r/povertyfinance • u/gta757 • 1d ago

Poverty at the holidays. Vent/Rant (No Advice/Criticism!)

Christmas sucked. I wasn't able to purchase gifts seriously. I am in debt out my ears. I don't want to ever be homeless so I out everything into making sure I have a roof over my head. I get tired of people telling me Christmas is about the Lord and Savior. WTF does that have to do with no money? Am I am bitter...I guess. Sorry for the rant but poverty is the only thing I know that risk real these days.

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u/kerfuffle_fwump 1d ago edited 1d ago

Christmas has zero to do with money. Gifts are just gestures of appreciation. That can also be conveyed by writing a letter, talking on the phone, visiting, or helping someone with chores. Giving the gift of your time will always mean more.

If it helps, just ask friends/family ahead of time if they would prefer to skip gifts and do something else. You’d be surprised how many people will agree and would rather just get together for cookies and a little wine.

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u/gta757 1d ago

It has everything to do with money in my family. Literally everything. It's why I have debt. I have tried for years to make my mother happy and she never is. People literally talking smack to me and about me all day today. My mother wasn't happy with her homemade mother's day gift and she thought I'd be making it up with a big Xmas present. 

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u/VickeyBurnsed 1d ago

Time to go low contact or no contact for a couple of Christmases.

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u/gta757 1d ago

You may be right. I don't like the way this had me feel at all. I didn't do anything to be nasty, I couldn't afford the extras this year. That's it. 

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u/VickeyBurnsed 1d ago

You don't deserve to be treated in such a manner. Next Christmas, give yourself the gift of staying the hell away from them. Treat yourself to something nice. Even if it's just a favorite food. You are not obligated to have anything to do with them. Ever, if that's what you choose.

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u/Inevitable-Place9950 1d ago

And you were smart to not let that pressure force you into further financial difficulty. I’m so sorry you had this experience. I hope your luck changes and that you find people to spend Xmas with that value your talents and presence.

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u/2much4meeeeee 1d ago

A few years ago, my sister had a windfall & was a millionaire overnight. I work my ass off for the very little bit of money I have. My family is aware of this yet after gifts were done & everyone said good night, my mom texted me and said “is that very thoughtful gift the only thing you gave to your sister?”. I swear I could hear the judgement through the phone. I answered that I owe my sister $400 & I’m sure she’d rather have it in cash than a few more gifts that I can’t afford. Definitely know the feeling!