Roast me. Do your best or worst......

[u/jpdudley]

[u/Emergency_Scholar237]

Does it make you feel bad that you will never be able to get higher than your own cholesterol?

[u/ComplaintAmazing5642 → u/Emergency_Scholar237]

Seems 420 is his cholesterol level and also weight.

[u/mam88k → u/ComplaintAmazing5642]

Bro has reached enlightenment!

[u/ch3apsunglass3s → u/mam88k]

Just because he is built like the Buddha doesn't mean he is enlightened. Just a fat guy who is high as senators socks.

[u/IlikegreenT84 → u/Emergency_Scholar237]

Judging by the look in his eyes he's currently experiencing a toke and stroke.

[u/tdurden1969 → u/Emergency_Scholar237]

[u/goatsticks717 → u/Emergency_Scholar237]

Dabsabetes

[u/Juan_Calavera → u/Emergency_Scholar237]

💀

[u/C-57D → u/Emergency_Scholar237]

Bro, this new Lipid Pineapple is sick. LDL/high terpenes blend that'll send u

[u/bulktruck → u/Emergency_Scholar237]

😂

[u/jpdudley → u/Emergency_Scholar237]

Definitely my favorite.....lol.

[u/Unique_Effort7106 → u/Emergency_Scholar237]

[u/Necessary-Banana-600 → u/Emergency_Scholar237]

Rofl 🤣😂

[u/North-Sir1491]

ZZ Bottom

[u/mrpink01 → u/North-Sir1491]

Jesus this fucking cracked me up

[u/Desperate_Garbage831 → u/mrpink01]

ZZ power bottom? Asking for a friend

[u/Scaindawgs_ → u/Desperate_Garbage831]

Shooting your shot in r/RoastMe...

[u/Firm_Negotiation_853 → u/mrpink01]

No Jesus just left Chicago. He couldn’t crack you up too.

[u/jpdudley → u/mrpink01]

You are welcome.

[u/mrpink01 → u/jpdudley]

Sorry man I bet we'd be buddies in another timeline smoking one for ya lol

[u/stormincincy → u/North-Sir1491]

ZZ Down

[u/3RDGENX → u/North-Sir1491]

Fuckin' genius! 😂

[u/RomulanRebel → u/North-Sir1491]

Omg lmaooo

[u/TheOpalHut → u/North-Sir1491]

ZZ top if the kids don't run fast enough

[u/Elegant-Aspect-5510 → u/North-Sir1491]

No shirt, no shoes, still don’t know what he’s going to do…

[u/Subotai_Super_Shorty]

Ah yes, the classic burnout Gen-Xer that thinks smoking 24/7 is a personality.

[u/New-Swan3276 → u/Subotai_Super_Shorty]

Is this any different than all the other burnouts?

[u/Cranktique → u/New-Swan3276]

Every other generation is doing it “ironically”.

[u/nextCosmicBuffoon → u/Cranktique]

🤣

[u/IllustriousMoney4490 → u/Subotai_Super_Shorty]

He’s already baked should we still roast him

[u/Kizzy33333 → u/Subotai_Super_Shorty]

What time do you need to be back to the carnival?

[u/goatsticks717 → u/Subotai_Super_Shorty]

this ‘burnout’ probably makes six figures doing something that would’ve caught him six felonies only a few years ago…

[u/SS3599]

I bet you finger blast your belly button while shitting in a cracked bucket outside your trailerpark home

[u/C-57D → u/SS3599]

Specific

[u/HospitalDue8100 → u/SS3599]

fantastic

[u/youngthugsmom → u/SS3599]

That’s where all the leftover Cheetos end up

[u/bigred2342 → u/youngthugsmom]

OP Never had any leftover Cheetos

[u/Nonetoobrightatall → u/SS3599]

Trailer park home under an overpass

[u/SaltySculpts → u/SS3599]

Holding a tub of mayo and using it as lube

[u/Naderr]

You look like you try to buy weed from your step-kids

[u/Overt_Propaganda → u/Naderr]

And they turn him down.

[u/Book-Faramir-Better → u/Naderr]

Bold of you to assume he has step-kids.

[u/Woodworking33]

Smelly roll

[u/Dantronik → u/Woodworking33]

Belly Troll

[u/Cuchulain40 → u/Dantronik]

Smoky roll

[u/Lanky_Novel_3960 → u/Woodworking33]

Saint Smelly Belly Pothead

Protector of dwarfs trolls metheads, near dowels and Downies

[u/JDuvall021 → u/Woodworking33]

Be nice! Jelly Roll is a good dude.

[u/Dapper-Ad-468 → u/JDuvall021]

This is a roast, not a toast.

[u/MachineGunsWhiskey]

This picture is a more effective anti-weed ad than anything put out in the Reagan era.

[u/Rynowash → u/MachineGunsWhiskey]

🤣🤣

[u/OneMinuteManny]

Are...are we allowed to roast a Downie?

[u/BurdenedCrayon → u/OneMinuteManny]

He can't read it's fine

[u/igillyg → u/BurdenedCrayon]

Weirdly enough the weed makes him more coherent

[u/Ok-Zone-5603 → u/OneMinuteManny]

This shit is crazy lol

[u/ImpressivePurchase44]

Nothing says incel quite like fat stoner with a greasy beard

[u/Woodworking33]

Gets no-action Bronson

[u/MisterBurnsSucks]

You look like you collect jars of your own drool... 😒

[u/purplepepperpirate → u/MisterBurnsSucks]

Urine. Each hue tells a different story.

[u/Calm_Profile273 → u/MisterBurnsSucks]

Seminal fluids

[u/RedneckCrckhead69 → u/MisterBurnsSucks]

Ear wax

[u/Sad-Pin-6491 → u/MisterBurnsSucks]

Smegma

[u/JDuvall021]

Holy shit, this could be me if I don't get my shit together. I'm never smoking ever again!!

[u/C-57D → u/JDuvall021]

Reddit Madness, works every time.

[u/whofarting]

Cool hat. They sell those at the gas station you work at?

[u/FrontWalk2352]

Women watch you after they shower so they can dry off their vagina

[u/derrburgers]

bro looks like he met 1 celebrity in '83 and still tells people about it.

[u/Flimsy_Lavishness887]

he probably pisses Bong Water

[u/JarboeV]

Cypress Hillbilly

[u/Sufficient-Sun4068 → u/JarboeV]

😂

[u/alwaysfatigued8787]

Do you always have that stupid grin on your face or can you actually close your mouth when you're not stuffing it with Pepperidge Farm cookies?

[u/Scorpiobehr → u/alwaysfatigued8787]

Yet another slack jaw stoner hobo with no teeth.. probably only 29 or so but looks like he is 70

[u/DrMackDDS2014 → u/alwaysfatigued8787]

So kind of you to assume he can afford Pepperidge Farm cookies.

[u/goodoldjefe]

Oh shit! You smoke weed, dude? Fuuuuck. That's cool.

[u/-Sgt-Slaughter-]

Saw this guy enthusiastically cheering at a WWE event....

[u/Thumpr113 → u/-Sgt-Slaughter-]

“It’s still real to me!”

[u/Dantronik]

Here we go, another fat fuck pothead with a beard. Im sure your parents are proud.

[u/-Tencentpistol → u/Dantronik]

C'mon, he doesn't know who his parents are. And they like it that way

[u/stackedorderssuck]

[u/Present-Mirror-7669]

Homie with another chromie.

[u/sleepyjack2]

better hide that weed hat before your mom checks on you in your "apartment"

[u/numbskullerykiller]

When conformity meets fat and lazy. Not enough Corn Hole bags in this world for you beer tumbler. Your beard is your only achievement but even that looks like a Witch's bush.

[u/Safe_Writer_7579]

Unemployed and uneducated looking ass

[u/Dantronik]

[u/Elegant_Volume_2871]

Kid Rock sure aged badly, if that's possible.

[u/Old-Investment7808]

Belly Fold

[u/spacedogchasing]

I can tell that your stories are long and boring.

[u/Zestyclose-Middle717]

Grown ass man with a weed flower flat bill, can’t get any more roasted than that my guy

[u/Hirtahipster]

Weaponized autism

[u/Icy_Ice9312]

Genetics has taken care of this one, Darwinism will win.

[u/Flaky-You9517]

I wouldn’t let you run a bath!

[u/IrishGumby → u/Flaky-You9517]

you lost him at run TBH

[u/Flaky-You9517 → u/IrishGumby]

Doesn’t know anything about TBC but could bore the hind leg off a donkey about THC

[u/SabreLee61 → u/Flaky-You9517]

He doesn’t know how anyway

[u/Flaky-You9517 → u/SabreLee61]

The age old debate… can’t bath, won’t bath?

[u/Berencam]

roast or bake?

[u/amarilo567]

You look like you could get stuck in a doorway running to get snacks.

[u/Trumpy4Ever]

Why do people do this to themselves?

[u/GuyBannister1]

here's the "personality hire" who everyone finds irritating

[u/clandestine-chemist]

Ew, I can smell your beard. 🤮

[u/Adelineandred → u/clandestine-chemist]

Ewww..now I can't unhear this comment

[u/allthesmokeugot]

You still think smoking weed makes you cool, but it only made you double your body weight.

[u/Special-Book-7]

your neighbors know your smoking schedule

[u/TheS1nnerInMe]

When you can’t find a single decent picture of yourself 🐷

[u/Impossible_Hyena7562]

Your parents should be ashamed of themselves for dressing a special needs child like this. Fucking sickening

[u/Fluid-Remote1649]

You look like you make grilled cheeses at night

[u/Sufficient-Sun4068 → u/Fluid-Remote1649]

Then a huge bowl of cereal afterwards

[u/Darth_Stroyer_]

I bet you get high and go to Hometown Buffet and fuck some shit up

[u/LuvAbalone5461]

Are you a dealer if you only sell weed to your family?

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[u/PlanktonSmooth3215]

Drives a clapped out f-250 that’s ’been deleted’ and ‘rolls coal.’ Cornhole enthusiast. Busch Ice tall boys get him started.

[u/andnothinghurt1910]

You look like an early 90s WWF jobber.

[u/markedpirate]

No-Action Bronson

[u/Plaid_Clad_Gardener]

You are already roasted, look at those eyes. This is the poster child for burnout stoner.

[u/_yoe]

Roast? You are already burnt.

[u/xoxo6942069xoxo]

Inaction Bronson

[u/Electrical-Front-515]

Looks like cupcakes and early onset diabetes have already done their worst.

Hard to compete against that.

[u/Sure_Paramedic_7046]

Blames the lack of motivation, excessive weight gain and low IQ on the weed.

[u/KingJeremytheWickedC]

Meet Jelly Biscuit

[u/Tricky_Antelope_2810]

You already did the worst for us by uploading this picture.

[u/LLcoolerJ77]

Shein version of Jellyroll

[u/fish1960]

No roast here! All good my man!

[u/george-w_kush]

Jelly PreRoll

[u/Fist4achin]

Schmuck Dynasty

[u/Successful-Throat986]

Dudley Dowrong

[u/toyo4x4x2]

I would but you look pretty roasted already tbh.

[u/According-Town7588]

Jelly Roll got his tats removed?

[u/killingmemesoftly]

Bros got not teeth.

Bet he gives fantastic gummers

[u/MisterSneakSneak]

No need for me to roast. You waking up and looking yourself in a mirror is all the cooking you need.

[u/Realmofchaos333]

Haha you look to chill to roast dude! 🤣

[u/DOA-Hats]

That’s not a picture bro got so high he started lagging

[u/PrinceVince1988]

Dude, you are roasted 24/7… your lungs must be dripping tar every time you make a cough 🚬🚬🚬

[u/IsawLenin]

You look like a propaganda poster against marijuana legalization.

[u/Negativ3zerox]

Can’t roast someone who fried all their brain cells

[u/Bagoflays22]

Did you not go to school cause you got high?

[u/Westbound_Ships]

Let me put your mind at ease, Tater. People don’t hate you, they just have a better time when you’re not around.

[u/Left-Jello7029]

Seth Rogan laugh

[u/jospeh68]

[u/[deleted]]

You don’t need a roast, you need a salad.

[u/clydetorkleschicken]

Burt Kreischer’s special needs little brother.

[u/TehSeksyManz]

A plant is your entire identity

[u/Sirwilliam63]

I bet that beard smells like bong water that Whoopi Goldberg used for a douche.

[u/Concordmang]

Why you cross eyed? The donkey back kick you in the head too many times??

[u/Serious-Lobster-5450]

Fresh out of a lobotomy!

[u/lizzadpeople]

? Look like a cool azz stoner to me…..

[u/LicketySquitz]

Ur kids don't talk to u anymore.

[u/deadgraveyaredflow3r]

You look like you stand outside of a special needs karate class and try to learn the moves.

[u/Boring_Somewhere1279]

He rolls it in girl’s panties n smokes it

[u/let-it-rain-sunshine]

Not just a pothead, a porta potty head

[u/Kayotik74]

You look like the reason why weed is still illegal in some states.

[u/darthjazzhands]

Thanks for the reminder that I need to clean my toilet

[u/predat3d]

Pot belly

[u/caughtin4kd]

Its one thing to wear a flat brimmed hat above the age of 30. Now it being a weed hat? Just wow.

[u/youngthugsmom]

Hey I’m over here pal

[u/XRP_Bytes]

You look like a guy who puts the 'high' in high hopes but still manages to forget what he was hoping for! Marijuana, Amen 🙏

[u/WhalleyKid]

Works in tattoo shop, no tattoos.

[u/[deleted]]

What decades of the munchies does to a mf

[u/mexchiwa]

I’d never seen a face that needed tats before…

[u/Aggravating-Let4536]

I dare u to take a shower

[u/New-Swan3276]

I remember when blunt leaf hats were so popular……. in 1994.

[u/biggusdick-us]

grow up take the silly hat off ,, ohh i smoke a spliff said the stoner to the cop

[u/Dantronik]

I bet your mom still does your laundry

[u/Dantronik]

Only thing lazier than you is your left eye

[u/GuidanceFrosty2955]

Greatest accomplishment: Middle School kids think I'm cool

[u/ChadVonDoom]

Temu Cypress Hill lookin ass

[u/Reasonable-Point-766]

I could smell you through my screen.

[u/bikingbill]

Time to get out of your mom’s basement and get a job dude.

[u/DrBunsonHoneyPoo]

Seems like you’re already roasted.

[u/VaWeedFarmer]

I've got no issue with you!

[u/AgentOk4310]

I cant put down the cup, i cant put down the cup..

[u/No-Slice-8438]

You look like you drink bong water for an extra buzz

[u/Lazy_Helicopter6735]

Too late, God already did

[u/Fugetabout-it]

I would roast you but you already looked roasted 😝

[u/AverageGuyKW]

You look pretty roasted already

[u/LikeWhatGuyComeOn]

I'm just curious about that fucked up "painting" you're posing in front of trying to convince us you aren't broke trailer-trash?

[u/Faux59]

Roast you? You're already cooked

[u/Express_Area_8359]

You look like your burnt tha candle both ends n r still trying to light the joint!

[u/Neat-Ad7473]

Dum dum want gum gum.

[u/hevy_smoker]

I already had turkey

[u/Drybeatfur]

You look faded, that’s the good part tho. You look like a bro who claims high tolerance, and people believe you because of your weight, and then you green out on one blunt

[u/Elegant_Cricket_2977]

"Hu Hu, I'm a veteran and the guvment used me to fight wars and make bankers rich. I figured it out...yeah...Send me back in. Hoo yah!"

[u/6L6aglow]

Too many bong water enemas.

[u/arsnhz]

i’m a stoner too, but if i saw you irl i’d just turn the other way

[u/realkandyman]

Look what weed did to people even as a gateway drug!

[u/maxxmom123]

Does your whole personality have to be a weed? We get it you smoke.

[u/Kyle_Rittenhouse_69]

The uncle they never spoke about in the Duke's of Hazzard

[u/Suspicious-Table936]

That lead singer of the bad wolves but white instead of Samoan

[u/roastedtvs]

God already did.

[u/Still_Conference1932]

Your parents never loved you.

[u/firefighterphi]

Trying to roast a burnout... I bet you smell like you bathe in bong water

[u/Beneficial_Being3286]

Look like you get the munchies after smoking and wipe your Lays potato chip greasy fingers on your shirt and beard

[u/Early_Law_5703]

Jeezus your pinky finger is longer than your other fingers…… wtf!

[u/No-Professional-7518]

You can't remember where the last 30 years have gone and what you've achieved with your life!

[u/redditpest]

With your blank stare it doesn't matter what I write, you're not going to be able to understand it anyway.