What socially unacceptable things are you OK with?

8.4k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

1.5k

u/Brancher Jul 13 '15

I'm a distance runner...with a cocaine problem.

219

u/Aceinator Jul 13 '15

My god, that'll def get ya going

24

u/tabassman Jul 14 '15

He's actually at home the whole time--we just don't have the heart to tell him otherwise.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

[deleted]

6

u/Hateborn Jul 14 '15

It will, on the other hand, make you run home from the bar. Even if you drove to the bar.

1

u/Keegan320 Aug 08 '15

I didn't want to believe that reddit was mostly high schoolers, but this is upvoted... Sigh.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

if you run often a few miles isnt very much, 10km is less than an hour at a jog so it really isnt that big of a deal

1

u/vanguard_DMR Jul 14 '15

Some say he's still running...

35

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

That's a dangerous combo for heart troubles, please take care of yourself!

87

u/Brancher Jul 13 '15

It's a dangerous combo for crushing 5K PR's too.

10

u/Roast_A_Botch Jul 14 '15

Not going to be so great when you keel over halfway through a race due to a heart attack. Not talking shit, but you said you had a coke problem. That implies heavy use which will fuck your heart up no matter how much running you do. If you're training while high it's even worse as you're running your heart at max constantly.

1

u/AcidCyborg Jul 14 '15

Cocaine by itself is barely cardiotoxic. It's only when mixed with alcohol that it becomes cocethylene in vivo which is dangerously so.

14

u/transmogrified Jul 14 '15

Yeah but who does coke without drinking?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Pam

20

u/destinythrow12787 Jul 14 '15

lmfao. take care of yourself bud, but well played

4

u/xRehab Jul 14 '15

And you keep a victory bowl packed in the car/on the desk for when you finish

6

u/Brancher Jul 14 '15

You know it.

2

u/funnymanrocco Jul 14 '15

I'm late to the party, but that was a great comeback.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15 edited Jul 14 '15

What is your PR? This is my first summer running, hit 20:52 as my best 5k so far. I'm around 47 for 10k and started training this week to run my first half in October. Hoping to do it in 1:45.

2

u/Brancher Jul 14 '15

In an actual race like 15:15 maybe? From the bar no clue.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Christ that's quick. Fastest I've seen first hand in a race was back in May a guy put up a 15:03... Then again I didn't catch it first-hand. He would have been over a km ahead of me.

1

u/Brancher Jul 14 '15

20:52 is really fucking good for your first summer running.

6

u/Tommy2255 Jul 14 '15

Probably less dangerous than cocaine and no exercise. Cocaine and cheeseburgers, now that'll fuck up your heart.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

no actually, cocaine and exercise might just be worse.

6

u/Jive-Turkeys Jul 14 '15

No, see something doesn't quite add up here. You sound more like a cocaine user with a running problem!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

cocaine problem

You mean a too-much-money problem?

2

u/_BindersFullOfWomen_ Jul 14 '15

Best. Training. Program. Ever.

1

u/kpatrickII Jul 14 '15

Are you me? Except adderall.

1

u/NintendoDestroyer89 Jul 14 '15

Is u/8_ball from a few comments down your hookup?

1

u/8_ball Jul 14 '15

Nah, not my thing.

1

u/mashedbrain Jul 14 '15

I want this to be the name of your book.

1

u/Tbern05 Jul 14 '15

Try meth. It's more cost efficient.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Problem? Sounds like you found a great way to super charge your workouts. A girl from my old high school did this for a while. She can't have kids now but damn if she isn't hot.

1

u/truthinlies Jul 14 '15

sounds like a cocaine solution

1

u/Matti_Matti_Matti Jul 14 '15

What's the problem with cocaine?

1

u/graverubber Jul 14 '15

More of a cocaine solution.

1

u/hydrogen_won Jul 14 '15

Kevin is that you?

1

u/casketballer Jul 14 '15

I'm a cocaine runner with a distance problem

1

u/sniperforlife1 Jul 14 '15

Sounds more like a cocaine solution.

1

u/pobparker Jul 14 '15

with a cocaine problem

with a cocaine enhancement

1

u/ORlGlNAL Jul 14 '15

I'm a cocainer...with a running problem. FTFY

1

u/OhSeeThat Jul 21 '15

Tagged as Distance runner with cocaine habit.

0

u/SayceGards Jul 14 '15

And there it is