r/Eugene • u/HalliburtonErnie • Jan 12 '23

RANT THREAD META

WINCO IS DISCONTINUING THE DISCOUNT FOR USING YOUR OWN BAGS EFFECTIVE 2/1.

USPS CHARGES $1.10 FOR ONLINE CHANGE OF ADDRESS.

MY VERY WORN CONVERSE LET IN WATER FROM EVEN THE SHALLOWEST PUDDLES.

MY WRIST IS SORE, SO I HAVE TO USE MY PEPPER GRINDER WITH MY NON-DOMINANT HAND ON TOP, WHICH FEELS AWKWARD AND IS SLIGHTLY MORE TIME CONSUMING.

JALAPEÑOS AND AVOCADOS CAN BE A CRAPSHOOT OF TASTELESSNESS THIS TIME OF YEAR.

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u/HalliburtonErnie Jan 12 '23

I LIKE BEING IN A HURRY, BUT IF YOU HONK AT ME 0.0003 SECONDS AFTER THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN, I WILL GENTLY LAY MY DICK ON YOUR WINDSHIELD AND SING ALL 7 VERSES OF AMAZING GRACE AT HALF TEMPO.

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u/HokaininPfunk Jan 12 '23

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE READ TONIGHT! THANK YOU FOR YOUR AMAZING WAY WITH THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

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u/beanolc Jan 12 '23

THIS LEGIT MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD! THANK YOU FOR THE VIVID IMAGERY!

1

u/Im_Not_A_Robot_2019 Jan 13 '23 edited Jan 13 '23

COME ON ERNIE, DON'T TRASE US, PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.