r/nottheonion • u/GoodSamaritan_ • 3d ago
Greenland again tells Trսmp it is not for sale
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c791xy4pllqo1.1k
u/BINGODINGODONG 3d ago
In other news, the Danish government just announced a (at least) 1.5 billion dollar defense bill for Greenland. Supposedly the timing is a coincidence.
For context, Denmark is a country of 6 million people with a yearly government budget of around 200 billion dollars (equivalent). Greenland is an independent country within the kingdom of Denmark, which houses around 50.000 people. But Denmark handles its defence, foreign and judiciary policy.
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u/PerpetuallyLurking 3d ago
It could have originated in fear of Russia in the Arctic, but then…yeah…
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u/Illiander 3d ago
Is there a difference anymore?
Trump is a Russian agent, after all.
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u/Not_an_okama 3d ago
I have to disagree. Trump may act in russian interest, but hed fuck them over just as quickly if given an opertunity to enrich himself.
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u/kalirion 3d ago
He can't fuck them over as long as they continue having whatever it is they do over him. So he's still their agent.
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u/HeftyArgument 3d ago
He’s done enough shit publicly that I can’t imagine they could blackmail him with anything
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u/God_Damnit_Nappa 3d ago
He idolizes Putin and showed multiple times that he'll bend over backwards for him. I think the Russians are the one group he wouldn't backstab
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u/hogtiedcantalope 3d ago
Bad take
Trump serves his own interests, which for reasons special to his himself involve being a fan of Putin, it only until it stops serving him
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u/StuffinYrMuffinR 3d ago
It has to be a coincidence because that's what we spend in a weekend on military.
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u/ritsume 3d ago
Did you add a zero somewhere by mistake? Denmark has a GDP of around 400 billion dollars, they couldn't possibly have an annual government budget that's worth 50% of GDP right?
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u/_name_of_the_user_ 3d ago
Just going to throw it out there. Canada has a friendly border with Denmark. Denmark is a part of Europe and the European Union. I say Canada uses this as a way to apply for entrance into the EU.
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u/tobberoth 3d ago
Having a friendly border with an EU country is not one of the requirements to join the union (marocco was denied in 1987). That said, Canada might actually technically be able to join under the copenhagen criteria. The Maastrich treaty say that a country has to be European to join the union, but there's no clear definition on what that means. Canada being a former british colony might be considered "politically european".
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u/Programmdude 3d ago
Honestly I'd love NZ to join the EU. Mostly for the visa free travel.
But we're too far away, it wouldn't make any sense economically.
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u/_name_of_the_user_ 2d ago
This is how we eventually move towards a utopian like world society like in star trek. I would love for stuff like that to start happening. More countries using the Euro. More countries with open trade agreements and borders. I think the EU was one of the best things to ever happen to humanity, and I hope it grows far and wide. There's no reason people in one part of the world should suffer while others are rich simply because people were born into an area with less resources. There's more than enough to go around for literally everyone.
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u/UncertainlyLuke 2d ago
Canada already has one of the best trade agreements with the EU as a non member. I don't see them ever joining
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u/DomoOreoGato 3d ago
Hes not even president yet and hes already making threats to allied countries. I really can wait for when he is sworn in
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u/ux3l 3d ago
"Greenland being part of USA is a necessity of national security."
"No can do. But they're part of NATO." (or not?)
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u/CankleDankl 3d ago
God I forgot how fucking exasperating it was to see headlines like this because the dumbass in chief doesn't know the first thing about how literally anything works. It's gonna be a long 4 years
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u/f3th 3d ago
Same. I saw this headline roll across a tv at work and just rolled my eyes. So it begins.
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u/snypesalot 3d ago
Meanwhile my dad was cheering and laughing at how brazen Trump is trying to get Greenland and the Panama Canal
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u/edfitz83 3d ago
Panama should tell Trump that there will be a new tariff on all ships going to or coming from a US port.
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u/beepos 3d ago
While that would be funny, probably not the best idea from a Panamanian perspective to poke to cocaine bear (Trump)
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u/God_Damnit_Nappa 3d ago
Trump would definitely be butthurt enough to invade Panama, and there's no way they'd be able to fend off a US invasion.
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u/Pistacca 3d ago
Trump can't invade without a supermajority 2/3 in Congress
Invasion is a serious escalation
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u/OldAccountIsGlitched 2d ago
What world are you living in? The last time congress voted on a declaration of war was during WWII.
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u/Pistacca 2d ago
No
The last time was on Iraq
i don't count the US forces in the Middle East because they are small and mostly support and train, very rarely do they go full Thanos and say "fine i'll do it myself"
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u/Gallirium 3d ago
The tables will quickly turn to “Trump did this.” I’ve been waiting for my I told you so moment, and this may be it
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u/Gloomy_Narwhal_719 3d ago
That would be a repercussion. There are no such things for the Orange God.
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u/ukexpat 3d ago
And we now know that Panama is investigating the trump org for tax evasion…I mean, Panama after which the Panama Papers were named, the by-word for shady tax practices, is investigating trump for tax evasion? It must be really fucking bad…
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u/ParsnipFlendercroft 3d ago
They don’t care if you don’t pay other countries’ tax as long as you pay theirs.
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u/evasive_dendrite 3d ago
People like your dad are why I'm fucking done with the states. 4 years of that moron was obnoxious enough, and now you've voted him in again?! Half your electorate seems to consist of bipolar mouthbreathers who just want to see the world burn. The US has definitively proven itself an unreliable ally this year and I'm going to urge my representatives that we move towards independence from it.
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u/EmilyFara 3d ago
4? He promised to purge the military, go for a third term, punish political opponents, to be a dictator from day 1 and that people didn't need to go through the effort to do another election. And out of all the false promises he gave over all the years, I truly believe he'll try to keep these
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u/Awkward_Pangolin3254 3d ago
He won't last long enough. The man is 78, overweight, doesn't exercise (beyond walking back and forth from the golf cart to his ball), eats like shit, and is about to return to one of the most stressful jobs in the world.
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u/ZakkuHiryado 3d ago
I wouldn’t count on it. Hateful people have a way of living a long time out of spite.
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u/Awkward_Pangolin3254 3d ago
It may just be wishful thinking on my part, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
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u/NukuhPete 3d ago
Not sure he cares about the actual work for it to create the normal stress the job provides. I just hope we don't find out what a J.D. Vance Presidency is like. Would it be worse? Would it be any different or a slight improvement? It's just a huge unknown for me.
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u/FiveDozenWhales 3d ago
Same agenda, pursued by the same cabinet, but with 95% fewer bottom-of-the-barrel idiotic statements.
So, substantially the same, and the same people will be be hurt more or less the same amount, but less cringe-inducing headlines like this one.
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u/lazyDevman 3d ago
one of the most stressful jobs in the world.
Yeah, stressful if you actually manage literally anything. The man is more likely to sit in the Oval Office like it's a throne and pick his nose while everyone else does any actual work.
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u/God_Damnit_Nappa 3d ago
For it to be the most stressful job in the world he has to actually work. All Trump does is play golf and use Twitter while taking a shit
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u/hoppertn 3d ago
For my sanity I’m taking a very proactive stance in avoiding political news the next 4 years. Haven’t watched a minute of cnn/msnbc/fox/cnbc since November 5th. AP and Reuters is the way to go for real news. How many times can you say out loud “how stupid can this guy be?”
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u/blbd 3d ago
I mute or disable any and all media in which he is quoted. Unless they clearly label it as a lie or an attempt to claim something rather than the word says, or otherwise cast a clear and well deserved shadow over its content.
Blind repetition of his idiocy by a clickbait obsessed media sector is the entire reason we are stuck with this idiot in the first place.
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u/classycatman 3d ago
Same here. No political news since election night. Using old.Reddit.com with RES for keyword blocking, Narwhal (for the same), and not listening to any XM radio in the car anymore… just podcasts that I enjoy (and have no politics).
It’s the only way I’ll stay sane for this “presidency.”
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u/Serialfornicator 3d ago
Unfortunately, I don’t believe he will leave after only 4 years
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u/earlofhoundstooth 3d ago
The man will die of natural causes before too much longer.
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u/No_Extension4005 3d ago
Man.... it still depresses me how a lot of good people die young for reasons beyond their control be it accidents, illness, or just being in the wrong place at the wrong time; and meanwhile people like Trump, Putin, Kissinger (though he's dead now, finally), and Pol Pot (also died a while back but lived a pretty damn long time) stick around for decades.
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u/KnowledgeIsDangerous 3d ago
You forgot? How did you and half the country forget four years? What the ever loving fuck?
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u/CankleDankl 3d ago
Oh, I remember plenty enough how much I hate him, and I took that to the ballot box. The realization hadn't dawned on me yet, though, that we're going to be reading shit like this constantly again for the next 4 years
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u/SeeMarkFly 3d ago
I don't hate him. It's just that he reminds me of the person that abused me when I was 11. Same build, same hair, same orangish complexion, same voice, same...WAIT A MINUTE!
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u/clintCamp 3d ago
Half the country blocked out the memories so that they could continue to follow their dear leader. I too am aghast of how people could say they wanted 4 more years of trump.
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u/No_Extension4005 3d ago
Too many stupid/gullible people + a chunk of the media being firmly in his corner + people just not voting is my guess.
Pretty much the same shit that enabled Brexit in the UK I'd say.
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u/Trump4Prison-2024 3d ago
Makes me wonder how absolutely incompetent the Dems have become if they keep losing to a literal felon.
This was a shoe in. A guaranteed victory. Maybe they should stop fumbling the ball and actually try to win.
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u/monsieur_cacahuete 3d ago
COVID. Between the weird side effects of the virus and the way trauma and stress messes with memory formation it honestly kinda makes sense.
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u/arslan70 3d ago
That's exactly how the people who voted for him relate to him. He's not a cause but a symptom.
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u/painedHacker 3d ago
It's not that he doesn't understand how it works... It's a threat.. that's the point
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u/CankleDankl 3d ago
I bet they're pure shakin in their fuckin boots
"I'll buy your country"
"Nah"
Chilling stuff
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u/DocPhilMcGraw 3d ago
I saw a clip from FoxNews in which Brian Kilmeade figured that the $1.5 Trillion price tag for Greenland would be worth it. I’m not sure where that figure came from or if he pulled it out from his ass.
But can you imagine the same crowd that complained for the last 4 years about the money our government was spending somehow justifying spending $1.5 Trillion to buy out a country?
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u/formerdaywalker 3d ago
Debt only matters when Democrats are in charge. Republicans are obviously doing what's right for the country and every price tag is worth the ends.
I wish I could /s this but from my observations it's truly how enough people feel to screw over the rest of the globe.
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u/Realtrain 3d ago
Trump's not even if office yet and he's already demanding the debt ceiling be increased.
Sure sounds like a fiscal conservative...
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u/God_Damnit_Nappa 3d ago
Trump ballooned the national debt but Republicans didn't give a shit about it until Biden came into office.
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u/Thinkofthewallpaper 3d ago
So, if my math is right, that's $30 million per person in Greenland? I mean...
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u/FiveDozenWhales 3d ago
Musk/Trump wanted to raise the debt ceiling (the thing Republicans supposedly hate) in order to slash taxes for the mega-wealthy.
They do not care when the government spends money. They care when it does under a Democratic president.
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u/Mister-Psychology 3d ago
If USA can spend $6 trillion on the Iraq and Afghanistan wars then less than $2 trillion seems fine for actually getting a geopolitical win for the money.
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u/APRengar 3d ago
I mean, there is definitely value in the purchase, but the real value is territorial expansion does really well with voters. People want to feel like they're winning, and what could be more winning than taking land. At least that's what they think.
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u/Snail_Paw4908 3d ago
It is too bad diplomats can't just take the gloves off. "Thanks, but we will wait a few more years for your housing market and healthcare systems to completely implode, and then maybe we'll buy a few states off of you, at a discounted rate of course."
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u/Ruadhan2300 3d ago
Or just mocking laughter, and a giggled "Go fuck yourself Mr Trump"
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u/wizardrous 3d ago
Why tf does he want to buy Greenland?
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u/UnderAnAargauSun 3d ago
Greenland has large deposits of rare earth minerals that are used for high tech manufacturing. For all I know Trump wants it because it’s big on the map or because he likes green or thinks it’s home to leprechauns, but Musk and Vance and Trump’s financiers want to rape the resources without paying. They know what’s up
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u/gtrocks555 3d ago
That and as climate change takes more effect, shipping lanes through the arctic will open up and Greenland will be in a good spot trade wise.
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u/Illiander 3d ago
The Greenland/Iceland/Scotland waterways are strategically important for monitoring Russian ships entering the Atlantic.
Denmark, Iceland and the UK working together could completely lock down Russia's northern warm-water ports.
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u/Chummers5 3d ago
big on the map
I know it's all hypothetical with trump but Greenland is actually much smaller than regular maps show. Linky link below let's you drag and compare country sizes. Greenland is about a third of the US.
the true size of countriesMA~!INNTI2NDA1MQ.Nzg2MzQyMQ)MQ~!CNOTkyMTY5Nw.NzMxNDcwNQ(MzMw)Mg~!GL*NTQyNzYyNg.ODgzNzQxNA)
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u/Drak_is_Right 3d ago
Rare earth deposits are a lot more common than. People think.
Issue is more the refining.
Some of the most apocalyptic photos in the world come from the Chinese rare earth refining city
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u/kevinds 3d ago
Same reason he wants Canada..
But it will be interesting because he really, really doesn't like to be told "No".
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u/Havoc098 3d ago
North west passage tbh is the likely reason. As the artic heats up there's going to be a valuable shipping route through the north. Canada has been softly claiming that the route belongs to them. US says it's international waters.
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u/M-elephant 3d ago
Greenland is a tiny part of the passage, the overwhelming majority is all Canadian coastline so that makes no sense
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u/thedeadlinger 3d ago
It's big.
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u/therealCatnuts 3d ago
And probably has incredibly valuable natural resources that will be more accessible with the global warming that is not happening.
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u/Coarse_Sand 3d ago
This man definitely thinks it’s huge because of Mercator projection
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u/Throwawayac1234567 3d ago
he will probably point to a country that looks green on the map if asked where it was.
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u/Drak_is_Right 3d ago
1) mining and oil interests, some rich people close to him have convinced him he needs it
2) on mercator projection maps Greenland seems quite large. In his mind large = good
3) someone told him Greenland is tied to global warming. So if the US buys Greenland he can stop it from warming with an executive order.
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u/molochz 3d ago
This is the kind of shite we have to read every other day for the next four years.
Yay /s
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u/Coarse_Sand 3d ago
This dumbass definitely thinks Greenland is the size of Africa because of Mercator projection
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u/Reasonable_Simple526 3d ago
I find it hilarious that the US has tried to buy Greenland so many times, there's an entire Wikipedia page on it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proposals_for_the_United_States_to_purchase_Greenland
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u/Izzy248 3d ago edited 2d ago
This essentially reminds me of when he tried to essentially buy Scotland, and its a large reason why he thinks he can get away with this too.
This happened over a decade ago around 2012, he wanted to buy and build a big private golf course there. The locals of course were against the idea, especially when they saw the plans and how much of their land he was going to be taking for his private course that would have overlapped and taken up much of their space, but of course, he appealed to the richest of the country.
He essentially promised their local politicians that he would pump millions into their economy (which never happened) in an attempt to speed up any approval processes. The local politicians bowed to his money and let him make the course, though the land he was given wasnt enough because some of it was still owned by the people, especially the farmers.
The farmers owned a lot of the land and refused to give it up, as much as he tried to "persuade" and bribe them to do the same. They never budged. In the end, he still made it, but had to settle on a size that wasnt to his liking. This didnt stop him or his team from continuously, for years, to try and run the farmers off their own land and try and force them to sell. There were numerous reports of various sabotage attempts, including tampering with the water supply, which is the life blood of any farmer or farmland. The local govt of course refused to do anything about it though, but the locals were steadfast and didnt budge still.
Even to this day, his giant golf course stands in Scotland, but he still hasnt fulfilled his end of the bargain of pumping millions into the country. Instead all he did was try to buy up a bunch of land, and make the entire place his private resort while trying to force the locals out.
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u/Juniper02 2d ago
american here. the people of the usa dont want more territory. what we want is better healthcare, more regulations on the 1% (and especially the 0.1%, ultra rich), and everyone, including government officials like trump, to be held accountable to the same standards that we are.
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u/trucorsair 3d ago
I hope that the 77 million plus who voted for him are proud
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u/SoulRebel726 3d ago
Anyone dumb enough to vote Trump in 2024 doesn't have that kind of self awareness or sense of shame.
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u/thecosmicradiation 3d ago
Being part of America gives nothing to Greenland. They have social security, they have free healthcare, they have their own elected officials, they're in the EU. Why would they want to be part of the US?
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u/No_Garden_1992 3d ago
Not a fan of Trudeau by any means but I wish he can address Trump and tell him that we’ll never be another 51st State. Trump can go eff off…
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u/Bapistu-the-First 3d ago
Like it isn't somehow strategically important for Denmark and the EU. Also the people of Greebland want things to remain as they are now. Case closed
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u/SavageCucmber 3d ago
I'm ashamed as an American. I don't want to travel internationally because I am ashamed of the American people. I find it hard to fathom that I am in the minority, which is the Americans who wanted nothing to do with this. It's so depressing.
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u/YoungDiscord 3d ago
Every headline about Trump is indistibguishable from florida man headlines.
Change my mind
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u/Bits_n_Grits 3d ago
Didn't forget that his team is excellent at creating rage bait to obfuscate other actions they really care about and matter. Greenland will never be bought or invaded and Trump knows that.
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u/explosiv_skull 2d ago
I'm convinced at this point Trump throws out these bizarre proclamations to distract from negative news and to force the news cycle to move on from embarrassing things like the recent L he took on the budget/government funding bill where 38 Republicans said "lol, no" to his demands even after he threatened to primary anybody that didn't fall in line. A day after he's being called Vice President Trump to Musk's "President" and he's threatening to take the Panama canal back and floating the idea of buying Greenland, two asinine ideas and yet the media took the bait hook, line, and sinker.
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u/Solid_Bake4577 3d ago
Unfortunately, Greenland, Trump is not the decision maker in this deal - he’s just the mouthpiece.
You need to cut out the middle-man and go to President Musk.
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u/El_Morro 3d ago
What's his obsession with Greenland? Where's the profit or personal benefit?
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u/Nexus03 3d ago
This video kinda explains why all the focus on Greenland and northern Canada:
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u/bacon-squared 2d ago
These countries should offer, seriously offer to buy a state from the US, like Florida for example. But give an insulting offer, but justify it. Like $435,000 for all of Florida, and point out all of its flaws to justify the price - Florida Man brings down the value, large swamp snakes. Alligators. Florida Woman. High insurance rates. Crazy weather. Beaches being lost. Poor education system, etc.
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u/Purplebuzz 2d ago
They should tell him he already bought it so he can move on to the next batshit crazy thought that pops into his dementia ravaged head.
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u/meatpardle 3d ago
Separately on Sunday, Donald Trump threatened to reassert control over the Panama Canal, one of the world’s most important waterways - accusing Panama of charging excessive fees for access to it.
Ain’t capitalism a bitch
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u/HurryOk5256 3d ago
Their president said they’re not for sale today, but what about tomorrow??? 4D Chess… well actually it just might be, sort of. While we’re all discussing this and talking about attacking Panama, Trump’s Merry band of billionaires are going to Rob the United States of everything they can, while simultaneously taking away our rights and privileges.
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u/Responsible-Room-645 3d ago
I really wish they’d drop the diplomatic niceties and just tell him to go fuck himself
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u/lesstalkmorescience 3d ago edited 1d ago
If Denmark was smart, they'd take Trump up on his offer, but the price would be ... Canada. Which Trump is also going to annex. Then Denmark can finally control both sides of Hans Island. Yeah, checkmate Canada, you didn't see that coming, did ya now?
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u/OisforOwesome 3d ago
The play IMO would be to say Greenland is for sale but on layaway, charge elevnty trillion dollars, bank the cheques and make up additional service fees so that the purchase price is never met and laugh all the way to the bank.
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u/kanakamaoli 3d ago
Interest only, Ballon payment, 99 year term. When defaulted, property reverts back to greenland.
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u/EndStorm 3d ago
With all these threats to other nations, and other dubious activity, is the US officially the bad guy now?
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u/_Schrodingers_Gat_ 3d ago
Fools think he would pay. Haven’t they see how he treats literally everyone else? Except the porn stars he is paying to keep quiet his affairs while his third immigrant wife is busy popping out an anchor baby.
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u/Silly-Scene6524 2d ago
Someone is feeding orange menace this garbage, he has no original thoughts.
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u/hoochykoochy 1d ago
I hear Greenland, Mexico, Panama & Canada are going to annex the US. And, why not? If Trump says he can, why not turn the tables?
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u/The84thWolf 1d ago
Greenland should just not respond to Trump. Ignoring him is the worst thing they can do to him.
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u/MrBigTomato 1d ago
Not one moron in Trump’s cult has ever ever thought about Greenland or Panama in their life, not for a second, but now they’ll be enraged about it. “The Dems and Woke Folk are trying to keep Greenland and Panama from us!!”
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u/GoodSamaritan_ 3d ago edited 1d ago
Denmark just announced a $1.5 billion boost in defense spending on Greenland. Coincidence?