r/asheville • u/pipetih • Oct 13 '24

Living in bootyhole squalor. Ouch. Meme/Shitpost

We're a civilized household. You know, with bidets. Having to go back to such primitive ways as scraping our bum with 120grit is ruining my glorious Asheville experience. This is easily the worst thing to come out of the disaster.

Hope someone gets a chuckle. Stay safe, love y'all.

edit: fix a typo

edit again: Lol, y'all rock. We're waiting on our portables from the 'zon, and using wetwipes tossed in the trash in the meantime.

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20

u/LazyBassBitch Candler Oct 13 '24

Let me introduce you to unscented baby wipes. You’re welcome.

27

u/dreamscout Oct 13 '24

Those ‘flushable’ wipes. They aren’t really flushable and clog the pipes so throw in trash after.

11

u/Wingo-Lamo Here in Spirit : Oct 13 '24

Yup! The second best thing to bidets are the extra-large wipes from Walmart (Assure is the brand, I think). They're big and juicy, and they get the job done! Plus, they're cheap and you get a lot of bang for your buck!) Just have some plastic grocery bags or a roll of those cheapo waste bags (like dog poo bags) nearby for disposal purposes.

I'm a former AVL resident currently surviving on the Southwest coast of the Godforsaken Peninsula of Doom, formerly known as Florida, and I've lived here on and off for 30+ years, so I know my shit when it comes to post-disaster survival. Pun intended. It's amazing how resourceful people can be in times like this! Necessity is indeed the mother of invention, that's for sure!

Seriously though... to those of you who are going through this for the first time: Speaking from experience, there's no better character builder than surviving a catastrophic event. It can change your life for the better if you allow it. It changes the way you see the world. Not only do you become hella resourceful, but you also become more appreciative of EVERYTHING (Bidets, for instance), you tend to develop more compassion and empathy for your fellow man, you become more aware of your surroundings, and the list goes on. You may have a touch of PTSD (some more than others, obvi) but there's therapy (and edibles) for that.

The best thing is that when it's all said and done, you will look back on this time and marvel at what a total badass you were through it all!

Sending big love to y'all. Asheville is a community like no other. You got this!

2

u/BabyMystique Oct 14 '24

I survived Andrew in Miami in the 90's as a teen. It was so pretty crazy for sure, that was my worst one.

1

u/Wingo-Lamo Here in Spirit : Oct 14 '24

Yeah. Andrew was a rough one, especially for those on the East Coast (I seem to remember that the whole town of Moorehaven was leveled).

I lived in Naples, but it just so happened that a bunch of us had gone to Orlando that weekend for Lollapalooza '92. So while Naples was getting hammered by Andrew, we were going nuts with Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Rage Against the Machine, and the Chili Peppers, to name a few. It was truly an epic weekend.

But I digress...when it was time to leave, we couldn't because they had closed I-75 to all southbound traffic, so we were stuck in Orlando for a few days, which was fine with me because Naples was without power for a week!