r/nottheonion 18h ago

Russian air defenses shoot down Santa Claus in Christmas video

https://www.newsweek.com/russia-shoots-down-santa-air-defense-2006514
4.5k Upvotes

1.1k

u/Greyhaven7 17h ago

Just like they shoot down passenger jets.

260

u/sunnyspiders 17h ago

It’s like an annual tradition for them

144

u/HoldYourHorsesFriend 15h ago

No it isn't, don't believe u/Greyhaven7 's western lies. Those passenger jets just fell off the balcony

51

u/Dominator0211 15h ago

It’s such a shame that so many jets keep falling out of windows

10

u/WayTooOldForThisMan 14h ago

Must be something in the pilots' tea.

9

u/JennieDianna 16h ago

At least the reindeer didn’t get the same treatment this year.

29

u/Illustrious_Apple_33 17h ago

"It wasn't me, it was a bird bro"

A really, really big bird. 🚀

12

u/jrizzle86 16h ago

Arguably Russia has a better track record of ‘accidentally’ shooting down commercial airliners than Santa

4

u/Winter-Anywhere-3963 16h ago

They said they thought it was one of those New Jersey drones

3

u/descendency 16h ago

I’m just wondering who was on the jet that they were aiming for

396

u/GreenStickBlackPants 17h ago

The point of the video is to get rid of the "foreign" Santa so that Grandfather Frost, the Slavic version of the same trope, can come back. That's the "Grandfather" at the end.

In terms of the "War on Christmas," this is friendly fire. Literally.

138

u/kattmedtass 16h ago edited 13h ago

Ironically, Grandfather Frost isn’t even that traditional in Russia. The figure was pretty much invented by the Soviet regime. They wanted to get rid of all religious symbols in the USSR, so naturally they couldn’t have Saint Nicolaus around anymore. So they popularized “Grandfather Frost” to replace him.

So, one could easily argue that their portrayal here of “Western Santa Claus” is a more traditional figure in Russian culture than “Grandfather Frost” is.

It’s all just very ridiculous.

7

u/Dertroks 7h ago

What kind of ridiculousness are you talking about? Ded Moroz is old folk tradition

39

u/catcherx 14h ago

Grandfather Frost was not invented by the Soviet regime. Just fucking look it up. It is the Russian Saint Nicolas from before the Soviet regime. And there are many more names for the role around the world

27

u/BarnardWellesley 13h ago

In 1840, V. F. Odoevsky’s “Children’s Tales of Grandfather Irinej” were published, in one of which (“Moroz Ivanovich”) the image of the folkloric Frost as a good giver was first introduced. Santa Claus, as a New Year’s character, began to crystallize in Russia at the beginning of the 20th century[9]. He first appeared at Christmas in 1910, but did not become widespread. When the anti-religious campaign began in the USSR in the mid-1920s, the Christmas tree and Santa Claus were banned. Santa Claus returned to Soviet life in 1937 by party directive. Since the 1930s, he has been a mandatory participant in theatrical performances that take place on the eve and during the winter holidays in kindergartens, schools, palaces of culture, on city squares, etc. (he first appeared on the Kremlin Christmas tree in 1937[10]). According to a typical scenario, he does not appear immediately, but after several invitations, which are chanted by all those present. Children do not receive gifts before his arrival[11]. Traditional gifts from Santa Claus consist of a set of sweets. At the same time, specialized companies (during Soviet times - bureaus of good services) provide a service for Santa Claus to visit families and institutions with pre-ordered gifts. Santa Claus is depicted in a long blue or red fur coat, girded with a belt, with a long white beard, in a fur hat and felt boots. He appears accompanied by his granddaughter, the Snow Maiden, and sometimes with a boy, the personification of the New Year. None of his foreign counterparts have similar companions.

6

u/catcherx 13h ago

Since the 19th century the attributes and legend of Ded Moroz have been shaped by literary influences, which were also influenced by the Western tradition of Santa Claus.[4] The play The Snow Maiden (named Snegurochka in Russian) by Aleksandr Ostrovsky was influential in this respect, as was Rimsky-Korsakov’s The Snow Maiden with libretto based on the play.[1][5] By the end of the 19th century Ded Moroz became a popular character.[citation needed] The children’s tradition of writing letters to Ded Moroz has been known since the end of the 19th century.[6]

21

u/NonEuclidianMeatloaf 17h ago

The ironic part would be to hear their response to “well where did the character Grandfather Frost come from?”

19

u/lthovesh 16h ago

The answer to that is a much older tradition, Grandfather Frost from Slavic mythology predates Christianity as a whole. “The origins of the character of Ded Moroz predates Christianity as a Slavic spirit of winter”

27

u/Lrauka 15h ago

Without reading the cited source, but from everything I can see, that's similar to saying Christianity predates Jesus, because it borrows from older pagan religions for a lot of its stories.

7

u/Anihillator 14h ago

But that's pretty much it? Like Christmas being Yule, like renaming Samhain into Halloween. It's not "Christianity predates Jesus", it's just old stories and traditions suddenly becoming "Christian" to please the locals and keep the tradition alive.

6

u/recycleddesign 12h ago

In the uk Father Christmas technically predates Christianity too. He used to be an old bearded wassailer with a Yule log, staff and bowl. That type character is a shared idea and it seems fair to say dates back to the vikings. This kind of character became known as a Father Christmas in the uk when the church moved jesus’s birthday to hijack the midwinter season and to incorporate Yule. More or less. There wasn’t necessarily just one father xmas at that point and a father xmas was basically all about crashing other people’s houses and feasting and drinking with them during the season, he didn’t give presents to kids really till the Victorian age. More or less. And he isn’t really Saint Nicholas to us, that’s been sort of absorbed too as a cross over with Santa Claus (Spanish/Latin name anyway of course) coming from uks shared culture with the US rather than Europe. The nearest we get to relating directly to European Xmas now is German style markets (that aren’t anymore) and singing the chorus to felis navidad. At this point there probably isn’t any real difference between all our folkllore figures of this kind and what they mean. They probably all originate from a version of Odin after the great hunt, which probably sort of served as an example to everyone to hunt, stock up, have plenty during midwinter and enjoy bountiful feasts.

1

u/ober0n98 2h ago

They want to toss santa in favor of krampas. Its the plot of red one

476

u/KP_Wrath 17h ago

This is not the flex they think it is.

277

u/Mega-Steve 17h ago

Especially since they likely shot down a passenger plane in  Kazakhstan the other day

103

u/coalsucks 17h ago

When the santa video rises to the top of "russian missile shot down plane" search results, the Russian plan will have been successful.

Just like "fraud guarantee."

20

u/pydry 14h ago

short video spreading on Russia's pro-government Telegram channels

There's a good chance that the "they" is not the "they" you think it is.

About 1/4 of all Telegram channels that claim to be pro Ukrainian are run by Russia to deliver propaganda and vice versa.

"It appeared on a telegram channel" carries about as much evidential weight as "it was announced by Donald Trump".

619

u/yaOlSeadog 17h ago

Where is Tucker Carlson on this? Is he still ranting about the war on Christmas?

114

u/FreeShat 17h ago

Blyat holidays

150

u/ITividar 17h ago

Nah, russia could invade Santa's workshop and Trumpers like Fucker Carlson would still simp for him.

33

u/Forsaken_War_5110 16h ago

Pretty sure Santa and the Elves could repel a Russian invasion at this point.

-13

u/Hinter-Lander 14h ago

Are you saying Santa and his Elves are militarily stronger than Ukraine?

12

u/ShellStruck_ 14h ago

Santa don't fuck around

11

u/Forsaken_War_5110 14h ago edited 13h ago

No Comrade... I'm saying Russias military and leadership are a joke. Russia is the largest country in the world... and was supposedly a 'Superpower'. They've been getting their ass kicked by a country the size of Texas for almost 3 years now. Remember when Putin said it was going to be a couple weeks 'Special Military Operation'? Lol! Now he's groveling to China and North Korea for help... pretty pathetic.

7

u/SimiKusoni 13h ago

The USSR was a superpower, Russia has never been considered a superpower outside of hyperbole and overexcited journalists conflating the two. They have similar GDP to Canada or Brazil and even that's questionable given how unreliable Rosstat have become over the last decade or so.

-12

u/Hinter-Lander 13h ago

Russia has occupied a good chunk of land for almost 3 years now. I do not equate this to 'getting their ass kicked'

11

u/Forsaken_War_5110 13h ago

Lol! Found the Russian troll... You're seriously embarrassing yourself at this point Comrade. Imagine the United States invading Cuba 3 years ago and our military had advanced about 10 miles inland... and had to ask Canada and Mexico for help to get that far. We would be the laughing stock of the world... like Russia is now.

5

u/Yitram 12h ago

When it was supposed to take them only two weeks to overthrow the Ukrainian government?

23

u/dan_dares 16h ago

FREE PRESENTS!!!!

COMMUNISM!

oh, wait, no we like that now

SOCIALISM!

wait.. do we like that?

rich person whispers in ear

SOCIALISM BAD,

3

u/ITividar 16h ago

He is the rich person. Tucker ain't broke.

3

u/Prophayne_ 14h ago

Just ain't smart enough to think for himself, thus the other rich white dude whispering in his ear.

It's easy to be rich if you live on Grifter Street.

2

u/Killersmurph 14h ago

You just got Elon the Muskrat SO EXCITED when he thought you said Free Peasants...

-4

u/bobre737 14h ago

Socialism is, in fact, bad.

10

u/hectorxander 17h ago

Yeah no shit someone should turn the tables on him, this would help make a great half joking ad about tucker and his patrons and allies actually waging the war against Christmas.

Not to mention warring against truth, the enlightenment, and representative government.

2

u/1983Targa911 15h ago

I’d love to see a “Trading Places” reboot with Tucker Carlson in it.

11

u/teflonPrawn 17h ago

He's still fawning over the fact that Russia has grocery stores.

1

u/livenn 15h ago

Russian puppets aren’t allowed to bite the hand that feeds

1

u/Throwawayac1234567 14h ago

Hes still struggling with the demon sex injuries

76

u/MisterFives 17h ago

In all fairness to Russia, they mistook Santa's sleigh for a passenger aircraft.

88

u/Rylonian 17h ago

Russian civilians cannot have nice things from the West because their dictatorship would rather shoot down anything foreign.

I see no deception in this video. Tbh, I am surprised that they are being so straightforward with it actually.

-9

u/ur_edamame_is_so_fat 8h ago

We don’t know the source for this video. It could have been made by either side

1

u/Alpha_Zerg 5h ago

What are you on?

Oh, wait, nevermind. You're either a bot or a troll, and I can't be arsed to figure out which.

44

u/YossarianGolgi 17h ago

They didn't wait for Santa to go near a window.

3

u/MrT735 13h ago

The bloke has a flying sleigh and jumps 2/3 stories down chimneys for a living, they probably couldn't guarantee going out of a window would finish him.

2

u/kooshipuff 12h ago

But their surface to air missiles could? Dude visits all the houses in the world in a night- if he's in any danger at all, he can just hit the boost and outrun anything.

17

u/ChessBorg 17h ago

Fucking weird.

70

u/SKULL1138 17h ago

The reason we know it’s fake is that the Russian guns all worked and hit their target.

24

u/Simmangodz 16h ago

Naw, Russian weapons only work on civilians, so this checks out.

7

u/God_Damnit_Nappa 15h ago

Russian anti air defenses are very effective against civilian targets

5

u/Consistent_Pound1186 15h ago

Hey hey they just shot down a civilian jet. As we know their weapons only works on civilians

2

u/Commercial-Fennel219 14h ago

Santa was clearly defecting with a pile of NATO munitions... Why would they shoot him down!?! 

8

u/jesbiil 15h ago

Republicans - "Dems have created a war on Christmas!!"

Russians - literally killing Santa

7

u/Skyhook91 17h ago

Passenger Jets, Mythical Figures, you name it ! Nothing is safe in Russian Airspace. Goodluck Russian Pilots LOL

8

u/Antique_Scheme3548 17h ago

But they told me Trump saved Christmas.

7

u/OkCryptographer9425 17h ago

Vodka good , Rudolph nyet.

6

u/NotsoSmokeytheBear 13h ago

They didn’t wait long after murdering 38 innocent civilians.

5

u/Horror-Layer-8178 16h ago

Well makes sense. Fascists hate everything they consider foreign

6

u/whatiscamping 15h ago

A 30 second ad on a 44 second video...fuck this world.

4

u/spongebobama 17h ago

Hey! Foil Arms and Hog alteady did this one!

4

u/F_i_F 14h ago

Happy Freeza day!

4

u/tuenmuntherapist 12h ago

They’re just jealous we have NORAD tracking the actual Santa.

3

u/Nobody275 15h ago

Explains why they hit so many passenger deaths. Imagine a world without Russia - so much happier

3

u/thegreatgazoo 15h ago

Sounds like a good way to summon Krampus

3

u/RelativeWeekend453 15h ago

Bad timing for this commercial

3

u/Hunter20107 14h ago

Pretty poor timing of the Russians to have this advert playing after the Aviation Incident.

Then again the Russias think 3 days is 2+ years so I guess timing isn't their forte

3

u/Deulski 14h ago

Subtle NATO compass bow on the gift in his sleigh

3

u/AltruisticRoutine220 10h ago

They're good in shooting at defenseless objects.

2

u/siouxbee1434 16h ago

Such a Russian thing to do

2

u/pornaccountlolporn 15h ago

Good, fuck that home invader stealing my goddamn cookies

2

u/JuuzoLenz 14h ago

Welp I guess Ignis Corps first Christmas operation has become a little too real now

2

u/LewisLightning 12h ago

Weird response to killing many of your own citizens

2

u/itsvoogle 17h ago

Congrats Russia…you will be getting a Whole lotta coal next year….

8

u/My_leg_still_hurt92 17h ago

Why should Russia be rewarded with heating supplies?

1

u/[deleted] 17h ago

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1

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1

u/CatProgrammer 16h ago

Reminds me of an anti-communist commercial I saw once that had the USSR nuking Santa.

1

u/purpleWheelChair 14h ago

I like how they try to act all strategic, but they’re the dumbasses that shot down a passenger plane.

1

u/lagordaamalia 13h ago

They done got him

1

u/The_Lucky_7 9h ago

Since NORAD tracked Santa all day this is about to be a propaganda war.

https://www.noradsanta.org/en/

1

u/rustyiron 6h ago

We are gonna be lucky to make it out of this century.

1

u/Bubblebut420 5h ago

Putin is mad Santa gave the Ukrainians all of the cool toys

1

u/FireZord25 2h ago

They'd be lucky to get off with a lump of coal. That's what Santa sends Darkseid every year.

1

u/RoyalRien 16h ago

This is fucked up but I must admit the moment just before Santa Claus gets obliterated is hilarious

1

u/mmmmpisghetti 16h ago

Wow that article is worth reading. Russia is tripping.

1

u/SprinklesHuman3014 16h ago

What? Red man giving gifts? Shoot down that Bolshevik!

1

u/TheRC135 16h ago

"No presents this year because daddy decided to fuck with the civilized world and got sanctioned."

1

u/Helgafjell4Me 15h ago

I like Steven Colbert's Christmas special better... the one where Santa punches Putin in the face.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tTihcVRU4E

1

u/koiproductions 15h ago

So at the same time they’re vehemently denying having anything to do with the Azerbaijan flight, they release this? SNL couldn’t write better irony

1

u/Chassian 15h ago

The red coat Santa Claus was allegedly popularized by Coca Cola, so he literally is a capitalist Santa Claus...

1

u/Pyrhan 14h ago

Holy shit that's some bad timing, immediately after they shoot down a civilian airliner! (Again...)

https://theaviationist.com/2024/12/26/azerbaijan-airlines-flight-8243-crash/

1

u/-GenghisJohn- 14h ago

What a winning culture.

-1

u/dickhead-9 17h ago

Everybody knows Santa Claus is a neo-nazi.

3

u/speculatrix 16h ago

He's a socialist, bringing peace and good will for free