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u/Arrr_kelly_clarkson 3h ago
They blamed the pet disappearances on Haitians and it was a white woman the whole time
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u/Bitter_Chemistry_733 1h ago
They should check her neighborhood to make sure there are no Haitians missing
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u/tautjes 3h ago
Its amy poehler bear
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u/MintBouquet 3h ago
I can't be offended cause I don't even know who you're referring to
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u/townshiprebellion24 3h ago
Oh, she’s an actress. You resemble her, slightly. Maybe if she ate her feelings too, you’d look more similar.
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u/MintBouquet 3h ago
Ohh Amy Poehler, she's cool as haha Yeah, Ive got a lot of feelings hahahh
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u/townshiprebellion24 2h ago
Do you even go here?
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u/MintBouquet 2h ago
Why can't we all just bake a cake made from rainbows and smiles and we could all eat it and be happy
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u/MisterBurnsSucks 3h ago
Two things we can be sure of: you have a lower back tattoo of a cat you got when you were 19... and that your boyfriend requires a lot of D batteries 😒
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u/MyNameIsNotKyle 3h ago
Between trying to distract with a nose piercing and how you take pictures, you're self conscious about your double chin and we can tell.
That's why the only picture with your neck has you looking up
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u/RecognitionHonest320 3h ago
No matter how many rings you put on that finger, no man will ever put one there
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u/only432 3h ago
I think you put the wrong date.
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u/MintBouquet 3h ago edited 3h ago
Here in Australia we write the date in a logical format. 11 Jan 2025.
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3h ago edited 3h ago
[deleted]
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u/Many-Tale9112 3h ago
If this was Ohio and you had a slightly darker tone of skin, we would be convinced you were showing us your packed lunch with that last photo. Since you aren’t, we just suspect it. I’m guessing you didn’t include a pic of the dog because it’s chocolate in color
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u/Express_Area_8359 3h ago
So is tha cat for throwing at people? Or is it supporting your emotions by cleaning its anus?
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u/numbskullerykiller 3h ago
The most you could do at your hotness level is maybe a hostess at Applebee's. . .in a small town. You couldn't cut it at Cleveland AppleBee's. Also, no one believes you have a thyroid issue or are allergic to gluten. You're just eating too much. Peace!
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u/MintBouquet 3h ago
I have hypothyroidism lol Not that you'd believe me anyway
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u/numbskullerykiller 3h ago
LMAO!!!!!! I knew you were pushing that bullshit on people. You just made my day.
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u/IBFibbins 3h ago
You're the DUFF.
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u/MintBouquet 3h ago
Is that an acronym? Or duff beer reference? Lmk
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u/MyNameIsNotKyle 3h ago
Designated Ugly Fat Friend
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u/kbeckerburbs4 3h ago edited 2h ago
I’d make your day, but you would just eat it
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u/CannibalAnus 3h ago
Picking up women at a health clinic for aids research isnt the date most men aspire to.
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u/CleverSpaceMonkey Best of, Pt. 15 #5, Certified Savage Platinum Roaster 2h ago
“I’m not ugly enough, I should put some metal ornaments in my face”
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u/Darth_Stroyer_ 2h ago
women have to do strange poses to hide their flabby breasts, bloated belly, and iguana neck
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u/CautiousBearnz 2h ago
Your hair says blonde but your eyebrows scream fake....along with the prominent regrowth
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u/IBenjieI 2h ago
Is that a tattoo of a baby on your arm because no guy wants to actually put one inside you!?
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u/ch3apsunglass3s 2h ago
So you live in a country that exports nothing, have a huge mice infestation, hence the cat, and everything can ☠️ you. You think you would be in better running shape to get away from things.
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u/Invader_Gir_1 2h ago
Having bouquet in your username is ironic since it looks like you have never received flowers in your life.
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u/Flight_305 2h ago
If you don’t already have tons of depression-induced cutting scars…. You should start.
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u/Lost-Shop750 2h ago
That poor cat, it's been waiting for years to eat your face. It will pounce on any opportunity.
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u/Double_Yam3010 2h ago
Does that stud in your lip pop up when you’ve reached a proper internal roasting temperature?
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u/Future_Parsley740 1h ago
I can't make your day, I don't have a gallon of breyers ice cream. Chick-fil-A doesn't have enough nuggets for you and your cat. Do you live in a motel? All your pics are in bed,the one place no man has been with you
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u/Morose-MFer81 1h ago
Guys take you to Olive Garden on first date and you go Dutch, but you give up the backdoor and tell your friends he took you to a “nice Italian place” and respects you.
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u/Early_Law_5703 57m ago
You’re so pathetic that you take selfies at brunch with your parents reflections in the glass window. What’s the matter, your friends stop inviting you to bottomless brunch? That will teach you to stop eating the food off everyone’s plate. It’s not their fault your dumbass doesn’t know the definition of bottomless.
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u/GuyBannister1 50m ago
Quirky cat lady that can’t get a man because she smells like cat urine and regret
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u/BigDaddyBorms 47m ago
Missed your casting call … Th-Th-The, Th-Th-The, Th-Th... That’s all, folks!
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u/thegentleman217 46m ago
I don't have time right now but i will get back when i feel you're worth my time. RemindMe! 76054 days.
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u/Constant_Sir_9207 35m ago
When people ask what's the bag for, the cat says, "Fuck it, I keep her around because she feeds me and cleans my litter box."
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u/vat-nique2022 29m ago
Fourth hottest looking Shazza in the trailer park. You're dull and uninteresting like a colouring book. Your tatts look like they were done by Michael J Fox.
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u/Loam_liker 2m ago
Pussy overflowing out of an oversized bag
EDIT: just got to the last photo, this was about the first two
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u/MoonBaby812 1m ago
The only thing that saved you from getting absolute roast blasted is your cat, dont put your cat in the line of fire you wildebeest.
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u/Present-Mirror-7669 3h ago
That cat hates your guts too.