDedicatedDeist Jul 14 '15

I'm social enough to talk to random strangers, small talk is normal and if you think it's weird you're the weird one.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

as a Midwesterner, this is most definitely not frowned upon. I was recently in Las Vegas and struck up many conversations with strangers I was playing blackjack and craps with. For one of them, his group and my group ended up meeting up later in the night

1

u/misteryin Jul 14 '15

I don't think it's socially unacceptable, but you're most likely going to get no response or a half assed one.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Nice try, Jehovah's Witness.

1

u/mannequinbeater Jul 14 '15

I actually stare into my phone, because I'm afraid if I look to talk to random people, they'll think of me as weird..

1

u/bensawn Jul 14 '15

i dont mind when it happens organically over something we both notice or something but i find it incredibly annoying when some needlessly zealous person starts talking my ear off just because they think theyre clever for not dicking around on their phone.

1

u/YukarinVal Jul 14 '15

The few times I've had strangers strike up a conversation, I actually liked it. I thought I wouldn't because they are intruding me, but apparently I'm bored most of the time when waiting for the elevator or bus or whatever. I just wish that I'm more a talker and can sustain the conversation longer.

1

u/PoonaniiPirate Jul 14 '15

I'm super good at starting a conversation with a random person, but I have like 4 people's contact info in my phone that I have never contacted to hangout. I mean I played league with one and his friends but now I just don't for some reason. It's not like I don't like them, I just feel like it would take alot of effort to further a friendship. I don't I'm weird

1

u/psychopathic_rhino Jul 14 '15

Move to the south. My dad talks to everyone around him no matter what. It gets annoying sometimes but he sure is friendly.

1

u/Delsana Jul 14 '15

I do this, in an attempt to make friends. Rejection 99% of the time. Sometimes worse. I do APPROACH people, but usually by random lunch place sitting.

1

u/loquatiouslizard Jul 14 '15

I was at a dance and very awkwardly talking to a girl who I thought was my age. I asked her if anything interesting happened to her recently and she said that actually she had found a nice sale on some bras recently and it seemed like she really wanted to talk about bras for a bit. Then she brought up periods and I thought that was weirder but whatever, it's something we have in common.

It turned out she was 12 (I am almost 18.) It seems weird but I would have loved to talk about that shit with someone older than me at that age, and so it totally makes sense now. I felt kind of creeped out but also kind of good about myself--and it was a fun conversation.

1

u/Cybertool Jul 14 '15

i love just going up too a random person, talk then see if the conversation sticks so much fun.

1

u/JonasBrosSuck Jul 14 '15

always wanted to try this but people might think i'm a creeper or thinking i'm trying to hit them up

1

u/adiostoreadon Jul 14 '15

It's a nice thing to happen from time to time. For me personally it depends on my mood, since I normally like being alone, I prefer being left that way but some times I do like just talking to the person next to me.

1

u/GoFidoGo Jul 14 '15

Half the time people think I'm hitting on them. Turns out to be more trouble than it's worth.

1

u/Saliiim Jul 14 '15

I'm a very shy introverted person that likes avoiding people, but I also have mild anxiety which makes me really worried what other people think of me (despite knowing how fucking stupid that is).

Having someone strike up a conversation with me can make me feel really uncomfortable but also really ease my anxiety.

But yes, I am for the idea of talking to people you don't know.

1

u/dinosaurwithatophat_ Jul 14 '15

I totally understand what you mean! I suffer from social anxiety and can't really talk to people and it makes me nervous but happy at the same time

1

u/Karl_Marx_ Jul 14 '15

Yeah, sometimes I just want to get where I'm going. Unless you are an attractive female, most likely I don't want to talk to you.

1

u/Cheeseologist Jul 14 '15

Odd, because strangers are always talking to me. Gets annoying sometimes, but I generally don't mind.

1

u/ThatAwesomePenguin Jul 14 '15

I had a cashier comment on my (Kill la Kill) tshirt the other day, we had a chat about the dub quality while he put my shopping through. It was really pleasant.

1

u/charanguista Jul 14 '15

I will always remember in my first few weeks of uni, I happened to hold the gate open for a random person in my halls, and he happened to be going the same way as me. We chatted for about half an hour before we had to go our separate ways, but it was one of the nicest conversations I'd had, and we both just kind of accepted that we probably weren't going to see each other again. I glimpsed him a couple more times over the next three years but never spoke to him again.

1

u/Aassiesen Jul 14 '15

I regularly end up talking to people when I'm waiting for the bus with them or on the train with them. It's generally nice and it's normally people I wouldn't meet normally.

I find it amusing when people talk about not saying hi to strangers. I saw a post recently where it said "You know someone is a culchie when they say hi to people in Dublin". I get not striking up a conversation with everyone you meet but sometimes it just happens and being against it because they're a stranger is ridiculous.

1

u/carl_the_litter Jul 14 '15

I don't think it's socially unacceptable , I'm just an extremely shy and introvert person. I could never ever strike up a conversation with strangers. Best thing I am able of is asking for fire or so. I always feel it's strange and people would think "who dafak is that and what does he want". Yes I'm socially awkward. Myself I like it when people approach me what they rarely do

1

u/dcw14 Jul 14 '15

It's hard to have a conversation or even talk to strangers. People in cities are so used to avoiding the homeless and beggars that they ignore everyone who tries to talk to them in a public setting.

I was at a coffee shop and tried to ask a person if they had change for a 20 and they ignored me as if I was asking them for money. I've had other experiences where people ignore me simply because they don't know me.

1

u/ZachMartin Jul 14 '15

One of the coolest things happened to me on the N train. To paint a picture...I've just finished a work day, wearing a suit, listening to my iphone on headphones. Guy sitting across from me is a very unique looking fellow. About 6' 5", tall and lanky, and MASSIVE dread locks. Didn't have a bitter angry aura to him, seemed genuinely satisfied with life, and he's also nodding his head listening to music on his phone or iPod. I was heading home to astoria from drinks with clients, so I probably was a little more adventurous than normal. For whatever reason, I randomly get up and sit down next to him and say, "Hey let's switch. I'll listen to what you're listening to and you listen to what I'm listening to." He's like, "Oh cool, sure man." I put this on (the actual video I dled from youtube): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnH27mxW0KM

He played this for me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHk-cyhdD80

I think we were both incredibly surprised at what the other person put on, I was very into what he played, and he seemed to dig what I put on.

It got to my stop, we shook hands, he said his first name (it was either steve, scott, or doug I think - hey I was slightly intoxicated). Anyways, what a beautiful honest moment.

1

u/Saint_Schlonginus Jul 14 '15

I also don´t really mind, when strangers talk to me. Sometimes it´s refreshing and you never know what interesting things people have to tell. But I´m pretty shy with strangers, so I could not start a conversation with someone I don´t know. Also don´t talk to me if I wear headphones.

1

u/strider_sifurowuh Jul 17 '15

It depends. If some stranger comes up to me and starts rambling on about their day, I'm going to feel a bit weird. I do enjoy the occasional comments between me and someone else context depending when it's relevant to what's going on. Just don't walk up to me and start railing off your life story.

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