Fun Fact: Dragonborn Canonically do not have butt holes

[u/NOX3M]

[u/Thodar2]

Where does it even say that? You can't just make such a claim and not at least give us a source.

The assholes of races is vital information not to be withheld from the public.

[u/Thendrail → u/Thodar2]

The assholes of races is vital information not to be withheld from the public.

Dare you roll for anal circumference?

[u/VisualGeologist6258 → u/Thodar2]

All my characters are the assholes of their races

[u/egosomnio → u/Thodar2]

Someone should email Ed Greenwood. He might have thoughts on the matter.

[u/Level_Hour6480 → u/egosomnio]

Ed Greenwood is only an authority on the Realms, not core D&D lore. They are not the same.

[u/egosomnio → u/Level_Hour6480]

Yes, but so far as I'm aware no one who is an authority on Greyhawk, Dragonlance, Ebberon, etc has been willing to indulge the internet's weirdly specific questions about various races to the degree that he has, so for something like this he's probably the best shot someone has to get anything resembling a canon answer for any setting, let alone all of them.

[u/Level_Hour6480 → u/egosomnio]

There's still the core lore of books like the PHB/MM, which is core D&D but not setting specific. Perhaps Chris Perkins?

[u/BiteEatRepeat1]

Where in the world did you find that

[u/Guarder22 → u/BiteEatRepeat1]

OP is probably stating that dragonborn are reptiles. Reptiles have cloacas not ass holes.

[u/Level_Hour6480 → u/Guarder22]

Which is wrong: They're canonically scaly mammals.

[u/BiteEatRepeat1 → u/Level_Hour6480]

So they don't lay eggs? Or are they like a platypus

[u/Level_Hour6480 → u/BiteEatRepeat1]

They do lay eggs, like platypi and echnidnas which are also egg-laying mammals. They canonically have warm blood and boobs, which in morphological terms would make them "Mammals", but modern taxonomy is evolutionary not morphological: You're only a "Mammal" if you're descended from the mammal evolutionary line, which excludes everything with a creationist origin. This means that Dwarves, Dragonborn, and Elves would not be "Mammals" to modern science.

[u/BiteEatRepeat1 → u/Level_Hour6480]

This scaly shit is seriouse

[u/Mr_Fox9 → u/BiteEatRepeat1]

Has feet like a duck, but is furry

[u/BiteEatRepeat1 → u/Guarder22]

My dumbass thought there was an official book talking about dragonborn assholes...

[u/EnergyHumble3613]

Cloaca?

[u/Talon6230 → u/EnergyHumble3613]

i feel like then you'd just have to worry about a smelly cloaca instead.

[u/EnergyHumble3613 → u/Talon6230]

Yeah… that and species with a cloaca reproduce differently so the males don’t get a penis. They just touch cloaca together and they are done…

Hold up. Wasn’t there some wild debate on the canon fact that Dragonborn have breasts?

I am having flashbacks to a year or two ago about how indeed they do but Elves are divinely androgynous so they have no visible secondary sex characteristics (Breasts, body hair, etc.). I still don’t know if Elves breastfeed or if they are just born with teeth… and likely never will.

[u/Level_Hour6480 → u/EnergyHumble3613]

Scaly mammals do not have cloaca though.

[u/Guarder22 → u/EnergyHumble3613]

Only thing that makes sense.

[u/ABoringAlt]

There's still a shit-hole, doof

[u/Level_Hour6480]

What is your lore-basis for this? If it's that reptiles have a cloaca, Dragonborn are not reptiles. If you want to have a cloaca, be a bird, Lizardfolk, or a Yuan-Ti that has a snake lower-body.

Fun fact aboot snakes and Lizards: males still have a penis, or rather penises. It's called a "Hemipenis": One penis that splits into two ends.

[u/shasaferaska → u/Level_Hour6480]

Dragonborn are overgrown Pangolins.

[u/Level_Hour6480 → u/shasaferaska]

More accurate than lizard, but they do lay eggs which pangolin don't, plus all the draconic elemental stuff.

[u/shasaferaska → u/Level_Hour6480]

I was just being racist.

[u/Level_Hour6480 → u/shasaferaska]

Well that's just a waste of perfectly good racism that could be directed at Elves.

[u/shasaferaska → u/Level_Hour6480]

I'm only racist toward inferior races.

[u/Level_Hour6480 → u/shasaferaska]

So everyone but Dwarves, but especially Elves?

[u/shasaferaska → u/Level_Hour6480]

Dwarves are fat alchoholic midgets who live in dirt tunnels.

[u/Tenbed → u/shasaferaska]

I didn't need to be called out like that

[u/NOX3M]

Fun Fact: My autistic ass didn’t realize that Tav was joking in BG3, and that wasn’t a wild lore drop! Check your sources before speaking like an idiot folks!

[u/Level_Hour6480 → u/NOX3M]

BG3 is wrong aboot a lot of lore: It has Elves that aren't androgynous, Orcs that are green, Dragonborn who don't have boobs, and Warlocks who channel magic directly from their patron like a Cleric.

[u/Level_Hour6480 → u/NOX3M]

I think I know what you're referencing: Any "Uncommon" race can use that line to bullshit the person.

[u/Marco_Polaris → u/NOX3M]

Cursed to walk the Post of Shame.

[u/Immolation_E]

Kim Jong Un's favorite D&D species.

[u/RedShirtCashion]

Well that’s going to make the Dragonborn-githyanki romance a little more interesting