r/toastme • u/Traditional-Log190 • 2d ago
Been feeling pretty defeated lately, could use some kind words.
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u/Dirty_Gnome9876 1d ago
Hey fellow human. Sorry about the tough times. I love you bunches. I hope tomorrow is a bit better.
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u/Prestigious-Fan3122 1d ago
I've always been a sucker for a guy with a really nice nose and great lips. Hi there!!
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u/chocolate_censorship 1d ago
Defeat is a blanket word. Break that down into smaller chunks and work on those parts.
You can do anything you want, now give yourself the permission to do it, and be kind to yourself above all else.
You got this.
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u/Remarkable-Potato969 1d ago
Sometimes we hit hard times that are discouragingā¦ You donāt deserve bad things happening. In general, bad things eventually lift. You appear to be a gentle person who feels things deeply. You might like a TED Talk entitled, āThe Gentle Power of Being a Highly Sensitive Person.ā You feel things deeply but you are more than your feelings. Just because you āfeel defeatedā does not mean that you are defeated! A simple truth is this: Negative Focus= Negative Feelings. Neutral Focus = Neutral Feelings. You might consider short term therapy which can make quite a difference. Ask for help. Talk to someone. Find inspirational reading like Larry Winget. Iām sorry you are struggling but I can also see that you have depth from which to draw from. You will look back on this some day at marvel that you were so much stronger than you knew. Blessings of encouragement. Iām praying for a miracle for you! š©µ
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u/Traditional-Log190 1d ago
This is spot on. Thank you potato.
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u/Remarkable-Potato969 23h ago
The depth of your life experience makes you soulful. You will overcome and move forward in spite of all your losses. Life can be bittersweet, but still we persist. Open your heart, get healing, find a new interest. You must actively participate in your own healing. Listen to Binaural Beats with headphones or ear buds. Life will slowly shift for you. Give us an update when you can!š¦
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u/KeithandBentley 1d ago
Youāre gorgeous and young. Donāt waste today when tmrw youāll regret it
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u/Ankit1000 1d ago
Chin up soldier. Life being bad only paves way for an opportunity for it to be good.
It is always darkest before the dawn.
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u/HealthyFellowJP 1d ago
Hang in there, brother. I see the pain in your expression. I hope life shines brighter for you soon.
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u/Sparklefanny_Deluxe 1d ago
This too shall pass. Please go find something fun to do or laugh at until you feel better.
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u/Psydt0ne 1d ago
That old adage. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. So often, humans are defeated by adversity because they fail to do the one thing that could save them. To stop and think.
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u/Ok_Demand9074 1d ago
Dude you straight up look like the life of the party! You may not see it but youāre winning everyday! Keep going!
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u/Key_Inevitable_5201 1d ago
Things will improve. Be kind to yourself and do things that make you happy whenever possible. A nature bath always helps. It's as easy as walking outside for ten minutes. Sending you all good vibes!
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u/DreamAffectionate495 1d ago
I sense you are an amazing loving Human with much sorrows, but despite your struggles you stay true to your heart and you will always be a good man, i see it in your eyes you would do anything for those you love and even a stranger who needed help, always remember how strong you are for even surviving this reality of such horror, you are still here and you are a blessing to this world and even when it doesn't seem like it you will become better and better .
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u/Puzzleheaded_Food610 1d ago
Donāt give up on yourself. Come back in a year and tell us about some fun things youāve done this year. You look like you have a kind heart. We believe in you, youāll be ok!
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u/blackberrybubbbly 1d ago
Hang in there, life comes in waves and the world is just waiting to make you smile again. ā¤ļø
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u/No-Hurry-3870 1d ago
The Lord Jesus is close to the brokenhearted, and those crushed in spirit.
You have been created, you belong to God!
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1d ago
How about a bud, a hug, and a nug? šš„šØ
Iām sorry I canāt be around to smoke you out and listen to Sublime, but dude just know that Iāve been there. A lot of us have.
Iām not even sure what I feel. I just look forward and take the baby steps I can back to functionality. Donāt forget about self care. Do things for yourself.
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u/Only_trans_ 1d ago
Be kind to yourself, you have kind eyes and look like youād be fun to hang with
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u/Dapadabada 1d ago
Mustache. No one can be upset when they're saying the word mustache, especially if they give it a silly accent.
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u/iFinallySignedUpOkay 1d ago
By reaching out for a lift, youāre showing the determination to keep going. That is so far from defeat, that is resilience. Hope is not a soft light, itās a strong, odd faith in the future that makes it through the mud, that pulls through being tired. Eyes are complex little windows, but I see in there, that hope, that got that keeps going. You shall rise from perceived defeat to victory. This is one chapter. Iām so excited for your future. Hang in there. One day youāll look back at now and have proof of just how strong you are.
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u/Neat-Replacement-771 1d ago
Donāt give up, just keep pushing and remember people care and love you.
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u/Recent-Memory-5503 1d ago
You might have lost a battle or two, but you are not defeated my brother! Stay strong, you got this š
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u/Danderu61 1d ago
Hey, buddy, why the long face? Cheer up there, Buckaroo! You're great, and you have to let the world know. Chin up, my man, 'cuz you are awesome!
Edit: fat fingers.
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u/The_Greatest_Duck 1d ago
Ever just look at someone and know theyād make a great best bud. Thatās you. You got best bud written on you.
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u/livin_notoxic_life 1d ago
You are doing great in life! No matter how hard things get, put your hand on your chest and feel your heartbeat. You have purpose. Inbox is open if you need to talk. You'll be OK. I promise.
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u/sethasaurus666 1d ago
They say if you're going through hell, just keep going, man. You never know what's on the other side but the world is a big, wild, amazing, stupid, exciting place, and it's full of people who care.Ā
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u/Osukendrlove1958 1d ago
You look like a friend ly person that could use a kind and cool new friend. DM me and let's chat
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u/Able_Communication60 1d ago
Why are you feeling defeated? Answer that, then ask where do you want to be emotionally, physically, financially? Make your plan, write it down, create an action plan and timelines. Work the plan.
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u/AdRckyosho9808 1d ago
Look in the mirror isnt that dude a winner that guy staring at you he is a winner right? Say it with me im a winner i will win another day everyday
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u/Popular-Database-562 1d ago
āYour purpose is to be yourself. You donāt have to run anywhere to become someone else. You are wonderful just as you are. Do not lose yourself in the past. Do not lose yourself in the future. Do not get caught in your anger, worries, or fears. Come back to the present moment, and touch life deeply. This is mindfulness.ā ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
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u/Aspiring-Old-Guy 1d ago
The fact that you continue to survive, and persevere day by day shows just how resilient and worthwhile you actually are!
Just don't give up OP! Hard times come and go, but strong people always win in the end!
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u/DarkAure81 1d ago
You have to be kind to yourself, you look like you aren't where you want to be but also don't feel deserving. Let me say you deserve to be happy no matter what has happen, it's 2025 and time to change your mind.
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u/Gold-Guy-8 1d ago
What are you feeling defeated about? only if you are open to sharing.
Iām feeling defeated about an assignment from work I tried to tackle last night (I work in accounting). Got overwhelmed and went to bed; woke up early to try again!
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u/ashzombi 1d ago
I've been feeling the same way brother. I know it sucks and I'm willing to bet you're a really good dude. Why is it that good people suffer? Just focus on being the best YOU that you can be. Be kind and help people whenever possible. That's the only thing that has helped me with my depression and anxiety. It's not as easy as "keep your head up" but at the same time keep your head up, like literally. Walk with purpose and your head up. Remind yourself that youre going to kick today's ass. I really need to do the same. I hope you feel better man I hate hearing about good people having a hard time. These days it's really difficult though.
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u/ChaoticGood81 1d ago
You are good looking as all getup. I bet you light up like a Christmas tree when you smile. I hope you can find a reason to laugh today!
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u/One_Technician4471 1d ago
One day I will write a script and have you play a āPineapple Expressā era Seth Rogen
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u/jennifersaCD4sure 1d ago
JESUS is walking with you, and if you don't feel him, that's because he's carrying you.
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u/Just_Josh_Inya 1d ago
Jesus loves you bro āļø he can heal your broken soul and change your life.
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u/ljr69 1d ago
No more saying āIām tryingā or āIām working on itā, just do it. Only you can change how your feeling and this might sound harsh but you need good AND bad times in life. Itās the contrast which makes you really appreciate the good times. The fact youāre even here beat odds of 400 quadrillion to 1. Youāve already won the lottery. The lottery of life.
Now, go write down something youāre going to do tomorrow that you enjoy doing. Donāt let negative inertia get in the way. And go do it! Youāll be back on the road to good times again.
I wish you all the very best! Oh and post photo proof you did something great.
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u/HealthySense6197 1d ago
dude, this is the world and what itll do. nobody gets spared. you think you are defeated and a lot of us arent? you have no idea. so many people you think who are on top right now are just faking it and trying to not let anyone see how the world fucks them over.
keep in mind "THIS SHALL PASS TOO" and you know. one day has 24 hours. 1 inch an hour, 1 inch a MINUTE is all you have to go on if you need to rest.
its not just bad for you, the 2020s is like, the whole shitshow is finally coming undone.
ITS ALL A FUCKING JOKE. YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE A LAUGH.
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u/thesecretofkorn 1d ago
You look just like someone I know. You two must be related. Tortillas? You'll get it if you get it.
Hang in there. Depressive periods come and go. Life just works that way. Spend time in the sun when you can. Go somewhere green. Drink water and eat healthy. Pet a dog. Itll be okay
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u/Stock-Wall1491 1d ago
Hey u/Traditional-Log190 , I'm sorry for whatever you are dealing with that make you feel defeated. I've been there, more than once. I'd gladly share with you if it helps (not on public though)... I'll tell you I recieved this once during my darker hours, maybe it will help a lil' for you too; "Shout out to the men who haven't felt themselves lately, but you get up everyday & refuse to quit; stay strong!"
I send positive vibes and engery towards your energy and aura...
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u/phantomtitfreckle 1d ago
Dang i thought this was a roast post i had some gnarly bill burr refrences, but then i read the comments and read the room and still think you look like bill burr if he wasnt funny, but im sorry your not feeling good homie, on a serious note, dont let these people here soften you up into thinking your a victim, your better than that, i see it in you ,you look tired, have you tried doing an onion eye mask? ..Any ways looks are not important were all gonna be skeletons in dirt covered in maggots one day and wel probably never figure out wtf where doing on this spinning rock flying through space in just this life time, but what if this isnt the only one huh? What if we just keep getting born, would you still be depressed? What would be the point, of anything other than being blissfull all the time because there are no real stakes and nothing matters, i hope you get there one day really man, you deserve to be happy and above that you deserve to be free, but you can only be free when you understand that happyness and sadness are an illusion and they both come and go in cycles, you cant have one with out the other, and so the only way to not be a slave to them is to value peace above joy, do you have peace? You can be depressed but still have peace with being depressed, and having peace with being depressed opens this window of freedom where you no longer feel like you must fight tooth and nail for the bits of joy we experience in life, between the sorrow, become free of both, i wish that for you and so much more, i hope this atleast made you smile and if not i hope your atleast confused ,and that the confusion leads you to asking the right questions
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u/Aenahl 1d ago
This world has a very annoying way of throwing stuff at you again and again until youāre down and ready to be out. Iāve been pretty down myself lately and I had someone ask me āwhat moves you? What sends chills up your spine and makes you cry it moves you so deeplyā and I was shocked to realize the very thing that moved me was what was currently breaking my heart (love/passion). You may feel as though you have lost this round in life, but itās not the only round coming! That age old saying of get knocked down 10 times but stand up 11 is very true! Sometimes the standing back up part takes longer than it did before, sometimes it feels like an eternity to get back on your feet and feeling good, but it will happen. Give yourself patience and acceptance. Treat yourself when youāre feeling defeated like you would treat yourself as a small child who hurt themselves. Hold them close, comfort them, clean the wound and bandage it up and give them time to stop the tears. Thereās no timeline to feeling better and thereās no wrong or right way to do it. Youāre doing amazing! You woke up today, you got dressed and you kept going. That is remarkable and donāt you forget it!!! Time to defeat the feeling of defeat and make it shake in its damn boots! I have all the confidence in you!
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u/inkfanatic95 1d ago
You look like a very kind soul! Donāt ever change that , us kind people who try to be kind we think we should just be like people who hurt us and turn cold keep your good heart the world so needs it
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u/ThisIsMudiver 1d ago
You look absolutely adorable and I wish I could hug you. Best wishes <3 Life's a bitch but you're strong !
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u/GuappDogg 1d ago
Keep going brother. Restrict the processed foods and sugar. Iām talking cut them totally out. Next go for a jog and take a cold shower after. Tell me u arenāt buzzing afterwards chief ..
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u/bay2bay442 1d ago
Sending you love brother. Been doing counseling for years, and it does get better.
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u/No-Heat1174 1d ago
Itās not that bad guy but when youāre going through itā¦ youāre going through it
Hang in there bud. Youāre doing a great job
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u/Prestigious-Win6879 1d ago
A pretty defeat can mean you're still standing on your feet, despite the hardships you might be enduring, the name you posted was still a green Greet. Which means you still have enough strength in you and sitting down for a while could be necessary rest, it's not a sign that you're weak. . . I totally tried to make some words into a poem for you bro but, it's not really one lol. Hope you find some time to ease your mind, maybe a temporary distraction from what's troubling you could help you out a bit or finding some calm music to listen to
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u/Proper-Process1578 1d ago
It canāt be cloudy everyday fella. Keep your head up it WILL get better
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u/Easy-Examination7900 1d ago
You have to learn to say āIām too cute for this!ā Because you are really cute. You have the wind knocked out of your sailsā¦thatās all. Doesnāt make you any less of a warrior. It happens to the best of us from time to time. It just means you have to check in with yourself. Ask yourself what is a truth that I am distracting myself from instead of sitting with it. You will have to do your own independent investigation until you get an answer. When you do, act accordingly. You got this, Dollface! š
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u/OldBoie17 1d ago
Stand up straight OP, take a deep breath, wear your most beautiful smile, hold your head up high towards the sun and move forward to your world. You are unique, you are worthy, you are important you will be seen and you will be found.
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u/Perfect-Kitchen-8599 1d ago
I can give you tough advice but you have to be at your limit to do it; remove yourself from any situation that makes you uncomfortable this includes people. Observe less, think less. I can look at you and tell your a smart guy so to put simple be dumb for a change, even though itās hard to unsee what you have already unfolded in your life ignorance is bliss for real take your time with this, be consistent with it and you will be in whatever mood you wish to be in šÆ
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u/Perfect-Kitchen-8599 23h ago
Look in the mirror and say āfuck you piece of shit, I love you you piece of shitā it sounds weird and off but please give it a try do it everyday until you start laughing at it you will start to not take things that happen personallyā¦ i love you man please give it a try it will work.
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u/Gregory_Gp 23h ago
Sometimes we lose sometimes we win. We're always a step away from changing everything that doesn't work. I too feel defeated, I have lost aim, people and most days I struggle to feel entusiams or hope, but I know we're still here and I know I can feel different, better, because I have felt that way. Gratefull to here even if it terribly sucks.
So for new beginings brother, even if it does feel like shit inside. You've got this!!
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u/MoDrippp 22h ago
You look like you have pain in your eyes, but your soul speaks louder. I sense the kindness you have, I hope you feel better as times passes š«¶š» hang in there ( P.S. love the beanie)
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u/swimmer39401 21h ago
I am sorry for your tough time. Keep your head up and remember, you are important, loved and a loving person. Keep pushing forward. ššāŗļø
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u/Salty_West_9916 21h ago
Hey man, your young and look very healthy. Look back and youāll see that your doing great.
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u/MamaSay2021 21h ago
Totally love the eyes and the fact that you're brave enough to put yourself out there knowing how cruel some people can be speaks volumes
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u/Palegreenhorizon 21h ago
I mean we know nothing about you. Tell us about yourself. I bet there are some cool things you are interested.
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u/Civil_Avocado_31 21h ago
The only kind words you need is from the Bible my friendā¦ flip to the book of John, and read the literal words of your savior JESUS CHRIST. Only his words should matter to you.
Go now and be set free! Give yourself to Christ!
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u/Plastic_Astronomer70 21h ago
Move around go to the gym... that's the key... take it and open the door...
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u/Spiritual_Diet7417 20h ago
This, too, shall pass. Good times and bad, it all changes. So keep going, friend. Defeated feelings wonāt last forever. Keep becoming the best version of you that you can be and shine your light! Bless you šš©µ
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u/Gaararulz5 20h ago
Yet here you are. Youāre only defeated when youāve given up all hope. You may have fallen time and time again brother, but you keep getting back up and you keep moving on. Strength is knowing that you need a hand some times, and that youāre not alone, and when to accept that hand rather than giving up. Youāve made it this far buddy, keep going and remember, there are those out there who will always have your back.
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u/Worried_Bother_9043 20h ago
When one door closes, another door opens. Everything happens for a reason, even if we donāt understand what that reason is. Your defeat is in the past - learn from it and grow. Tomorrow is a brand new day. Start your day by reflecting on the things that you have accomplished - no matter how small - and remind yourself of those things. Just the fact that you were wise enough to reach out to Reddit and ask for our support, takes courage - I see that as an accomplishment.
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u/strawsunn 20h ago
You deserve to be here. A part of this earth was carved out to make room for you. Donāt be afraid to occupy it.
I bet you have a cool skill or hobby, and even if you canāt think of anything, I bet you still do without realizing.
you have value simply by existing.
I hope you feel better soon ā¤ļøāš©¹
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u/Busy_Lengthiness5961 19h ago
Last week I (38m) was in a dead relationship with a raging alcoholic (46f) who was verbally and emotionally abusive. It finally ended and I asked my best friend at work out who is the kindest most compassionate person, who I have the deepest connection with, out. Weāve been spending a lot of time together and i am happier than I have ever been. Shit happens, but there are good people out there. Change is always happening, it embracing it that makes life fun. Good luck. Good days are right around the corner.
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u/parrotia78 19h ago
You look warm. That's a place of positive note from which to start an avalanche of positives.
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u/alivenkickin421 19h ago
Without knowing what's going on in your life, i will give you these words, Don't allow your emotions to control you we are emotional but learn to discipline your emotions if you don't learn to discipline and contain your emotions they will use you. What ever it is that you want you have to go all out to get it But it's not going to be easy change is never easy if it was easy everyone would do it. But if your serious youll go all out. Repeat to your self I'm in control here I'm not going to let this get me down, I'm not going to let this destroy me. I'm coming back and I'll be better for it. You have got to make a declaration this is what you stand for your standing up for your dreams, you standing up for peace if mind, your standing up your health. Take full responsibility for your life. Accept where you are and the responsibility to take it to where you want it to go. You can decide to live each day as if it were my last. Live your life with passion, with some drive. Decide your going to push yourself, remember the last chapter of you life has not been written yet! it does not matter what happened to you yesterday, it does matter what's happening now what matters is what are you going to do about it. Now go and become the best version of yourself without fear. You got this is see in your soul.
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u/Equivalent-Season497 19h ago
Iām sorry youāre having a tough go right now. I always know that it will pass eventually. Try to be kind to yourself. We are all human and we are all spinning on this rock together trying to survive. You have a sweet soul that is hurting now, but you make the world a better place.
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u/Ok_Policy5906 18h ago
First off..you're a good looking guy.
I've found that when everything is going good I tend to take those times for granted. Then everything turns to shit cause that's way life is lol
And I wish I paid better attention to the good times and appreciated them.
Because I know that life is like a Rollercoaster š¢ I try my best to work through the tough times.
You seem to be going through it. I'm sorry you're not feeling your best but you know you've been here before and you know things will get back to good.
My messages are open if you want to talk!
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u/AnteaterSpirited861 18h ago
Trudge along. If you are at your lowest, things canāt get worse. Only way now is up.
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u/PalpatineBaconQueen 18h ago
It isn't defeat unless you give up. It's only bad if you don't learn and grow from it.
It will get better. I believe in you and I'm proud of you, internet stranger, for reaching out for hope.
You got this
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u/GAFWT 16h ago
Ive always found that in a world of 1 fuck up ends a million hard works, one victory can really bring you up from being down. Try to accomplish one thing, and it might bring you back up. It doesnt need to be a big accomplishment or anything like, take a walk through the woods or something just to break your current cycle of defeats. You look like youre pretty in shape and that puts you ahead of most of the world!
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u/fungi_at_parties 16h ago
Iām not sure what to say but I really hope things get better for you. I can relate to feeling defeated but I know you and I can dust ourselves off and keep making steps forward every day. Sometimes steps back, but mostly steps forward. Itās ok if there is time in between, as long as we keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Iād love for you to try something:
Every morning, meditate for 20 minutes. You can do it on the toilet if you want instead of doom scrolling on your phone. Take deep breaths, and repeat to yourself little phrases in your mind, and try to believe them. Things like ātoday is going to go perfectlyā, or āI have everything I need already coming to meā, or āI am on the right path, even if I canāt see it right nowā. Focus on your senses, pay attention to what your being is like in the moment. Hopefully you will notice a feeling, one you can call up at will, a sort of feeling of peace. You can meditate like this anytime, just step back from everything and ābeā. Speak kindly to yourself for a moment and believe it.
This helps me, anyway.
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u/Chance_Ad4487 16h ago
Everything needs maintenance every once in a while. Just because now is your time to need maintenance doesn't mean you are broken for ever.
Making yourself vulnerable and seeking help shows great strength and self awareness.
Keep doing these things for yourself.
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u/lovetimespace 15h ago
Hey there, my heart goes out to you with the tough time you're having right now. Hang in there, you've got so much going for you: good looking, resilient, kind and stylish. And that's just from what I can see in this picture. I'm rooting for you!
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u/Beautiful-Owl-3216 15h ago
Bro, go out for long walks and start cooking grandma food like stew and cabbage. Slow down.
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u/SimAuditor369 15h ago
Hang in there man. Work on yourself. Get in shape, learn a skill to earn more or pickup a hobby. The more you work on yourself the better off you'll be.
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u/Jad3emperor 9h ago
Defeat isnāt a permanent state of being keep posting bro take a rest if you need it rest reevaluate and then re-engage
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u/Adventurous_Leek7049 8h ago
Tried to write something - lost it to the ethers. Mindfulness Meditation: pay attention to your breath. Say: Iām breathing inā. As you inhale, say: āIām breathing outā. Give it a try for a shout-term remedy. Good luck; and, Iām happily surprised with the number of kind souls offering love and support in these crazy and sometimes hateful times.
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u/RabbiTest 8h ago
Everything is temporary, even what you feel now. Take some time to reflect and slowly do the changes you want in your life. You are young, kind and a good looking dude. Go out there and live your best life
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u/Ok_Accountant2500 4h ago
I hope I get to see you smile soon my man!! The world deserves you and you deserve the world. Donāt forget how much youāre loved.
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u/Fantastic_BalanceGz 4h ago
Life goes on. Make a gratitude list, bro. You'll find it's surprisingly refreshing.
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u/Tearthe_mask197 3h ago
Put your album out dude. Stop listening to your loser friends. Theyāre jealous youāve accomplished anything. š.
Or is that my advice to myself. š„øš³
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u/DetectiveValuable380 2h ago
You're not alone my friend. I'm 65. Often very down and depressed and have no one to talk to
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u/Lexiwolf333 1d ago
You have kind eyes. The world isn't nice to kind people but hang in there. People like you are needed in this world.