r/FridgeDetective 15d ago

My ex boyfriends fridge that I’ve thought about every day for two years Meta

Post image
4.9k Upvotes

851

u/luckycoastal 15d ago

Was your ex-bf Gaston? The quantity and storage method for eggs is crazy

191

u/Crunka19 15d ago

Now that he’s grown he eats 5 dozen eggs

75

u/jonesy289 15d ago

And he’s roughly the size of a barn

68

u/musicvinylman 15d ago

you mean Barge?

54

u/dhaney19 15d ago

I USE ANTLERS IN ALL OF MY DECORATING

21

u/Obvious_Huckleberry 15d ago

Who's a man among men

16

u/Frigoris13 14d ago

HE'S ESPECIALLY GOOD AT EXPECTORATING!!

9

u/BlookyArt 14d ago

MY, WHAT A GUY THAT GASTOOON!!!!!

11

u/ClassicLunatic 13d ago

Noooooooo onnnnneeeeeeee SHITS LIKE GASTON, takes big shits like Gaston! No one’s shits as incredibly Thick like Gaston’s. He’s especially good at deffffiicaaating….my, what a guy that Gaston. 🎶

5

u/leave_it_to_beavers 13d ago

I will never hear that song the same way again, thank you lmao

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u/frckbassem_5730 15d ago

Bahahaha I love the internet 😆

3

u/NoSticksNoSeeds_ 14d ago

The Internet…It’s undefeated…Can’t argue with that!!

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u/Deliciouserest 14d ago

Hawk tuey! Two points for Gaston!!

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u/x3leggeddawg 15d ago

And every last inch of him is covered in hair

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u/female_wolf 15d ago

This is hilarious 🤣🤣

7

u/bbycalz 15d ago

I just snort laughed..didn’t even see the eggs at first

6

u/menina2017 15d ago

Gaston ☠️

4

u/NeatViolinist5464 15d ago

Omg my first thought too! Lol

3

u/WixZ42 15d ago

Lmao

2

u/MakthaMenace 15d ago

Lol this is how I store my eggs too 😭 but my bin is clear so I can visualize how many eggs I have left

2

u/Curious_deadcat 14d ago

You got 73 eggs left… now what?

3

u/MakthaMenace 14d ago

Well, now I know I have enough eggs to feed my husband and I breakfast for 12 days lol.

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612

u/ol_lady_184 15d ago

He put all his eggs in one basket? He lives on the wild side.

70

u/Begood0rbegoodatit 15d ago

V good v good

24

u/TendiesOrCransIDEC 15d ago

The content I am here for ^

20

u/Rostima 15d ago

No he doesn’t. Most are in the basket, some are on the door.

2

u/Extruder_duder 15d ago

The door ones look like they might be duck eggs.

2

u/ol_lady_184 15d ago

You must not know the proverb "don't put all your eggs in one basket'

15

u/Rostima 15d ago

Of course I know it. But look at the picture - he very wisely did NOT put all his eggs in one basket. Just most.

5

u/Summoarpleaz 15d ago

I’m almost certain these are all hard boiled too.

3

u/ol_lady_184 15d ago

Hahaha I just saw those on the door

10

u/ashkanahmadi 15d ago

Damn I thought those were white button mushrooms!

2

u/Academic-Employer-52 14d ago

Comment of the day.

2

u/MysticalBAMF 14d ago

No there are also eggs in the top of the door. Above the flask.

2

u/Efficient_Addition27 13d ago

Actually, there are some also in the door at the top 😂

728

u/frankiejayiii 15d ago

abs are made in the kitchen

126

u/BradMathews 15d ago

Anti lock brakes save lives

21

u/olympianfap 15d ago

Seatbelts save lives

18

u/Daetwyle 15d ago

Jet fuel cant melt steel beams

5

u/WoobiesWoobo 15d ago

The strongest steel is forged in a dumpster fire

3

u/nickHuckabee 15d ago

Says the government

15

u/theFields97 15d ago

Sex makes lives

16

u/OddlyArtemis 15d ago

T-rexes take lives.

7

u/Complete-Priority916 15d ago

Ovens bake lives.

16

u/IssaStraw 15d ago

Only the German ones

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u/watekebb 14d ago

Abs are made in the kitchen, and so are poops. I would hate to see this guy’s.

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u/FlowVast5725 15d ago

Do tell me more..

37

u/missy_inc 15d ago

Basically, you cant outwork a bad diet. You likely cant have abs + unhealthy diet (unless you're one of those lucky people with crazy metabolisms)

29

u/Free_Juggernaut8292 15d ago

metabolism haver here ✋

if u dont have abs by default then calorie deficit is far more important than training abs to get them. unfortunately, many ppl store fat in their ab area so even losing fat might not be enough

9

u/missy_inc 15d ago

Lucky! I am the latter and always have to watch my diet, unfortunately. Weight training helps bc more muscle = more cals burned at a resting rate!

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u/Uncommon_Wisdom 15d ago

So hungry all the time...lol

9

u/foggygoggleman 15d ago

No one has the metabolism to truly eat like shit and have abs. It just doesn’t differ that much. It doesn’t even really slow down as we age, we just usually slow down.

Whenever someone says you can’t outwork a bad diet I laugh, they’ve never met my buddy who goes out for “a light 10 mile jog” very often. Dude probably runs 2 half marathons a week lol

If you lift weights and do average cardio you need to make them abs in the kitchen

11

u/Jumpy_Bullfrog_3354 15d ago

They do... My ex husband was one! He always had abs and absolutely always ate like shit barely ever worked out until he joined the military. They have noW diminished with age of course. But younger years he was rock hard and it didn't matter what he ate or did. Laziest sob until he joined lol.

3

u/OnePaleontologist687 14d ago

I went to high school with a kid that was the star of the football and basketball teams and he ate cookies everyday for lunch.

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u/sleepgang 15d ago

I am one with the metabolism and AB’s

2

u/edgeumakated 15d ago

I eat like garbage and have abs. Haven’t done a work out In over a couple of months and will eat super shitty still got them

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u/MentionMaterial 15d ago

Visible abs are frequently an indicator of someone who appears “healthy” but is in fact living a very miserable life - spoken as a lifter of 20 years.

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u/SmokedBeef 15d ago

They start in the kitchen but they’re forged in the gym or the worksite

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184

u/Any_Leg_1998 15d ago

Bro has a flask in that fridge too, absolute mad man.

67

u/pekingsewer 15d ago

And a bottle of gin at the bottom 😂

11

u/Responsible_Brick_35 15d ago

I straight up thought that was some type of aloe drink lol

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u/boredENT9113 15d ago

I think that's Japanese whiskey but I could be wrong.

10

u/pekingsewer 15d ago

Nah, it's definitely gin. That company also makes whiskey but that's the gin label.

2

u/poopshorts 14d ago

Found the boozebag

(Am also a boozebag no hate)

2

u/ConflictingSmells 15d ago

It’s very yummy, very affordable gin

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u/wellitywell 15d ago

Full of egggggg

7

u/Puzzleheaded-Rich-51 15d ago

A gentleman always keeps his flask chilled.

3

u/angrytreestump 15d ago

This is just every basic bro in college’s mini fridge lol. That’s why it’s a mini fridge; that floor you’re looking at is 50/50 dorm or frat house.

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u/nickwoes 15d ago

The farts out of that boy must have been terrible

94

u/Express_Area_8359 15d ago

He used to Dutch oven her after sex

62

u/anonaponamous 15d ago

He’s in jail now for gassing his recent gf to death.

13

u/Express_Area_8359 15d ago

See right now scientists are studying a fly. Y not him farts n methane as a source of fuel… more chili restaurants. N Taco Bell

11

u/assbuttshitfuck69 15d ago

Dutch oven is foreplay.

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u/mashapicchu 15d ago

At least that's lactose free milk, but I don't think it really matters if all you eat is eggs and milk

3

u/this-rotten-mind 14d ago

happy cake day

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u/onlewis 15d ago

It’s lactose free so it’s actually much better on the stomach.

6

u/AddendumMission1035 15d ago

I'm lactose intolerant. Lactaid is awful compared to Fair life

2

u/snow-bird- 15d ago

AND it's expensive at $5 something each half gallon.

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u/sour_muffin 15d ago

Gym bro.

68

u/Ais4Anxiety 15d ago

Guarantee his cabinets are full of protein powder

5

u/DaedricDad 13d ago

Yea this is what my fridge looks like too but those fair life’s milks are like 5 bucks a pop, usually go through 6 eggs a day and one of these babies

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u/Character-Habit4505 15d ago

My husband also CHUGS through fairlife. He goes through 3-4 a week it scares me

47

u/ISmokeWinstons 15d ago

Shit, the chocolate fairlife makes me want to drink 3-4 a week 😂

22

u/Ilovehamcroissants 15d ago

I'll wake up in the middle of the night to serve myself a cup Then I tell myself another cup would be good. Before I know it I already serve myself like 5 more. Then I'll challenge myself and say man one more wouldn't hurt.

Then I can't even lay down because of how full I am.

6

u/Initial_Zombie8248 14d ago

Nobody wants to admit they chugged 9 bottles of fair life

3

u/No_Grapefruit7091 14d ago

Hell, I just open the fridge and start ripping it straight out the jug. Chocolate Fairlife is a problem. Too good.

2

u/Ilovehamcroissants 14d ago

Yes! The chocolate one is the one I'm talking about! It's so damn good once you take a sip you can't stop.

2

u/GigaCheco 13d ago

I didn’t know I had a long lost twin and after reading your username I’m convinced.

2

u/niketyname 14d ago

Chocolate Fairlife with some peanut butter in it 🤌🏽

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u/Thatdewd57 15d ago

Oof. I can’t do milk like that anymore. It’s all Almond milk for me. Maybe I drink a carton in 2-3 weeks.

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u/Omwtfyu 15d ago

Fairlife is lactose free and tastes amazing, just in case you didn't know.

6

u/Thatdewd57 15d ago

Yeah. It’s just milk in general is meh for me now. Makes me feel blech.

2

u/CEREALCOUNTSASCOOKIN 15d ago

still gives me the shits and i cant figure why

10

u/Lunelle327 15d ago

You’re probably allergic to the protein in dairy, casein, not the lactose

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u/RampagingElks 15d ago

If I had the money, I would too (when I started buying them, they were 5$. Now, they're 8$...)

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u/sassafrassaclassa 15d ago

I basically live off of milk. Fairlife chocolate milk mixed with skim milk all day and one meal at night after work.

That stuff keeps me fit as hell.

2

u/dirt_shitters 15d ago

I used to drink a full whole milk fairlife a day during the week when I was in the gym a lot and bulking. I would get the chocolate milk on the weekends

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u/MeteoricColdAndTall 15d ago

He hates lactose and loves protien.

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u/T0eBeanz 15d ago

This is like if my stepdad was the only person living in my house. We literally had to put a fridge in the garage to contain all of the Fairlife that he drinks more than a jug of every single day and the dozens of eggs he buys every time he goes to the store, just to be able to have space in the "main" fridge for the people who don't exist on just eggs and highly processed milk.

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u/fudgerpudger412 15d ago

At least he has some chocolate (a vegetable) and some vodka (a vegetable)

Maybe he’s a hen laying eggs

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u/Agitated-Wave-727 15d ago

He was a taker and a selfish lover.

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u/ForsakenSun6004 15d ago

The basket of eggs 😭😅

12

u/OwlofMinervaAtDusk 15d ago

He holds a grudge against fiber / prefers to poop “in a loud and explosive manly way”

13

u/fudgerpudger412 15d ago

I love that the eggs overflow that he has to put it in the door area

8

u/TruCelt 15d ago

I'm betting those are the raw ones in the door; the basket is boiled, I bet.

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u/Sharp_Neck1745 15d ago

Loves milk so much he even has a flask just for his milk.

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u/Prize-Honey4593 15d ago

the flask is a nice touch

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u/Lanky_Rhubarb1900 15d ago

And the bottle of Roku gin at the bottom

2

u/Prize-Honey4593 15d ago

a man of horrible taste

6

u/pekingsewer 15d ago

Roku is good wtf are you on about

5

u/Economy_Wall8524 15d ago

No one likes gin. Gin drinkers are their own kind. My BFF is a gin drinker and I’ll always drink at his place. Though definitely not my cup of tea.

Edit: not that I drink at his place all the time, more of meaning when I do go to his house I expect gin to be in the freezer and not whiskey.

1

u/Elegant-Invite-5174 15d ago

You’re wrong. Gin is good and non-alcoholics don’t like it cause they heard it was for old men once.

3

u/LuponV 15d ago

I'm an alcoholic and I dislike gin.

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u/WillPayneDev 15d ago

Feel like this belongs in /r/creatine

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u/ayystarks 15d ago

him: i bet she still thinks about me

her:

22

u/PrizeSatisfaction978 15d ago

Thank god you broke up wtf is that😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

5

u/[deleted] 15d ago

Lives like a single lactosentolerant man.

2

u/[deleted] 14d ago edited 14d ago

tbh fair life is ultra filtered lactose free and this looks like the skim or 1% is 2% so he just trying to hit massive protein macros

2

u/[deleted] 14d ago

The blue one is reduced fat 2% milk and the chocolate is lactose free.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

The blue one is lactose free as well, fair life does not sell milk with lactose. "lactosentolerant man" is inaccurate, there isn't any lactose in this photo.

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u/thedankone168 15d ago

This man is an actual sociopath. You dodged a bullet

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u/Opposite-Promise-878 15d ago

Body builder? Possibly a fan a of the GOMAD diet. “Gallon of milk a day”

5

u/Plorleo 15d ago

Sensing lots of control

6

u/Logical-Iron1044 14d ago edited 14d ago

Idk if y’all will be able to see this but I need to dispel a few things:

Bro was not very muscular. He was very lean and well-defined. It was a solid look and typically what he seemed to be going for.

He wasn’t like body odor stinky. He smelled like melted plastic and pantene conditioner. It wasn’t necessarily a bad smell.

He went to the gym only once in the time I knew him and preferred to work out at home, only doing body weight exercises with no weights.

This was his only fridge. He did have a freezer that had salmon and chicken in it. Occasionally a pizza if it was special.

He wasn’t a bad person I don’t think. We were just really bad for eachother and had a lot of growing up to do before jumping into something 💀

I think about the fridge bc it’s funny/comes up in my Snapchat memories and not bc the sex was bad like.. please don’t be weird?

Also dude if you see this somehow I am so sorry I didn’t even know this blew up until a friend sent it to me like “is this *** fridge??” Like oh shit 💀💀 my fault. Hope you’re doing well and you get a kick out of this

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u/SpiritualBirthday882 15d ago

Where’s the Tren

5

u/KentuckyFriedChozo 15d ago

I'll bet he has a freezer full of meat.

5

u/blutigetranen 15d ago

Bet he's a gym bro bro

5

u/Purpslicle 15d ago

Dude is always running to the store for "milk and eggs"

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u/CommunityPretty1802 15d ago

That’s a lot of eggs how much you sell them

3

u/Reasonable-Many7442 15d ago

Does he fkn prep for pro bodybuilding wtf

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u/tkyvce 15d ago

Why do people keep so many eggs? Do they know they expire?

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u/BradMathews 15d ago

He better be 320lbs with 6% body fat.

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u/Significant-Task-890 15d ago

Methane gas. Good thing you got out.

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u/Quietwaterz 15d ago

This isn't a refrigerator. It's a promotional ad for the Dairy Farmers of America.

3

u/STANL3Y_YELNAT5 15d ago

Some nice Roku Gin at the bottom. This guy is cultured.

3

u/sbpurcell 15d ago

Hope he has some probiotics for his gut 😮‍💨

3

u/CamBearCookie 15d ago

That flask is doing some heavy lifting in the beverage department.

3

u/MeeekSauce 15d ago

This man hasnt taken a solid shit in years.

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u/Express_Area_8359 15d ago

Two years n u thought bout a fridge….ismall dick tooo?

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u/Zealousideal-Rub3745 15d ago

I'll drink that TruLife Chocolate Milk buy the gallon!

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u/CrackRockBaddie 15d ago

Didn’t know trumoo and fairlife merged

2

u/Zealousideal-Rub3745 15d ago

I'll drink that TruLife Chocolate Milk buy the gallon!

2

u/Born2Regard 15d ago

Dude lets out the deadliest fart at the top of every hour

2

u/probably_beans 15d ago

lmfao he fell for GOMAD. (Gallon of milk a day)

2

u/electricmischief 15d ago

He's a government economist tracking the cost of milk and eggs for CPI calculations 😆

2

u/Wonderful_irish 15d ago

If the fridge is what you think about..better he an ex and best you move on to newer model of 'fridge'

2

u/Rookiibee 15d ago

Man knew what he liked.

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u/earthxdream 15d ago

He's gonna get gout at this rate! Also second the farts.

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u/Calamity0o0 15d ago

One chocolate milk for a little treat

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u/Character-Bid-7747 15d ago

I drink a lot of milk but that is pretty excessive. Fortunately Fair Life milk lasts a while

2

u/Exotic-Plankton5593 15d ago

That fair life chocolate milk is amazing

2

u/Dangerous_Bad8277 15d ago

Def a gym bro

2

u/Double-Philosophy-88 15d ago

Fart knockers.....

2

u/BagelwithQueefcheese 15d ago

He must have had the worst farts.

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u/rab5991 15d ago

you were dating Gaston

2

u/E1392 15d ago

Bro is built like a brick sh$t house and has a big 🐓

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u/beeperskeeperx 15d ago

This is so fucking funny

2

u/Mangoflavor_tears 15d ago

“Its for my protein babe”

2

u/Bright-Internal229 15d ago

That milk 🥛 brand last a LONG TIME

2

u/CoatNo6454 15d ago

i bet his farts powered enough energy as a nuclear power plant

2

u/under_yor_mum69 15d ago

So what he like French toast lol

2

u/Klutch_conduct 15d ago

The more mistakes you make, the more you learn

2

u/SuccotashRare2973 15d ago

I feel bad for your taste buds ma’am

2

u/GerudosValley 15d ago

Giving clockwork orange

2

u/Frosty_Giraffe4502 15d ago

Your ex bf is delusional if he thinks eating so many eggs and drinking so much milk is healthy. Everything in moderation.

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u/DasBearkicker2112 15d ago

You’ve given us a window into your life, as well.

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u/LeeIsMe123 15d ago

With that fridge does he poop weekly or monthly? 😳

2

u/ProtectUrNeckWU 15d ago

Hulk love protein

2

u/Ok_Comment_7562 14d ago

Only one chocolate milk? Dudes weird

2

u/TrustNoSquirrel 14d ago

Was he… a chicken?

6

u/IKU420 15d ago

He’s into microplastic milk

5

u/Busy_Wish_4692 15d ago

All milk is microplastic milk

4

u/seamallorca 15d ago

You're in love with your ex's fridge?

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u/Economy_Wall8524 15d ago

They said they want your dog, in their tinder profile, but it was a long game for milk and eggs the whole time.

2

u/breadandbunny 15d ago

How was his cholesterol? Holy f.

3

u/Fixx95 15d ago

Crazy that he's still in yo mind

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u/Humble_Fuel7210 15d ago

Seems like a cool guy haha.

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u/Odd-Oil-2796 15d ago

That’s definitely the best milk tho !

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u/Twar121 15d ago

Fitness obsessed but no concept of health. An alcoholic but absolutely no fun at parties. Bad breath.

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u/sonshipprophecy 15d ago

That’s a weird thing to live rent free in your head for two years

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u/Apprehensive-Fig3223 15d ago

I picture him drinking the eggs like Rocky then chasing it with fairlife but going to an over lit super corporate gym instead of running through a dimly lit post industrial neighborhood...

1

u/Major-Cell-6581 15d ago

Why the fuck does he keep his eggs like this. And why are there so many.

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u/bobman3563 15d ago

r/milk is leaking

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u/Eoghey 15d ago

Lactose intolerant and loves eggs? Is he an aspiring body builder?

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u/figbott 15d ago

Looks like you made the right decision.

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u/c0gnitivityy 15d ago

Well, he'll never break a bone

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u/Low-Rock6854 15d ago

Why did you date this guy lmfao

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u/nickability 15d ago

He grew up on a farm

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u/MarxistMac 15d ago

Brothers dialed in

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u/Max-Me66 15d ago

Unruly flatulence….. possible homosexual…….

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u/Gothintrovert 15d ago

That milk is disgusting! 🤮

1

u/Stizz83 15d ago

That guy eggs.