Advice would be appreciated

[u/SuspiciousSpirit3833]

I’ve have been $u***al for almost 5 years, and the thought of me (you know what) myself on New Year’s Eve has been quite strong. I’m doing everything I can to better myself and keep my eyes on Christ, but I still find myself never amounting to anything. I have No friends, No family (outside of a disabled mother), and I have a hard time believing that I meant to be here. These are things I routinely talk to the Lord about and ask for strength….only for me to crumble. For about 2 months, I have tried applying to volunteer at a church I enjoy going to (in person and online) only for me to not receive any follow up in return even after reminding them. I am still constantly trying to find Christian Groups for young adults. Being depressed and wanting to (you know what) feels like being sent to hell as a punishment and you wonder if that’s where you are going to rot. Any way to combat this without questioning your existence? If this gets taken down then I give up on asking for advice….Anyways happy new year to you

[u/MelodicDatabase3910]

Where do you live I can connect you to some loving Christain who will take you in as family. Text me