r/asktransgender • u/FX114 • 2d ago

Problems with "man"-spreading

I find it hard to keep my legs closed, and it sometimes makes me dysphoric. I don't know if it's something about my hips, my thick thighs, or the fact that I don't tuck, but it's genuinely uncomfortable to not sit with my legs in their natural, splayed position, and I know it doesn't look feminine at all. Plus, it's actually inconvenient in certain situations.

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u/TropicalFish-8662 trans woman, HRT 05/2023 2d ago

I have the same problem, and I don't know the answer. I don't know how so many people (cis women, trans women, and even cis men) manage to cross their legs with one on top of the other. I don't know if it's due to me being a plus-sized girl? (Because I can't actually remember seeing any cis women who are big as me crossing their legs in that way, either.)

When I'm in my trans group, and we're sitting in a circle, everyone else is sitting in the appropriate way for their gender. The trans men are sort of slouched and sprawled out, and the trans women have their legs crossed, one over the other. And then I'm sitting more like how the men are sitting, than like how the other women are sitting. I at least try to cross my legs at the ankles, even though my knees are apart, because that makes it a little more feminine.

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u/AnxietyExtension7842 1d ago

I have that issue too. Leg crossed over ankle is most comfortable. I used to be able to cross my legs both sides when I was younger but now I can only cross my legs on the side. Learning keep them together is very difficult at 52!