And then they criticize younger generations for waiting a long time to get married. Because many of us wait till we find someone we actually are happy to be with, actually care deeply about, and really can't imagine ever wanting to be without, instead of just picking the best option we can find by our mid 20's.
"You might get too old and be single forever" they'll warn, even while demonstrating that being with the wrong person is worse than being single. And you can meet someone at any age anyway, especially if you don't have hangups about being their first.
I agree. I am very happy I have my kids. But the costs and benefits are so huge and personal no one can say if it’s worth it to someone else.
But the thing is, I’m happy with my life. I definitely feel like I’ve seen a pattern where the ones who push it the hardest are the most miserable. If they can get someone else to agree with their choice they feel reassured.
Many boomers and earlier generations got married because “that was you were supposed to do.” Fast forward to today, these people are coming out as LGBTQIA+ and hate their marriages.
Life is about survival. Once you've figured that out and you have the want and time then sure pursue happiness.
Modern generations think it's priority one because things are a lot easier now. They don't realize that we're 1 significant world war or natural disaster from having to find fresh water and hunt.
Let the Internet, water supply, or electricity go out nationwide for a week or two and see if happiness is still the first priority.
You do know what a right is, ye? It means something you are permitted by default? The right to the pursuit of happiness doesn't mean "Eh, once you're 65 and all your best labor years are behind you, maybe you can try and be happy in life." The right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness means that it should be the goal of a nation that your right to try to live in a way that makes you happy be as universally permitted as your right to live at all. To say otherwise is thinking in reverse.
But I'm getting the feeling I'm talking to this sub's subject, not its intended audience.
I'm just telling you what life is about. Survival.
Also the founding fathers aren't the end all be all. Just 7 old white dudes that would have thought I was a slave. That's also in a document written for one country on the planet.
My advice works for ANYONE ANYWHERE. Not just Americans.
We all need food, water, and shelter to (wait for it...) SURVIVE.
You can not live off of happiness. It is secondary. Once you have figured out how to survive then and only then do you get a chance at pursuing happiness.
Lol this is why depression, anxiety, and suicide rates are so high. You all think life is about happiness so when you find out that it's not you don't know how to move forward.
You need a significant other, you need children, you need to work, you need to be a productive member of society. Happiness is optional.
See I thought you were on a point about Maslow's hierarchy of needs and that... Kinda, made sense, afterall, you're right, you can't live off happiness but you also aren't going to be happy if your basic needs aren't met. On the flip side, once you obtain a basic need (example, buying a house and having a stable living situation) you're going to be happy. Survival and happiness are linked because success releases dopamine. What you're talking about is satisfaction and contentment, living up to your full potential, a life well lived, well fought, and one you worked hard for, THAT is optional. And THAT doesn't (nessicarily) come from any of this:
You need a significant other, you need children, you need to work, you need to be a productive member of society. Happiness is optional.
No. Just, no. Because you don't actually care about the individuals survival, clearly, you care about societies survival as a whole. You DO NOT need children or to be a "productive member of society" to be happy, much less survive. However, for society to continue on, you need to. Personally, I don't give a shit about our society and having kids would make me miserable, so by "surviving" I'd be making my life hell. How many other people feel this way but instead they focus on following the rules of survival? How many end up so miserable that they make fun of random strangers for being scared of the dark?
You talked about how everyone grew up thinking life was about being happy and, when they found out it wasn't, it lead to mass depression and anxiety. I'd argue it's the opposite, I grew up thinking life would only ever be survival and, at 20, when I realized it didn't have to be that way, my depression anxiety cured itself (okay, fine, it was the Adderall for my ADHD). BUT it wasn't until I stopped caring about societies version of survival that I actually started to have some fun.
This guy's comments scream of "I was forced to live this way so everyone else needs to as well". Probably secretly gets angry when he sees someone younger who's happy with life and living just fine, so the only way he can cope is by doubling down that he's right and they're wrong.
I actually agree with your points, and they remind me of a Schopenhauer quote I thought would be worth sharing:
"There is only one inborn error, and that is the notion that we exist in order to be happy... So long as we persist in this inborn error... the world seems to us full of contradictions. For at every step, in things great and small, we are bound to experience that the world and life are certainly not arranged for the purpose of maintaining a happy existence... hence the countenances of almost all elderly persons wear the expression of what is called disappointment."
Really mad? That's a reach. I'm not cursing or anything. Upset maybe and that's only after people commented that I'm wrong. I'm not.
And it's not about marriage itself. It's the concept of life. It's about survival and not being happy. Marriage is just apart of that and happens to be the subject here.
We need someone to spend our lives with and to have children with. That is usually associated with marriage.
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u/unlockdestiny Apr 10 '24
Why do they even get married?