r/Frugal • u/Salt__lick • 18h ago
How can I make my boyfriends birthday special for him when I have no money to spend? ⛹️ Hobbies
Edit: y’all, we don’t have a boring sex life so a birthday BJ or being xtra naughty is just another night of the week. Unless you have specific ideas for something extra special 💁🏻♀️
His birthday is tomorrow and we both know we have zero spending money so I know he won’t be disappointed without a gift. But I’d like ideas to make the day special for someone who hasn’t celebrated a birthday in a while. Thank you!!
I’m already planning for a cake, I thought about a “spa night” at home for him w a massage and all that , but is that too girly? Also what are the opinions on naughty coupon book? Is that wayyyy too cliche and dumb?
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u/redred_xiii 18h ago
I once gifted my girlfriend a Spotify list with all the songs we had listened to together or were obsessed with since we met. It's in chronological order and until this day (this was almost 8 years ago) we keep adding songs.
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u/graincloudss 8h ago
this is sweet! like a more modern, two-way modifiable version of the mixtape back in the day
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u/EmbarrassedFig8860 8h ago
My husband did this for me and it was the most thoughtful thing I’ve ever received. He described why it was sentimental to him and I cried my eyes out.
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u/yourlilmeowy 18h ago
Write all the things you love about him on sticky notes and post them in different spots around the house by things he uses
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u/ComfortableMotor9397 18h ago
decorate the house. make his special food. show that you have put in a lot of effort.. he will be satisfied and feel special.
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u/spaceyjules 18h ago
Maybe cliche, but how about an envelope full of "personal coupons". Stuff like "good for one hug," "we watch your show tonight," "one home-cooked meal even though it's your turn," "one massage" etc.?
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u/Salt__lick 18h ago
Okay I feel better seeing this reply as a coupon book type thing was an idea a fun mix of naughty and stress relief stuff and maybe for some of his fav meals?
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u/uhgletmepost 11h ago
REALLY depends on the person that can actually be viewed as pretty demeaning or insulting to some.
I'd personally never do it as it turns sex or cuddle time into this weird exchange of labor/gift.
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u/unlovelyladybartleby 18h ago
Every guy is obsessed with a movie that makes his partner want to stick a fork in their eye. Give him the gift of watching LOTR or Bill and Ted or whatever his thing is in its entirety. Promise you won't scroll your phone, run out of the room to make calls, or bustle around doing chores. It's the greatest gift you can give, lol
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u/Puzzlehead-Bed-333 18h ago
Break out the romance. Candlelit wine, dinner, dessert, write (or find) a loving poem to read, oiled up full body massage, the complete pampering experience.
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u/roy-the-rocket 18h ago
What does he do when having time without you? Assuming he is a gamer, ask him to play his game and teach it to you for some hours. If you already know the game, well some preparation into how not to play the game - meaning being a bit smart about what actually matters - could arouse him mentally.
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u/Salt__lick 18h ago
I like this idea. He enjoys when I watch him play and I don’t do it enough either.
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u/roy-the-rocket 18h ago
I bet what makes him enjoy it is genuine interest in his world. It is not obvious and also hard to demonstrate, but many games (not all) have substantial depth to it.
If you like engineering and puzzling: If his game isn't Factorio, ask him to build a base with you and plan some quality evenings ahead, you will need some time. If his game is Factorio, ask him to launch a rocket with you :) ... engage
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u/QJH333 18h ago
This is so cute! I would think about a picnic 🧺 or another free outdoor activity. A massage is always nice too… I feel like the answer is a free experience or activity that you plan. Not an object that you give him. That’s what I would do! And maybe just explain that you are doing something “alternative” due to your lack of cash at this time!
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u/LeonStrada 17h ago
It sounds to me, that a massage, a meal he likes ( can be pizza ) and spending the evening doing what you two enjoy doing together would make for EXCELLENT birthday! As long as the cake is good that is.😉
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u/Mr_Gaslight 17h ago
Just spend time with him. Watch his favourite film. Make his favourite meal.
It doesn't have to be fancy.
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u/emeraldead 18h ago
Planning ahead is always the best way to be frugal. Many many museums and gardens and libraries have lovely events free but only certain times of the month. Libraries also often offer free passes to a lot of places if you reserve ahead.
Also knowing their interests helps a lot. A lot of teppanyaki places have half price lunch deals.
Resort pass can have awesome spa deals if you're in a big city.
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u/Sagaincolours 18h ago
If you two like walking/hiking: Find a cool place of natural beauty that you haven't visited before. Walk there. Bring a picnic basket. Enjoy each other's company while eating your nice food.
A cake. If you can cook, a cake can be made really cheaply. Just a sponge cake or scones. And if money are really tight it can be your dinner for the day.
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u/EveningAutomatic3983 15h ago
A card, make one if you have to, and write a message and include their favorite treat. Best things I’ve given and received were heartfelt messages will a small token that shows the gifted knows the recipient
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u/Careful_Nature7606 18h ago
what kind of things does he like? what does he enjoy doing? and whats the weather like where you are?
some ideas: write him a letter or card, make him a playlist, (indoor) picnic, movie (marathon), make some coupons for things like making his favourite meal/a massage/doing a chore he hates for him, if the weather is nice go for a little adventure or go watch the sunset somewhere nice
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u/kulfon2000 18h ago
Spa thing sounds bad ass! Bubble, candles all that jazz. Throw in a massage, like a 20min massage! That would be great, really need one now, goddamn I need one now
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u/Temporary_Let_7632 18h ago
Anything or combination of things that show you care and put effort into this will be fine. Over the years my ex did and bought me things that weren’t to my taste but I enjoyed them as she put effort into them. Spending money, while a kind gesture, does very little to show effort or thought in my book for the most part
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u/whatwhyis-taken 18h ago
Do we have to say it?
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u/Most-Piccolo-302 14h ago
Whenever my wife asks what I want for any holiday I just say "the B's". (Beer, beef jerky, bj)
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u/Helpful-nothelpful 17h ago
Right. My answer is the same every year and it doesn't require shopping or money. Why do women try to overcomplicate it?
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u/TheDeadWriter 18h ago edited 18h ago
No cost other than time:
Back when I was skint, I used to just write something, and I still do.
Celebrate a birthday week! Every day celebrate something about them, sing to them, do something each day that makes the day a little more special.
Experiences are more important than objects.
Take them to a spot where the sunset will be amazing, top of a parking structure.
Get pass to a museum from a library and give him a note about the future gift.
Plan a day where you share your favorite spots in the city with him and bring along some food.
Does your city or town have a "first" day for the arts. Plan a night out to the performances, the galleries, etc...
Write a poem.
Share a memory by writing it down and giving it to him.
Make an origami flower or something out of some scrap paper, though this can be frustrating.
Type out and print a sheet of reasons he is awesome, cut them out and pin or tape them to spots on a walk that you two take in the evening.
Find a movie he likes on one of the free services or share one of your favorite movies with him.
For a small cost:
A little pricy, but walk through the local Farmers Market and perhaps buy him a treat for you both to share, a baguette while walking perhaps.
Look up, "Creative Reuse Store", if there is on in your local area, they have inexpensive second hand materials to use to craft things, cards etc... Almost all of them have art workshops that may not be too expensive. A night doing a craft with a love is a fun experience... Remind me, I think I am going to do that with my love this year.
Go to the library auxiliary book store, or a thrift store and buy him a book that looks interesting. Wrap it up any paper, perhaps the local arts section of what ever free news paper is in your area.
Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with but:
Explain that you are financially strapped, profess your love and ask what he wants to do? He may surprise you.
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u/anonymousforever 18h ago
Nothing is wrong about what you choose to do, if done with thoughtfulness and love.
Massages can be very intimate without the happy ending scenario. Nothing wrong with that idea.
If there's a game that'll be on that he will watch, make him a game day buffet with sandwich, soda, chips, and extra snack or two, and let him enjoy. Perfect time to go read or take a long hot bath yourself.
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u/BlackCatWoman6 16h ago
I think a spa night is a great idea. If it isn't something he would like, you could give him IOU's for different chores that are his to do. You take them once or twice.
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u/GladJack 14h ago
Non-sexual touch is huge. Rubbing his shoulders, playing with his hair, touching his face, rubbing his feet. It's nice to be touched and loved on, even romantically instead of sexually.
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u/FragrantDragon1933 9h ago
Handmade card, a hike to a beautiful view and a packed lunch to enjoy together at your view, and a great chance to take some cute photos
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u/Salt__lick 18h ago
I already plan to make him his favorite cake. But other than that I can only think of things I “wish” I could take him to do :/
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u/FlameBallz 18h ago
Get a jar, and put a bunch of notes of your favorite memories together, things you love about him, random thoughts you’ve had about him, things like that. Put a cute bow on it.
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u/Technical_Feedback74 17h ago
Jesus, you sound like the best girlfriend ever. I guess you haven’t been together that long.
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u/Salt__lick 17h ago
A little over a year, but his last birthday we were still long distance and hadn’t met in person yet. :) it’s been about 10 months in person.
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u/Pralines_and_Screams 15h ago
Get a box/jar and wrote down 365 things you love about him/memories/jokes/etc. Things that bring you joy and or will bring him joy. He can then pull one (or more!) out everyday for the next year. I have done this and it was really great.
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u/christinecorreia 13h ago
A surprise party with all his friends. Did that for my bf 5 years ago and he still talks about how happy it made him.
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u/compound_interest1 13h ago
Hei, parent of 3. so normally i don’t do anything in my birthday but staying home with my family and had dinner with my family, parents and sister. But last birthday I had to work, so she completely surprise me. She took my kids and went to my work (it’s in another city were we live) at lunch time and was amazing to receive them and have lunch with them and show them were I work. Then we have dinner in a restaurant like always (the baby stayed home with babysitter, but “have” to go home early and she went home almost at the end of the dinner. When I arrived it was there my closest friends and family with a Cake, some drinks and was amazing. You spend really little money with that, but for me was really a good day.
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u/NickofThymer 13h ago
Look online at your local library & see if they have passes to community events like museums, state parks, etc. and love letters are still treasures:)
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u/Material-Frosting496 12h ago
I know you say you don’t have money, but you can utilize the money you budget for food as a present too. You can say “hey you get to pick all the groceries and they can be the ingredients to their favorite meals and snacks” as an extra layer to whatever else you do
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u/Luck128 12h ago
Do something that he into such playing his game or watching his favorite team. Make an effort like for instance playing his game you know the terms and how to do stuff. Watching the sport team, know who’s who. It the fact that you’re doing something he into that you are not, the effort that makes it special. It is these time when you have nothing that means the most because it take a lot more effort than just taking him out for dinner or other nocturnal activities.
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u/Saltyeggpuff 12h ago
I would love a full body massage for my bday!! A good elbow to them tight knots feelings amazing.
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u/Darogaserik 11h ago
Cook a nice meal, watch a movie together, offer to massage with feet or back, let him lay his head in your lap and pet his hair. Nothing has to be extravagant. Just make him feel loved and appreciated.
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u/EmmyBirdie46 10h ago
I love the spa night idea! Men love being spoiled like that more than they admit…
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u/harriedhag 10h ago
Posting in your local subreddit will get you a lot of cool ideas. People ask about cheap/free date ideas in mine and I get to hear about all kinds of cool new things to do.
Have you heard of geocaching? You can pick out stamps together and set off on some to find.
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u/katikaboom 10h ago
Oh man, this isnt really enough time at this point, but I have a perfect idea for a mostly free gift! Contact the people who love him, and have them all write a little story or quote or something that reminds them of him. Print them all out and put them in a cheap (thrift stores are good for this) scrapbook next to photos of him and the person or something to remind him of the story. I've done variations of this a couple times, I've made 2 people tear up, and one of them was a 80 year 3 tour Vietnam vet, he didn't tear up easy.
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u/Sullivanthehedgehog 9h ago
A hit, that my boyfriend has kept in the console of his truck for 5+ years now, is a cheesy "52 things I love about you" and you write one reason on each card of a full deck, which you can usually get for a dollar or two. I just put them back in the box. I know his birthday is tomorrow, but maybe you could pull it off within a couple days?
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u/Verypaleyellow 9h ago
I’d probably go with your at home date idea! Nice homemade meal, homemade card, and dedicated 1:1 time where you’re actively engaged with each other
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u/Kindly_Concentrate12 7h ago
Things look cool at night when everything is quiet and that in itself is a gift that you could give him! Experiences are gifts too, not just physical things. If you live near some cool nature thing like a forest or an ocean, maybe you guys could go stargazing? Pack dinner and make a nest in the car with the heater on if it's cold!
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u/Yeah-NO_FORSURE 7h ago
Make his favorite meal pick out his favorite movie or show make box brownies (maybe throw sprinkles on them for the birthday brownie effect) get a candle from a friend so you don't buy them. Bust the mattress out into he frontroom for some "hamping"
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u/Independent-Math-213 6h ago
I write a letter about how I appreciate him in my life and how amazing he is
Always get the best present achievement
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u/fostermonster555 3h ago
How about doing all his fave things? So his fave movie or show, cook him his fave meal, talk about fave topics, board games, music, the sorts.
An “insert his name” day
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u/Elsie-pop 1h ago
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHXfxBJxOpLH5-umpGhYnqo6Atd7BJmr5&si=YX2NOoumx7auH0ey
This is a series of how to make super low cost dupes of fancy foods, I've not tried any yet but they look amazing
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u/Traditional_Fan_2655 18h ago edited 18h ago
Not too girly. Guys like to be pampered, too. At least mine always did.
It depends upon the guy. Some love deep tissue massage, which could be difficult. Some have never had just a relaxing massage. Don't underestimate the value of a relaxing massage.
The manicure and pedicure may not go as far as it does for a woman. Some guys won't allow it.
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u/captainjack275 18h ago
Birthday rimjob.
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u/Salt__lick 18h ago
It’s an idea 💁🏻♀️ I thought about p3gging too lmfao but idk if that’s a birthday thing - jk?
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u/captainjack275 18h ago
Personally for me pegging doesn’t excite me, but that calmness and relaxation from a rim job is a amazing.
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u/thevokplusminus 18h ago
Are you a nun?
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u/Salt__lick 18h ago
Lmao we don’t have a boring sex life, so giving him a birthday BJ or something kinky is sort of just a regular Tuesday.
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u/TheSmashingTree 18h ago
I think having a person in his life who gives a shit about him that much is the best gift he could get. Your ideas sound great!