r/idiocracy 16d ago

Grocery prices set to rise as soil becomes "unproductive" The Thirst Mutilator

https://www.newsweek.com/grocery-prices-set-rise-soil-becomes-unproductive-2001418
497 Upvotes

116

u/ryebread157 16d ago

Obvious solution: Brawndo has what plants crave. It’s got electrolytes.

10

u/Phrainkee 16d ago

I like lattes

4

u/enderofgalaxies 16d ago

Electro-lattes. Yum.

6

u/Bodie_The_Dog 16d ago

We don't have time for that right now!

1

u/twstwr20 16d ago

We don’t have time for a hand job at Starbucks right now. Ok

3

u/loco500 16d ago

Lunchly is the future of gourmet meals...

2

u/Pitiful_Housing3428 16d ago

The THIRST QUENCER!!

2

u/GJPENE 16d ago

Time for Toilet Water

2

u/nickwoes 14d ago

You just need to water it.

Like from the toilet?!

52

u/Ben-solo-11 16d ago

Just pour toilet water on it.

22

u/stinkyhooch 16d ago

Toilet water, like from the toilet?

3

u/Prochnost_Present 16d ago

This is true, it’s great for supporting life. North Korea does it and their intestinal worm population exploded 🪱

1

u/EldraziAnnihalator 16d ago

Meat stays perpetually in your stomach and intestines, no need for "abundance", truly the best Korea!

33

u/Brandunaware 16d ago

This is what happens when you don't give plants what they crave.

55

u/StarfleetGo 16d ago

Don't let big farm Corp see this. Heaven forbid we use soil regeneration and crop rotation along with natural fertilizer....

Just keep pumping that nitrogen and profits right?? Then we have to fall back on gmo soy with vaccines included because it's the only food left...right??...

Clown world. 🤡 

1

u/stinkyhooch 16d ago edited 16d ago

What are the vaccines for?

Edit: I’m genuinely asking, the soy + vaccines confused me

-5

u/AtillaThePundit 16d ago

Ironically he’s a right wing trumptard I think . Little does he suspect that he is the idiocrat

-1

u/JerryRiceOfOhio2 16d ago

finally, someone else that uses the term trumptard

3

u/hotdogbun65 16d ago

If you’ve been using Reddit for more than an hour there is literally no way you haven’t seen someone say that.

11

u/nunyabizz62 16d ago

Just need to go back to natural farming methods, bring soil back to life

6

u/Alexandertheape 16d ago

humans can’t do anything right

6

u/bonesnaps unscannable 16d ago

According to the FAO, soil erosion "occurs naturally under all climatic conditions and on all continents, but it is significantly increased and accelerated by unsustainable human activities (up to 1,000 times) through intensive agriculture, deforestation, overgrazing and improper land use changes.

Skill issue. Maybe stop the shitty practices and things will get better? Incentivizing profits over sustainability and then finding out it causes problems, is indeed idiocracy.

5

u/jcoddinc 16d ago

They're raising prices already before anything bad happens and then will raise them again. People just going to stay stealing more

5

u/Savings-Fix938 16d ago

Needs more electrolytes

6

u/jimihughes 16d ago

Brawndo does that.

4

u/Ill_Athlete_7979 16d ago

I’ve been worried about this for 10+ years, though I thought we had another 50 years before we’d start seeing a problem.

2

u/eggflip1020 16d ago

You know I just went the IMAX re-release of Interstellar…. This is not giving me good vibes.

4

u/perplexedparallax 16d ago

The soil isn't the issue regarding prices. Lack of field workers in 2025 will be the American problem.

1

u/BenTubeHead 16d ago

Nyet, grow hydroponic underground lit with fart methane powered generators.

1

u/loco500 16d ago

This does not sound bueno, amigos...

1

u/whit9-9 16d ago

What? OP should've used dead or dying.

1

u/Anpher 16d ago

I am counting this as "Dust Bowl" on my "The Depression 2 Bingo" card.

With "Can't afford house" from yesterday, I Just need ,"Dumbass Tariffs" before I call bingo.

1

u/jmaccity80 16d ago

I saw a documentary about this stuff called Soylent Green. People were rioting just to get some. We should really look into that.

1

u/Doodleschmidt 16d ago

People should have babies like rabbits so they can bring kids into this future.

1

u/panzerpro 13d ago

Toilet water to the rescue!

1

u/-Helen-Bach- 9d ago

This article coming from Newsweek is just proof enough that this is ALL just “more corporate propaganda to justify high food prices. Corporate entities are saying that the soil is at risk. “AT RISK”. Doesn’t say that the soil is not producing. It says that the soil is at “risk” of not producing. Well, duh! That doesn’t mean that you should just continue raising food prices on people just because you think there’s a “risk” that the soil might not be as productive as it has been in the past.

I’ll guarantee you that you will have less produce from the soil if you use less seed! Duh!

If you don’t plant anything at all, I guarantee you nothing will grow! Duh!

So what are natural fertilizers for, again?! Hmmmm….DUH!

What a bunch of greedy little *UNTS they ALL are! None of this is stuff is true and it’s just a bunch of more lies and scare tactics so that corporations can continue raising prices on consumers without any oversight or explanation as this is there explanation and their justification for continuing to do so unabate.

…and then these corporations wonder why corporate CEO’s are starting to get stalked, threatened and targeted. Society has its breaking point and corporations should pump the brakes and slow their roll. Just saying. 🤷🏻‍♂️

-3

u/Krypto_Kane 16d ago

This is BS. They have been saying it for years