r/dndmemes Paladin Mar 25 '21

No, you’re not chaotic neutral, you’re just an a**hole eDgY rOuGe

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27.7k Upvotes

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385

u/Burning_Toast998 Mar 25 '21

Sorry, I'm a caprisun! It's in my nature!

115

u/BloodBrandy Warlock Mar 25 '21

So you stab people with a tiny yellow straw?

53

u/Mobius1424 Mar 25 '21

You'd need ungodly high rolls to hit with that though. Those tiny yellow straws are notorious for slipping on the sections they're supposed to pierce.

19

u/Whoopa Mar 25 '21

So aim for the nose and you’ll hit an eye!

6

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

"The straw slips by the nose"

"Oh..."

"Into his eye"

"Oh!"

"And then it bends"

"Oh..."

4

u/josborne31 Mar 25 '21

Easiest to just flip the bag over and shove the straw through the bottom of the pouch.

1

u/cbiscut Mar 26 '21

Nah, THEY'RE the caprisun. They like to be penetrated violently and drained of their sweet fluids.

79

u/Dinsy_Crow Mar 25 '21

Innocent NPC: Why are you murdering me!?
Edgy Rogue: I'm a scorpio lol!

4

u/pulkittagarwal Mar 25 '21

OOC : That's a scorpio.

3

u/GloInTheDarkUnicorn DM (Dungeon Memelord) Mar 26 '21

Lmao in my experience the Scorpios that have to tell everyone they’re a scorpio are the absolute worst about this.

35

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

"Sorry I'm a saggytits, so naturally I'm..."

*googles*

"...disappointed by the fact that I'm not good at everything? So I'm prone to abuse substances???"

2

u/rares215 Mar 26 '21

Shit, today I learned I'm a saggytits.

8

u/enter-alt-name-here Mar 25 '21

They didn't respect the pouch

3

u/JordantheGnat Mar 25 '21

Dude same! I’m such a capsaicin, I love the spice of life