r/Homebrewing • u/innsource • Jun 11 '21

Craft Beer Brew Humor

So I run a liquor store which speciallizes in craft beer. #1 store in the state, to be more specific. I live and breath beer. If I'm not selling beers or ordering beers for the store, I'm buying beers, reading about beers, brewing beers, out with beer reps drinking beers. You get it.
Over the past few years I've been getting more and more disenfranchised with the what is being considered "craft" beer. This really hit hard with feedback from my last 3 batches.

Super crisp- clean, sessionable Lager: Too boring
Top tier West Coast IPA: Too bitter, not hazy or fruity enough
Marshamallow Dessert stout (I wasn't happy with sub-par quality) AMAZING!!!

Long story short, I want to brew more "Craft" beers. Does anybody have any recipes for a good New England Double Bourbon Barrel Aged Imperial Tropical Salted Caramel Double Dry Hopped Extra Oat Cream Vanilla Milkshake Chocolate Raspberry Icecream Sour White Stout Infused with Mint, Hibiscus and Truffle oil?

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-7

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

This is what happens when fucking hipsters start getting "in" to brewing.

They take a great thing, and Starbucks the shit out of it until it's barely recognizable.

My condolences OP. Don't worry. When the hipsters move on to whatever they want to ruin next, beer will still be here for us.

4

u/Rene_DeMariocartes Jun 11 '21

So what you're saying is that you were into beer before it was cool? I hope that flannel is keeping you warm.

-3

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

I was into beer en utero. I'll gate keep the shit out this beverage against hipsters. Water - Hops - Barley - Yeast. The end.

4

u/Rene_DeMariocartes Jun 11 '21

I was into beer en utero

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make fun of someone with FAS, but that does explain a lot.

2

u/ridethedeathcab Jun 11 '21

Damn we better tell all the traditional brewers that /u/Impossible-asset doesn't think they were making beer because they were adding something other than those 4 ingredients. Spices, other grains, and fruits have long been added to beers.

-5

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '21

Then they aren't beers. Are they bad? Probably not. Are they drinkable? Probably so. Are they beer? No.

Here you go fam. Nice chatting with you. Give my regards to the rest of the "we'll make anything we want and call it beer because we feel like it" hipsters.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinheitsgebot