And I hate the goddamned arguments you get "You're going???? Whyyyyy???" Uh, because I have to or want to. 2 or 3 parties like this is how I perfected The Vanish Act.
I've always known (and practiced) this move as the 'Irish Exit'. I understood it came from whenever it was the Irishman's turn to buy a round of drinks, he'd mysteriously disappeared..
But yeah, fuck the party goodbye. A friend of mine refers to it as 'doing a batman'.
irish exit yeah but the real reason is most irish people are awkward and dont want to make a big scene when theyre leaving as if theyre famous or something
Oh my god because Irish people drag out goodbyes forever. I swear I hate dding for my parents because we don't actually leave until at least 30 minutes after the goodbyes start
My friend taught me this term! He tried to leave a party once by quietly telling a few people he was heading out, saying he was "doing the Irish exit." So naturally, one of the first people he came up to yelled out, "HEY EVERYONE! ALAN IS LEAVING!"
Of course, this led to everyone making a huge deal out of it and he was stuck with the awful drawn-out goodbye for the next 10 minutes or so before he could finally get out.
The best part came about 45 minutes later when he had to come back and go through the departure rigmarole again because he had forgotten his backpack...
And literally you're going to say barring "[insert relative/close friend] just got rushed to the hospital" is going to be met with that groaning Nooooo stayyyyyy and then Nooooo you're no funnn.
Way easier to just dip out. Drunk people tend to forget who was there at the end of the night
For reals though. "Whyyyeeee don't leeeave!" "I'm bored, your friends are boring, the music is too loud, people are doing it in the only bathroom, and you get annoying when you're drunk. Take your pick." I don't want to be a jerk, though, so I just say I'm tired.
"I don't want to listen to your conversation about things I don't care about with people I don't care about in a place I don't care for with people I don't particularly like all around me. And your internet is slow as hell. How do you even use this?"
What I say:
"Yeaah I have stuff to do tomorrow... better get off to sleep."
You know who's really fun at parties? The person who draws attention to people who are uncomfortable in party situations and makes them feel even worse.
Just last week I was hanging out with people, wasn't really feeling it, someone said "hey anybody want some food" I just said "yeah I think i have some at home" and walked out the door
It was meant to be, I don't like being in the situation where everyone around me is smoking and drinking and completely ignoring me just because I'm sober. I no longer talk to those people.
still have a reputation from college for being the "Citrona guy" (if you remember the commercials) because i would constantly ditch parties when I got too tired/drunk and would just walk home. Apparently I missed out on a lot of good times but owell.
I have a friend who is famous for this. He visited me at college and we were out at the bars, then out of nowhere he was gone. When we got home he was asleep on the couch.
I'm guilty of doing that when I entertain and people start leaving, but its never an arguement. It's just fucking annoying if the first person leaves early, because people are lemmings and follow shortly thereafter. Entertaining is expensive and guests make the occasion possible.
Nope. I don't force anyone to come, and those that do don't attend because they feel forced. I throw great parties that are always fun. Everyone feels welcome and the food and libations flow freely. The issue is that someone leaving reminds them of the time. Then they remember they're "adults" and blah blah blah. It never fails - someone leaves at eleven, everyone's gone by midnight. The first leaves at midnight, everyone's gone by 12:30. No one leaves until 1:30, everyone's gone by 2am. It's a trigger. People aren't looking for an excuse to leave. It just serves as a reminder that its getting late. Since I'm in my mid 30's now, people are less inclined to just crash.
Friends who I went to HS with used to call med "The Legend", mainly b/c I always just seemed to randomly vanish. Little did they know, they annoyed me quite often. You couldn't have normal conversations; it was just random blurts of nonsense and then awkwardness.
The Legend sounds cool as fuck tho, so I'll live with it.
I think a lot of hosts do this so that the guest leaving doesn't think the host didn't care about them being there (which they probably didn't but it makes them feel good anyways)
'Because I don't like socialising anyway as it drains all of my energy and I've already maxed out my personal quota on one party per year at the most so I'm going now'.
.........is what I'd like to say. Realistically I just say I'm tired.
I wish I could pull off a Bill Murray and give a speech about the groom or bride then everyone cheers and celebrates the whoever while you quietly slip away into the background.
We just want to be sure you feel bad. Welcome to stay, a jerk if you leave. Separation anxiety, most likely. We may never see each other again! Why didn't I ask him to stay?!?!
This. If I didn't have to explain myself, I wouldn't mind saying goodbye. It gets pretty ridiculous when I have to lawyer up and have a logical case for leaving early.
Apparently I've taken a liking to vanishing when I'm drinking. My brother hosts parties somewhat often, and I join in. Instead of saying that I'm going to bed and saying goodnight or goodbye to whoever is still there, I just go upstairs without a word.
My friends are pretty used to it. If they don't see me for about 10 minutes then they know I've peaced out. I don't know why but i just can't bring myself to say bye at social events.
I don't like interrupting something that's going on where everyone's having a good time. I'm not an Attention Whore, so I am perfectly okay with people looking elsewhere while I creep out.
My family does this. They all live in the same small town within a couple of blocks of each other (my brother actually lives next door to my mom)and I live 2 hours away with my husband and children, so when we come to visit we try to leave around 6 so that we're home by 8 (kid's bedtime). Everyone always freaks out like we should stay until midnight every time. It's like a damn fight just to leave!
You could always say from the get go that you can't stay too long because you'd already made other plans (that way A. You can't be guilted for leaving and B. It looks like you made extra effort to attend). Then, if the party is good, you can decide to stay.
Well, in one case my allergy to the live Christmas tree had me wheezing and my eyes swelling shut. I couldn't breathe. I don't give a flying fuck if they were "enjoying my company" at that point.
That's how The Vanish Act began: I'd have conversations with half a dozen people, laugh, dance, have a great time, and the next day I'd have half the people ask me why I wasn't there. The fuck? We had a 20 minute convo! You don't fucking remember it?? jesus.
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u/Artemissister Jul 13 '15
And I hate the goddamned arguments you get "You're going???? Whyyyyy???" Uh, because I have to or want to. 2 or 3 parties like this is how I perfected The Vanish Act.