r/Aquariums • u/Main_Initial_7118 • Jan 25 '24

Parents cleaned my tanks without asking :/ Betta

Came home today to this. First pic is what they put the fish in for god knows how long, last pic is my tank before they cleaned it. They told me it was bc my room looked “messy”. They are old so I don’t blame them…. But damn…

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760

u/dougjayc Jan 25 '24

"dear parents,

While I appreciate you and the effort you put in to cleaning my room, I've put a lot of effort and research into this aquarium. Aquariums are an ecosystem and they rely on ecological services which are provided by microorganisms and plants and the health of my fish can be impacted by changes to the ecosystem. Changes such as thorough cleaning.

I am concerned for the welfare of my fish and I am hurt that this happened without my knowledge. It would have been nice if you were more communicative about your feelings towards my room and fish tank and more communicative about the actions you intended to perform.

Please discuss this sort of thing with me next time, so we could have mutually worked out an agreement."

Whatever you choose to tell them, consider using "I" statements and making it about you, rather than "you statements," which people naturally react to as an attack, and attack back accordingly.

255

u/FlaccidWhalePenis Jan 25 '24

Mama always said attack the problem not the person. Good advice

156

u/Beeerice Jan 25 '24

Dang, my mama just attacked me whenever I talked

Can we trade?

111

u/FlaccidWhalePenis Jan 25 '24

Nah but you can come to Thanksgiving

12

u/KrylonMaestro Jan 25 '24

This reminds me of that wrong number text guy who actually went to (and i think still is) the ladies thanksgiving and now you have to do it.

4

u/notaveryuniqueuser Jan 25 '24

Apparently the husband of the grandma died recently, but the grandson/grandma are both still doing well.

sauce if interested

33

u/Cant_Think_Of_One666 Jan 25 '24

That's so wholesome of you guys lol

11

u/MonsterMansMom Jan 25 '24

I'll be your Momma.

Beeerice, you deserve great things.

Work hard and earn them, ok? I'm proud of you darling. You are doing your best, keep on going! Stay grateful and humble, always. This life is only giving you the things you can handle. If it feels too hard, the reward will be even sweeter.

I love you sweet dear, you are treasure. Please have a good day and don't forget to hold the door for old people and flush the damn toilet.