r/simpleliving • u/Ancient-canis • 3d ago
Overcoming Envy and Finding Contentment in a Simple Life Sharing Happiness
Lately, I’ve been feeling a little stuck. My girlfriend gets to travel all over, checking out new places and having amazing experiences, while I’m stuck here. At first, it made me feel super envious. I’d catch myself thinking, “Why can’t I do that too?”
But instead of letting jealousy take over, I’ve decided to flip it into something more positive. Here’s what’s helping me:
Gratitude: I’ve started focusing on all the good stuff in my life—my goals, my passions, and the small wins I tend to forget about. It’s helping me see that I’m living a pretty great life too.
Perspective Shift: Her traveling doesn’t take anything away from me. If anything, it makes me think about the future and how I can make it happen for myself too.
Mini Adventures: Even though I can’t travel far right now, I’ve been exploring nearby places and making the most of the time I’ve got.
Focusing on Growth: I’m channeling this energy into working on my goals and building the life I want.
It’s not always easy, but I’m learning to appreciate what I’ve got and trust that my time will come. Anyone else feel this way sometimes? How do you deal with it when someone close to you is living a life you kinda wish you had? Would love to hear how you handle it!
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u/Historical_Pair3057 2d ago
I used to be obsessed with travel / wanting to travel. The concept of micro adventures (a book by Alastaire Humphreys) got to me to also see thst I can satiate my travel cravings by doing adventurous much closer to home. Camping out in someone's backyard, going to artistic events, exploring new neighborhoods...I still travel but less frequently and usually to see family or friends. And the craving to travel is nearly gone.
I think we'll look back and see travel as another consumption fad.
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u/teresasdorters 2d ago
Man thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings and being so honest. Your post really helped me today.
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u/mecho15 3d ago
Yes! And like you I like to focus on all the good things I have or have achieved and a) feel grateful for these and b) consider how these might be a source of similar thoughts for others. We’re all more similar than we think! Also, I can think of at least one instance where i coveted something a friend had (a prestigious job) and I got the same one! Wow. Andddd it turned out to not be so great. For either of us. So I like to think back on that example and really just remind myself that the grass is always greener…
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u/Road-Ranger8839 3d ago
Read "Living the Good Life" by Helen and Scott Nearing. It's an old book available on eBay or your fave used book site.
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u/yuzusnail 2d ago
I absolutely struggle with this too, helpful reading the comments here ToT thank you
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u/Confident-Till8952 3d ago
How is it that your gf travels so much without you?
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u/Ancient-canis 2d ago
She can travel, but since we're in different cities for now, it's not feasible for us to meet right now. Plus, we can't travel together at the moment, so we'll have to wait until the situation allows.
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u/YellowLabDad 18h ago
Sorry for the cheesy quotes, but this one always gets me:
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
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u/Designerfrog 10h ago
And you can travel in your own city. Adventure is a mindset. Travel and social engagements can be exhausting, but it’s really about gratitude and focusing on a positive vibration rather than the daily negatives. I’m sure your girlfriend could be complaining as many people do, but is choosing to be positive. You can use this time for yourself to do many amazing things and one day you can enjoy more of the joyous and not so joyous adventures in traveling. You can study the architecture and culture of places now too!
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u/jcirclee 3d ago
Envy is such a problem for me. It honestly seems like the root of 80% of my discontent in life. Just yesterday a coworker was telling me how his comic book printing business is valued at $5 million. He just works at our current job to keep from getting bored. That lead me on a wild search to find new passive income ideas or ways I could do the same.
It's important to put effort into learning how to step back and say "I have enough." It's still something I'm working on, but at least I know what to work on. As a software engineer, I've learned that knowing what causes the problem is 95% of the battle. Solving the problem, once you know what it is, is much easier.
Practically speaking, I've been using this app called Healthy Minds. It's similar to meditation apps like Balance and Calm, but it's 100% free, and the meditations are phenomenal, and all backed by science and research. I went through a few months of twice daily meditation a year ago and it made a huge difference in my life, including with my envy. Now, I'm getting back to that practice.