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u/Dingle_Flingle Dec 02 '24
A greatsword?
Nah, just a great sword.
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u/EtheusProm Dec 03 '24
WIZARD: But he can swing it twice!
BARD: :o17
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u/Head_Project5793 Dec 04 '24
Barbarian: I can do that too while doing extra damage each time
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u/MrSimitschge Dec 05 '24
Fighter: but can you do this?!
heals themself, flips their sword into the air and crits 15% of the time, randomly calls a horse, ...
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u/ElectricPaladin Paladin Dec 02 '24
Oooh, nope. He's swinging it one-handed. It's a bastard sword.
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u/angryungulate Dec 02 '24
His parents are dead, and werent married. Its an orphan's bastard's sword
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u/Euphoric_Search_9499 Dec 03 '24
That would be an orphaned bastard's sword, his parents are the orphans and never married, but they need to still be alive, or it would be an orphan's orphaned bastard's sword
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u/Tall-Bathroom5017 Dec 06 '24
It still remains a bastard sword: An orphan’s orphaned bastard’s bastard sword
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u/jbarrybonds Dec 03 '24
I wish 5e kept the bastard sword, it was my go-to in 3.5
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u/ABHOR_pod Dec 03 '24
Longsword is functionally a bastard sword in 5e since it's versatile and can be used two handed to deal more damage.
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u/UnshrivenShrike Dec 03 '24
What's actually missing is an arming sword
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u/shotgunner12345 Dec 04 '24
Why did the sword require arming? Sounds like it doesn't have a good handle of its situation
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u/Ensorcelled_Atoms Dec 02 '24
Never underestimate a guy who fights so good he’s willing to square up to giants, eldritch horrors and otherworldly entities.
Every fighter I’ve ever played has felt like Big Boss CQCing through a gang of mooks.
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u/roninwarshadow Dec 03 '24 edited Dec 03 '24
One of the things I missed about the older editions of D&D was the definitive class identity.
Like in AD&D 2E, the Fighter was the best warrior on the battlefield, with their Weapon Specializations (+1 to Attack & +2 to Damage, this stacks with other bonuses). Ranged Weapon Specialists also got Point Blank (+2 to Attack at close range depending on the ranged weapon) and all Weapons Specialist got Extra Attack at earlier levels with their preferred weapons.
Paladins and Rangers, while they shared the same THAC0 with the Fighter, didn't get Weapon Specialization as it was a Fighter only feature.
Monks and Barbarians didn't exist as an actual class until late in the AD&D 2E life cycle, but they didn't get Weapon Specialization either.
Anyway - Fighters were no joke in AD&D 2E.
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u/TheDankestDreams DM (Dungeon Memelord) Dec 03 '24
I’ve seen a lot of 2e fighters and they are not the dudes you want to get on the bad side of. A fighter hits level 10 in AD&D 2e and becomes an unstoppable monster.
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u/AddictedToMosh161 Fighter Dec 02 '24 edited Dec 03 '24
He can do magic. He moves his weapon really fast and *slash* it disappears into the enemy.
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u/THE_YOUTUBE_BEAR Dec 03 '24
MAGICAL PUNCH kicks
"Ow! What the hell, that wasn't a punch"
"That's what makes it magical"
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u/Matrix_D0ge Dec 03 '24
"SOME DAY LOVE WILL FIND YOU!!"
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u/motorcycleboy9000 Dec 03 '24
I know they made that clip intending the Fighter to be the bad guy, but one person changed the soundtrack and flipped the entire script.
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u/Raoul97533 Dec 03 '24
"You can change the fabric of reality with a snap of your finger. You have a god that is so impressed by your simping, that you literally have him on speed dial for a "get out of jail free" card each day. I am a normal human being who spend time to master the mundane art of being good at swinging different versions of "hurty thing on a stick". So tell me, which one of us is more deserving to be called heroic for going into this Dragon lair to save the town?"
Monk: "I am literally naked and unarmed..."
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u/TheDankestDreams DM (Dungeon Memelord) Dec 03 '24
Monks and fighters have always felt like kindred spirits. Both are about having no special abilities and turning discipline into a superpower. One is about dodging and avoiding while the other is about weathering the storm physically and mastering weapons. They’re both so badass and cool.
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u/Melior05 Dec 04 '24
"Idk, which one of us ran like a coward from the dragon's Frightening Presence?"
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u/burf Dec 02 '24
He can swing it really fast.
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u/i_is_not_a_panda Dec 03 '24
If he has a shortsword and a scimitar with the new rules he can swing it 8 times in 6 seconds!
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u/Aldrich3927 Dec 04 '24
Which, when you think about it and/or try it yourself, really isn't that fast, especially for a person who's apparently on par with people with access to Meteor Swarm.
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u/clifton779 Dec 03 '24
Fighter Man
Fighter Man
Does whatever a fighter can
Can he cast
Any spell
No he can’t
Cause he’s a fighter
Look out
Here comes fighter man
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u/hipnotyq Dec 02 '24
Every single D&D character I have ever played has been a Human Fighter.
Character customization and options is not really why I play D&D, I like all that stuff to be relatively simple and basic.
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u/Lawsoffire Dec 02 '24
tbf "Human fighter" can lead to such a huge variety of RP and convincing characters.
I've seen way too many characters become their wacky customization options rather than real characters. Its much better when you have something "generic" and you have to flesh a character out of that.
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u/TheDankestDreams DM (Dungeon Memelord) Dec 03 '24
The best characters I’ve seen have been human or Demi-human with very few exceptions.
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u/Lindt_Licker Dec 02 '24
If my trickster rogue dies I will probably be going fighter for my next character.
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u/Nkromancer Dec 03 '24
They make fun of him until he pulls off some combo breaker final smash type move.
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u/HallowedKeeper_ Dec 03 '24
"Fighters are the most courageous individuals you'll meet, they are willing to get up close and personal with giants and eldritch abominations with little more then a weapon and some armor."-Rasilin Blackstaff
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u/kind_ofa_nerd Dec 03 '24
The name “fighter” for a whole class has always bugged me. Because I naturally call all martials fighters. A front line fighter, a ranged fighter, a melee fighter. But lo and behold, I’m actually talking about a Barbarian, a Ranger, and a Rogue.
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u/Level_Hour6480 Paladin Dec 02 '24
Greatswords are for sad losers who smell bad; real warriors use mauls or polearms for two-handers.
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u/dirschau Dec 02 '24
No no, it's not a greatsword, it's a great sword. Says right there
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u/MexicanFurry Dec 02 '24
"You said it was a greatsword"
"Yeah! Great🫲 🫱sword, with a space in the middle. A sword that is great"
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u/Level_Hour6480 Paladin Dec 02 '24
One-handed swords are for chumps, and Elves. (But I repeat myself) Real warriors use battleaxes and warhammers.
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u/theFlaccolantern Dec 03 '24
I'm sorry, your attack on my weapon choice missed thanks to my 2 extra AC.
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u/Level_Hour6480 Paladin Dec 03 '24
But you could have 2 extra AC from a shield with a one-handed weapon that isn't for stinky losers.
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u/Mean-Purple5173 Dec 02 '24
It’s a great sword, and he seems particularly well suited to it. Also the spear, the javelin, the club, the mace, the morning star, all kinds of armor, the bow…
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u/WoodsenMoosen Dec 03 '24
Actually, I think the sword would be in his OFFENSE.
I'll see myself out.
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u/git_gud_silk Dec 03 '24
Nope. not underestimate the fighters. They can cut you more times in 6 seconds then a wizard can recite the steps to cast fireball in their head. Do not mess with them.
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u/Echo__227 Dec 03 '24
A barbarian is just a less skilled fighter who can sometimes hit harder if he really means it
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u/GargantuanCake Dec 04 '24
He says he has like 100 hit points and will stand between us and the monsters.
...he's in.
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u/SurotaOnishi Dec 03 '24
I mean, fighters are superhumanly fast considering how many attacks they can get in on a single turn. So there's that.
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u/ChrisFromIT Dec 03 '24
Pop holy weapon on the fighter and watch him just cleave through a single enemy.
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u/kmikek Dec 04 '24
that just some guy with a sword can easily kill you if he wants. whose side do you want to be on?
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u/undreamedgore Dec 04 '24
My last fighter didn't even do that. Good with a shield though. Poor bastard.
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u/TheMarksmanHedgehog Dec 06 '24
To be fair on the wizard, the fighter can make attacks at a rate comparable to an automatic weapon if you really push their action economy.
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u/BentBhaird Dec 02 '24
Ha, good one. Reminds me of the time the elf and the human walked into a bar........the gnome walked under it.