r/asktransgender • u/FX114 • 2d ago

Problems with "man"-spreading

I find it hard to keep my legs closed, and it sometimes makes me dysphoric. I don't know if it's something about my hips, my thick thighs, or the fact that I don't tuck, but it's genuinely uncomfortable to not sit with my legs in their natural, splayed position, and I know it doesn't look feminine at all. Plus, it's actually inconvenient in certain situations.

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u/TropicalFish-8662 trans woman, HRT 05/2023 2d ago

I have the same problem, and I don't know the answer. I don't know how so many people (cis women, trans women, and even cis men) manage to cross their legs with one on top of the other. I don't know if it's due to me being a plus-sized girl? (Because I can't actually remember seeing any cis women who are big as me crossing their legs in that way, either.)

When I'm in my trans group, and we're sitting in a circle, everyone else is sitting in the appropriate way for their gender. The trans men are sort of slouched and sprawled out, and the trans women have their legs crossed, one over the other. And then I'm sitting more like how the men are sitting, than like how the other women are sitting. I at least try to cross my legs at the ankles, even though my knees are apart, because that makes it a little more feminine.

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u/Kelrisaith 2d ago

Hip joint angles and joint flexibility mostly, I've been able to do that all my life, hell I can tuck my leg UNDERNEATH the other leg and hook my ankle around the opposite ankle doing it. I realize that's confusing as hell to read, I can cross my leg on top of the other and hook it around the back of the leg it's resting on, ending back on its original side with my toes touching the ground.

I'm hypermobile though, I can do things with my joints and spine that make other people uncomfortable, like bending my knees backwards and damn near bending 90 degrees backwards from a standing position. I can make my knees look like they've been beaten backwards with a sledgehammer with zero effort or discomfort.

I've also been overweight for a long time, working on it, but even at my heaviest around 300 pounds I could still cross my legs like that because my joints are extremely flexible and my hip joints connect in the right way to allow for it.

No HRT and a plethora of health issues, it's all down to genetics and how flexible you are. Which CAN actually be trained, I just have a headstart because of the hypermobility if I ever decide to do it and can more than likely go further than most if I do train it.