Spotted a crime

4.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '19

Greeennaaaddde <Even with his dying breathe, he refuses to use a pun where it doesn’t belong, as he jumps on the Grenade> <The grenade clicks but nothing happens> Damn, that was close. <He then sprints towards the window down the hallway> bang <Glass flies everywhere and he flies out the window towards the dumpster outside>

2

u/pixel_lord_99 Mar 27 '19

Well that's over. Better get back to HQ

<legs it outta there, blending in with the crowd>

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '19

<But it wasn’t over>

2

u/pixel_lord_99 Mar 27 '19

(Wasn't it? I thought you just legged it out of there. If not, I'll void my previous comment and continue as usual)

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '19

<to be continued> ;) <sound of r/punspecialforces helicopter echos in the distance>

2

u/pixel_lord_99 Mar 27 '19

<hears helicopter>

Oh no.

Oh no. No, no no no no...

Oh, wait, of course!

<enables tracking mode on punnade launcher and fires at police helicopter>

<calls into radio>

I need backup! Backup! Choppers are en route to my location! Send backup, fast!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '19

<Large SUVs role up behind perp> <A10 Warthog circles overhead> You’re surrounded, throw the puns on the ground and come out with your mouth shut!

2

u/pixel_lord_99 Mar 27 '19 edited Mar 27 '19

<dives for cover, firing punnade launcher with tracking mode enabled at the chopper and SUVs>

You'll never get me alive!

<continues firing>

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '19

FREEZE <Cold barrel touches the back of the perps neck> Your days on this earth are pun.

2

u/Marius_Nightfire Mar 28 '19 edited Mar 28 '19

Hello fellow officer, did I hear what I just thought I heard?

Edit : and you u/pixel_lord_99, I apologize for the harshness and the quick escalation to war but I seem to recall throwing you in the slammer.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '19

Listen rookie, you didn’t hear anything. If you want to make it out of her with your mouth still between your ears, instead of your asscheeks, I suggest you shut it. <Nightfire looks down the barrel of a hot twelve gauge that was just used to shoot a perp>

1

u/Marius_Nightfire Mar 28 '19

Sir Yes Sir

walks down to r/puninternalaffairs while holding Scar-H from last battle

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '19

<When Nightmare gets to r/puninternalaffairs he realizes he’s in way over his head. A whole conspiracy involving the r/punkgb starts unfolding around him. He’s in to deep. >

2

u/Marius_Nightfire Mar 28 '19

<As I come to the realization of the conspiracy after explaining to multiple officers, I quickly make my way back to you angrily holding my Scar and a Throwing Knife, My Nametag starts to come loose and another one is below it>

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '19

<But just as Nightfire arrives, the Punsident of the United States arrives with full entourage to congratulate me on my success.> <200 r/punspecialforces solders standing by their commander and chief, ready die for their leader and puntry>

2

u/Marius_Nightfire Mar 28 '19

<stares at you angrily>

whispers into walkie-talkie

Makarov, I need you at Hotel Bravo Six, pronto.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '19

<Sound of guns being charged behind you> Hands up. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do will be used against you in r/puncourt .

1

u/Marius_Nightfire Mar 28 '19

Throws Flashbang and runs

A note is on the ground

1

u/pixel_lord_99 Mar 28 '19

I do recall that too. I was broken out.

Not divulging any names though.

1

u/Marius_Nightfire Mar 28 '19 edited Mar 28 '19

Very well.

Hands you my 44 Magnum while reaching another one

It's dead silent in here.

Aims Magnum at you

I'm going on the count of 3 to get you and your little buddies a chance to defend yourself or get outta here.

You can do whatever you want

1.....

2.....

1

u/pixel_lord_99 Mar 28 '19

<shoots u/Marius_Nightfire's gun out of his hand, then shoots him in the head and chest repeatedly>

1

u/Marius_Nightfire Mar 28 '19 edited Mar 28 '19

<Due to the varying levels of recoil, the bullets went right beside the head, however hit the chest and the groin>

cough guess..... this is what I got for.... the other day...

Tell my wife..... I... love... her...

speaks into walkie-talkie

I... need.... backup....

Passes out

1

u/pixel_lord_99 Mar 28 '19 edited Mar 28 '19

<looks sadly down at fallen officer, then drops a dandelion and a medikit besides him>

<patches up his chest wound>

Don't worry, I will...

<gets in backup chopper and heads back to HQ>

→ More replies

2

u/pixel_lord_99 Mar 28 '19

Was that a... pun?

Goodness!

<runs away because you've already gone back to HQ and forgot to take me with you>