r/LeopardsAteMyFace 1d ago

Elon takes his big red ball and goes home…Loomer loses check.

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u/abbyabsinthe 1d ago edited 11h ago

He's a rich kid who never grew up. He's a 12 year edgelord in a 50 year old man's flabby body, and he has enough money to do literally whatever the hell he wants, unchecked, and he has an army of Dunning-Kreuger victim frat boys who suck him off every time he speaks. He has no moral compass, and doesn't really have any one to tether him back to Earth (dunno if sociopath or brain damaged from drugs, or just rotten from being filthy rich). He wants to be the most powerful man in the world, and instead of using that money to achieve good, he'd rather do shit just for the sake of doing shit.

I just hope he over measures the amount of ketamine he's taking and soon.

Edit: I made a typo in the midst of calling others stupid. I hang my head in shame.

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u/FUMFVR 1d ago

This fucker grew up in an environment that most far right American white supremacists can only dream about. It's one of the reasons they love him so much.

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u/Mr_Conductor_USA 1d ago

Fucking their stepdaughters?

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u/donach69 1d ago

That too

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u/shadowpawn 1d ago

those emerald mines dont strip mine themselves.

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u/pagodapagoda 1d ago

Unfortunately it's damn near impossible to overdose on ketamine (unless you're mixing drugs). We're stuck with him for a long time.

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u/jlwinter90 1d ago

Come on now, chin up. He's flabby and lazy, no shot that's a healthy gym bro. Guy might have a coronary or something, we might be lucky yet. Gotta hold onto hope.

That said, he's got good health care, so. Yeah. Probably stuck with him.

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u/VoiceofRapture 1d ago

His default combat move is something he literally calls the walrus, where he flops on them and pins them with his flab

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u/Thess514 1d ago

Well, he's obviously best suited to throwing his weight around in all senses of the term.

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u/GenericWhyteMale 1d ago

…is that what having sex with him is like?

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u/Prompt-Initial 1d ago

I've always imagined his eventual demise will involve some critical malfunction while inside one of his rockets. That, or getting accidentally locked inside his own nuclear bunker and starving to death. 🤔

Billionaires do love their rockets and doomsday scenarios.

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u/splashist 1d ago

you can however utterly lose your boundaries and spill massively.

Go Elon go, limits are for poor people, just hit the gas all the way!!

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u/WutUtalkingBoutWill 1d ago

Yeah he's no Zuckerberg, cunt got rich and is actively making him self stronger and healthier

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u/Keated 1d ago

We could get someone to take one for the team and do something more dangerous with him. Given he's basically an edgy teen all you'd need to do is imply he's a puss if he doesn't amd he'd feel the need to do double

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u/VoiceofRapture 1d ago

I think he's going to end up ODing on tusi before too long

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u/JoshSidekick 1d ago

Maybe someone can introduce him to how awesome hot tubs are.

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u/abbyabsinthe 1d ago

Yoooo….. that’s just what I was thinking. RIP Mathew Perry.

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u/HeyHaveSomeStuff 1d ago

It would be sweet if it were tesla autopilot that took him out.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/abbyabsinthe 1d ago

All the money in the world doesn’t protect you from aneurisms, aggressive cancers, or spontaneous organ rupture. Or plane crashes.

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u/BaconCheeseZombie 1d ago

Or lead travelling at 460 m s-1

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u/pizzastank 1d ago

People like him have a nasty habit of living long past their expiration date.

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u/Sea-Breaz 1d ago

Never have I seen a more accurate description. And I concur with the whole Ketamine thing.

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u/Enough_Affect_9916 1d ago

He hit midlife and his mortal coil made him grumpy.

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u/kichien 1d ago

That was an excellent use of words.

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u/HereForTheBoos1013 1d ago

He offered Wikipedia a billion dollars to change their name to Dickopedia.

This is the man that's been tasked with government efficiency and slashing budgets and he wanted to drop a life changing amount of money on a dick joke.

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u/HighHokie 1d ago

Whoa, are we talking about Elon or Trump? 

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u/Toonces311 1d ago

Is the movie "the toy" before flick learns his lesson.

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u/Spiritual_Group7451 1d ago

That’s my dream every night is that the ketamine works ha ha