r/AskReddit Jul 13 '15

What socially unacceptable things are you OK with?

8.4k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/Artemissister Jul 13 '15

And I hate the goddamned arguments you get "You're going???? Whyyyyy???" Uh, because I have to or want to. 2 or 3 parties like this is how I perfected The Vanish Act.

799

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

We call this the ol "Irish Goodbye"

34

u/OKHnyc Jul 13 '15

Coming here to say exactly this. Walk out the door backwards so everyone thinks you're just showing up.

42

u/SnatchAddict Jul 14 '15

My friends hate when I do this. I do it because I hate being hassled. If they were just like, thanks for coming out, see ya! I'd be ok.

But it's, don't go, stay for another. Don't be a pussy. Etc.

No. I'm done. I'm tired. I know my limit. I want to see my wife etc.

30

u/rough_bread Jul 14 '15

Hearing for once that you want to see the wife instead of get away warmed my heart a little

22

u/Yeti_Poet Jul 14 '15

Well, the man is addicted to snatch.

12

u/mandalf12 Jul 14 '15

That is a good film.

3

u/AdviceWithSalt Jul 14 '15

I use my SO as my excuse to leave any social situation. It's like 50/50 if she's even home, she's just the perfect excuse.

4

u/SnatchAddict Jul 14 '15

My wife is 22 weeks pregnant so I've got that going for me

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Dude that's like 2 years

3

u/SnatchAddict Jul 14 '15

Do you even math?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Yes

26

u/goldrushing Jul 14 '15

I've always known (and practiced) this move as the 'Irish Exit'. I understood it came from whenever it was the Irishman's turn to buy a round of drinks, he'd mysteriously disappeared.. But yeah, fuck the party goodbye. A friend of mine refers to it as 'doing a batman'.

9

u/Koonga Jul 14 '15

We call it French Exit where i'm from, but I do like The Batman. I want to make that a thing.

8

u/inexcess Jul 14 '15

Around my area we use the word "bounce" to refer to someone leaving. If they leave without telling anybody, we refer to it as a "shady bounce".

5

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

In Portland I've heard this called the "sketch bail"

2

u/luzertomorrow Jul 14 '15

In D.C., "sketch ball" has an entirely different meaning.

2

u/Redditarama Jul 14 '15

Ahh, in France we call it the English exit.

1

u/tragamin Jul 14 '15

irish exit yeah but the real reason is most irish people are awkward and dont want to make a big scene when theyre leaving as if theyre famous or something

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

I've also heard that it comes from the Irish slipping out the side door of the church after Mass to avoid long chats after the service.

1

u/Sciddaw Jul 14 '15

I'd heard it as someone who wanders off while drunk and doesn't return to the party

9

u/JorgeKloony Jul 14 '15

An old friend calls it the "Cherokee Fadeaway"

4

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

I knew I'd find this term in the reply chain. Thank you

18

u/feowns Jul 14 '15

Oh my god because Irish people drag out goodbyes forever. I swear I hate dding for my parents because we don't actually leave until at least 30 minutes after the goodbyes start

11

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Sounds a lot like the Minnesotan goodbye. Always start saying your goodbyes at least 40 minutes before you actually intend to leave.

7

u/TVhero Jul 14 '15

30 minutes? Your lucky, I'm usually there another hour at least

5

u/slapandtickleme Jul 13 '15

"French exit" over here.

9

u/waldgnome Jul 13 '15

"English goodbye" or rather "Englischer Abgang" in German. At least in my region.

8

u/READMYSHIT Jul 13 '15

Brits. Stealing our stuff again.

1

u/antarctic_chimpanzee Jul 14 '15

I take it you hear about the McGregor thing then

4

u/GaryMutherFuckinOak Jul 14 '15

"Polnischer Abgang" in Munich

5

u/Jon_Cake Jul 14 '15

My friend taught me this term! He tried to leave a party once by quietly telling a few people he was heading out, saying he was "doing the Irish exit." So naturally, one of the first people he came up to yelled out, "HEY EVERYONE! ALAN IS LEAVING!"

Of course, this led to everyone making a huge deal out of it and he was stuck with the awful drawn-out goodbye for the next 10 minutes or so before he could finally get out.

The best part came about 45 minutes later when he had to come back and go through the departure rigmarole again because he had forgotten his backpack...

2

u/hawtsaus Jul 13 '15

"Smokebombing"

2

u/chrishopkins Jul 14 '15

Can confirm.

2

u/-blacktaxi- Jul 14 '15

Many of my friends and I call it "pulling the party parachute".

2

u/vaitor Jul 14 '15

In Germany we know it as the ol "Polish Exit"

2

u/daybowbowchica Jul 14 '15

I call it the "Houdini"

2

u/DrunkenGolfer Jul 14 '15

We call it "smokebombing".

2

u/oncestrong13 Jul 14 '15

The old "Just going out for smokes" routine

2

u/ettenyl29 Jul 14 '15

I've heard it as the Irish Ghost...I do it.

2

u/BigWil Jul 14 '15

Aka the black father

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

I also have heard it called "the Gypsy Fade" which I totally love for whatever reason.

0

u/Juffin Jul 13 '15

This is English Goodbye.

Irish Goodbye is to pass out drunk without saying a word to anyone

0

u/Dassery0 Jul 14 '15

And be inexplicably gone before morning

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

The only proper way to exit. Not a sound.

1

u/turnpikenorth Jul 14 '15

"Irish Exit" here

1

u/itzerokewl Jul 14 '15

My brother-in-law has dubbed this the "Ninja Vanish" act.

1

u/RolandTheGunner Jul 14 '15

Interesting, in Spanish we call this the French goodbye, "despedirse a la francesa".

1

u/basadvo Jul 14 '15

I thought the "Irish goodbye" was getting drunk and wandering off?

1

u/Koonga Jul 14 '15

It's known in my parts as The French Exit.

1

u/dbagthrowaway Jul 14 '15

I believe it's also called "taking Dutch leave."

1

u/HeWentToJared91 Jul 14 '15

You mean "Drunkenly beat the shit out of someone and leave"?

1

u/461weavile Jul 14 '15

My cousins called it the "shady bounce"

I'm not as cool as them

1

u/zangkor Jul 14 '15

Houdini-ing

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Interesting, where I'm from it's called a French goodbye

1

u/Artemissister Jul 15 '15

HAH! I was told it's called "The French Goodbye!"

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

No, that's when you don't bring potatoes to a party.

525

u/cyanight7 Jul 13 '15

"Do you really want me to explain why I want to leave your party? I have a feeling you won't like the explanation."

6

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

[deleted]

11

u/cyanight7 Jul 13 '15

"It's because your party is crap m8y"

3

u/MusaTheRedGuard Jul 14 '15

m8y? Are you a pirate?

5

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

And literally you're going to say barring "[insert relative/close friend] just got rushed to the hospital" is going to be met with that groaning Nooooo stayyyyyy and then Nooooo you're no funnn.

Way easier to just dip out. Drunk people tend to forget who was there at the end of the night

5

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Yeah that dead prostitute in the bath tub is not going to fuck herself one more time before being burried in the backyard.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

"Because your tacky and I hate you"

1

u/cyanight7 Jul 14 '15

Dat reference is off the charts.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

For reals though. "Whyyyeeee don't leeeave!" "I'm bored, your friends are boring, the music is too loud, people are doing it in the only bathroom, and you get annoying when you're drunk. Take your pick." I don't want to be a jerk, though, so I just say I'm tired.

2

u/cyanight7 Jul 14 '15

What I think:

"I don't want to listen to your conversation about things I don't care about with people I don't care about in a place I don't care for with people I don't particularly like all around me. And your internet is slow as hell. How do you even use this?"

What I say:

"Yeaah I have stuff to do tomorrow... better get off to sleep."

1

u/Jackyl9999 Jul 14 '15

Just say you need to poop. It works.

3

u/cyanight7 Jul 14 '15

"I need to poop but am afraid of using your bathroom because I saw a toilet alligator in there"

1

u/SUCK_MY_DICK_THANKS Jul 14 '15

"I pooped my pants and it's starting to smell"

3

u/cottoncandymaiden Jul 13 '15

My passive-aggressive response:

"Haha, if I stay any later, I'll turn into a pumpkin!"

What I mean:

"I want to go home and play video games with my husband, and then go to bed at a decent hour because I have shit to do tomorrow."

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

I have these things called "responsibilities" that I have to fulfill tomorrow.

2

u/maxgarzo Jul 14 '15

I actually say this to people, but in a very disdainful and annoyed voice to convey that dread all/most of us have about getting up tomorrow.

"Why are you leaving??"

"Ahh man I gotta go be a fucking adult tomorrow, gaaah"

"hahah alright man, cya later"

Works every tiiiiime.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Huh, that is actually a good way to put it. Cool.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

[deleted]

4

u/the-nub Jul 14 '15

You know who's really fun at parties? The person who draws attention to people who are uncomfortable in party situations and makes them feel even worse.

They're so fun to be around at parties.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

"Omg why do you always leave the party so early!?!? Stay late and get drunk!!!!!!"

2

u/kuavi Jul 14 '15

That's why he/she is leaving them.

10

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

This is the reason I stopped saying goodbye at parties! The "goodbye guilt" is a pain in the arse!

19

u/blacksun2012 Jul 13 '15

The vanishing act, I'm a pro.

Just last week I was hanging out with people, wasn't really feeling it, someone said "hey anybody want some food" I just said "yeah I think i have some at home" and walked out the door

4

u/mikeet9 Jul 14 '15

Haha, that's not a vanishing act. You told them where you were going.

0

u/blacksun2012 Jul 14 '15

It took them 20 mins to actually notice I left lol

2

u/rawrnnn Jul 14 '15

Damn that's kind of cold

1

u/blacksun2012 Jul 14 '15

It was meant to be, I don't like being in the situation where everyone around me is smoking and drinking and completely ignoring me just because I'm sober. I no longer talk to those people.

7

u/sclion13 Jul 13 '15

I call it ghosting and I'm a pro.

3

u/TimeyWimeyWho Jul 13 '15

We call it back-dooring and I wrote the book. Found a way to do it without saying bye, no guilt, and not pissing anyone of.

12

u/ineedmymedicine Jul 13 '15

still have a reputation from college for being the "Citrona guy" (if you remember the commercials) because i would constantly ditch parties when I got too tired/drunk and would just walk home. Apparently I missed out on a lot of good times but owell.

8

u/bolt_snap_bolt Jul 13 '15

Fuck it man. I've done this a lot of times. I was either extremely bored/messed up or just simply tired.

If I don't want to be at this party, then shouldn't get heat for wanting to leave.

2

u/Rinkydinky Jul 13 '15

Also the, I know I'm gonna throw up so might as well get home beforehand.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

A third of the time it was crazy as fuck, a third of the time is was pretty what the fuck, and a third of the time it was boring as fuck

1

u/mikeet9 Jul 14 '15

I have a friend who is famous for this. He visited me at college and we were out at the bars, then out of nowhere he was gone. When we got home he was asleep on the couch.

10

u/EngelbertHerpaderp Jul 13 '15

I'm guilty of doing that when I entertain and people start leaving, but its never an arguement. It's just fucking annoying if the first person leaves early, because people are lemmings and follow shortly thereafter. Entertaining is expensive and guests make the occasion possible.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

Hint: if people are leaving like lemmings, then they were just looking for an excuse to leave anyway.

0

u/EngelbertHerpaderp Jul 14 '15

Nope. I don't force anyone to come, and those that do don't attend because they feel forced. I throw great parties that are always fun. Everyone feels welcome and the food and libations flow freely. The issue is that someone leaving reminds them of the time. Then they remember they're "adults" and blah blah blah. It never fails - someone leaves at eleven, everyone's gone by midnight. The first leaves at midnight, everyone's gone by 12:30. No one leaves until 1:30, everyone's gone by 2am. It's a trigger. People aren't looking for an excuse to leave. It just serves as a reminder that its getting late. Since I'm in my mid 30's now, people are less inclined to just crash.

4

u/casual-nipples Jul 13 '15

We call it 'the Phantom' and I am notorious in my friend group for it. I hate sloppy drunk goodbyes, when I'm ready to leave, I leave.

5

u/YOUNG_G0D Jul 13 '15

Friends who I went to HS with used to call med "The Legend", mainly b/c I always just seemed to randomly vanish. Little did they know, they annoyed me quite often. You couldn't have normal conversations; it was just random blurts of nonsense and then awkwardness.

The Legend sounds cool as fuck tho, so I'll live with it.

2

u/Olddirtychurro Jul 13 '15

If i really want to leave...the only people i greet are at the door. Buh bye.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

"Hey thanks we're going now"

"Alright seeya"

(party continues)

2

u/smencils Jul 13 '15

The old Pink Panther Method

2

u/thespecialorange Jul 13 '15

I think a lot of hosts do this so that the guest leaving doesn't think the host didn't care about them being there (which they probably didn't but it makes them feel good anyways)

2

u/scooby_noob Jul 13 '15

"The Vanish Act," look it up. It's an actual law. In fact, it's based on a key tenant of the Party Constitution.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

this is how I perfected The Vanish Act.

Huh, I've always called it The Smoke Bomb.

2

u/daithice Jul 13 '15

Unfortunately I haven't yet perfected it. I generally leave quite conspicuously and then just ignore all phone calls and deal with it the next day.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

I can imagine you fading into the bushes like Homer.

1

u/Artemissister Jul 15 '15

I loved that--reminded me of Green Man. Green Man Homer.

2

u/szg0033 Jul 13 '15

The sole reason why one of my friends is often referred to as "escape artist"

2

u/boss851 Jul 13 '15

We call bailing on a party without announcing that your leaving "Batman'ing"

2

u/evenflow86 Jul 13 '15

"You're going???? Whyyyyy???"

'Because I don't like socialising anyway as it drains all of my energy and I've already maxed out my personal quota on one party per year at the most so I'm going now'.

.........is what I'd like to say. Realistically I just say I'm tired.

2

u/vannawhite_power Jul 14 '15

Ahhh the old "Cherokee Fade"

2

u/remotefixonline Jul 14 '15

Just yell really loud "hey everybody" when it gets quiet and everyone looks at you "I'm out"

2

u/devildocjames Jul 14 '15

Because the poon is scarce and the food sucks.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Nothing better then the ole " I'm going to the bathroom " and then check out the front door lol

2

u/ShelfDiver Jul 14 '15

I wish I could pull off a Bill Murray and give a speech about the groom or bride then everyone cheers and celebrates the whoever while you quietly slip away into the background.

2

u/datapye Jul 14 '15

I don't mind this actually.

Shows people they care about me...right?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

We just want to be sure you feel bad. Welcome to stay, a jerk if you leave. Separation anxiety, most likely. We may never see each other again! Why didn't I ask him to stay?!?!

2

u/ryan924 Jul 14 '15

I just say I have to take a massive dump and don't want to clog up the host bathroom. Trust me, they won't ask any more questions

2

u/oofta31 Jul 14 '15

This. If I didn't have to explain myself, I wouldn't mind saying goodbye. It gets pretty ridiculous when I have to lawyer up and have a logical case for leaving early.

2

u/Lyeta Jul 14 '15

And then the endless 'oh we should catch up sometime.' 'oh yes! Dinner sometime?' 'Sure'

WITH EVERY DAMN PERSON.

Just let me leeeavvee.

2

u/Sknowman Jul 14 '15

Apparently I've taken a liking to vanishing when I'm drinking. My brother hosts parties somewhat often, and I join in. Instead of saying that I'm going to bed and saying goodnight or goodbye to whoever is still there, I just go upstairs without a word.

2

u/wbro322 Jul 14 '15

My friends are pretty used to it. If they don't see me for about 10 minutes then they know I've peaced out. I don't know why but i just can't bring myself to say bye at social events.

1

u/Artemissister Jul 15 '15

I don't like interrupting something that's going on where everyone's having a good time. I'm not an Attention Whore, so I am perfectly okay with people looking elsewhere while I creep out.

2

u/statestreetsteve Jul 14 '15

I prefer to call it, the black dad

2

u/Jellooooo Jul 14 '15

The Vanish Act?

2

u/LeeSeneses Jul 14 '15

Man dude that sounds ultra clingy of them. Makes me cringe.

2

u/thenichi Jul 14 '15

I yell I'm out in the direction people I give a shit about and wave while walking out.

2

u/sophiatheworst Jul 14 '15

My family does this. They all live in the same small town within a couple of blocks of each other (my brother actually lives next door to my mom)and I live 2 hours away with my husband and children, so when we come to visit we try to leave around 6 so that we're home by 8 (kid's bedtime). Everyone always freaks out like we should stay until midnight every time. It's like a damn fight just to leave!

2

u/gurugnu Jul 14 '15

My favorite response to this was I shushed them and said "I can't tell you."

2

u/Chester_A_Arthritis Jul 14 '15

"You're going???? Whyyyyy???"

And its always said by someone you weren't talking to that much at the party.

1

u/Artemissister Jul 15 '15

Exactly. The host and hostess were ignoring me for hours until I decided to leave.

2

u/unclearsix Jul 13 '15

I wish I could up vote this more than once.

2

u/Arttherapist Jul 13 '15 edited Jul 13 '15

I've heard it called "the Irish exit" or "ghosting"

1

u/saywhaaaat Jul 13 '15

You could always say from the get go that you can't stay too long because you'd already made other plans (that way A. You can't be guilted for leaving and B. It looks like you made extra effort to attend). Then, if the party is good, you can decide to stay.

1

u/hepcecob Jul 13 '15

People usually say that to make you feel wanted... they don't actually want to know why.

1

u/Corazon-DeLeon Jul 14 '15

It's not an argument. They just enjoy your company, man.

1

u/Artemissister Jul 15 '15

Well, in one case my allergy to the live Christmas tree had me wheezing and my eyes swelling shut. I couldn't breathe. I don't give a flying fuck if they were "enjoying my company" at that point.

-1

u/ErrorGalaxy Jul 13 '15

what if nobody realized u were even their

1

u/Artemissister Jul 15 '15

That's how The Vanish Act began: I'd have conversations with half a dozen people, laugh, dance, have a great time, and the next day I'd have half the people ask me why I wasn't there. The fuck? We had a 20 minute convo! You don't fucking remember it?? jesus.