r/AmIOverreacting • u/-_cash_ • 17h ago
AIO about my boyfriend getting me a gift I told him I didn't want? ❤️🩹 relationship
My boyfriend asked me months ago what I wanted for Christmas and I told him I just wanted money to go towards buying an electric piano. Specifically with 88 weighted keys. I explained they're expensive (around $1200) and I didn't expect him to get me something that big.
He insisted that he was going to get it for me since it was all I wanted, and I admit I was super excited about it. I also figured it would be fair if I also bought him an expensive gift. I settled on a very nice guitar, an amp and a couple other things that totalled close to $1000. The guitar was actually that much alone but I got an amazing deal on it. I drove 8 hours to get this for him.
For context he makes about double my income, and isn't good with money in the sense he spends it recklessly without worrying about the future. I'm not great with it but not as bad as him. As we got closer to Christmas I just had a feeling I wouldn't not be getting the piano as it seemed like he was pretty broke. I even commented on this and said it's OK.
Christmas morning I saw a couple big presents under the tree but there was no way they could have been the piano since they're quite long. I honestly almost thought it was a joke when I opened up a small keyboard. I tried to look happy but I was so upset.
Over the months I had explained why I wanted a full size piano and why the weighted keys were so important to me. I already own a keyboard like the one he got me when I was 8 years old. It's still at my parents house. I had told him in the past that while it was great as a kid I really don't like playing them and I would never buy one like that and didn't really care to bring it to our apartment.
He was setting it up and asking me about buttons and I said something along the lines of "yes, I know because it's the exact same thing I have at my parents" he asked if that was bad and I said we'll I'm just really confused you would buy something I told you I didn't want, and already own.
He explained he didn't have enough money and thought that this would be a great compromise since that's the only thing I wanted. He said that I wouldn't need to use the extra keys anyways (that part really pissed me off).
We both kept apologizing at the time and we agreed not to talk about it more on Christmas since it was ruining the mood.
I didn't want to be ungrateful but honestly my feelings are really hurt because it felt like he didn't listen to me at all, didn't care enough to set money aside for me despite telling me he was buying it, and then just expected me to be thrilled over something I didn't want.
Aio about my boyfriend buying me a gift I didn't want or was it close enough that I shouldn't be upset about it ?
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u/Hopeful-Artichoke449 16h ago
It would be like someone saying that they love paris.... then bf says, "I'm taking you to paris for Christmas!" ........Then getting a box of grocery store croissants.
It's the lying, false promises and manipulation.... not the "gift".
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u/StrangledInMoonlight 15h ago edited 15h ago
And then saying “see honey! You don’t need the
wiggleEiffel tower!”But it’s actually worse? Cause this is her art. And he’s decided she doesn’t need all 88 keys.
Like telling Picasso he doesn’t need the color Blue during his blue period.
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u/imyourlobster98 12h ago
Last year my bf at the time and I exchanged gifts. We had a $200 cap. I knew there was a type of bag he had been looking for for a while but couldn’t find one he liked. I spent hours doing research and looking at different types and styles and I eventually found one I thought was great. It was $250 but it’s fine. It was returnable in case he didn’t like it. When we were talking about gifts I didn’t give him a hint as to what I was getting but I did ask him what he was thinking for me and even sent him the link to what I wanted. He had said he was thinking of getting me one of those mugs you plug in and charge and then it keeps your beverage warm. I made a face and said no please don’t get me that. I mean they’re stupid and stupidly expensive. He thinks they’re cool for some stupid reason. I mean $200 for a cup I have to charge!? Guess what I open? That stupid cup. He could see it on my face and got upset. Like I specifically told you to not buy it and sent you the link to what I wanted. Gifts aren’t about what you think is cool it’s about what you think the other person will enjoy. This isn’t why we broke up but it’s kinda part of it. The cup is still in the box. I never took it out. Will probably just sell it.
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u/Altruistic_Yellow387 1h ago
Those cups aren't stupid (he shouldn't have gotten it for you since you told him you didn't want it, but they're super useful for people who don't drink quickly. My bf uses his daily and loves it)
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u/NOLACenturion 6h ago
Ditto. In fact, double ditto.
This guy is a loser. Get another piano and another bf
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u/Fun-Safe7535 17h ago
NOR especially since it was briefly stated, that in chance it would be given (CONFIRMED BY HIM!!!). But buying a copy of one you already own and explicitly stated you do not want( or need) is kind of unfair. You went out of your way for his gifts, with his income DOUBLING your own, and you splurged for him. Of course you were expecting something grand because of his budget, the discussions and overall your gifts towards him. Speak to him about this issue, maybe ask why he didn’t have money, if he clearly doubles your pay, or maybe he just spent it all on gifts. Who knows, but discuss this, your feelings and how you went out of love over 8 hours for a gift so wonderful. If he belittles you, then you know it’s over, from immaturity. Confirming a gift months ahead, and not being able to afford it when the time comes, WHERE DOES HE SPEND IT ALL, because months is a long time to save, would’ve been understandable if there was finance issues and such, but promising a gift, to later be disappointed?? You are not immature OP, your reaction is valid.
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u/Swarm_of_Rats 17h ago
NOR. He should return it and give you some of the money towards what you actually wanted. Usually I would say it's the thought that counts, but that's kind of a big and expensive thing to have just laying around unused. If it was just like a pair of socks with a disgusting pattern or a dress in a style you hate it would be different.
Yeah, it ruined the mood, but he really should have listened to you instead of doing what he convinced himself would be acceptable.
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u/Hulla_Sarsaparilla 16h ago
I’d be annoyed too, can he return it and put the money towards the electric piano you actually want which was the original plan
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u/-_cash_ 16h ago
I'm not sure tbh, he made comments like "well will you still play it?" Instead of offering to return it.
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u/Substantial-Bike9234 12h ago
Tell him you need the receipt so you can return it. If he gave you a jacket that was very much too small for you would you attempt to wear it just because it was a gift?
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u/Affectionate_Many_73 9h ago
Don’t ask him to return it. Tell him your expectation is that he will return it and give you the money he spent so you can put it towards the gift you told him you wanted, that you both agreed he would get you and then didn’t.
It sounds like he walks all over you, doesn’t listen to you, and you just let him.
Leave him if he doesn’t start treating you with respect and like an adult human being.
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u/-_cash_ 16h ago
I'm not sure tbh, he made comments like "well will you still play it?" Instead of offering to return it.
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u/Hulla_Sarsaparilla 16h ago
What did you say? since you already have the same one you could play if you wanted to that’s a silly comment for him to make, I’d ask him straight does he have the receipt and can he return it since you do have one already - it’s not being ungrateful, it’s just pointless to have another keyboard the same as what you already have
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u/reclusivegiraffe 14h ago
Tell him explicitly you would like to return it. Don’t wait for him to offer.
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u/SecurityFit5830 7h ago
Did you say “no im not going to play it. Can you please return it? If not I’ll resell it.”
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u/Nanatomany44 3h ago
He disrespected you. He had the explicit knowledge of what you wanted, he has the income for it, and he said he was getting it.
And he doesn't buy it, tells you some bullshit rationale as to why, and thinks you'll accept it.
He lied about buying it.
He made stupid excuses and made lame comments about the disappointing gift - expecting you to be
A. dumb enough to believe him or
B. polite enough to try to reason with him about it, and not want to make a scene on the holiday.
OP, THINK.
Has he, in the past, promised other things - a vacation, help with a big bill, some romantic gesture - and then they didn't occur? He had a reason, but it was lame, or even worse, it was YOUR fault - you had failed him or disappointed him and he was so upset he just couldn't???
Has he subtly or overtly made demeaning comments to or about you, in private or in front of others?
If so, has the frequency or severity of these incidents increased over the course of the relationship?
This guy raises a lot of red flags for me. If your answer to my last question is yes, l beg you to leave him.
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u/VegetableProperty196 17h ago
NOR — Let’s take a temperature check here. You put the information he needed to nail your Christmas present in his hand and he scrunched it up and tossed it in the bin as if to say, “I know better”.
And then he was expecting you to be happy and grateful for what exactly? Ignoring what you really clearly communicated? Was your boyfriend dropped on his head as a baby or has he found a fun and novel way to be this belligerently stupid?
I hope your bright spark of a boyfriend at least had the foresight to get a gift receipt but I’m not holding a candle for him.
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u/Chance-Foundation-46 17h ago
NOR. He sounds like an idiot. I honestly don’t think this was malicious but that’s no excuse. If he couldn’t afford the $1200 piano bc he’s shite with money he should have just given whatever he could towards you buying it not buying a $50 keyboard and calling it a day.
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u/wwydinthismess 16h ago
NOR
The guy is an adult who can't manage money or accomplish the basic adult shit.
You're wasting your time with him.
People like this are just one let down after another.
Then you end up enmeshed as the relationship goes on, and YOU have to fix and save everything because you don't want to go down with their sinking ship.
These relationships are EVERYWHERE.
This is how the relationship of every angry, burnt out, frustrated spouse in a one sided dead end marriage started.
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u/-pixiefyre- 17h ago
you should return what you bought for him and buy the keyboard you wanted since you basically spent that much on him with the promise that he was going to come through for you.
wild shit.
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u/i-am-the-fly- 15h ago
Return the guitar and amp and instead get him a kids learner one. Then see if he understands the same situation
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u/SweetFrostedJesus 10h ago
Get him a ukulele. Much cheaper, it's smaller, and 4 strings- did he really need all 6 strings anyways? Same difference.
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u/Jedi-girl77 16h ago
This guy is immature and inconsiderate. If I were you I wouldn’t waste any more time with him. NOR
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u/Hopeful-Artichoke449 16h ago
He made a unilateral, unprompted promise that he then failed in delivering but failed to tell her until she had shopped for him based on that promise. He put her in a position to be disappointed that was ALL his doing. She never even asked for the gift so all of his behavior is 100% manipulation.
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u/IxRisor452 14h ago
OP, you said you were starting to expect that you wouldn't be getting the piano as Christmas approached... Does this kind of thing happen often? You may need to start asking how much your bf values this relationship.
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u/Effiekath 16h ago
As a pianist who is very particular about what I have and play on, I don’t think you’re overreacting at all - and he shouldn’t have bought a substitute for something so specific without asking you first. If he didn’t have the money, that’s okay - get a different gift entirely or give you $$ toward what you wanted. A gift card for a music store even.
I would’ve been upset - and I really really think you are not ungrateful in the least.
Talk to him more about it because this was important to you, and it should have been important to him also. ❤️
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u/Sugarpuff_Karma 16h ago
He makes double your income & had months to save & plan...where is all his money going? You do clearly see now that he doesn't give a flying fuck about you? Why even set up the piece of shit he bought you, let him return it.
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u/Logical-Wasabi7402 15h ago
"Oh, well in that case I probably should go return this and this and this because honestly I couldn't really afford them either. But it's okay, I'll trade them in for (cheaper model)."
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u/wrenskeet 14h ago
You need to be direct. You need to tell him to return it because you will not use it, it’s not what you need, wanted or asked for, and to now TELL YOU that you don’t need the bigger thing is insulting as fuck. Don’t let him put you down like this
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u/Chic_alice 15h ago
It’s totally valid to feel hurt. You clearly communicated what you wanted, and he didn’t listen or prioritize your feelings. It’s not about being ungrateful; it’s about feeling valued. You deserve a partner who truly considers your wishes, especially for something meaningful like a piano. It’s okay to be upset.
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u/SpiderByt3s 12h ago
Im sorry this is just sad. Sounds like even making double what you do he has NOTHING saved.
Forget the Piano. That's the least of your worries. Make him return it and go back to saving. Also save for your eventual exit, this man is already bleeding himself dry. He's coming for your money next.
Good luck.
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u/One_Psychology_3431 12h ago
You're not overreacting, he completely disregarded everything you told him. He is irresponsible and careless not just with his money but with your wants and opinions.
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u/FitAd8822 7h ago
Definitely return the keyboard, and keep the cash/store credit for your piano that you want. Take him with you when you return it so you can show him why the piano is so important to you, maybe do this by showing him the differences in the pianos and how it would benefit you. This could make him more open and understanding of why you want the piano. He may not really understand the full extent of the differences between the keyboard and the piano and sees them as same same. So by showing him he gets a clearer picture and takes more of an interest in you.
If he knows all of this already and seen/heard the difference then he doesn’t really care about your needs. And goes with the mantra close enough is good enough. (It’s from him and “he tried” so you’ll love it).
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u/Spinnerofyarn 11h ago
NOR. He’s a musician. He knows the difference between a good quality instrument and a starter. He’s pretty thoughtless.
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u/fuzzlandia 10h ago
Tell him to return it and give you the money towards the piano you actually want. Don’t just wait for him to offer or pretend to like it to not make him feel bad. It’s something you don’t need taking space in your home and it could get you money towards something you actually want.
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u/Bruton___Gaster 13h ago
An aside - I don’t understand buying him $1000 worth of gifts if your suggested gift for yourself is $1200. $1200 is too much for him to spend despite earning twice what you do, but you spent $1000 on him (which is essentially the entire cost for yours)? Not that cost is overtakes thought, but it seems like the bar was placed kinda high unless you have a long history of extravagant gifts between you two.
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u/MapleHaggisNChips 10h ago
OP asked for some money to go towards the keyboard she wanted, and her boyfriend said he would instead buy her the piano she wanted. She didn’t ask for the whole thing.
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u/Bruton___Gaster 8h ago
I understand that, I’m just saying that unless they’re both big gifters it’s gonna be a lose lose. He sure lost more by buying what she had as a kid (unclear how much he knew about her childhood piano, or it’s quality - she may think he remembered the passing statement or maybe it was super clearly stated). But also if he gives something sentimental and chips in 400 cash to a piano later and she gives $1000 in gifts he’s sure to feel like an ass.
At my house, a $400 gift would have been wildly out of left field. In some, it’s a stocking.
Some people approach gifts differently. Without knowing their history, I’d guess this is a stacking effect of different baseline expectations, actually believing he can afford it (when what that means can be very variable - some people will buy presents before maxing their Roth IRA - some won’t. There’s clear tone to suggest she thinks he should be able to afford it), and him going down the wrong path on the gift idea.
I wouldn’t say OP is overreacting, but I’m glad no one is buying me $1000 in presents at this moment as I’d feel like crap but wouldn’t be returning the favor.
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u/Ok-Cardiologist8651 12h ago
Well, now you know how much you are valued. That is a significant piece of information and one you should examine closely. You are still in the honeymoon phase so it doesn't get better from here on.
Take back the gifts you gave him. Return ALL of them get the money back and put it toward the piano. He can take the dinky little keyboard back and buy himself a toy guitar, you know, the type that an 8 year old would be happy to get for Christmas.
You are under-reacting to this bad attitude on his part. You should not have to pretend to be pleased and although you shouldn't have thrown a temper tantrum (you did not) you should have been frank with him about what a disappointment he is and how he could do better.
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u/Cloud_King_15 12h ago
Honestly, you can just be grateful, but still say you want a full size with weighted keys and ask if you can return the one he got you to put the money towards something you actually want.
His mistake was making a promise he couldn't deliver on and not letting you know in advance. So I don't think its you being ungrateful or anything, its just he set you up to be disappointed.
But just return it and get the cash value of it.
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u/smlpkg1966 9h ago
I hope you are not thinking of marrying this man. He makes more money than you but doesn’t know how to save? I hope you plan on working until you are 80 if you stay with him because he will never save for retirement.
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u/Necro_the_Pyro 9h ago
My parents used to do this a lot. I'm a tool guy, and I would ask them that please, if you're not wanting to spend the money for a full new tool, just give me money so that I can put it towards the one I want. Without fail every year, I would end up with the shitty harbor freight/alibaba special version of the thing I actually could have used, which was such low quality that it was completely useless. They spent thousands of dollars over the years buying crappy tools that I couldn't actually use to build anything, and being annoyed when I didn't use them.
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u/elleinad311 7h ago
For my birthday one year, my ex and I were talking about what I wanted/what he should get. I couldn't really think of anything. He asked me about a kitchen aid mixer (I had been wanting one someday because they come in so many colors and my favorite color is orange) and I told him i didn't want that right now- I imagined getting it from my mom as a wedding gift and we didn't have a lot of space for it.
Sure enough, what did he get me? A RED kitchen aid mixer.
He had me open it while he was at work, luckily, so he didn't see my reaction, but I cried. I had explicitly told him that I didn't want him to get it for me AND he got the wrong color- I'm obsessed with orange, so he KNOWS. I talked to him about it later, and he said he didn't see it in orange. I googled it and found one in like 5 seconds. We exchanged it, but it still hurt and felt like he put no thought into it. Or almost like he fucked up on purpose.
We broke up 3 months later, a week after our 7 year anniversary.
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u/Queen_Goddess5297 11h ago
NOR. Why couldn’t he just give you the cash for the keyboard he got you that you didn’t want? Why couldn’t he just never make that promise in the first place?
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u/kitscarlett 11h ago
NOR. I wouldn’t have even let him set it up. Make him return it and give you the money to put toward what you actually want.
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u/anakitenephilim 11h ago
Return the guitar package, buy the keyboard you wanted, and buy him an offbrand cheap guitar package from Temu because it's more or less the same.
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u/Wooden_Marshmallow 10h ago
Ouchies. That really sucks. Take this as a lesson learned and don't buy him expensive gifts in the future. If you've already given him his gift don't take it back as it'll come off as petty since a gift is something you're supposed to give willingly without expecting payment or anything in return.
Christmas is also just a day so maybe he'll buy you it in the future but don't hold your breath.
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u/Poselfa1 10h ago
Definitely NOR
you told him what you would need to get what you wanted months in advance and he completely ignored it and got you something you already owned but didn't WANT to have with you.. definitely not listening to you
i say just sell what you got him and voila, you've got at least half the money for your own gift!
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u/KlithTaMere 9h ago
As a guy, i understand both sides of the coin.
Your feelings are extremely valid.
His not so much.
For him, he really thought that you would like it. He fuccked up without realising it. And i am pretty sure he still does not understand that the gift he made is not the problem.
He does not realise that the gift is perceive has a prove that he did ear to you but not try to really understand what you wanted from that gift. You would have rather him to give the little money that synthetiser (its not a fucking Piano that you receive has a gift, lets be clear here and precise, its important in communication) cost. And him saying that he is sorry but how he manage the money, he was not able to buy you the electric piano you wanted.
It happened, and it's ok to not be able to give what you wanted for chrismass. But again, the gift is not the problem, but it demonstrates the part that 6 you overreact.
Now, relationships will never be 50% 50% all the time. Sometimes, it can go 95% 5% to any way (gender wise) because of life events. No one is protected from that.
One thing that people forget in this sub is that a relationship has its up and down. But those up and down are calculated by the ups and down of each individual.
It's beautiful when both people are up. But in that state, you can actually connect with anyone when you are up and feel invincible. People come speak with you because they feel good in your presence. Its easy to be with that person.
If one person is down and the other is up, again, the relationship can be rocky but will survive easily with good communication (what a lot of relation is missing)
Now, the part that no one tells you, every relationship will have moments when both people are down. Both will have a hard time communicating because both people are less receptive. This is where relationships get their real test of time, and you need to figure out how to male it work because if not, you are doomed to always switch your partner.
You need to find a way to tell him the problem (the gift is not the problem, he need to get that repeated) even if it breaks out the mood, but not forcing it either.
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u/Available_Manner_123 9h ago
Lol he sucks. He could have just given you the money to start with but instead he over promised and wildly undelivered, ignoring all of your requests and replacing them with his own poorly chosen ones.
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u/FarAd2245 9h ago
NOR!!
This is NOT about the gift. It's not even about his finances.
It's about him not paying attention to you.
He could have had $100 to his name. You made it clear you wanted money, or a specific gift. That's two options that would make you happy, and he chose neither.
Further, while it seems like this is an important hobby to you, he hasn't paid attention to why you wanted a larger keyboard, nor that you already have a smaller one.
I mean, you gave him the easiest out. He could have given you just about any amount of money and you probably would have been fine with it, because he listened.
It's pretty obvious you aren't dating him for money/his job, and seem reasonably ok with his questionable spending habits.
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u/elmmi 9h ago
I thinks it's more than fair that you are upset. Sadly, this happens way to often in relationships. One person actually listens, and try to find that great gift, and it really shows how much they care. While the other... Well, doesn't listen, or just lacks care.
Start putting yourself first. A relationship is about giving and receiving. You will start feeling empty if you are the one constantly giving, both emotionally, and with gifts like this. Much love!
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u/jewishspacelaserss 8h ago
Does he have the receipt? I understand why you are disappointed but it seems like a pretty easy situation to rectify. Just take it back and use the money towards the one you want.
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u/CityAura 8h ago
Wanted a full sized weighted keys digital piano. Gets a 48 key MIDI controller. Lmao...
, you handled it great but a sturdy conversation about WHY this was a stupid choice needs to happen. with nice words so one one gets too hyped or angry lol.
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u/DoubleSuperFly 3h ago
I dont think you're upset about the actual gift. It's the fact that he straight up did not listen. And he also said he was getting it for you. He should not have said that in the first place. It's as if words mean nothing to him. This needs to be explained to him.
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u/mdskeox 3h ago
As a man, I dream of the holiday season where my gf tells me to just give her money. I hate buying people shit, I'd rather they buy it themselves. Your boyfriend fucked up and although I'm not a materialistic person and I hate giving and receiving gifts, it is what it is and I would never waste my money on something I knew someone wasn't interested in.
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u/Acceptable_Life_3534 2h ago
The problem is you bought him an expensive gift only because you thought he was doing the same not because you wanted to. If you’re that upset about Christmas gifts it seems like the relationship has bigger problems than that
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u/COLT45FAN 2h ago
Maybe just don’t shy away from what you really want. If they make double the amount you’re making. Then they should be able to recklessly spend on that said item. You will be happy you got what you really wanted. That person will be in no different situation than in the reckless spending habits they are already in. If they do not get you that said item this next time, then I’m sorry your wants are not a priority.
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u/Shark_bait561 2h ago
The guy sucks at budgeting and kinda dumb and people are saying he's manipulative? Typical Reddit. Ask him to return the gift and put the money towards the actual thing you wanted.
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u/carose59 40m ago
Instead of giving you what you asked for—the money to buy what you wanted—he wasted that money trying to make himself look like a great guy. He wasted not thinking of you.
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u/Smart-Hippo-8522 12h ago
Definitely not overreacting a digital piano and a keyboard are two different things. I’ve had to explain this countless times. Personally I wouldn’t have had the balls to say what you did about it not being what you wanted but I don’t think you were wrong to do so.
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u/will_sm 8h ago
I'm a bit confused by the difference between what they wanted and what they got tbh.
Wanting a weighted 88 key piano is reasonable, but it doesn't cost $1200.
On the other hand, they mentioned "electric piano" which is... Like a Rhodes piano?
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u/Smart-Hippo-8522 8h ago
I can only answer with my experience I have a digital piano with full 88 weighted hammer action keys with pedal and it was £300ish but this was 6+ years ago.
I think OP got a standard keyboard so considerably less keys and doesn’t have the weighted hammer action. In essence it doesn’t play like a piano would. Hope this makes sense.
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u/will_sm 8h ago edited 7h ago
No, I get that. I just find it odd OP wants the $1200 and got crap. Maybe lack of eductation? From my experience with 88 weighted keys:
- Yamaha KX88 ($100 used) - Requires computer was pretty good.
- Yamaha P45 ($400 new) - Slightly better feel. Generic builtin sounds + speaker but can use computer for better quality.
- Nord Grand ($3.5k new, current) - Supposed to have some actual hammers but honestly not that much different than P45+Computer to me. Great builtin sounds but no speaker.
- Yamaha U3 Upright Piano ($10k used I think, current) - Having the physical mechanical thing feels so good.
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u/Canary6090 10h ago
He probably planned to buy it the realized he couldn’t afford it. Idk. I think you guys are putting too big of expectations on gifts.
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u/Delicious_Wafer7767 13h ago
Posting this in a separate comment so more people can see it 👐🏽
I personally think the whole present thing is silly as hell for adults but reading this she says “I knew he was broke and I said it was okay.” Also people shouldn’t EXPECT people to do things just because they did that thing for them. That’s not how things work. I’d say to sit your man down, have a mature conversation about it and explain frustration and set boundaries. It sounds like he sounds painfully unaware that he was getting the wrong thing. He could’ve got her a book but he got a keyboard. It sounds like … in his own way… he thought he was making the right decision with what he could afford. As far as where all his money is, that’s a whole different conversation to be had. A lot of people take the easy way to go “omg girl breakup with him he doesn’t care about you blah blah.” That isn’t always the case and that’s a pretty crazy statement to make with this being the only context we have. But hey! This is the age of people basing their decisions off of what social media tells them to do vs working things out and figuring how to do things on their own. Advice is fine but I’m gonna just set this here for a bit of variety.
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u/Limp_Mobile3105 11h ago
I gifted my partner a high end flash drive this year… I’m in the wrong section of AIO.
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u/rossco7777 12h ago
christmas sucks. my mom and wife both want to and are going to return the main gift.
its for kids to make them happy everything else is awful.
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u/Affectionate_Eye3486 13h ago
The amount of people telling you he's a trash person for getting you a bad gift reminded me of why this sub is garbage lol
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u/Practical-Lemon7964 10h ago
YOR. You're ungrateful because he didn't spend $1200 on you after you TOLD him not to. You made a dumb choice to spend $1k on his gift when it sounds like neither of you can afford that right now. And now you're mad that he didn't spend as much on you. He tried to get something thoughtful that he THOUGHT you would like, and you crapped all over it. You are coming across as materialistic and rude.
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15h ago
[deleted]
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u/magic8ballin 14h ago
OP just has strange wording there I think. Pretty sure they’re saying he bought the same piano (idk if literally or not) that she got when she was 8. That is why she makes the comment to him mentioning she has it at her parent’s house.
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u/Naive_Technology_777 17h ago
I’m gonna go with both being wrong. He could probably rectify the situation by returning the keyboard and helping you toward buying the aforementioned piano. However, you also sound pretty exhausting in this scenario. At the end of the day, Christmas is about the thought rather than what you actually got. I don’t know. There’s a way to go about it and you’re going about it in a way that makes you sound frankly whiny.
Edit: He does need to be smarter with his finances and listening to you, though. I’ll add that. That’s probably the crux of the problem here.
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u/StrangledInMoonlight 17h ago
At the end of the day, Christmas is about the thought rather than what you actually got
What thought?
The “hey, I know you already have this at your parent and it’s not what you wanted or needed but I bought it for your anyway because I know better than you and I gave you something you already have and didn’t want rather than give money toward the thing you want like you asked for”?
The only thought he had was himself. How HE knew better.
4
u/Slightlysanemomof5 13h ago
Add on to that thought because this is a major rage inducer for me! Don’t ask me what I want then get something else or similar. Just say I can’t afford it or ask for another thing to buy. It actually pisses me off more than if giver just guesses on a gift instead of asking then saying I know more than you so I bought what I wanted not what you wanted . OP needs to say no I won’t use it, it’s not something I want or need. BF can return it or donate it, this was just a can’t be bothered to think things through gift.
-26
u/Naive_Technology_777 16h ago
Like I said. I think there’s a way to go about things in situations like this, but she’s instead running to Reddit to whine about it. They both come off annoying to me. This is Reddit, so I expect to get downvoted into oblivion.
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u/StrangledInMoonlight 16h ago
but she’s instead running to Reddit to whine about it.
Her tone isn’t whiney. And if you think it is, why are you even on AIO, let alone any of the agony subs? This is their purpose, for people to come tell their problems and ask a question.
This is Reddit, so I expect to get downvoted into oblivion.
And Its not because it’s Reddit you are getting down voted, its because you said
“It’s the thought that counts”
To a post that just told you the guy said
“YOU DON’T NEED 88 KEYS”
He didn’t give any thought.
Did you even read the post?
-20
u/Naive_Technology_777 16h ago
Not all AIO posts are inherently whiney, so you’re wrong there. Also, why are you sitting here speaking condescendingly to me? You disagree with me. I disagree with you. Voice it and move on. It’s an opinion-based subreddit. I said why I feel the way I feel about it, but you want to sit here like “well um akshuly…” to me like you’re trying to state some fact on an opinion-seeking post.
22
u/StrangledInMoonlight 16h ago
Because this is an open forum, and you made a public comment.
Because you didn’t actually read the post and keep making dumb comments on what you think the post says, but doesn’t…because you didn’t read it
Because you’ve decided OP is “whiney” based on what you imagined the post contained.
But mostly, because you keep on spitting out platitudes that don’t work with the situation as if they fix everything like a bot.
“It’s the thought that counts!”
“Other people are poor, so she shouldn’t complain!”
-1
u/Naive_Technology_777 16h ago
Don’t care. Move on. See ya.
15
u/StrangledInMoonlight 16h ago
That’s not how an open forum works.
You cna move on if you like though.
-1
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u/Delicious_Wafer7767 13h ago
If it helps, I actually agree with you. I personally think the whole present thing is silly as hell for adults but reading this she says “I knew he was broke and I said it was okay.” Also people shouldn’t EXPECT people to do things just because they did that thing for them. That’s not how things work. I’d say to sit your man down, have a mature conversation about it and explain frustration and set boundaries. It sounds like he sounds painfully unaware that he was getting the wrong thing. He could’ve got her a book but he got a keyboard. It sounds like … in his own way… he thought he was making the right decision with what he could afford. As far as where all his money is, that’s a whole different conversation to be had. A lot of people take the easy way to go “omg girl breakup with him he doesn’t care about you blah blah.” That isn’t always the case and that’s a pretty crazy statement to make with this being the only context we have. But hey! This is the age of people basing their decisions off of what social media tells them to do vs working things out and figuring how to do things on their own. Advice is fine but I’m gonna just set this here for a bit of variety.
-1
u/Naive_Technology_777 13h ago
Really great response. Incredibly thoughtful. Thank you for that and I took your words into great consideration. There were some things I jumped the gun on initially. Appreciate you actually taking the time to write something thoughtful rather than jump on the bash train, not that I care either way, but people prefer to “dunk on” folks rather than offer a differing perspective, myself sometimes included and I shouldn’t do that. Take care.
-1
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u/Naive_Technology_777 16h ago
A ton of people/kids don’t even get gifts during Christmas because they or their families can’t afford it and we’ve gotta read this chick crying about not getting a $1200 piano. Both of them suck lmao.
26
u/gepard_27 16h ago
? she didn't ask for 1200 dollar piano though... she specifically said that she knows it is too expensive and would happily just start a fund towards it. Also bringing in other people in other living situations is so random? Just because someone who doesn't get a gift exists, every gift is worthwhile?
-10
u/Naive_Technology_777 16h ago
“Just because someone who doesn’t get a gift exists, every gift is worthwhile?” You’ll probably disagree with this, but my opinion is that the spirit of the holiday is giving and not receiving, so no matter what anyone says about the gift or lack thereof, at the end of the day, it’s nice to be thought of in any capacity, even if it’s frankly misguided like this post. If it’s that big of a deal, tell him you’d like to return it to the store and work toward your eventual goal rather than crying about it on Reddit because you’re seeking a bunch of “NOR - men bad, men stupid, men dumb” responses. He doesn’t sound like a bad BF. Just misguided in this instance. It happens. I don’t think running to Reddit to try and embarrass your partner, so you can seek out responses trashing them is the nicest of moves, either. If I found out my partner posted about me on Reddit the way this girl is because she’s mad about the gift I gave her, even if I made a mistake like the one referenced here, I’d probably either break up with her or heavily consider it. Does that matter? No. Just saying. That goes for a lot of these AIO posts. Some of them are legitimate and some of them are people trying to embarrass their partners because they’re upset and want a pound of flesh rather than fixing the issue at hand.
18
u/StrangledInMoonlight 16h ago
So if someone gives you a bag of garbage, even though they can afford a better gift, you will genuinely be happy?
It’s a gift after all!
-7
u/Naive_Technology_777 16h ago
Don’t care. See ya.
16
u/KawaiiQueen92 15h ago
You got dunked on after typing a manifesto and now suddenly you don't care. Typical 🤡
-2
u/Naive_Technology_777 15h ago
Oh no. Not “dunked on” on Reddit. How can I recover. “Manifesto” lmao. Yes. I’m declaring war on gift-seeking women.
16
u/-_cash_ 15h ago
I posted because I genuinely want to know if I'm overreacting and tried to explain all the factors into my post. There's no seeking sympathy over a christmas gift of all things, i just haven't been in a relationship in a long time and it's hard to navigate. I would much rather post on reddit than bring it up to friends/family because that would definitely be embarrassing for him.
I wouldn't have been upset about the piano thing if he just had no money. I was super pumped over socks he gave me and a blanket lol. The piano thing hurt my feelings because I had said I didn't want it, not that he couldn't get me what i was saving for, for Christmas. Overall we still had a great day together, it's not like I threw a tantrum or something. I was just very confused. Part of making this post was to gauge whether or not I should ask him to return it, not to drag him. You literally know nothing about me or him other than this post and are making assumptions based on materialism which ive so desperately tried to explain is not the issue here.
-1
u/Naive_Technology_777 15h ago
Would you have an issue showing him this thread, yes or no?
21
u/-_cash_ 15h ago
I get youre trying to justify everything you're saying by moving the goalpost. I wouldn't have an issue showing my words. Would I want to show him other people's nasty words ? No, that's also why I haven't responded to them.
It's also an anonymous platform lol
Idk what you're trying to do, but you're missing the entire point as like 4 people have pointed out.
I'm very open to other perspectives if they actually take what happened into consideration by reading my post properly.
-10
u/Naive_Technology_777 15h ago
No moving goalposts. It’s a simple question. You answered it. I even said in one of my earlier posts that he should offer to return it and help you toward your eventual goal, but you’re understandably upset because I called you whiney. Ma’am, frankly, I don’t really care what anyone else has pointed out. This is all an opinion-based thing. You’re posting, seeking opinions. I gave mine. You didn’t like it. That’s fair. I’m not trying to assert that I’m “right.” We have different perspectives on things.
1
u/cinnabunzxx 9h ago
Wow you care a lot about this huh.
Don’t tell someone you’re going to do something and then not do it. Not that hard to understand.
1
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u/StrangledInMoonlight 16h ago
You didn’t read the post.
I told him I just wanted money to go towards buying an electric piano. Specifically with 88 weighted keys. I explained they're expensive (around $1200) and *I didn't expect him to get me something that big.**
And do what about other families? Because they can’t afford anything she has to accept a thoughtless stupid gift?
That’s the most ridiculous whataboutism I’ve seen today.
“Other families are poor so a BF doesn’t have to give a shit about his GF”
Is not the incredible stance you think it is.
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u/Naive_Technology_777 16h ago
I’m not trying to take an “incredible” stance, so I don’t know what you’re on. I said what I said. Other than that, I genuinely don’t care about anything else you have to say. Go pick apart and psychoanalyze someone else’s post, Mr./Mrs. Smug.
9
u/kasiagabrielle 14h ago
How many gifts did you donate to those people and children?
Exactly, thought so. Hurry, your high horse is running away, and don't forget to take your performative nonsense with you.
-3
u/Naive_Technology_777 14h ago
I do the Salvation Army tree every year. Got any more “gotcha’s” for me?
10
u/kasiagabrielle 14h ago
There was zero thought put into his gift.
-1
u/Naive_Technology_777 14h ago
There WAS. It was just entirely misguided. Just because he gave her the “wrong” gift doesn’t mean he didn’t put any thought into it. He just didn’t do what she wished he would’ve, so he definitely didn’t pay attention.
5
u/Th3Puppet 14h ago
If he had put any thought into it, he'd at least gotten her a keyboard she didn't already own. He couldn't even do that.
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u/GhostM1st 16h ago
Return his guitar and accessories and you magically have pretty much enough to get your piano. Problem solved.