Go as hard as possible. Get personal, I don't care. (Or maybe I will if you guys really hit the spot, who knows). I made it easy for y'all.

389

u/[deleted] 3d ago

Your mom couldn’t make it 9 months without a drink

266

u/TightropeTimmy 3d ago

Freddy Mercury Poisoning

303

u/Cool_Dark_Place 3d ago

You look like the Pedro nobody voted for!

194

u/Invader_Gir_1 3d ago

We didn't need 18 photos to show that you are a loser. Only one would have done it.

98

u/grxclausen8591 3d ago

Virgin by choice? Yeah, the choice of all women that you tried to bang.

70

u/Mother_Task_2708 3d ago

You are proof that the gene pool needs lifeguards on duty at all times.

125

u/TypicalEmu7824 3d ago

You look like you lost all your money in the genetic lottery.

54

u/elquatrogrande 3d ago

Your mom still regrets not being able to find at least one clothes hanger in the favelas.

38

u/Attack_Toster 3d ago

Mexican Steve-O

39

u/warcollect 3d ago

The other cholos won’t let him pull his socks up.

36

u/JayneHeroOfCanton 3d ago

You look like you drunk text your Mom.

34

u/_BOOMGOTTEM 3d ago

22

u/alainaG59 3d ago

You look like the giraffe from Madagascar

41

u/thedeuce75 3d ago

Whoa, look at Tony Pepperoni Nips over here.

38

u/starktargaryen75 3d ago

Everybody Loves Gaymond

18

u/fu_man_cthulhu 3d ago

Was your nipple alignment drawn by AI?

16

u/TehSeksyManz 3d ago

Your parents need to be held accountable for their crimes against humanity

12

u/FrontWalk2352 3d ago

Your teeth in the first pic looks like they want to jump out and attack somebody

10

u/Present_Trade_4075 3d ago

‘Ol shark teeth/ Unibrow havin ass!

10

u/Mundane-Bad3996 3d ago

The face of someone who was breastfed until they were 10

9

u/TheRonsinkable 3d ago

Enrique Incestias

7

u/IllustriousMoney4490 3d ago

File this one under posts we will no longer see from American soil come January 20th

7

u/Open-Cream2823 3d ago

You didn't make it easy for us to roast you, God did

7

u/TheOmCollector 3d ago

When the moon is full you turn into a poodle.

6

u/CROWANJ 3d ago

steve-o + richard ramirez

5

u/Insider551 3d ago

All of your pictures look like the warning signs that someone is about to commit a murder.

5

u/BiglyAmbitious 3d ago

You skin potatoes with your teeth. Professional shredder jack.

6

u/MuskokaGreenThumb 3d ago

You look like Ian Miles Cheongs autistic cousin

5

u/wolfpack_718 3d ago

His Mom used him as a bottle opener till she cleaned enough homes to buy a proper one.

8

u/BeenhereONCEb4 3d ago

Only way to get attention is by coming to reddit?

Wow, your life is pathetic.

8

u/Thick_Constant8475 3d ago

Teeth only get like that from sucking dick all your life

4

u/99problemsIDaint1 3d ago

4

u/MisterBurnsSucks 3d ago

You look like you have a Tier 3 sub to all the Twitch hot tub streamers 😐

4

u/TeeAyeKay 3d ago

How can we possibly get personal? We don't know you. You're dopey.

4

u/No_Inside6995 3d ago

3

u/SatisfactionSmart681 3d ago edited 3d ago

An Mexican gangster who dropped out of the gang for dropping the soap

4

u/Godleastfavourite 3d ago

We have a saying here in france “On dirait que tes dents cherchent à s’évader de ta bouche.“ which loosely translates to often the most handsome men do not know it and i think this applies to you brother, enjoy your day🫶

4

u/Terrible-Category218 3d ago

I think you would do well in a waluigi lookalike contest.

5

u/Skin_Floutist 3d ago

What’s your gang name? Lil loco?

5

u/WhiskynCigar72 3d ago

Even your nipples are crosseyed

6

u/Emeegee713 3d ago

Freddy Mercury’s even gayer brother

6

u/Chaikovskii 3d ago

Your expression screams ‘self-help book junkie who highlights passages but never follows through,’ and that faint mustache? It’s like your face gave up halfway through puberty. Your INFJ energy is practically leaking through the screen, like a tortured soul pretending to enjoy solitude while secretly Googling ‘how to make people like me.’ Virgin by choice? Sure, buddy. That’s like saying you’re staying sober because water tastes better than beer. Keep convincing yourself—maybe someday you’ll actually believe it.

5

u/swissmtndog398 3d ago

Ah, the infamous cum dumpster of San Quentin prison.

3

u/tautjes 3d ago

his scrawny body would break in two if he would cough

3

u/yellowking38 3d ago

You’re a dentists dream

3

u/Robinnoodle 3d ago

They tried to breed Gomez Addams with Dracula and this unfortunate creature is the result

3

u/Old-Introduction-373 3d ago

Maybe next time you take a pic, take out the Halloween teeth?

3

u/[deleted] 3d ago

If you ever need a hair transplant you’ve got plenty of donor area with those eye brows 😉

3

u/Resident-Lie-9644 3d ago

Young Count Chocula

3

u/mitch515000 3d ago

You have a hair lip

3

u/CarlosAVP 3d ago

OP has touched more dicks than a urologist with OCD.

3

u/TrumpsColostomyBag99 3d ago

So this is what happened 9 months after Fredo Corleone banged cocktail waitresses two at a time as described by Mo Greene…

3

u/Competitive_Smell742 3d ago

You look like if Steve-0 had a kid with someone he met while in Tijuana and then completely forgot he was ever in Tijuana

3

u/Crafty_Nebula_1458 3d ago

sorry I'm not voting for Pedro

3

u/onetmat70 3d ago

You’re the result when people order an MS13 hitman from Temu

3

u/Solid_Extension3753 3d ago

I didn’t realize they let prisoners post from Guantanamo. USA getting soft.

3

u/candybar_razorblade 3d ago

Im sorry for you that they didn't make a sequel to Napoleon Dynamite.

3

u/The_Chessboard 3d ago

You look like you have a scam call center for crackheads

3

u/finest_kind77 3d ago

Was #4 taken from a predator drone?

3

u/Sunshine_Unit 3d ago

You look like you could be the child of Wednesday and Gomez Addams.

3

u/90_ina_65 3d ago

When you order "Luigi" from Wish.com

3

u/adelinelarue 3d ago

you are the most brazilian looking brazilian ever if you are not brazilian i will end things

3

u/LeKevinsRevenge 3d ago

Steve O and Pedro had a baby and named him Zero

3

u/AggieJared14 3d ago

Save some “God I wish I Would die” for the rest of us.

3

u/Desperate-Opinion760 3d ago

Your whistles must sound like foghorns with those teeth

3

u/SpecialistDrawing877 3d ago

Your teeth look like the cow catcher on a locomotive.

Does Union Pacific know you have those?

3

u/Murashi 3d ago

“Wallydraigle” is a Scottish noun that means a feeble, poorly developed, or slovenly creature. It can also refer to a feeble, dwarfed animal or person, or the youngest member of a family. The word was first used around 1513.

3

u/ProThoughtDesign 3d ago

Why does your nipple look like it got lonely and it's headed to visit the other one? Repost in a year so we can see if it made it.

3

u/Gearz557 3d ago

Nostrils looking pretty fuckable ngl

3

u/Oldgatorwrestler 3d ago

So this is what happens when an Arab dude and a Mexican dude have a baby.

Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.

2

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2

u/Suspicious-Table936 3d ago

Vote for Pedro

2

u/Robinnoodle 3d ago

Mortimer Sloth (IYKYK)

2

u/OkMobile5574 3d ago

Looks like youve been past around the entire cell block, bitch

2

u/Nice_Expression3610 3d ago

I’ve never seen a background character in real life. You’re so inconsequential and anonymous.

2

u/vitoforever99 3d ago

He’s got summer teeth. Summer ova here, sunmer are ova there

2

u/Smart_Piece_9832 3d ago

You wear an ankle monitor, can’t be near schools, your former husbands, and most US Marshals just want to shoot you. Trump will deport your remains.

2

u/rao_wcgw 3d ago

This is a methed up situation

2

u/TimShady0704 3d ago

Why does it seem like one nipple is too far towards the middle and the other is too far out?

2

u/saxxyy1 http://redd.it/urrg3m 3d ago

Mano, forçou a barra.

2

u/Evening_Bench_7006 3d ago

Dude scared the shit out of me thought you had a third nipple but you just have the chest of an eight year old!

2

u/[deleted] 3d ago

Will definitely hold one in his mouth until the swelling goes down...

2

u/HaroldTheUndertaker 3d ago

You look like somebody told you to open your mouth, put your teeth on a brick, and let them beat the back of your head with a sledgehammer on the brick.

2

u/[deleted] 3d ago

You 1000% look like somebody that wants guys to “really hit the spot”.

2

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Whoopeestick_23 3d ago

You look like your dream job was to be a fluffer on gay porn sets, but since genetics gave you a mouth like Seabiscuit, your toothy bjs kept making guys soft.

2

u/IaMuRGOd34 3d ago

if disaster ever was person you be it

2

u/No_Worse_For_Wear 3d ago

Go as hard as possible?

We’re Redditors, not your cell mate.

2

u/DerekTheComedian 3d ago

Your gene pool is infested with mosquitos.

"Slumdog hundred-aire".

Never seen someone more deserving of a shame kink.

2

u/gonnagetcancelled 3d ago

Your post title is also what you tell your perverted uncle isn't it?

2

u/ValkyrieSpecial 3d ago

It'sa Waluigi Wankinlonely

2

u/emitdrol 3d ago

Making it past the wall is only half the battle…

2

u/SS3599 3d ago

You creepy fuck

2

u/Funny_looking_ 3d ago

Your upper teeth has been in a brutal war with your bottom teeth for years and the top is losing men everyday

2

u/ch3apsunglass3s 3d ago

Your hair looks like a Wooly Willy game

2

u/vamparious_wolf 3d ago

You could use your 4th picture for unsolved mysteries

2

u/_SirLoinofBeef 3d ago

The only pussy you have touched was around your neck when you were born

2

u/Swimming_Pen_9672 3d ago

How did u sneak a phone into Guantanamo Bay?

2

u/NemeanMiniLion 3d ago

Hey, it's the body double that played Glen on the Walking Dead AFTER the headshot from Lucile.

2

u/Daeggscellent 3d ago

The 17th photo is the only photo not photoshopped

2

u/robbzilla 3d ago

You look like an even more of a bitch version of Namor than Huerta. I didn't think that was possible.

2

u/Different-Control-61 3d ago

You look like a valet. And you steal people's change when you park the cars.

2

u/KeystoneBrad 3d ago

He needed a spotter to lift that notebook.

2

u/Ecstatic_Sea_2811 3d ago

Look at that mouthful of oyster crackers

2

u/dankleo 3d ago

One of your nipples is trying to escape

2

u/Rasturac88 3d ago

That first pic looks like random NPC from some 2000's game.

2

u/imacabooseman 3d ago

Edward James Almost

2

u/pocket4spaghetti 3d ago

Casey Affleck in "The Migrant Worker"

2

u/kbeckerburbs4 3d ago

Your face looks like it was made using leftover parts from El Senor Cara de Patata

2

u/Helpful_Tea_6951 3d ago

It's "kick rocks " not chew them...

2

u/lizzadpeople 3d ago

This guy must eat bricks for breakfast…

2

u/firefighterphi 3d ago

You 1000% have a recurring problem with your rectum you visit your doctor for weekly to make him put his finger in to find that spot.

2

u/emblematic_camino 3d ago

Watch your drinks ladies !

2

u/lizzadpeople 3d ago

Eyebrows coming together like AL B. Sure

2

u/lizzadpeople 3d ago

Go put your headgear on & lithin to your Brittny Spearths tape

2

u/Future_Parsley740 3d ago

"Go hard as possible " what you tell all the men in the club, besides what guys shit above your eyes bro? I don't know why your smiling, your face is going to be buried in the bed or in someone's ass

2

u/lizzadpeople 3d ago

When you get into a fight with those crooked eyes, I bet you gotta hit the one in the middle

2

u/Opposite-Suspect-253 3d ago

You werent cast as freddy mercury cause he could sing and had better teeth

Orthodontic rhapsody is a dental school presentation not a bohemian rhapsody

2

u/Robcomain 3d ago

Hey Lalo

2

u/therapythese00 3d ago

You look like the test dummy the cartels use to try their fentanyl mixture

2

u/dgoode520 3d ago

Borat’s illegitimate son

2

u/Glittering_Lion_7679 3d ago

Was your caption also written above the door of your jail cell?

2

u/Ethical_Billionaire 3d ago

His type of guy.

2

u/Arse_Kickerson 3d ago

Why is one of your nipples in the middle of your chest?

2

u/manajerr 3d ago

You look like the terrorist version of steve-o from jackass

2

u/i_might_be_an_ai 3d ago

It’s not the first time he’s asked someone to “go as hard as possible” on him…

2

u/Informal_Stress_9953 3d ago

Your last job interview consisted of being one of the first twenty two guys to reach the pickup truck in the Home Depot parking lot…

2

u/Reckless_Pixel 3d ago

You look like a bootleg Alien Ant Farm album in a bodega

2

u/Itchy_Inflation_3797 3d ago

You pronounce roasted with a W. Roasted!

2

u/Gloomy_Duck_903 3d ago

Your kinda cute in the wet rat sort of way

2

u/predat3d 3d ago

Canteenflask

2

u/TarzanGunn 3d ago

Hey Bollywood Casey Affleck …. please end Manchester By The Sea so we can keep scrolling

2

u/Book-Faramir-Better 3d ago

Damn! I haven't seen teeth like that since they interviewed Joe Exotic's husband on Tiger King. You look like the syphilitic love child of Steve Buscemi and the Whitaker Family. And those eyebrows could keep cars in their lane on the freeway!

2

u/AwwYeahVTECKickedIn 3d ago

You have a left nipple and a middle nipple.. do you have a right nipple?

2

u/Bibfor_tuna 3d ago

you look like a chihuahua-man.

2

u/HouZ71 3d ago

Thank you for the self esteem boost

2

u/SANSHUINUcrypto 3d ago

2

u/legacy_nutrition 3d ago

Your left eye looks like your right eye, and your right eye looks like your left eye.

2

u/Expensive-Sea462 3d ago

You look like the weak link in a TV show about a drug cartel.

Your the one who was hung from a bridge in Juarez because you poured your heart out to a hooker when she took your virginity at 32.

2

u/dylank2209 http://redd.it/em2r9h 3d ago

Mexican N3ON

2

u/Lower_Kitchen822 3d ago

Damn!! I didn’t know being mixed could result in the worst of both…

2

u/codemonkeyhopeful 3d ago

That's a chol-no

2

u/Impossible_Crew6446 3d ago

Didn't you take over an apartment complex somewhere ?

2

u/unusual_math 3d ago

You look just like Freddie Mercury in May of 1992.

2

u/The_Chessboard 3d ago

Is no one gonna establish that this dude said, "Go as hard as possible" with the first couple photos is with his shirt off

2

u/MaintenanceFormal960 3d ago

The more you scroll left the more he comes a cs student

2

u/Shotsgood 3d ago

Hose-B

2

u/Slimeythief 3d ago

Your artistic, hide your wives hide your kids

2

u/rvbvrtv 3d ago

I can’t roast you bro, just good luck in life holy fuck

2

u/No_Equal_1312 3d ago

If diarrhea had a face this would be it.

2

u/ForThePeopleManual 3d ago

What nightclub are you targeting?

2

u/SmoothLikeSalsa 3d ago

You should smile more…oh wait, you shouldn’t

2

u/LeatherEgg5505 3d ago

He said the exact same thing to his last cell mates. "Go as hard as possible, I don't care. Or maybe I will if you guys really hit the spot"

2

u/spacedogchasing 3d ago

Your mom used to work in the circus catching cannonballs with her pregnant stomach.

2

u/srboot 3d ago

If only you would have posed ONE more photo.

2

u/RADICCHI0 3d ago

Who are you looking at, exactly?

2

u/Adept-Lettuce948 3d ago

Why so many pictures of the same ugly mofo?

2

u/1to1dailo 3d ago

One eye looks like it’s collecting unemployment, while the other is collecting disability.

2

u/Usedtobeproductive 3d ago

If I could order a terrorist from wish,you’d show up

2

u/Remarkable-Music1866 3d ago

Looks like you have a mouth full of broken dishes - yellow dishes at that