I choose to not be bitter.

[u/Dapper-Scholar-7025]

I'm in heartache right now, the person that I'ved loved for so long is now in a relationship with another person, also a friend of mine. But through the fog of pain I'm pushing through it and choosing not to be bitter or angry at them or at the world for not being with the person that I want to be with. I recognjze that it's not anyone's fault, these are just the circumstances of life right now. I'm in pain but I'm actively choosing to still be a good person.

[u/Midwest_Kingpin]

What determines whether suffering is deserved or undeserved, our own preconceived notion?

[u/Mastershiz1999 → u/Midwest_Kingpin]

While the concept of ‘deserved’ or ‘undeserved’ suffering might be subjective, the original point stands: regardless of the nature or perception of suffering, choosing to do good is universally recognized as a positive and moral response. The focus isn’t on labeling suffering but on our reaction to it.

[u/Midwest_Kingpin → u/Mastershiz1999]

However, if the suffering is deserved then doing good to those who deserve to suffer is a unvirtuous response.

[u/Gowor → u/Midwest_Kingpin]

For the sake of the discussion suppose we have a person that we agreed deserves to suffer and the fact that they are suffering is just. What would "doing good to them" look like then?

[u/Midwest_Kingpin → u/Gowor]

Making them not suffer 

[u/Gowor → u/Midwest_Kingpin]

If it's just that they're suffering, and you stop that, there's nothing good about what you're doing.

[u/Midwest_Kingpin → u/Gowor]

So you agree

[u/Gowor → u/Midwest_Kingpin]

Check out this fragment from Seneca's On Anger:

We do not, therefore, need an angry chastiser to punish the erring and wicked: for since anger is a crime of the mind, it is not right that sins should be punished by sin. “What! am I not to be angry with a robber, or a poisoner?” No: for I am not angry with myself when I bleed myself. I apply all kinds of punishment as remedies. You are as yet only in the first stage of error, and do not go wrong seriously, although you do so often: then I will try to amend you by a reprimand given first in private and then in public. You, again, have gone too far to be restored to virtue by words alone; you must be kept in order by disgrace. For the next, some stronger measure is required, something that he can feel must be branded upon him; you, sir, shall be sent into exile and to a desert place. The next man’s thorough villainy needs harsher remedies: chains and public imprisonment must be applied to him. You, lastly, have an incurably vicious mind, and add crime to crime: you have come to such a pass, that you are not influenced by the arguments which are never wanting to recommend evil, but sin itself is to you a sufficient reason for sinning: you have so steeped your whole heart in wickedness, that wickedness cannot be taken from you without bringing your heart with it. Wretched man! you have long sought to die; we will do you good service, we will take away that madness from which you suffer, and to you who have so long lived a misery to yourself and to others, we will give the only good thing which remains, that is, death. Why should I be angry with a man just when I am doing him good: sometimes the truest form of compassion is to put a man to death.

[u/Midwest_Kingpin → u/Gowor]

So it's good to make them suffer as long as I'm not angry

[u/Gowor → u/Midwest_Kingpin]

Only if it's meant as a necessary tool to cure them and help them live a life in accordance with Nature.