r/oneliners 9h ago

There are two words in a person's life that will open a lot of doors for them: PUSH and PULL.

24 Upvotes

r/oneliners 13h ago

My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.

14 Upvotes

r/oneliners 14m ago

If you lost an eye, would 3d glasses give you normal vision?

Upvotes

r/oneliners 34m ago

With Trump re-elected and Hollywood on fire I have to ask, what's Sabrina Carpenter going to do with her third wish?

Upvotes

r/oneliners 14h ago

I like self-deprecating humor but I’m not very good at it.

11 Upvotes

r/oneliners 10h ago

I prefer not to have preferences.

1 Upvotes

r/oneliners 1d ago

A bribe is when the giver says "Thanks" and the receiver says "Don't mention it".

20 Upvotes

r/oneliners 2d ago

The legend of Linda Lovelace and her work on the pornographic film “Deepthroat”, will live on through the generations as part of our oral history.

11 Upvotes

r/oneliners 1d ago

Because of gun culture - Army to an American must be the same as biathlon to a Norwegian

0 Upvotes

r/oneliners 1d ago

Sometimes self deprecation with your girlfriend just makes you a fool to her.

0 Upvotes

r/oneliners 3d ago

Is it weird if one of my testicles hangs slightly lower than the other two?

95 Upvotes

r/oneliners 2d ago

I will NOT go to assertiveness training.

4 Upvotes

r/oneliners 3d ago

It sure was awkward when Trump tried to buy Panama from David Lee Roth.

18 Upvotes

r/oneliners 3d ago

It is so cold, I saw a banker with his hands in his own pockets.

33 Upvotes

r/oneliners 2d ago

I bought a chess set at the pawn shop, but it's missing a piece, ironically.

3 Upvotes

r/oneliners 2d ago

Diversity Training is Mandatory for Everyone.

0 Upvotes

r/oneliners 3d ago

The winner of the abbreviation contest is TBA

21 Upvotes

r/oneliners 4d ago

If ever you're about to be mugged by a pair of clowns, don't hesitate to go for the juggler.

75 Upvotes

r/oneliners 4d ago

My girlfriend accused me of gaslighting, I told her she was crazy

12 Upvotes

r/oneliners 4d ago

If 2 clowns try to rob you, you'll have to outsmart Penny-Wise and pound Foolish.

0 Upvotes

r/oneliners 4d ago

I've always suspected Dolly Parton of a false front.

3 Upvotes

r/oneliners 3d ago

I haven't heard of an Oxymoron better than "Enough Money".

0 Upvotes

r/oneliners 4d ago

So who’s this Alice I’m supposed to see about my erectile dysfunction?

0 Upvotes

r/oneliners 4d ago

My grandfather tried to warn them about Chernobyl... He yelled and screamed about the reactor meltdown, but all they did was throw him out of the science lecture...

0 Upvotes