Yeah. I get thoughts but tell myself that’s where my procrastination is a literal lifesaver. When you read the stats on suicide, you find out most of it isn’t like the famous cases where they leave a note and plan out everything days in advance. Terrifyingly often it’s a heat of the moment thing and they use booze to get the “courage” (override their self-preservation reflex) to do it.
Depending on the “thoughts” you have you might want to look into exploring OCD with a psych.
I always thought it was normal. I don’t have a “voice in my head” I think and imagine things as images.
And all my life I would have these images in my head - washing the dishes while seeing blood gushing from my throat or a gun firing or or just horrible evil shit all the time.
I felt a pull toward the void and saw my death probably 10 times a day. If not death, just massacre.
Lots of nightmares.
Anyways - turns out it was OCD. “Obsessive Compulsive Suicidal Ideation”
My daughter had conversations talking about wanting to for months prior to going through, and then finally went through with it and even had texts send to her friends and left me a letter. she actually had 3 different letters she tried to write out. she seemed to legitimately be planning it for about a month from what i could gather from her phone.
Same. A million years ago I read a thing that almost to a person, everyone who survived jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge had the same thought: “Y’know, I might be able to fix all my problems, except for the problem I caused by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge.” That absolutely sounds like something I’d think. :) So half a century later I’m still here, working on fixing problems.
Yeah, we only get to experience a tiny fraction of our universe. Some of it sucks, but as long as there is some chance for another good experience I can make it through the bad parts. I'll hold on until my mind is gone. Though if I get to the point that the end is in sight, I intend to experience all the drugs I've been warned about and go out on my own terms.
couldn't agree more. i've been suicidal for most of my life, attempted many times and shit like that. i still have bad days/weeks/months, but fucking whatever. i still have some stuff going on in my life and things i want to see and experience. let's have some fun - whatever that happens to be
i'll do everything i can to enjoy the most out of the fragile tiny time i've got on this earth
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u/Solomon_is_here 1d ago
I’m going to die sometime anyway, why not live the life that I’ll never get again?