r/Conservative • u/Pessimist2020 • Dec 22 '20

Americans Excitedly Anticipate Getting Paid With Their Own Money Satire - Flaired Users Only

https://babylonbee.com/news/americans-excitedly-anticipate-getting-paid-with-their-own-money
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894

u/Gamerschmamer FairlyFarRight Dec 22 '20

The fact that the government can’t pass a stand-alone stimulus just tells you how broken it is

367

u/Cocororow2020 Dec 22 '20

Had to stick money to Israel and Sudan into the mix, over a billion dollars leaving USA for our citizens relief.

362

u/RedBaronsBrother Conservative Dec 22 '20
  • Provides $40 million for the Kennedy Center - this may sound familiar - the Democrats included a special $25 million carve out for the Kennedy Center in the last COVID relief bill, which it took and then immediately laid off its staff.
  • $169,739,000 to Vietnam, including $19 million to remediate dioxins (page 1476).
  • Unspecified funds to "continue support for not-for-profit institutions of higher education in Kabul, Afghanistan that are accessible to both women and men in a coeducational environment" (page 1477).
  • $198,323,000 to Bangladesh, including $23.5 million to support Burmese refugees and
  • $23.3 million for "democracy programs" (page 1485).
  • $130,265,000 to Nepal for "development and democracy programs" (page 1485).
  • Pakistan: $15 million for "democracy programs" and $10 million for "gender programs" (page 1486).
  • Sri Lanka: Up to $15 million "for the refurbishing of a high endurance cutter," which is a type of patrol boat (page 1489).
  • $505,925,000 to Belize, Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, and Panama to "address key factors that contribute to the migration of unaccompanied, undocumented minors to the United States" (pages 1490-1491).
  • $461,375,000 to Colombia for programs related to counternarcotics and human rights (pages 1494-1496).
  • $74.8 million to the "Caribbean Basin Security Initiative" (page 1497).
  • $33 million "for democracy programs for Venezuela" (page 1497).
  • Unspecified amount to Colombia, Peru, Ecuador, Curacao, and Trinidad and Tobago "for assistance for communities in countries supporting or otherwise impacted by refugees from Venezuela" (page 1499).
  • $132,025,000 "for assistance for Georgia" (page 1499).
  • $453 million "for assistance for Ukraine" (page 1500).
  • Lays the groundwork for a “Climate Security Advisory Council” (section 405)
  • Sets aside funds to investigate the “1908 Springfield Race Riot" (Section 432)
  • Includes a lengthy subsection titled “the Horseracing Integrity and Safety Act of 2020”
  • Outlays funds to address gender inequality amongst statues
  • Includes funds for a museum that will offer “programming, education, exhibitions” on … “the life, art, history, and culture of women”
  • Includes $193 million for federal HIV/AIDS workers stationed abroad to buy new cars
  • Includes funding to discourage teenagers from drinking and hooking up
  • Creates a commission tasked with educating “consumers about the dangers associated with using or storing portable fuel containers for flammable liquids near an open flame."
  • Includes $1.5 million for the Appropriations Committee’s “Office of Diversity and Inclusion” as well as lots of money for receptions
  • Mandates new hiring measures to ensure diversity in the intelligence community
  • Provides $8 million to support Biden’s presidential transition
  • Directs funds to pay for the U.S. Senate daycare center

208

u/Can_Not_Double_Dutch Fiscal Conservative Dec 22 '20

This hurts to read, then I have scroll down to read more and get more pissed. WTF are we funding this stuff.

112

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20

Because people don't actually look into this stuff. People are cheering right now because Pelosi worked with the Republicans and got a deal done. But they have no fucking idea what's even in the deal in the first place...

That's why we continue to get fleeced. No one calls it out because no one knows about it. People are mindless drones that just want to get told what to feel and think at this point.

37

u/Terron1965 Reagan Country Dec 22 '20

I am quickly coming to the conclusion that Hunter Biden is not really an exception and that each of the senators and congressmen have someone getting contracts off this shit and kicking it back to the legislator. hunter is in business with another senators kid as well.

51

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20

[deleted]

40

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20

What the fuck... this is why congress has such a low approval rating. Fuck these people. Democrats, Republicans, independents, anyone who voted for this should be publicly shamed and chased out of office.

22

u/dallens Conservative Dec 22 '20

We also gave .5 billion to Israel, since the several billion we already send every year just isn't enough.

9

u/super-moons Conservative Woman Dec 22 '20

Wow... terrifying. I sent this to my friend and they asked me for a source... can someone please link any? I trust this but I guess she doesn’t. Thanks!

17

u/RedBaronsBrother Conservative Dec 22 '20 edited Dec 22 '20

Here's the bill, posted on the US House's website. Is that a good enough source?

Here's a Twitchy article with callouts of some of the egregious spending, and screenshots of the relevant sections.

0

u/pcvcolin Defeat Socialism Dec 23 '20 edited Dec 23 '20

Nobody reads. They just want free shit from Da Gubment. Pretty soon the F.S.A. will be demanding the schools be defunded, too (like they did with police), but the people demanding the defunding won't bother to teach kids anything from home -- then, people will wonder why kids can't read good (Zoolander will become real).

But there will be Horseracing Integrity, and High Endurance Cutter boats in Sri Lanka funded, by God! So if you want to have the kids get taught, send them to Horseracing Integrity school, and if you want a job overseas that has a good source of federal funding, no problem - just go build some boats in Sri Lanka! Congress knows what's up! For sure..

Like I said, nobody reads. Chris Hedges alluded to this before he passed on, in a piece (old essay) where he was critical of the direction of communication in society generally. He felt people were losing touch with meaning of words and phrases and that eventually it would all just turn into abbreviated, rude or loud sort of messaging blasted all over (sort of like social media on twitter) and people being subjected to sounds and images without fully understanding what they mean. Just basically noise and blatant sharting of text of meaningless symbols and lots of misdirection and shaping of social fabric by fewer and fewer skilled communicators.

So:. What's in that bill again?

-1

u/super-moons Conservative Woman Dec 23 '20

Thanks, you didn’t have to be rude brother

3

u/RedBaronsBrother Conservative Dec 23 '20

Sorry, wasn't intending to be rude to you. The sort of person you are having to provide sources for - too biased to believe anything that goes against their beliefs, too lazy to look it up themselves - irritates me.

9

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20

Makes me sick to my stomach.

25

u/evergreen4851 Conservative Dec 22 '20

Hear me out: I'm all for giving my $100 to supporting third world countries and their development, It's kind of our charity if you will and also benefits us in the long run buttt we have sooo many people at home in the U.S struggling that could use those billions and resources so I give a big middle finger to this relief bill, there is no relief. A lot of that money is also going to special interest groups, and corporations that do NOT need the money, so again, congress can shuv this bill right up their ass.

14

u/LordGoat10 Liberty Conservative Dec 22 '20

Lots of relief programs for those countries listed are needed but whenever a bill like this comes to the floor some senator decides to ram his personal pet project into it

5

u/RedBaronsBrother Conservative Dec 22 '20

Lots of relief programs for those countries listed are needed

I'm fine with that, as long as we're not deficit spending to do it.

4

u/LordGoat10 Liberty Conservative Dec 22 '20

Tell that to literally every politician in Washington

2

u/HuluForCthulhu Moderate Conservative Dec 22 '20

Why are you focusing so much on the foreign aid ($1bn out of $800bn) and not the $600bn that went to tax breaks for corporations and generally just everyone except for the American taxpayer?

This is not a partisan issue, there’s no point focusing on $1bn in foreign aid when we pissed away $600bn.

Even in the last “stimulus”, only $400bn out of what, $1.2tn went directly to the people. It’s ridiculous.

2

u/pcvcolin Defeat Socialism Dec 23 '20

Horrifying A.F.

Meanwhile in Biden's world:. https://www.westernjournal.com/joe-bidens-niece-caroline-receives-zero-jail-time-pleading-guilty-dui/

"driving while important, law doesn't apply to me"

4

u/bionic80 2A Conservative Dec 22 '20

Mandates new hiring measures to ensure diversity in the intelligence community

Because what I know we need is to make sure that the least qualified but correctly skin toned or organed human being are fighting the wars that need to be fought -.-

$453 million "for assistance for Ukraine" (page 1500).

The absolute shitfuck is this for? another Hunter kickback?

1

u/wrestler216 Christian Conservative Dec 22 '20

I guarantee most of that is getting back into the pockets of people in congress on both sides of the aisle through shady/illegal business deals. Like Hunter Biden and the companies he "worked for" or Ilhan Omar using campaign funds to pay her husband's firm.

1

u/econopotamus Budget Hawk Dec 22 '20

Man that hurts to see. Has any country in history figured out how to make an elected body stick to a narrow scope for bill topic matter to prevent so much pork?

12

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20 edited Jan 12 '21

[deleted]

1

u/pcvcolin Defeat Socialism Dec 23 '20 edited Dec 23 '20

The NDAA bill should be vetoed too. The stuff they've added to that is just horrible. That should be vetoed on principle - even if the veto just results in it being tweaked it a tiny bit and then brought back, since they have a veto proof majority to pass that steaming pile of turd in House / Senate.

NDAA veto story (the President is set to veto it, fortunately): https://www.foxnews.com/politics/trump-expected-to-veto-defense-bill-forcing-congress-back-to-the-hill