r/Conservative • u/Pessimist2020 • Dec 22 '20

Americans Excitedly Anticipate Getting Paid With Their Own Money Satire - Flaired Users Only

https://babylonbee.com/news/americans-excitedly-anticipate-getting-paid-with-their-own-money
12.3k Upvotes

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27

u/brcn3 Dec 22 '20

Everyone is so excited over this, but I think it’s so stupid. Why can’t we all just be allowed back to work and keep the money we earn instead?

35

u/angelfurious Dec 22 '20

Because people cant even be trusted to wash their hands, so cases would spike, we would have thousands more die, hospitals full with hundreds waiting for beds, and hundreds at home left to die in each city and state. Then when everyone is either sick or afraid to leave their home. Who will be going to places to spend or make money with their or their loved ones lives at stake?

4

u/brcn3 Dec 22 '20

😂 ‘Thank you, Daddy Government for taking care of us. We couldn’t do it ourselves.’

30

u/angelfurious Dec 22 '20

We really cant. DUI laws, seatbelt laws, drug laws. People are fucking stupid and cant take care of our selves. If it was things that only hurt the irresponsible party fine. But all of those things can hurt others who did make good decisions but the selfish idiots dont care about others.

16

u/BootOfRiise Dec 22 '20

Japan didn't shut down, has 2.6% unemployment, and 1000 covid deaths, all because everyone wore a mask. Here? Lol.

9

u/angelfurious Dec 22 '20

Right? Other places people seem to care more about their actual community, care about their fellow citizens. Feels like Americans inly care about them selves, least where i live.

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

Here's a novel idea. Let. Them. Die. You can't save everyone and trying to do so will make everyone miserable. The smart people will ignore this nondemic and the paranoid hypochondriacs will wear hazmat suits and everyone can live the way they want.

-2

u/TheChadVirgin Dec 22 '20

Big state supporters in a conservative sub. The state of this place.

11

u/angelfurious Dec 22 '20

Eah i dont identify with anyone. I hate the 2 party system, i believe there need to be laws but that out current government cherishes business over people during my short life time, i creep here for yalls perspective on things as well on the lefts. I think everyone is delusional in that they blame the other side and think they are the victims while being played to hate one another by those with money and jobs to hold onto by tricking you into thinking they care.

0

u/Dman331 Dec 22 '20

Glad someone else sees it

-2

u/Leading-Bowl-8416 Dec 22 '20

They always brigade and pretend to be conservatives, it's pretty funny.

-2

u/namesrhardtothinkof Candace Owens Dec 22 '20

I thought drug laws were bad and (from my personal experience) mandatory sentencing for DUIs turns drunk dads into felons

4

u/angelfurious Dec 22 '20

Laws banning material out right are bad, but there should be laws to punish those who abuse substances. One beer wont hurt anyone, but one asshole drinking 12 and then fighting a person on the street or driving into a house will hurt someone not involved in his bad choices. Same for weed. Casual use wont hurt others, but getting stoned and driving can cause accidents, getting stoned at work can lead to accidents or mistakes that cost others their money. People arnt considerate enough nor responsible enough to have the safety of others rest in their hands. Government should have used all that money to pay people to stay home and help pay businesses bills to stay open till its under control. And i mean small businesses that were closed through no fault of their own. Not the airline industry with its bad spending, or these shell companies that make nothing.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20

[deleted]

1

u/angelfurious Dec 22 '20

Addicts deserve treatment and help. But not everyone is an addict, some are just inconsiderate ass holes who think they are fine to drive drunk because “i havent crashed yet!”

1

u/Leading-Bowl-8416 Dec 22 '20

Rehabilitation should be the first option, but at some point, some people are just self destructive and harmful to those around them with their drug use, and will not make the decision to better themselves. If a parent is high while they're supposed to be taking care of a child who gets injured or something, should they not be punished for that? Like, I'm for rehabilitation, but there is a limit to it also. If someone is on their fifth DUI, it's time to take them off the roads at the least.

5

u/urmoms_ahoe Conservative Dec 22 '20

I hope you’re being sarcastic. Also there’s a huge case spike right now, so apparently none of those things you listed actually work.

8

u/angelfurious Dec 22 '20

Because places opned up early, people still cant wear mask, or avoid family gatherings, or parties. Like taking off the condom half way through and blaming it for not protecting you from herpes.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20

[deleted]

3

u/Officer_Hops Dec 22 '20

If no one followed restrictions COVID has the potential to overwhelm the hospital system. With restrictions in place, the spread of COVID is slowed

3

u/angelfurious Dec 22 '20

Those who are following the rules are the reason it hasent killed a million. Not everyone is listening but many are. The shitty few are the reason its still such a problem

3

u/DietCokeYummie Moderate Conservative Dec 22 '20

I don’t disagree with you, but lockdowns (punishing business owners) for what random other individuals do isn’t right. Ask people to mask up and distance like you’ve been doing, and then leave it at that. Forcing restaurants to only serve people takeout or out in the snow isn’t changing the non-rule-followers’ behavior.

Ultimately, a restaurant is a private business and can opt to still only seat 50% or whatever if they so choose. At-risk individuals can opt to continue staying home and not going out into public or mixing with people who do. This just isn’t what most conservatives are going to agree is the government’s responsibility.

3

u/angelfurious Dec 22 '20

I think they should have been supported along with citizens before airlines and wall street fuck sticks. Pay them to stay closed and help contain spread. I worked in food for 8 years and its not a very sustainable industry. If middle class keeps shrinking, restaurants will follow quickly.

0

u/SunsOfTemper Dec 22 '20

Has anyone in your family been affected by covid?

2

u/DietCokeYummie Moderate Conservative Dec 22 '20

Yes. At this point, this answer is yes for many people I would imagine. My family has been affected by plenty of things I don’t agree with. Emotion on a personal level is not how you make macro decisions.

My family/friends have also been affected by losing a business of 55 years, losing a husband to suicide, and sinking into severe depression from lack of ability to live life. But I guess these folks don’t matter? See what emotional thinking gets you.

You don’t get to randomly decide that group A’s lives are more important than group B’s. In fact, if this were an apocalyptic emergency or something and you were asked to choose who to save.. the elderly (a massive % of Covid deaths) would be last priority because they have such little life left. But either way, it’s not that. Politicians don’t get to play God and decide someone’s life is worth more than someone else’s.

Is it tragic that this kills some? Of course. Is the reaction to that supposed to be to kill others? No way.

Put it this way. If Covid didn’t exist and your mom was getting old and you wanted to extend her life, what would you do? Would you force a random stranger off the street to take her into their home? Would you ask your neighbor to quit his job to care for her or make grocery runs? No. Of course not.

You would take her into your home. You would take away her drivers license if necessary. The only people affected by your mother’s declining health would be you (her family) and her.

It isn’t people’s responsibility to lose their entire lives to protect someone else. It isn’t a restaurant’s responsibility to CLOSE DOWN when the people at risk can just.. not go.

2

u/DietCokeYummie Moderate Conservative Dec 22 '20

To add onto that - I know a common retort is that folks at risk aren’t going to these places but the people they come into contact with are. But this just goes right back to my point about personal responsibility. This is VERY much a family issue and in no way a government/political issue.

One of my good friends is high risk. She doesn’t go many places, as is her responsibility. But even beyond that, she doesn’t mix with people who do. Her grown children don’t go places because that is the sacrifice they are willing to make for their mom. Which is how it should be.

It isn’t MY responsibility to never go anywhere because she (someone I don’t visit) is at risk. It isn’t the mexican restaurant down the street’s responsibility to close down because her kids might patronize it if it’s open and spread it to her.

If her kids choose to go out and she chooses to still see them, that’s on her and them. If her kids choose to go out and hide it from her, they’re pretty shitty kids. These are family issues. This does not mean a restaurant needs to be shut down because some people’s family members suck.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20 edited Dec 22 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/urmoms_ahoe Conservative Dec 22 '20

People are following measures at all time high rates. Also, when we look at states that haven’t locked down, we can see that they are doing substantially better than states that did.

0

u/bloodyfcknhell Dec 22 '20

Yeah but .0001 percent of the population could die!!!!

3

u/SheetMetalCocks Dec 22 '20

Lol, however you justify the deaths of 320,000 people.

4

u/The_Hoopla Dec 22 '20

Dude I don’t know how to tell you this but we’ve started wars for a whole lot less than that.

Also, so far, .01% of the population has died from this. 300,000 people. That number, before it’s all said and done, will more than likely be about 1 million Americans, or 0.3% of the population.

That’s the population of Montana or Austin, TX. Fucking dead. This isn’t including, of course, the millions and millions that will catch severe symptoms from Covid that do permanent damage.

-1

u/Silicosis Dec 22 '20

Curious where you're getting that from? 300k have died so far, US has a population of ~300million. So far we've lost a little less than 0.1% of the population unless I'm misunderstanding something.

-2

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20

[deleted]

5

u/angelfurious Dec 22 '20

You are responsible for others health when you are the one causing others death. People like you will spread it and kill others. The survival rate looks like nothing if you ignore how extremely contagious it is, the fact you can get it multiple time within a year, the fact that it has life long lasting side effects than can handicap you for whatever life you have left, ignore that there is no “season” like flu or cold and that it has been spreading for a whole year. Ignorance and selfishness. Also helps that we have equipment and barely enough hospital space to save the sick but if everyone went out and dod whatever, cases rise, hospitals fill, and then they have to start picking who gets the ventilator and who dies. Take off the dog cone and look outside one stat.

-2

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20

[deleted]

4

u/angelfurious Dec 22 '20

Thats not a society, thats go live in the woods and expect help from no one. Population is growing fast and the world will keep shrinking. Need people who care for one another and want to work together before mad max kicks in

-5

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '20

What fantasy world are you living in where any of that shit is happening? The hospitals were never full, my mom is an ER nurse. If we stop this lockdown nonsense we'll reach herd immunity in less than a few months if we haven't reached it already. The virus isn't even very deadly as we once thought it was. The best outcome for everyone is to just go back to normal.

6

u/robby_synclair Dec 22 '20

Yea last year my stimulus check paid what I owed on my federal income tax. This year the government is gonna right me a check for $600 and send me a bill for 3k. I make about $47k a year.

1

u/mycha1nsarebroken Conservative Dec 23 '20

There wasn’t a stimulus last year. The next taxes you will have to pay is next year. If you owe 3k in taxes, you really did your withholdings wrong.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '20

u/brcn3 I don't know anyone who would disagree with that sentiment. Genuinely asking, movie theaters, concert venues -- how are they supposed to be in business currently or for the previous few months supposed to operate? The live music industry for example is hurting and a majority of those people just don't have work, full stop.

How are they supposed to go back to work now? That's why people want/need these checks... Wouldn't have needed them if we had a better response government/state wise to all this.

0

u/Boomslang00 Dec 22 '20

Are you ill? It sounds like zero people are "excited" about this.

Going back to work for some people is showing up at an abandoned building.

Read the room before you say something so ridiculous.