r/Conservative • u/Pessimist2020 • Dec 22 '20

Americans Excitedly Anticipate Getting Paid With Their Own Money Satire - Flaired Users Only

https://babylonbee.com/news/americans-excitedly-anticipate-getting-paid-with-their-own-money

12.3k Upvotes

74% Upvoted

695

u/romark1965 Old School Dec 22 '20

I'm going to order 3 boxes of bullets with mine, should have them by 2024.

169

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20 edited Dec 22 '20

I’m adding aftermarket parts to my car. Part of me feels bad about it, but I’ve been working and paying taxes this whole time, and I never got my last stimulus check. I really don’t need the money. At least it will stimulate a local mechanic.

Edit: Turbos for everyone!

261

u/spudaug Dec 22 '20

Why on Earth would you feel bad about it?

If the whole point of the “stimulus” is to boost the economy, then literally any activity that involves spending your check is correct.

If the point is “relief” then spending on a mechanic (a local tradesperson, not some corporate monolith) will undoubtedly help them pay bills or pay employees, not to mention the supply chain they support.

You do you, man. You’re good.

77

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20

I appreciate this, now I don’t feel as bad. Thank you.

69

u/Girth-Nowitzki Dec 22 '20

I’m paraphrasing and I know I’m getting it wrong but they always say that every dollar spent locally can actually boost a local economy multiple times over the initial amount.

You take the $600 spend it with a local mechanic, he takes it and spends it on his local daycare who uses it to pay their plumber who buys groceries.

That 600$ turns into $2400 in the local economy. Don’t feel bad about spending it. Shop local if you can and enjoy it. It’s your money.

17

u/ironbolsh Dec 22 '20

The velocity of money is always higher the lower on the economic chain you get.

-18

u/highpotethical Dec 22 '20

sounds like socialism...

15

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20

Its commerce. This is how economic stimulus works; creating economic movement in a situation where there was none.

The correct thing to do with the stimulus if you're actually interested in helping the economy is, in fact, to blow it on local businesses. Spend it on a product with a supply chain. Dont throw it in an account and stop the cashflow again; hell, dont even put it into a utility bill if you can avoid it.

That's a big part of why it being $600 sucks: it isnt really enough money to move. Most folks are going to give it all to a landlord's savings account just trying to keep a roof over their head, and that money doesnt end up serving the purpose we actually wanted it to be used for.

It isnt socialism to have your tax dollars used to mitigate a nation-wide crisis, but it seems pretty wasteful to spend billions giving everyone just enough money to accomplish nothing individually.

9

u/bla60ah Fiscal Conservative Dec 22 '20

I don’t think that word means what you think it means...

3

u/a320neomechanic Conservative Dec 22 '20

So you don't know what socialism is, got ya.

0

u/chuckdiesel86 Dec 22 '20

Don't feel bad. I didn't need the last check either so I bought a TV and put the rest in the bank.

1

u/ImpureClient Dec 22 '20

Treat yo self!

29

u/MrFunkyFresh70 Dec 22 '20

This is why they should have just evenly split the cares act between all americans instead of giving businesses the money. People are going to end up spending it at businesses they frequent. Just giving the money to businesses does not help the fact that a lot of people lost their income. Once the money ran out for the small businesses, there was once again no income because the people supporting the business don't have the extra money.

20

u/TheAzureMage Dec 22 '20

That'd have been what, $2750 each?

That'd have been one hell of a stimulus.

20

u/MrFunkyFresh70 Dec 22 '20

I think it would have been closer to $6,900 for every single american.

17

u/TheAzureMage Dec 22 '20

For every single taxpayer, yeah. The $2750 is every man, woman and child, regardless of taxpaying status.

The $600 is even more restrictive than every taxpayer, though, due to the $75k income cap. So if it was just those people, it would be even higher than $6k.

10

u/MrFunkyFresh70 Dec 22 '20

Regardless, I think we're trying to get to the same point here. They could have done a lot more to help people stay out of poverty and to help the economy, especially local economies, but they didn't.

6

u/TheAzureMage Dec 22 '20

Oh, agreed.

Pretty much everyone of any political persuasion is likely to be on board here. It's really odd when conservatives and AOC are on the same side, but it tells you something about how messed up the process is.

27

u/ultranothing Cynical Conservative Dec 22 '20

If the whole point of the “stimulus” is to boost the economy, then literally any activity that involves spending your check is correct.

So ultimately, it's less taxation and allowing people to keep more of their money which actually promotes a healthy economy? I'm shocked.

It's interesting, though. We get taxed out the rear and then when something bad happens, we're given more of our money to spend in order to "save" ourselves.

8

u/TheAzureMage Dec 22 '20

Essentially, yes.

The stimulus part, anyways. The downsides are the future debt, which requires either government become more responsible with spending(hah!) to compensate, or we suffer a corresponding drag later.

Lowered taxation is great for the economy, but Gov can still find a way to screw it up.

24

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20 edited Dec 24 '20

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7

u/StarMagus Dec 22 '20

Exactly. As much as people hate the poor, they spend almost all of the money they get on activities which directly stimulate the economy.

I make enough that if you give me 1,200 or 600, I have to decide if I want to spend it on random shit, like a new TV, Clothes I really don't need, and the like. OR, and this is the important part, I can just stuff it into my savings in which case it doesn't do a thing for the economy now.

Somebody who is barely getting by or even not making it, they are going to spend every last cent of it in the short term.

If you want to stimulate the economy in a crisis, they are a much better bet.

3

u/All_names_taken-fuck Dec 22 '20

OR you could donate to a local charity or feed bank.

The line of cars for a local church food bank near my house was four blocks long last week.

4

u/StarMagus Dec 22 '20

I could, but I'm not going to.

Which is why giving the money to poor people who have to spend the money in order to survive is a better use of a stimulus.

2

u/psychic_flatulence Gen Z Conservative Dec 22 '20

Sounds like you guys are saying the same thing lol. Not sure where he mentioned the ultra rich shouldn't be taxed lmao.

4

u/sadacal Dec 22 '20

Tax cuts disproportionately go to the wealthy. Just look at the last tax cut, working class people saw maybe 100 bucks back, while wealthy people got millions. With direct payouts everyone gets 600 bucks, rather than most of us getting peanuts and wealthy people getting millions.

2

u/randomizeplz Dec 22 '20

Investing stimulates the economy. Nobody is stuffing their mattresses

5

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20 edited Dec 24 '20

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0

u/randomizeplz Dec 22 '20

https://finance.zacks.com/stock-stocks-affect-economy-2233.html

6

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20 edited Dec 24 '20

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-2

u/randomizeplz Dec 22 '20

so what

2

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20 edited Dec 24 '20

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1

u/randomizeplz Dec 22 '20

boost indicators that actually matter and are of significance. you realize that money velocity was the lowest its been in forever when we had the lowest unemployment ever, right

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1

u/Nosrac88 Dec 22 '20

If you think billionaires just sit on piles of cash then you slept through econ

-2

u/j0sephl Moderate Conservative Dec 22 '20

The irony is lost on the Dems. However in this case it’s more like a family member giving you cash on credit. They are just going to come back and ask for more money because they are broke and can’t stop spending money.

-2

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20

Yea. All the multi millionaires and billionaires would help the economy so much more if they didn’t have to pay taxes. Oh wait.

0

u/ultranothing Cynical Conservative Dec 22 '20

But they're generally the folks who employ the most people and invest in improving the products and services they sell

1

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20

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2

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20

So yea, rich people create more low paying jobs that are barely enough to live on and barely enough to make a person feel like a respectable human. But they’re forced into it anyway because that’s the American way. They weren’t born in a better zip code

1

u/churnate Dec 22 '20

If you’re not making money because you lost your job you’re not taxed to begin with.

4

u/ultranothing Cynical Conservative Dec 22 '20

You get taxed on unemployment. Also, this applies to employed people mostly.

4

u/itsmeMORROW Dec 22 '20

A temporary boost yes. But the negatives are very much real to a stimulus.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20 edited Dec 18 '21

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