r/funny • u/twostripeduck • Aug 20 '21
Spider be gettin' down with it.
Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification
4.1k
u/Not_A_Comeback Aug 21 '21
This is how you become a daddy strong leg.
1.7k
u/richy923 Aug 21 '21
Damn, now this has me wondering:
Would a spider do push-ups or squats?
187
u/MrFluffyThing Aug 21 '21
Does the spider wear the pants on only the back two legs or all 8? I'd say since they're all legs, it's squat day.
→ More replies107
u/Stickguy259 Aug 21 '21
This kind of question is exactly how America's enemies would distract the internet for 2 days, I'm on to you!
25
11
u/Creepinbruh2323 Aug 21 '21
I sleep better knowing citizens like you are keeping us safe. Thank you for your service :')
244
u/flyovertwice Aug 21 '21
Yes
34
Aug 21 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
28
u/AcrimoniousTurpin Aug 21 '21
Maybe
→ More replies18
u/wowpepap Aug 21 '21
I don't know
30
u/Monday-FridayPlane Aug 21 '21
Could you repeat the question?
24
u/CmdrWoof Aug 21 '21
You're not the boss of me now
16
57
u/TheExtremistModerate Aug 21 '21
Squats. push-ups require two things: that you push yourself up with your arm(s) and that your legs don't do any of the work. Spiders can do neither of those, as (1) they have no arms to push up with and (2) in order to do it, their legs have to do the work.
Therefore, these are 8-legged squats.
105
Aug 21 '21
Actually spiders do have arms, they are called pedipalps.
They are used to manipulate food and for matings.
Male spiders cum on their hands and then fist the females to reproduce.
116
u/jnics10 Aug 21 '21
1st sentence: "hm, ok..."
2nd sentence: "huh, very interesting..."
3rd sentence: "EXCUSE ME WTF?!"
25
u/TheExtremistModerate Aug 21 '21
Ah, I didn't realize those things were considered arms.
In that case, I'd be really impressed to see a spider push itself up with just its mouth arms.
29
u/alexrabbit929 Aug 21 '21
Meaning spiders don’t actually have 8 legs.
They have 6 legs and two cumfist.
→ More replies13
Aug 21 '21
They still have 8 legs, the 2 cumfists are extra.
6
4
9
u/MinaRomeo Aug 21 '21
Where does the cum come from? Do they reach around the back or...?
20
Aug 21 '21
They rub themselves on a piece of webbing like a jizz rag
13
7
→ More replies3
29
u/tw3lv3l4y3rs0fb4c0n Aug 21 '21
To be precise, it's 7-legged squats, this poor fella lost one leg.
15
12
u/SuddenlyFlamingos Aug 21 '21
Daddy wrong legs :(
→ More replies3
→ More replies3
44
→ More replies7
34
→ More replies15
1.2k
u/Lord_Ashelyon Aug 21 '21
Okay but like, what is he actually doing tho? Other than crack.
1.5k
Aug 21 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
1.1k
u/contrabardus Aug 21 '21 edited Aug 21 '21
It's actually defensive and not a threat display.
They do this on their webs and it makes them hard to see as it shakes the web so fast that the spider becomes difficult to pinpoint or even see once they really get going.
The spider isn't trying to scare you off when it does this, it's trying to hide by moving quickly so it's less visible.
The little spider brain doesn't quite compute that it's not as effective when it's not on a web.
A threat display would be front legs up and fangs forward trying to make itself look bigger and as dangerous as it can.
EDIT:
Several people seem to be confused by it, but yes, these spiders do make and live in webs.
They just don't use them as snares the way most spiders do and leave their homes to actively hunt. They mostly eat other spiders and their eggs. [Volume warning for sudden and obnoxiously loud music halfway through. It's the best "right to the point" video I could find though.]
This does not mean they won't eat things that get caught in their web, they absolutely will. It's just not their primary method of catching food.
The other type of arachnid that is commonly called a "daddy long legs" are called Harvestmen, and they are not true spiders, don't make webs, and are mostly scavengers and don't produce venom.
That, and that cellar spiders are often seen off of their webs because they are hunting, is probably where the confusion about them making webs comes from.
They definitely do, and live in them when they aren't actively hunting.
That one doesn't look exactly like the one in OP's clip, but this is because there are over 1,800 different types of cellar spider/daddy long legs. All of which make webs.
Also, here's a video of a cellar spider vibrating on a web since several commenters have asked about it.
239
u/Wooshio Aug 21 '21 edited Aug 21 '21
That makes a lot more sense. Evolution wise it really wouldn't make sense for spiders to develop physical intimidation skills to scare off large animals, it just wouldn't be effective. Ironically they scare most people anyway, but that's a different story.
→ More replies76
Aug 21 '21
Depends on the spiders. Tarantulas among others can and will rear up and attempt to threaten, well, threats if they can't get away.
45
u/Wooshio Aug 21 '21
Sure, but that's only a last resort desperation move if they are cornered. They will never see a human or any other larger animal and try to scare it off from approaching is what I mean, like for example a goose will. It's not a survival skill they've developed because it would just get them killed most of the time.
17
→ More replies8
u/cilestiogrey Aug 21 '21
Again, depends on the spider. Not coincidentally, the assholes who readily rear up against larger animals tend to be pretty powerfully venomous. As far as I know. But I do know that it's an instinctive trait for some spiders to shoot first, because they can
→ More replies→ More replies9
Aug 21 '21
Various tarantulas are known to “hiss”.
Of course, it’s always defensive. You have to provoke them.
→ More replies167
u/RalphiesBoogers Aug 21 '21
"I've mastered the ability of moving so incredibly fast... that I become invisible to the eye."
-Spider-Drax
→ More replies7
9
u/JimmyCrackCrack Aug 21 '21
I guess also other than it maybe not realising it doesn't work so well off-web (could you call that offline?), it might also be all it knows how to do even if it can tell it's not really working very well in this context. If I'd undergone some sort of limited training and had go and fight as part of a human invasion force on a planet of giant arachnids and all instruction I received was 'pull this manoeuvre when approached by threats to increase your odds' and then I found myself somehow totally outside of the intended environment where the training made sense you can bet I'd still be bobbing up and down like crazy hoping it'd at least be better than nothing. If there's no other options I'm just going to do the last thing I was taught even if I know it probably won't work.
I know the spider wasn't trained or taught anything and it's more instinctual but my point is it you've got nothing else in your toolkit, you use what you have.
33
u/The_Iowan Aug 21 '21
Interesting. So invisibility isn't that far-fetched an ability for a Spider-Man.
19
Aug 21 '21
I can get with invisible spider man. That's how the fairies in Artemis Fowl become invisible, vibrating so fast they can't be seen. Not sure if that's actually possible though, might also just be a book thing, but it's slightly relevant so there you go.
→ More replies7
u/Iphotoshopincats Aug 21 '21
If you have not seen into the spiderverse firstly your missing out but also there is already a cannoncally? Invisible Spiderman.
17
u/Hubsimaus Aug 21 '21
I remember seeing such a spider doing something similar for the first time.
I was vacuuming the living room and didn't expect to see that spider. So I went and vacuumed a corner and almost dropped the vacuum. I was so scared. 😂 That spider was spinning like mad and I was confused. A while later I asked a teacher why it did that and he told me it's a defense mechanism. This was back in the mid 90s.
I never have been scared that much by a spider before. I also get the chills if I only IMAGINE touching one like this one or any spider bigger than these cute teeny tiny ones that are smaller than a ant.
16
u/jjjjssjsjsjs Aug 21 '21
That's fascinating, do you have any material related to this or is this a "just trust me bro" kind of thing?
23
18
u/contrabardus Aug 21 '21 edited Aug 21 '21
Considering their other common name is "vibrating spiders" I'd have to say it's not "just me bro".
Any search engine will bring up several YT videos showing this behavior.
Just search for "vibrating spider".
It's worth pointing out that cellar/vibrating spiders/daddy long legs are an entire family of over 1,800 different spiders, so the ones in the videos might not look exactly like this one, but the one shown in OP's clip is definitely a Pholcidae and the behavior is very distinctive.
It's also worth pointing out that these are in fact bro spiders that are harmless to humans and should be left alone. They will eat any insect they can catch, but they mostly eat other spiders, including potentially dangerous species with toxic venom.
If you have an issue with funnel-web spiders or something of that nature, releasing a bunch of these in the area can solve the problem.
They also eat each other a lot.
7
u/sansaspark Aug 21 '21
Cellar spiders really are bros. I used to have a couple that lived on the window shade next to my desk at my office. They stayed out of my personal space and caught lots of annoying fruit flies.
One morning I came to work and the cleaning crew had swept up my spiders over the weekend; I never saw them in that corner again. RIP friendly dudes.
13
u/Rhameolution Aug 21 '21
Just googled Spider Whirling and it had some seemingly credible sources. A pdf!
→ More replies5
u/CycadChips Aug 21 '21
Yeah but harvestmen are not true spiders & don't make webs. The daddy long legs thar are true spiders, cellar spiders actually spin under their webs & don't bob up and down.
458
u/False-Badger Aug 21 '21
It’s more cute than threatening. But don’t tell them that. I don’t want them to be disappointed.
266
Aug 21 '21
I told them and they said they hate you.
20
→ More replies37
u/DoorHalfwayShut Aug 21 '21
okay, spider-man
28
Aug 21 '21
And you're just standing there and not taking pictures /u/DoorHalfwayShut? BRING ME PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN OR YOU'RE FIRED!
→ More replies→ More replies9
u/UndBeebs Aug 21 '21
/r/RespectTheHyphen approves of your comment.
6
u/DoorHalfwayShut Aug 21 '21
I typed it without it, thought it looked funny, then I looked it up...what a close call.
22
Aug 21 '21
It's like with uromastyx who do this belly wiggle that's supposed to be a warning to back off but is honestly just adorable as hell.
3
18
u/czegoszczekasz Aug 21 '21
To be honest if I will ever encounter a being that is 3000 times my size I will try to be cute as fuck so they won’t squish me
6
u/Anianna Aug 21 '21
It's like a lion cub trying to look all mean and tough and scary but is just too freaking adorable to be scared of.
9
Aug 21 '21
Wait until you see a big ass yellow garden spider doing it, then it's pretty terrifying.
9
9
→ More replies3
u/ThatIdiotLaw Aug 21 '21
Yeah nah, I opened the picture and ended up shaking my arm as if to get it off of me!
Why is it so big?!
65
u/Lord_Ashelyon Aug 21 '21
That's wild. I get these little dudes in my house all the time and I've never seen that. I kinda want to try and get one to do it now lol.
→ More replies51
Aug 21 '21
Saw it work on a praying mantis. The spider was going mach 5 for 10 minutes before I got bored and wondered off.
95
89
u/DaedalusRaistlin Aug 21 '21
They're usually in their webs when they do this, and it makes their web spin around really quickly. Probably helps to scare off predators, and catch prey by moving the web erraticly. The whole thing moves like someone spinning a hammock.
→ More replies47
u/CaesarScyther Aug 21 '21
Don’t think harvestmen make webs
61
u/Asdemyra Aug 21 '21 edited Aug 21 '21
Harvestman spiders aren't technically the same as daddy long legs. Harvestmen are the grim reaper for bees (grim beeper if you will). Daddy long legs can have webs.
Edit: corrected to harvestmen (removed spider)
22
27
u/AyrA_ch Aug 21 '21
Harvestman spiders aren't technically the same as daddy long legs.
Depends on where you live. Daddy long legs can refer to either of two animals:
Pholcus phalangioides, commonly known as daddy long-legs spider or long-bodied cellar spider, is a spider of the family Pholcidae. [...] Its common name of "daddy long-legs" should not be confused with a different arachnid group with the same common name, the harvestman (Opiliones).
And as if that's not confusing enough, it could also be a Crane fly, or even a plant
→ More replies5
4
u/ShibbyWhoKnew Aug 21 '21
You just call them harvestmen. People often think they are spiders but they actually aren't even closely related to them.
5
3
u/Asdemyra Aug 21 '21
Thank you. I'm so used to putting it there so people know what I'm taking about.
→ More replies3
u/Drenlin Aug 21 '21
I grew up calling harvestmen "daddy long legs" and didn't really have a name for these other than "spider".
→ More replies5
6
u/Moose_Cake Aug 21 '21
The spider worked a 14 hour shift in customer service and is banging his head against the floor.
→ More replies6
→ More replies5
579
u/worldsbiggestchili Aug 21 '21
MC Pee Pants IRL
127
u/maddasher Aug 21 '21
I want candy...
80
u/NiPlusUltra Aug 21 '21
Bubble gum and taffy.
57
u/PraiseTheSun1023 Aug 21 '21
Skip to the sweet shop with my sweetheart Sandy.
49
u/coopgoop Aug 21 '21
Got a penny saved so I’m a sugar daddy
32
u/thelivinlegend Aug 21 '21
I'm her Hume Cronyn, she my Jessica Tandy
15
17
→ More replies7
34
u/Slottech88 Aug 21 '21
Mess up the mix, mix up the mess, come on down yo here's the address at 612 Wharf Avenue. Right next to the gentleman's club.
6
34
u/wildo83 Aug 21 '21
Hey, Which one of you guys has been playing “I LIKE CAAAYNDEE” for a FREAKIN WEEK!?!?
70
u/grimmcild Aug 21 '21
“Look my shniggies, I had a strizoke in my brizain, okay, you know what I'm sayin'? So I can't move all good.”
8
u/Daowg Aug 21 '21
I have that song stuck in my head, and the only way to get it out is to blow it out....WITH A BULLET
4
→ More replies5
u/samsoter Aug 21 '21
"I don't just want candy, I NEED candy. And when you need something, that's a responsibility."
233
u/EarthToAccess Aug 21 '21
I get the stickbug theme in my head while watching this
17
→ More replies8
81
70
55
21
u/CliffCyrus Aug 21 '21 edited Aug 21 '21
When you feel the beat, you gotta dance.
10
u/Upstairs_Usual_4841 Aug 21 '21
For real, that looks like a version of the DeWalt ToughSystem Radio (which attaches to a bomb-ass cooler; I work for a parts distributor and two years ago we got the cooler for a Thanksgiving gift and the stereo for Xmas), and those suckers THUMP.
7
106
u/jagodown Aug 21 '21
Spiders have 8 legs. This guy has 7
184
u/wwabc Aug 21 '21
he was in the war
63
u/batdog666 Aug 21 '21
Don't mention the war
24
u/wwabc Aug 21 '21
I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it all right.
6
→ More replies5
31
29
u/Meet_your_Maker_LL Aug 21 '21
Okay on a serious note and what might be happening. Daddy long legs are closer related to scorpions than spiders. Look up the video on YouTube about daddy long legs and when they lose a leg. They figure out how to move with the inhibition of the lost limb and figure out how to maintain speed and coordination with the disability. So after a while the observers of the study realized that when a daddy long leg looses a limb, it was still able to complete speed courses of distance at the same rates. That might be what we’re seeing is the daddy learning or strengthening itself after losing a leg.
Either that or this thing is getting down with the beata hardcore and vibing like a true daddy.
27
u/pinkie5839 Aug 21 '21
So these things eventually evolve into Starship Troopers bugs. Neil Patrick Harris told me the a bug is still 80% combat effective after losing a limb.
Here's a tip: aim for the brain stem.
Would you like to know more?
→ More replies7
u/Alooffoola Aug 21 '21
Where I’m from we have tons of these and they all bounce like that normally. I think they are harvestman (related to ticks) but I’m not sure. At any rate this is normal behavior for the 2 million or so I’ve seen in my lifetime.
6
u/Drenlin Aug 21 '21
This is a cellar spider, which shares the same nickname.
Harvestmen, on the other hand, are kind of their own category of arachnid...they're as closely related to scorpions and camel spiders as they are to ticks and mites.
→ More replies4
→ More replies4
48
14
u/Gizmo_Joy Aug 21 '21
When you got 45 minutes left on the clock.
"RUNS to show management twerking spider"
30
u/_Guy_Dude_Man_ Aug 21 '21
It is easy doing squats when you have 8 limbs
20
9
u/Ninja_Cat_Mom Aug 21 '21
Is it just me or does that spider only have 7 legs?
7
u/RonnyRoofus Aug 21 '21
You’re right. He has 7. Pretty common for these long legged spiders to lose a limb or 2.
→ More replies
11
u/TheBigDickDon Aug 21 '21
Every time I get bummed with the internet I always remember awesome shiz like this exists lmao.
9
9
10
9
14
16
8
6
3
5
5
9
u/twostripeduck Aug 21 '21
Thanks so much for the upvotes and awards guys! The moment my boys and I spotted this dude, we knew it was golden.
3
u/bragilterman_fresca Aug 21 '21
What is actually going on? What’s the actual explanation for the phenomenon we are witnessing here -
Was the music so loud he’s just vibrating / bouncing with the bass or does he just like the song?
3
u/RJFerret Aug 21 '21
Per other replies above, defense mechanism, done on a web, the whole thing vibrates so hard to see/attack/eat.
3
3
3
3
3
4
u/ItBoilsDownToDope Aug 21 '21
I'm SEVERELY arachnophobic but this is so funny I was actually able to watch the whole thing without screaming and involuntarily throwing my phone in fear. I am very proud of this achievement.
2
2
2
2
u/NightSmudge Aug 21 '21
I would be incredibly happy if this got just as popular as the stickbug meme
2
2
2
u/rileytp Aug 21 '21
I did a report on these guys when I was a kid. If there is a large group of these dudes hanging out together they will shake the bush/tree they are in to scare away the predator. Maybe this one was triggered.
2
2
u/GRMNGRMNGRMN Aug 21 '21
Just wait till you find 100 of them doing it in a pile. Like breathing moss
2
2
2
2
2
u/japezu Aug 21 '21
Just waiting for some scientist to come and ruin the fun by explaining something like "This is clearly a hipuprus rapsus and that is how they eat their children"
2
2
Aug 21 '21
I don't kill spiders when I see them in the house. Always try to capture and release outdoors.
I think of them as little tiny animals and they seem too damn smart to just kill like a bug.
2
u/302-LSD-psychonaut Aug 21 '21
The spider just found out about the New Daddy short Legs science created. Damm shorty
•
u/AutoModerator Aug 20 '21
There have been some changes to how comics are handled on /r/Funny.
Please also keep the following in mind:
Please report rule-breaking content when you see it. Thank you!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.