r/dndmemes DM (Dungeon Memelord) Nov 11 '24

"I'm doing fine over here, guys." Goblin Deez Nuts

Post image
1.5k Upvotes

720

u/Level_Hour6480 Paladin Nov 12 '24

My character is an Elf Fighter. He's a Dwarf Paladin, but he likes fighting Elves.

352

u/Duraxis Nov 12 '24

“I’m playing a Dwarf slayer”

“Cool, I’m playing a Dwarf hunter”

“I’m playing a Dwarf assassin too”

The Dwarf cleric, crapping themself “so… a full party of Dwarves eh? Hehe, cool”

94

u/EnergyHumble3613 Nov 12 '24

Rock and stone to the bone.

17

u/Impossible-Net-2221 Nov 12 '24

Rock and Stone!

2

u/Cayet96 DM (Dungeon Memelord) Nov 13 '24

THY CAKE DAY IS NOW🗣️!

Yeah-yeah Rock and Stone

16

u/Duraxis Nov 12 '24

…I now want a medieval spin off of DRG, with like a fighter, a rogue, a wizard and a cleric

11

u/Malkezial Nov 12 '24

Gunner -> Fighter

Scout -> Rogue

Engineer -> Wizard

Digger -> ... cleric? Every other one fits really well, can you sell me on this one?

9

u/SwitchLightbulbs Nov 13 '24

His C4 do be a case of divine intervention with how destructive it do be

3

u/Banajet Nov 13 '24

Engineer -> Artificer Driller -> Open Hand Monk - make those hands work

138

u/Taco821 Wizard Nov 12 '24

Oath of Racism, the strongest oath of all (and hardest to break)

84

u/Level_Hour6480 Paladin Nov 12 '24

It's not racism if it's an Elf.

10

u/Taco821 Wizard Nov 12 '24

Oh shit, you are the one I was just talking to lmao

34

u/K4m30 Nov 12 '24

Yes, that's how replies work.

7

u/Taco821 Wizard Nov 12 '24

No I meant earlier lmao, not just there

2

u/Chrrodon Nov 12 '24

With elves it's more like a culture trait.

12

u/Neronafalus Nov 12 '24

Hey, I mean you know why Dwarves have axe proficiency right? It ain't cause you use em for mining or anything, it's cause those damn dirty knife-ears live in trees.

6

u/Level_Hour6480 Paladin Nov 12 '24

knife-ears

Elves are also freakishly skinny, completely androgynous, smelly, and universally smug, why default to something as minor as ear-shape? Gnomes also have knife-ears, but Gnomes are cool.

Be better.

5

u/Neronafalus Nov 12 '24

Hey man, I'm just repeating the joke I was told by a Dwarven barbarian, I don't think he knew those other things. I'm honestly shocked he knew what a tree was...

1

u/undreamedgore Nov 13 '24

Gnomes are just halfling elves.

2

u/Level_Hour6480 Paladin Nov 13 '24

Gnomes are the few good aspects of Elves without the maaaaany bad aspects: what Elves would be in a just world.

In my home game, Gnomes are actually a Dwarf/Elf hybrid species.

2

u/undreamedgore Nov 13 '24

In my current game most of the party are dwarves oe raised by dwarves. This was not planned. One of our backup characters is even a drow raised by dwarves. My character is a gnome, raised by dwarves.

None of us even speak elvish.

367

u/GreyFeralas Nov 12 '24

What the hell is a masturbator demon?

402

u/Pewpewgilist Nov 12 '24

I dunno, but it sounds like the fighter should be able to solo it

195

u/lankymjc Essential NPC Nov 12 '24

“I could beat you one-handed!”

29

u/FrenchTantan Nov 12 '24

angry upvote

172

u/Interneteldar DM (Dungeon Memelord) Nov 12 '24

I just clarified with the DM. It's officially called a Yagnaloth. The DM described one of its arms as much more muscular than the other, and you know how D&D players are...

79

u/Chagdoo Nov 12 '24

The official artwork literally looks like the quagmire meme.

3

u/KarasukageNero Nov 15 '24

He's been yagging off, clearly.

25

u/rogue_noob Nov 12 '24

Trying to make them fail NNN

26

u/Ok-Try-2409 Nov 12 '24

I don't think you want to know

56

u/caelenvasius DM (Dungeon Memelord) Nov 12 '24

No, I think I do. 🤨

15

u/Acrobatic_Remote_792 Nov 12 '24

I do as well. And I want to see the stat block for it

22

u/Daegzy Nov 12 '24

You would think it has high dex or str, but surprisingly, no.

39

u/Furoluro Nov 12 '24

Amazing Wis and Con though, disturbingly proficient in animal handling

5

u/Shadows_Assassin Forever DM Nov 12 '24

Expertise in Animal Handling, Insight and Athletics

4

u/Hremsfeld Artificer Nov 12 '24

Plus expertise in Use Rope. Sure, it's not an official skill anymore in 5e, but they're still really really good at it

5

u/adol1004 Nov 12 '24

I don't think you know either

3

u/Akul_Tesla Nov 12 '24

I want everyone else to know to give me a rough context. That's the least horrifying possible, but I personally don't want to know

4

u/Lamplorde Chaotic Stupid Nov 12 '24

Why do you think the Elf Fighter is fighting them with only one hand?

2

u/TexasJedi-705 Warlock Nov 12 '24

He's a real wanker

1

u/Nocatsonthemoon Nov 12 '24

Masturbator demon sounds like a good time on a friday night

126

u/ZweihanderPancakes Nov 12 '24

Reminder that, based on these, the entire rest of the party had less success than the elf fighter, who downed one of his opponents before being incapacitated.

33

u/Gobblewicket Warlock Nov 12 '24

Well, seeing as how one of the elf's opponents doesn't exist, and the other is a CR 8, they should. If you're high enough level to tangle Pit Fiends, a chain devil is just cannon fodder.

11

u/First-Squash2865 Nov 13 '24

Bro totally forgot about the yugoloths

6

u/FFKonoko Nov 13 '24

The "masturbator demon" is a Yagnoloth, it exists, CR 11. And a CR 11 and CR 8 against one character, compared to 4 characters vs a CR 20? I dunno, CR matters, but that is a brutal gap in action economy between the two fights.

42

u/Parking-Mushroom5162 Nov 12 '24

Not enough comments are talking about the 'masturbator demon' honestly.

3

u/Jounniy Nov 16 '24

Except that literally every other comment is…

44

u/Incognito42O69 Nov 12 '24

Masterbator demon?????

17

u/marsz_godzilli Nov 12 '24

I think I am not deep enough in DnD lore

...

What is a masturbator demon?

8

u/Chagdoo Nov 12 '24

Yagnoloth.

22

u/GhostOfTheMadman Murderhobo Nov 12 '24

Damned knife ears having all the fun.

11

u/Arthur-reborn Nov 12 '24

You wander to Atlantis while the party is fighting a boss you can deal with the consequences

3

u/Snoo_72851 Nov 12 '24

I mean, they're the fighter. It's a fair fight.

5

u/Independent-Top4473 Nov 12 '24

If you have a warforged fighter who isn’t tanking, you’re either doing something wrong, or you have a very interesting build.

2

u/Black-Iron-Hero Nov 12 '24

I haven't played in ages but I used to love doing this. I built this super tanky Sorcadin with 21AC and the Shield spell. I'd charge head first into packs of enemies and get swarmed brutally. Since it was such a strong build, I only used Shield when below half HP, with the logic that my Sorc powers were hard to control unless I really needed them. I used to take fucking beatings. It was sick.

Once, our party got ambushed in this cave by a big force waiting outside for us, and our wizard put Greater Invisibility on me so I could sneak behind and flank, but the Wiz lost concentration the next turn when I was standing like 40 feet away from the rest of the party at the mouth of the cave, facing down this small army. I held the bottleneck and stayed up on about 4hp by the end of the fight. It was glorious.

3

u/JulienBrightside Nov 13 '24

The knight from the elder scrolls trailer :p

2

u/Nobisyu_12 Nov 12 '24

Woah demons and devils fighting alongside one another! Crazy!

This is just me being pedantic about devils/demon terminology /s

2

u/Darth_Anddru Druid Nov 13 '24

Mastabator demon, is the elf fighting his own mental demons or something?

1

u/Heller_Hiwater Nov 12 '24

I had a fight like this with my half-elf champion fighter. There were two large enemies on one end of the camp and like 6 bandits around a campfire just inside a ruin wall. Told my party I’ll take care of the riff-raff, you guys deal with the ogres. Charged with my horse jumped off at them and started slashing with my flametongue great-sword. Got all but two down when my party finishes off the ogres and starts heading my way. I told them to stay back, it’s my fight. Almost died but definitely worth it. Most badass thing I’ve ever done in game.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '24

We all battle our own demons.

2

u/TieberiusVoidWalker Karsus Expert Nov 21 '24

Why is a devil, yugoloth, and a demon working together?

Wait do you mean chain devil? Genuinely curious.

0

u/CapN_DankBeard Nov 12 '24

It’s like op doesn’t know dnd or marvel, can’t tell which atm haha

1

u/Interneteldar DM (Dungeon Memelord) Nov 12 '24

How so?

-4

u/ChaosDoggo Chaotic Stupid Nov 12 '24

I was in a situation like this once but was mostly fine cause my character was kinda overpowered.

+15 for a longbow and a longsword on level 5 does wonders.