r/Aquariums • u/Main_Initial_7118 • Jan 25 '24
Parents cleaned my tanks without asking :/ Betta
Came home today to this. First pic is what they put the fish in for god knows how long, last pic is my tank before they cleaned it. They told me it was bc my room looked “messy”. They are old so I don’t blame them…. But damn…
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u/dougjayc Jan 25 '24
"dear parents,
While I appreciate you and the effort you put in to cleaning my room, I've put a lot of effort and research into this aquarium. Aquariums are an ecosystem and they rely on ecological services which are provided by microorganisms and plants and the health of my fish can be impacted by changes to the ecosystem. Changes such as thorough cleaning.
I am concerned for the welfare of my fish and I am hurt that this happened without my knowledge. It would have been nice if you were more communicative about your feelings towards my room and fish tank and more communicative about the actions you intended to perform.
Please discuss this sort of thing with me next time, so we could have mutually worked out an agreement."
Whatever you choose to tell them, consider using "I" statements and making it about you, rather than "you statements," which people naturally react to as an attack, and attack back accordingly.