r/simpleliving • u/Impermanentlyhere • Apr 08 '24

Living simply, with ADHD. Seeking Advice

How does one shift towards a more simple life with dopamine seeking behaviours/habits caused by ADHD? Can anyone relate? I hyperfixate on the next expensive skin product or gym class or influencer or kitchen appliance that I think will make my life better and it all adds up to mental and physical clutter. I have too many possessions and it never feels like enough- I really want to minimise but then I’ll go through a low season and impulse buy more. My brain feels like it wasn’t built in way that’s conducive to a slow, grateful life. It’s always, “what’s next” can anyone relate?

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u/autodidact-polymath Apr 08 '24

I shifted all my focus to repairing and refinishing.

I also have a shit ton of tools and like to repair, refurbish, renew different items to make them mine.

All my furniture is refinished and some pieces are customized even further for me.

I buy used/refurbished and I follow a unique mantra.

The best (non-electronic) stuff was built before 2005. Kitchenware, real wood furniture, cars, etc.

So, go look for that stuff.

Go to Goodwill and find the heaviest silverware, or go to an estate sale and find really nice pots, pans, knives. Find real wood furniture and get some sandpaper, stain and finish. 

Lastly, use technology to make your hobbies more sustainable. Between buying used on eBay, to using Chat GPT to give you tips for how to build a 100% organic garden bed.

It is not about mindless consumption, but find the stuff that you really WANT to have that you never thought to buy used. 

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u/Open-Article2579 Apr 08 '24 edited Apr 08 '24

Yes. I agree. This is the way. I’ve realized I need new activity every half hour or so, not necessarily new objects.

I mend all our clothing, rugs, towels, etc. I darn socks. I sew, crochet and knit. I have 4-5 projects going at any one time so I can move around and keep my activity fresh. I explore all the various techniques and use a lot of color.

Also yard maintenance is a dopamine chase for me. I reward myself with 2 or 3 plants a year if I keep up with the ones in place.

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '24

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u/deltajayne Apr 08 '24

I plan more projects (fiber or otherwise) than I ever actually start on. The planning is like 70% of the fun.

(Other 20% of the fun is actually purchasing, and then 5% is doing The Thing.)

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '24

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u/bleakj Apr 08 '24

What's Ravelry?

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '24

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u/bleakj Apr 08 '24

Whenever I look at crochet I always think "I could never ever figure this out."

(I've got multiple university degrees mind you.)

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '24

[deleted]

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u/Strange-Bee5626 Apr 11 '24

I've never tried knitting before, but it looks difficult to me. I do know how to crochet pretty well, though.

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u/SaxyChick76 Apr 09 '24

I actually figured it out easier than knitting. Had a hecka time teaching myself to knit abs now I do both. I think the tricky part with crochet is knowing where to put the next stitch, but this also makes it more versatile to create fun and different shapes vs just boring flat or round things. I'm often freestyling some kind of bag or pouch for something... dominoes bag. DSLR lens pouches, dishcloths, cat bed...

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u/bleakj Apr 09 '24

I've had family try to show me, I think my arts and crafts skills are just severely limited, my hands just don't do the things right lol

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u/bleakj Apr 08 '24

I absolutely LOVE the planning phase, and will plan things out to every detail possible

It's the damned doing...

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u/Fuckburpees Apr 08 '24

This is such good advice because it root of the issue rather than trying to gloss over the difficulty of being low dopamine. 

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u/AfroTriffid Apr 08 '24

Sewing and gardening and preserving food are all amazing for hyperfixations because there are so many nuances and applications.

My only ADHD tip is to keep to a monthly budget. I'm allowed to task switch only if I'm sticking to my budget.

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u/sirrush7 Apr 08 '24

Jfc this is amazing advice! I just realized I've been doing this with limited things of interest in my life but could focus these efforts on more useful things.

Starting for myself, with gardening! Going to get the garden parts and boards I've piled in the shed for the past year and actually have Chat GPT help me make my first garden!

Thank you!

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u/Clever_Quail Apr 08 '24 edited Apr 08 '24

https://beyondbehnkes.com/how-to-create-natural-edging/

The natural edge is free, easy to maintain, and can be easily changed - highly recommend. Arborist mulch is better for the earth than using chunks of bark, and also is free from most cities/county piles. And when I feel like going to get coffee I just go to the garden center and impulse buy a plant that I want, it cost the same as Starbucks and gives me way more days fun.

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u/frescapades Apr 08 '24

I like gardening bc it helps to quiet all the chaos in my mind for a while. Not much else does that (that I’ve found so far.)

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u/holdonwhileipoop Apr 08 '24

Great answer!! Permaculture, zero waste, fermenting & preserving foods have all come in handy for me, as well. I joined a few local FB groups to share & barter supplies, tools, plants/seeds/seedlings, info & assistance.

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u/kaekiro Apr 08 '24

Are you me? Lol.

Also adhd, I also do preserving, permaculture gardening, as well as repairing clothes, upcycling as much as possible, and trying to be more independent in general.

It keeps my mind busy & gives the dopamine. I especially like visible repairs by making cute lil flowers or pizza etc!

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '24

I knew I was onto something

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u/holdonwhileipoop Apr 09 '24

If there's a zombie apocalypse, I'll be just fine.

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '24

You’ll be the place everyone wants to come and get shelter and food! Which can be a good or bad thing lol

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u/remindsmeofbae Apr 08 '24

I always hear that old cars are more sturdy. But, what about ABS (anti lock breaking system)? How is the safety features like airbag? Can we install them in old cars? Sorry for silly questions, I seriously am curious.

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u/toews-me Apr 08 '24

Cars about the only exception to this rule. Older vehicles were generally NOT designed with the occupant in mind and there have been a myriad of safety improvements over the years. You can buy used if you're not feeling the new car thing, but definitely do your research if safety is a major concern for you. Source: I work for an automotive brand who's whole selling point is the safety of their vehicles.

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u/autodidact-polymath Apr 08 '24

I specifically stick with 1990-2005 Honda and Toyota vehicles.

They have ABS, airbags and and fuel injection. They also don’t have a lot of computers or complicated electronics.

They are sustainable because they are already here, very easy and cheap to work on and the components that are now part of planned obsolescence were still made for the long haul then (metal valve covers and fuel rails).

I’m not saying go back to the 60s. I’m saying go with what has lasted the test of time. 

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u/remindsmeofbae Apr 08 '24

How do I check if they have them? Do they have lights for both in the dash board?

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u/autodidact-polymath Apr 09 '24

Yes on ABS, it will be on the dash when you turn the key.

Airbags will be stamped as SRS (sudden restraint system).

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u/joewillhatch Apr 08 '24

Old cars are more heavy (think big “boats” from 70s-90s) but not necessarily more safe, new cars are designed to crumple at high speed collisions and keep the cabin/occupants cushioned. Driving the heavier/older car will cause more damage to the lighter plastic car, but may also kill the occupants of the plastic car it collides with because the force isn’t being reduced by “crumpling” on impact. So may be “safer for me” but not other drivers.

Lastly, trees tend not to move an inch when you hit them so you absorb all the impact on your seatbelt are without an airbag.

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u/holdonwhileipoop Apr 08 '24

I have a 1997 Toyota that looks almost new and has airbags. I don't know about ABS. Never had it, lol. I doubt it would be worth it to install either aftermarket. Older cars do have their drawbacks, though. Some companies won't insure cars older than 20 years old and you can't get any type of Amazon or Uber gigs.

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u/SuburbanSubversive Apr 08 '24

Newer cars are much, much safer than older cars because of better design & safety features. There's a great crash test video showing a 2009 Chevy Malibu vs 1959 Chevy Bel-Air offset head-on collision (crash test with dummies) that illustrates this point.

 The video is a little intense - it shows the crash in real time & in slow motion from different angles, but it's really interesting. I know which vehicle I'd rather be in. Here's the link: https://youtu.be/KB6oefRKWmY?si=w4l1-ail_vRmrL4t

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u/Busy-Understanding93 Apr 08 '24

I circumvent this by knowing how to drive.

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u/remindsmeofbae Apr 08 '24

I actually learnt to drive in a car without ABS. One has to hold-release-hold-release the brake to prevent the car from slipping and locking during breaking. I have used it even in a situation where a long lorry/truck didn't see me and came sideways towards me. I applied the break. The car started rotating. I used the technique. Now, I drive a car with ABS and air bags. Do you know that technique?

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u/nofourh Apr 08 '24

This. My main focus is electronic stuff, and I can tell you all the best stuff there is from the 1970’s and before where applicable. That would be appliances, vacuums, stereos, fixtures, etc as long as you’re willing to give it a once over for safety. Obviously if a function didn’t exist back then, a newer option must be selected. But for me that’s really only my phone, my pc, and my tv as well as a few things plugged into the tv.

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u/Roso567 Apr 08 '24

this is my dream. just had a long talk last night about how i think having a domain to take care of would help me take care of myself better. its a tough spot to be in while living in a small apartment

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u/lisalovv Apr 08 '24

You're just telling OP to buy more things from different stores?

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u/Icy-Mixture-995 Apr 09 '24

This can lead to having too much stuff and feeling overwhelmed. I agree about looking for quality, but OP needs a brain shift to something other than acquisition.

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u/autodidact-polymath Apr 09 '24

Good point.

I follow a “minimalist lifestyle” so when I find something quality, I donate or sell something of less quality to someone else.

However, to your point, if minimalism isn’t practiced it can turn to hoarding.

So yeah, good point and something that I missed due to my own perspective, not considering that others may not practice minimalism like I do.

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u/KingNeuron Apr 08 '24

How do you sift through the things because I’ve always been interested in

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u/KingNeuron Apr 08 '24

What do you do with the things

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u/autodidact-polymath Apr 09 '24

Sometimes keep them. Sometimes sell them. Depends on how much I like the end result.

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u/HerculePoirot306 Apr 08 '24

Can you message me your mantra?