r/nottheonion • u/devicto89 • 2d ago

B***h, new laws!' California shoplifting suspect surprised stealing is now a felony

https://www.fox13news.com/news/new-laws-california-shoplifting-suspects-surprised-stealing-felony
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u/BurtMacklin____FBI 1d ago

I for one, would absolutely download a seal.

31

u/V65Pilot 1d ago

My mechanic told me I'd blown a seal. I told him to forget about my sex life and fix my damn car.

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u/Jusby_Cause 1d ago

While they were doing that, I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar. A real dive. But, I knew the owner. He used to play for the Dolphins. I said, “HI GILL!”

You have to yell, he’s hard of herring.

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u/V65Pilot 22h ago

Ahh, nice to meet a fellow Redditor with a classy taste in music.