r/wizardposting 1d ago

Up your game necromancers Wizardpost

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1.0k Upvotes

94

u/Carbuyrator A Bit of a Dabbler 1d ago

Human skeletons are a nice combination of large enough to be robust and plentiful enough to find easily. The real secret is to make bone constructs. Want a giant spider? Start by vampirizing a pig and connecting it to 64 femurs in chains of 8. Want it scary? Make the pig part a protective carapace out of skulls.

45

u/The_Squirrel_Wizard 1d ago

Ah interesting this is a fairly practical approach, giant spiders don't even have traditional skeletons so building one out of other bones seems very useful

18

u/RachelScratch Amateur necromancer (who steals and sells your magic garbage) 1d ago

I have a cat sized bone-spider I made from scraps! He doesn't do much but I love the little guy

1

u/themoroncore Servant of Zanthar and Master of the Kringe Orc Horde 2h ago

Oh weird I have a bone sized spider-cat. Do you think they'd get along?

1

u/RachelScratch Amateur necromancer (who steals and sells your magic garbage) 2h ago

Probably depends on what bone you used for reference

5

u/immaturenickname 13h ago

Skill issue, learn to animate exoskeletons. You can put shit in them and use them as vehicles.

5

u/NapClub 19h ago

or just visit a dinosaur museum.

62

u/ioverthinkusernames beezard 🐝 🧙‍♂️ 1d ago

3

u/IndependentMoney9891 13h ago

Are geomancers the ones that kiss the ground when they get off transportation devices?

2

u/SomeRandomYob The Great Mage SamrĂŚl, demonologist and necromantic consultant 3h ago

Nah, those are artificers after they almost blow up their vehicles.

1

u/IndependentMoney9891 3h ago

Fr, I just thought artificers had that match crayon 🖍 🤣

2

u/Whenpigfly666 Alchemical construct given sapience 12h ago

I mean, a fossil is more rock than it is bones... If you want to resurrect a fossil, geomancy is generally going to be much, much easier

25

u/Technicfault Kinetomancer - Favored weapon: these hands 1d ago

/uw certified Harry Dresden moment

12

u/Briantan71 Briän Rßneseeker, Novice wizard, 1st year Academy student 1d ago

/uw Very clever too, finding a loophole in the Laws of Magic that allows him to use Necromancy without breach said Laws.

12

u/FraggleTheGreat 23h ago

Polka Never Dies!

5

u/AnAngryPlatypus 20h ago

/uw Don’t be silly, he’s clearly wearing a hat

15

u/BrilliantMelodic1503 Novice Necromancer/Bone Enthusiast 1d ago

You’re right. Raising human skeletons creates far too much suspicion. It’s much easier to raise orc and goblin skeletons to do my bidding, especially since they’re just lying in caves all over the place.

14

u/Rockglen Purveyor of Post-Life Labor & Spirited Drinks 1d ago

10

u/L0ssL3ssArt Narissa, Technonecromancer, the bestest Council Head of Undead 1d ago

Dinosaurs are cool but a bit mainstream, I prefer undead giant prehistoric insects now those are cool AF.

5

u/RachelScratch Amateur necromancer (who steals and sells your magic garbage) 1d ago

And you can stash stuff inside the exoskeleton!

6

u/Aetherom Evil Wizard 1d ago

What the hells would I waste mana raising skeletons for when I can save money not feeding apprentices for the same effect?

12

u/Enderking90 Does Not Exist. simple as that. 1d ago

tell me you aren't an experienced necromancer without saying it.

"fossils" are not "skeletons", they are just casts of earth made from where there once were bones.

6

u/Alexzvd 1d ago

Had to check the comments, if any one knew this fact. Had to inform the masses. Also most museums have recreations that came from casts. So you can't rob museums for the real fossils.

3

u/The_Squirrel_Wizard 22h ago

Yeah you need some geomancy or chronomancy

5

u/MiaCutey 1d ago

Just revive oil. Or make a dragon out of several different skeletons. Or make a skeleton kraken or something like that!

5

u/DarkMaster98 Mystic 1d ago edited 1d ago

Tried reviving oil once, it just created an unholy amalgamation of 5 different sea plants, a Trilobite, and a baby Anklyosaurus. The damn thing dripped black goo all over my floor, and asphyxiated. Would not recommend, using fossils is far more consistent.

4

u/Maenelias 1d ago

There is a problem, most of the time dinosaur skeletons are incomplete. I found one in the wild. I used all of my mana on it... And that's why my minion is a single skeleton leg twice taller than me.

1

u/IndependentMoney9891 13h ago

Bet its got some kick tho 🤣

3

u/Xeno_the_Phoenix Primordial Lord of Fire and Rebirth 1d ago

Human bones are in great supply comparatively

3

u/MeThyLord The Paleomancer, Prehistoric Scholar 1d ago

Finally someone who speaks my language.

Fossil supremacy.

3

u/Character_Ad108 scrunko the soup wizard 1d ago

Cause most necromancers don’t know the proper spellology to raise fossils it’s a different field of study then bones as one is necromancy and the other is earth magic

3

u/forluscious 1d ago

hello mr dresden

3

u/QwertyDancing 1d ago

Do fossilized bones still count? Technically they’re more rock than bone

2

u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed 1d ago

Spooky boys are the best

2

u/Rivas_ Advanced Biomancer 1d ago

Hey, human skeletons are really easy to get! Just don't ask me how I get them.

2

u/Erran_Kel_Durr Drinker of the Wrong Potion 1d ago

Reminds me of how necromancy was invented in my home plane. Dwarves did their digging, and eventually uncovered bones of fallen gods from the Primordial War. The ample energy still in the bones proved pliable enough to be molded, and once they knew what to look for, the research expanded to the remains of mortal creatures, and a new school of magic was born.

Of course, those same god bones were eventually compiled and reanimated. Skairn the Black Sun has long distrusted all dwarves as a result of their creation, fills the deepest parts of the world a magical darkness to dissuade any who come near.

2

u/Outrageous-Shift7872 1d ago

Shut up ,what if I want to raise some humans ,least I can use them for ambush and things for assains

2

u/SirPug_theLast Warcrime wizard, spell acquisition and containment 1d ago

We know, we have still ongoing project of putting Ancalagon back to one piece (yes, we did found that world, please don’t travel there, or if you do, stay low profile, and don’t trigger any major event more or less on accident),

This is taking a long time, because its really big, and excavating takes time, but we plan to bring this one back, the big man requested it for some reason

2

u/steve123410 23h ago

Yeah cause fossils are minerals so call the geomancer but crude oil on the other hand...

2

u/FraggleTheGreat 23h ago

Harry Dresden is at it again! Polka Never Dies!!!!

2

u/Q2_V 23h ago

Giant swarm of very small skeletons

2

u/Wavey_Davey1 Boruk The Bold, High Priest of Moradin 22h ago

As a priest, I fear no man.

But that... thing? It scares me.

https://i.redd.it/x9o77wy5f2ce1.gif

2

u/The_Ditch_Wizard Wizard 21h ago

I once animated a large portion of a coral reef and took out a whole fleet of ships, turns out skeletons is skeletons

2

u/RedEyes_BlueAdmiral 21h ago

We had an entire movie series about why this is a bad idea, smh

2

u/ooSUPLEX8oo 20h ago

Almost no dinosaur skeletons are complete. Almost all fresh human skeletons are.

2

u/TheReptileKing9782 Master Biomancer and Professional Draconologist 20h ago

Finally, necromancers of class.

2

u/firehawk2324 19h ago

Dresden, that you?

2

u/Virtual-Oil-793 Necromancer of Many Stories and Experiences 13h ago

My child.

You know so little of the scope a human skeleton is capable of.

2

u/IndependentMoney9891 13h ago

I prefer to go the other way, rabbit skeletons.... There are so many, hell just let a few settle in the herb garden and you'll have enough for a full voltron in like 5 weeks, all legs and teeth too 😄

2

u/GreatWhiteAbe 12h ago

It's simple the longer something has been dead the harder it is to wake them up. Dead things want to stay dead.

2

u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 Ace Barksworth, Earthen Ambassador & Distant Admiral 12h ago

You guys still use bones? standing on a golem

2

u/ungabungahasinternet 5h ago

I mean as much as i like Wallace the undead mammoth he doesnt fit through the fucking door

2

u/TheWyster 4h ago

Better Idea: get some bonemeal then put it into a mold shaped like a buff guy, then add water with high calcium and iron impurities. When it hardens you get reanimatable "skeleton" that can punch peoples heads off.

2

u/JuliousBatman 3h ago

So fun fact Nicolas Cage produced the Dresden Files tv show, and pretty much LARPd as him in the Sorcerers Apprentice imo. He’s a massive fan of the books.

1

u/smallangrynerd 8m ago

Would necromancy work on fossils? Because fossils aren’t bones, necessarily, they’re mineralized, so basically rocks

1

u/SirXodious Grand Runesmith 1d ago

Human skeletons are easy because they only require you to resummon the soul. Animals don't have souls, so you have to put in the extra work.

4

u/AliasMcFakenames Elleriana Nailo, Multiverse Scholar 1d ago

There are one or two worlds where animated undead can be given more power the older the body is. A body two or three hundred years old can be significantly more powerful than a capable mortal soldier.

I scried upon one encounter there where a wizard did indeed draw upon a ley line to empower a large dinosaur skeleton to its full potential. Most witnesses -and I concur with the assessment- called it dubiously legal and utterly badass.

/uw The Dresden Files are pretty good books.

2

u/PM_ME_YOUR__INIT__ 1d ago

The right human skeletons have armor on them already. Saves a ton of money