r/povertyfinance 19h ago

My last Christmas in a home! Vent/Rant (No Advice/Criticism!)

[deleted]

118 Upvotes

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233

u/Brainfoggish 14h ago

I say this with kindness, but you need to find work to help your mom. You seem intelligent from your post history. You don’t mention what mental health issues you have, and I’m not trying to be an ablest as I recognize disability comes in all forms. If you want to discuss your circumstances we could perhaps recommend types of jobs to apply for. If depression and anxiety is the issue, I strongly recommend a task oriented job.

Also I recommend you start selling stuff such as your ps5 or whatever other set up you may have. Whatever you can to bring in extra cash. You will need it for the deposit or application fees on your next rental.

You don’t mention if you are an adult. If you are an adult, then start thinking of ways you can personally contribute to help solve the problem.

37

u/sadrussianbear 13h ago

Was about to say the same things.

26

u/QueensPetOH 10h ago

Also pets have to go because they are a cost to your budget and will make it harder to find a new and affordable rental.

Sorry but you're not in a position to have pets.

22

u/UWO_Throw_Away 10h ago

It’s a harsh but unpleasant truth that OP is not in a position to have pets. I hate the idea of innocents dogs and cats being rehomed but it would be in their best interest if OP can’t afford to care for them (e.g., food, vet bills, warmth).

Please don’t just abandon them on the street but take them to an animal shelter (even better if you can find someone with a big heart to take care of them)

10

u/QueensPetOH 9h ago

Totally agree. To abandon pets is literally scummy behavior.

Do it the right way and find someone to care for them til you're back on your feet.

Pets are a luxury and your budget and housing situation don't allow for luxuries rn.

68

u/Comfortable-Rate497 14h ago

If you’re as disabled as him - you work on getting disability - it won’t be much but something.

With no lease - there isn’t a ton of room. He sold the place. He may have had to sell due to own personal issues

52

u/Alive-OVERTIIME-247 18h ago

I'm sorry you are going through this, especially this time of year. Unfortunately because you don't have a lease, they can ask you to leave, but I would tell the new owner you need more time.

If y'all can, start looking into applying for low income housing wait lists, sometimes they will move homeless families to the top of the list. Also see if y'all can do an emergency section 8 housing application with the state housing authority. Apply for emergency housing assistance with your local Department of children and family services. If you get denied, you can take it to places like Salvation Army, Community Action Agency, or United Way for help. It's a long tedious process, but don't give up.

47

u/Crab-Turbulent 19h ago

It's why I wish I owned my home, being able to get evicted over something that is not your fault and out of your control is so frustrating and extremely scary. At least when you own your place, you know beforehand that you won't be able to afford your mortgage. But you can't possibly guess what a landlord has planned for the home you live in. Selling it or kicking you out because they want to live there instead etc, you can't ever truly know what's waiting for you around the corner when it comes to renting.

9

u/Electrical_Gap_230 15h ago

Side note: depending on your mortgage, the bank might require your insurance, and taxed gets bundled in with your mortgage until you own the house out right. Your taxes and insurance can go up and make your mortgage price increase and make your mortgage unaffordable.

However, this significantly beats the uncertainty of renting

31

u/Crab-Turbulent 19h ago

AND don't get me started on the whole 'if you own your place, you have to pay for things to be fixed' bs when my landlord refuses to fix very urgent things that affect the quality of life and the condition of the flat (even though I reported it for 4 years) and instead during flat inspection, the agency go around judging my decoration taste and 'clutter'

19

u/Takemyfishplease 19h ago

Agreed. I’d much rather pay to fix things I own then have to beg someone to fix their things I need and am indirectly paying for.

Unless you buy a wreck of a home, or have an insanely locked in rental agreement I don’t really see how it’s even a comparison, especially long term.

And the sweetness of eventually not having a mortgage? Lord above it’s a dream.

11

u/PurpleMangoPopper 17h ago

My first year in my house, all major systems failed. There was no landlord to call. Thank goodness for home warranties. Reddit hates them, but they worked well for me.

7

u/Crab-Turbulent 18h ago

Yeah it's been frustrating having those buffoons in the flat, taking photos of the flooring for the past 4 years, each time the landlord refuses to do anything. Finally does something after I complain due to an injury from the hole. Get told the landlord was shitting on me to the contractor and the agency the whole time. Refuses to fix the other holes even though I point them out. Refuses to close up a hole where rats and mice were coming through and had to chase up and demand for a week. It's really embarrassing the amount of begging and chasing and phone calls and yet it still hasn't been fixed entirely. And they still do flat inspections while refusing to fix the stuff that need to be fixed, instead they complain about my grey couch being ugly and trying to say I caused a hole between the living room and bedroom, which is actually the space for the sliding door to close and open....

7

u/Writingmama2021 17h ago

THIS!!! I’ve rented for over 20 years and every rental I’ve lived at, I’ve wound up paying for maintenance and repairs the LL should’ve paid for.

3

u/[deleted] 19h ago

[deleted]

5

u/Crab-Turbulent 19h ago

Yeah and here you can try and work things out with the landlord, but they can go to the high court behind your back and get you evicted without notice. I've seen cases where the tenants paid on time (which was acknowledged in the show) and caused no issues, but because the landlord wanted to move back in, they had bailiffs on their door and only 1 hour to pack essentials and leave. Like how ridiculous and horrifying these things are allowed to continue

5

u/Spirited-Fishing5456 9h ago

If you can work a game controller you can find a basic job .

4

u/HeftyResearch1719 15h ago

Do contact a tenant rights lawyer. Depending on jurisdiction, you may be legally within your rights to stay longer. To get a new place, you don’t want an eviction. However, the eviction takes a long time, it can take many months for an eviction to process through the courts. This gives you negotiating power as a tenant. You can simply refuse to move and don’t pay rent meanwhile, it will give you time to find a place. They are just hoping you move with no pushback.

16

u/littleheaterlulu 14h ago

This is a bad idea for a few reasons. Of course, an eviction can take months but in most places it doesn't take months - in many places it only takes 30 days (or fewer).

And once the papers are filed with the court, even if the case never goes to court, then that will come up on OPs background check and limit their options for getting other rentals in the future. So it's better to not screw around with it.

2

u/PurpleMangoPopper 17h ago

Ask for an additional 30 days.

-1

u/[deleted] 17h ago

[deleted]

12

u/littleheaterlulu 14h ago

They may not have a choice because a lot of mortgages require that you move in within 60 days of the closing date.

-2

u/Last_Entertainer_136 15h ago edited 11h ago

Can they evict you without notice now? I know they use to have to give a reasonable notice before.Yeh it’s scary

4

u/Crab-Turbulent 15h ago

Yeah there’s no fault evictions. I guess there is some form of notice but it’s meaningless in the face of the rental market crisis currently going on

0

u/Last_Entertainer_136 14h ago

Is this what n usa ? Are some states eorse than others ? Sorry I’m from U.K. & Ireland so just curious

3

u/littleheaterlulu 14h ago

Yes, the landlord-tenant laws are all different by state, sometimes the cities within a state are even different from one another.

0

u/Last_Entertainer_136 13h ago

Ah I see. Any that are going through a particular bad time ? I get the impression California? Could be wrong

70

u/Djohns1465 15h ago

What kind of mental illness do you have that you can’t hold down a job?

70

u/No_Practice_970 14h ago

Yes, I can't imagine what this poor mom is going through being the only one working, trying to find another place to live, and 3 animals in the mix.

52

u/Djohns1465 14h ago

I am not trying to be mean to the OP but it just surprises me that one person has a job in the family. Yet, they can get on Reddit and make a coherent post about their situation. I know people suffer from mental illness ( like anxiety and such) but your literally sitting there letting your parents about to put on the streets and your not going to try and do something about it?!

I would cut the 3 animals out ASAP. Put them in rescues or other non kill shelters. Animals are a luxury and need to be taken care of properly, which is expensive.

30

u/RedChairBlueChair123 13h ago

Well, they have a PS 5, a PS 3, and an Xbox and computer, but their disability means they can’t work.

23

u/Routine_Log8315 13h ago

Well if that’s true, OP could actually sell them all and pay their share of the new rent for a couple of months.

25

u/Responsible-Log-2662 15h ago

Yes, I’d work on this. Going from one income to two seems necessary.

17

u/QueensPetOH 10h ago

Try 3.

Mom's work income, dad's legit disability, and OP's sucking it up and getting a damn job makes 3 incomes.

2

u/WelderAggravating896 3h ago

The kind of mental illness where the person just doesn't want to work and is perfectly comfortable not working, apparently.

13

u/speak_ur_truth 10h ago

You need to work or get disability. Anything else is just unfair to your mum trying to support you. Are you an adult of working age?

9

u/Powerful_Lettuce_838 15h ago

Do a search for local animal rescue. Rescues can help find temporary care taker for your animals until you get on your feet. Or even consider making a post asking for temporary homes for your animal. Reach out to churches for help. It might be a waste of time but then again it might get you help.

39

u/Maleficent-Music6965 14h ago

Get a job. Even if it’s fast food. No excuses

26

u/nolsongolden 16h ago

Hopefully you have a car. Surrender your pets. Get a job or go to school so you can contribute.

I'm so sorry life is so hard but it is about to get harder for you and you need to decide you can work. Go to school. They'll give you money to go.

Good luck.

16

u/sammieebaby 18h ago

Call 211. They will give you resources in your area for help with housing.

13

u/Writingmama2021 17h ago

Check your state laws to make sure you’re not entitled to more than 30 days. In NY for example, if you’ve lived there more than 2 years you would have 90 days.

0

u/LyannaSerra 15h ago

Also if they are in a lease and not month to month, most places the new owner would still need to honor the lease terms and they would only have to move out once it expires, or the new owner could incentivize them to move out sooner.

14

u/galaxystarsmoon 15h ago

OP said they're month to month.

3

u/LyannaSerra 15h ago

Ah I missed that thanks.

10

u/oregon_deb 17h ago

Verify local laws. In my area landlords have to give 60 days notice. If you find your landlord is required to give more than 30 days, tell them you will leave by 'X' date based on the law. Send this response as a certified letter. If they start eviction proceedings you will have proof they received the letter.

Did your parents pay first and last months rent when they moved in? If so, your parents should tell the new owners they will be out the end of January since they paid first and last when they moved in. This is assuming December's rent has already been paid. Instead of agreeing to the extension, the new owner may offer to refund the previously paid last months rent.

Regardless of any of this, start looking for a new place and packing.

4

u/Paperwithwordsonit 11h ago

I don't know where you live but in my country social workers can help you with stuff like that.

Maybe look into social workers/institutions in your area and ask if they could help.

7

u/I_waterboard_cats 19h ago

I know you’re just venting and your situation right now is insanely stressful.

Once you guys pull through and find a way, which I know you guys will even if there’s a period of struggle.

Hope you look back on this one day as an insanely valuable moment of “holy shit, I will NEVER relive this insanely stressful moment in my life again”

I hope you can find work that can help elevate you and your family and can keep them out of this situation from happening again.  It sounds like you need to be the adult in your home

2

u/Wanderingirl17 12h ago

If first and last month’s rent was paid tit he previous owner when you all moved in, they should check with a tenant rights association to see if that is still owed to them. That may help with money for a move.

1

u/WelderAggravating896 3h ago

Respectfully, you guys can't handle the pets and at least one of you needs to work between you and your dad. Look into options for your specific situation, or it will get worse.

1

u/Broad-Shoe7092 2h ago edited 2h ago

Yes, the situation is awful and you need to process that before you will be able to do much else. It sounds like you are doing that since you made this post. Of course you already know that stress only makes mental issues worse so please try to take care of yourself as best as you can. You said the letter came on the 10th so half of the time has already passed and I'm sure that has you all even more stressed. I know everyone has been saying get a job and of course that would help tremendously but no one knows what your mental issues are and if that is just not going to happen now, then it's not and move forward in whatever ways you all can.

I wish I could say I hear you and know would you like advice because sometimes a rant is just that, but a little advice. You all have a short time. Don't feel you need to find another residence that is comparable to the house you were renting. You are in a crisis situation and you just need a place that you can afford for now. That might be something very small and not in a great area. It might be an apartment. I know everything is more expensive but unless you are already in the cheapest part of your area, there is likely to be a cheaper area that you hadn't ever thought about before. Remember it's temporary and you all can take the time to find something else once you aren't in crisis anymore.

It sounds like there is money coming in so worse comes to worse, you can stay in a hotel. It's not ideal at all but it's better than the streets, although it will eat up money you could be saving so make that the last option.

If you have a car, drive around and look for for rent signs. Those landlords tend to only have a few rentals and can make quick decisions (not the signs from rental companies or real estate companies).

Get on the housing lists for Section 8 when it opens. It may take years to actually get it but that's OK. I don't know about your state but there are actually quite a few apartments being built that are restricted to lower incomes. They run lower than regular rates, but they are much more than public housing or subsidized housing.

Last suggestion. If you can't work for whatever reason right now, take steps to get there. Are you getting consistent treatment for your mental issues. Agressively work on stabilizing your condition as much as you can. Sometimes we know we have a problem and accept it and stop there. Don't stop at saying you have mental issues. Make it your job to improve that situation. Perhaps find a program that can help with treatment and work training, or join a counseling group and make that your goal, or see your therapist more often and find a part time job with a few hours a week just to start and take on more hours later,, or whatever steps you think you can take to improve your situation and lower your dependence on your parents.

Also do whatever you can to help prepare for the move. It is so hard when you are in this situation but avoiding it will not make it go away and only make you feel even less in control. Get packed up. If possible, get rid of whatever you can. I moved quite a few times and always got a big storage with up to a big payment every month. The last time, I moved out of town and roomed with a friend for a while. I got rid of all my furniture and packed almost everything else in bins. It made it so much easier. I had the smallest unit with a very small monthly payment. I didn't miss the furniture at all and moved everything in my car. You may not need a storage unit and may not want to get rid of all your furniture but keep it in mind.

If you need money for a security deposit, consider selling the furniture and anything else you can. It can be replace d and as long as you have a roof over your head, you won't mind sitting on the floor.

Finally reach out and find out if there is any money available for moving out on time. Some banks and property companies pay to make sure that tenants move out in a timely manner. They may be willing to do so but don't offer it unless they see a need to. If it's just a private buyer, then maybe not but I would still ask and probably on both ends, the current landlord and if you have information on the buying party. Per online search "politely explain that you are aware the property has been sold and inquiring about the possibility of receiving a relocation assistance fee or "cash for keys" to help cover your moving costs". Check your state laws first because even with a month to month lease some states still require longer than 30 days notice, especially if the sale was due to foreclosure. Also, although I am not giving any specific advice on this, the notice to vacate is not an eviction. An eviction, would have to go through the courts before a legally assisted forced move, would take place. I am not saying stick around until the last minute for that to happen or to use it as a threat, simply that it's in everyone's interest to offer a "cash for keys" to ensure a timely move out.

Vent, stress, grieve, whatever you need to do and then sit down with your parents, research your rights, and make a plan. Hopefully things will work out OK.

1

u/Tumbled61 18h ago

Ask for an extra 2 weeks as you are looking

0

u/[deleted] 18h ago

[deleted]

12

u/Spirited-Fishing5456 9h ago

Why can't you get a job and help out ?

12

u/amidtheprimalthings 8h ago

Maaaany people have asked this, as well as pointed out how OP somehow can afford four gaming systems (Xbox, PS5, PS3, and PS2) and is healthy enough to play those 24/7 but they can’t get a job and contribute? Sus.

0

u/GothWitchOfBrooklyn 4h ago

I mean.. you can't really count ps3/ps2. The ps3 release date was 2006.... ps2 was 2000. Those are 20+ years old.. they aren't expensive.

Ps5 sure.

2

u/Handbag_Lady 13h ago

They might not be in their legal right to only give you 30 days, you or your parents need to find out the law. You DO NOT want to get evicted, but you should take what the law says you're owed.

1

u/Mis_en_FL4T 18h ago

Holy shit, thats sounds awful. I know this is just venting, but im pullin for ya. Sending you all the best vibes. If you need help, please reach out on here somewhere, there are people that care!!

-5

u/PhillipTopicall 14h ago

Is it legal to only provide 30 days eviction notice? I’d double check that. Because here it’s min 3 months. At worst, nothing changes. At best you get some extra time.

13

u/CC_206 13h ago

It isn’t an eviction, the landlord is simply choosing not to renew the month to month agreement. If they don’t leave as required, eviction proceedings could start.

-7

u/PhillipTopicall 12h ago

This is considered a type of eviction where I live. I’d check the laws regardless. Why take no action?

CHECK YOUR LAWS!!! I urge you!!

-28

u/[deleted] 15h ago

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2

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