Tldr; My enrollment = Football team bad. Give me money and I will enroll at your most hated university. Comment your bid and college you want to have a football program implosion.

Story: The college I went to won 2 CFB Championships before I enrolled. Afterwards they have amounted to barely winning their shitty division, when they’re lucky. I was heavily recruited by Penn State, but ultimately never enrolled despite it probably being a full ride. Seeing they are now killing it in the CFB Playoffs, I figured I should open up my terrible negative CFB luck to the betting masses. I’ve been considering a masters degree but no idea where I want to pick because you only get to choose once for life. Knowing that I will tank their football program I might as well make decent money for it and will no longer have to choose.

In the current wave of conference realignment, the eventuality of an age dominated by two mega-conferences, the B1G and SEC, seems to be just beyond the horizon. With these conferences splitting the acquisition of Texas, Oklahoma, USC, and UCLA, the portfolios of the B1G and SEC continue to bloat, while the BIG12 and PAC12 begin to dwindle. As the ACC's largest brands continue chafing at the bonds of conference allegiance due to an even pay distribution model - potentially adding the ACC to the list of depleted conferences.

Unlike the BIG12, the ACC and PAC12 leadership suffer from crippling "Opportunity for Improvement Syndrome." For the display competence in acquiring new teams and securing lucrative media rights, the Big12 has been excluded from my proposal.

So where do these two conferences, the ACC and PAC12 turn, as they currently stand alone at the edge room just waiting to join the dance? Do they attempt to steal a dance from the beautiful teams spinning around the middle of the country's metaphorical dancefloor? Nay. I suggest, the ACC takes a deep pull from the flask in its jacket, and asks the PAC12 to dance from across the room. If you cannot beat the age of the mega-conference, why not be the harbinger of the new age?

In this model, the PAC-12 and ACC would drop ties to their respective ocean and become "The Costal Conference," a mega-conference consisting of twenty-four teams, (assuming Clemson and FSU can be swayed to stay). Imagine - the cannibalism of the PAC-12 coupled with the perennial chaos of the ACC's Coastal Division, (RIP), delivered in a tight package of nine-conference games per season. So how, would the games be played?

The conference would be divided into six tiers, A, B, C, D, E, and F based on the previous year's conference record. Within each division, the teams would be ranked one through four. Each team in the conference would be assigned a corresponding identifier, (i.e. A3, C1, D4, etc.). The games would be determined using the following structure:

1. Each team would play the other teams in its division - Three total games, (An A team plays the three other A teams, and so on).
2. The team plays the other teams with the same rank, in each corresponding division - Five total games, (A1 plays B1, C1, D1, E1, and F1).
3. The final conference game would be assigned by rank choice voting from each team's athletic department within the conference. This would exclude opponents assigned through the ranking hierarchy.

This would allow for incredibly competitive games against similarly AP/CFB ranked opponents, something the ACC and PAC12 desperately need. Some potential games played in this model would include compelling week one match-ups such as Clemson vs Washington, Oregon vs Utah, and UNC vs Oregon State, (based 2022 conference records). As a fan who is always playoff curious, a negotiation would be required with the Playoff Committee to ensure this amalgamation of conferences is still allotted two guaranteed playoff spots.

You may ask wouldn't there be the potential for a massive tie at the top of the division? Of course! Since each team has a schedule difficulty based on the previous season, teams with similar ability will be playing, (all of the best teams play each other). This can be resolved in two ways:

1. A playoff consisting of the top four teams.
2. Some ridiculous tiebreaker, like extra-points missed. Because why not?

Naturally, this idea is far from bullet proof. College football desperately needs an uptick in competitive conference games. If this Frankenstein's monster of a mega-conference ever comes to fruition, I will be suing for intellectual property infringement. All the while, I will be happy as my blood boils in frustration as Costal Chaos prevails, and prevents seven 9-3 teams from tying for first place.

Happy May Day you guys.

https://youtu.be/VxnDeb-TLhE

http://www.surlyhorns.com/board/index.php?/topic/4104-just-a-bit-of-ms-paint-to-get-the-season-going/